One Million Moms Found Something Else to Whine About

Back in February, the conservative group One Million Moms (Facebook membership: 48,488), famously called for a boycott of JC Penney’s for choosing Worlds-Most-Likable-Person Ellen DeGeneres as their spokeswoman.  Why? Because she is a scary, icky lesbian, of course!  Of course, their plan totally backfired in their bigoted faces.

Since then, they have also leveled their teeny, tiny sword of influence at Oreos (*yawn*) and now they have found something new to annoy us with!

This fall, NBC is debuting a new show called “The New Normal” about a single mom who has agreed to be a surrogate for a gay couple.

I shall give you a moment to swoon and clutch your pearls.

Don’t look too long! You could catch the gay!

“But Jessica!” you are surely saying, “How dare evil NBC tell the stories of people who don’t conform to our antiquated views on how a family should be!?  Sure, show after show features pre-marital sex, couples living together in sin, and, you know, murder…but this!  This crosses the line!  A committed gay couple who desire to have the life-changing experience of raising a child?  The nerve!  The very nerve!”

Take it easy, fake reader, you have someone to champion your silly beliefs! Once again, One Million Moms (Twitter follower-ship: 1,849), our favorite moral watch-Chihuahua, is standing up for you!

NBC is using public airwaves to continue to subject families to the decay of morals and values, and the sanctity of marriage in attempting to redefine marriage. These things are harmful to our society, and this program is damaging to our culture.

Millions of Americans strongly believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman. NBC’s “The New Normal” is attempting to desensitize America and our children.It is the opposite of how families are designed and created. You cannot recreate the biological wheel.

I mean, you kind of have to respect their tenacity.  OMM (as in “OMM Nom Nom”) seems to have very little success, but they just keep plugging along.

And actually… the show looks kind of cute.

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • http://annainca.blogspot.com/ Anna

    It is the opposite of how families are designed and created. You cannot recreate the biological wheel.

    Actually, you can. That’s sort of the point, LOL. If it wasn’t possible, One Million Moms wouldn’t be so upset.

    • Sindigo

      How true. Well spotted. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/don.gwinn Don Gwinn

    I’m with them on this one.  If I’m going to be subjected to the decay of something, I expect to be come a Hulk or something at the very least.  

    That was lame, but seriously, they really do read like they think viewers will be irradiated with waves of GayMan Radiation.  GayMan particles will be shooting out of your television as the source decays, and they’ll get all over you, and let me tell you, it’s no fun trying to get GayMan particles off you.  Especially if you have a mustache.

    I should probably stop now.

    • golfie

      It was going fine till you mentioned the moustache

    • SeniorSkeptik

       Thanks for the belly laugh!

  • http://twitter.com/NontheistCentra Nontheist Central

    When are these “million moms” gonna realize that they look like complete fools.  It’s clear they are a tiny minority.  Most people, obviously, don’t agree with them.  *eyeroll*

  • allein

    Hey, Chihuahuas are awesome!
    But I agree, the show looks cute; I’ve seen the commercial for it several times (but that trailer is even better than what NBC has been showing). I just hope they can keep some of the more annoying elements of Glee! far away!

    As for OMM, I just find them good for a giggle.

    • Kodie

      I saw the promos too and as soon as they said by the same people who make Glee!, I kind of got turned off. Good for people who like Glee! I guess, I just don’t. I will probably try it, but I’ve gotten behind in shows I actually like watching too, just not as attached to it as I used to be, in general. WTF with that other new show I keep seeing ads for, the one with the doctors who are monkeys? I guess that doesn’t violate any sensibilities?

       

      • allein

        I have a love-hate relationship with Glee!. I watched up through the last season because of the original cast, and I really don’t know what the heck they’re going to do with it next season. (Then again, I don’t think they know what the heck they’re doing with it from one episode to the next.) I’ll probably watch the beginning of season 4 and see how it goes. But when I watch I get very exasperated because the suspension of disbelief required is somethimes a bit much. And the original characters that are left in the school are some of the most annoying and/or uninteresting. I keep saying I’ll watch until it ends but I won’t miss it when it’s gone. It’s kind of like a train wreck. Personally, I think after season 3 when most of the kids graduated would have been a good time to end it.

        Though this new show has Nene Leakes (which I didn’t know until I watched the trailer linked here), whose character on Glee! really gets on my nerves, and this new character doesn’t appear to be any different, so we’ll see. But it also has Andrew Rannells who was in the original cast of The Book of Mormon, so that’s a plus….

        The monkey doctor show I can’t even…I’ve seen the ads and I couldn’t figure out what the premise of the show was actually supposed to be. And I’m not sure I really want to know.

        • Kodie

          In theory, I do like that a show like Glee! is on tv. From what I understand, it’s a bunch of high school kids going through their problems and working them out, these are kids who might not otherwise be spotlighted on other teen dramas except as the token weird outcast friend. I’m out of high school for a long time now. I also kind of can’t stand the singing. Having been in drama club and had other work in theaters as tech and marketing, it’s just not my favorite thing for singing people to just start singing. But that’s their whole thing on Glee! I don’t tend to watch any teen dramas, I can’t remember ever getting sucked into one, and I come from the age of original 90210. I was always, like, “who cares?” even when they do really socially-important episode arcs about drugs or anorexia. Some people do, and that’s for them, and I especially support that Glee! is on the air, for teens who don’t usually get a show about kids like themselves, and kids who have (I assume) some more realistic problems that are actually about life in high school and surviving it intact.

           

          • allein

            I do like that they tackle some of those issues that you don’t see much, though I don’t think they do a very good job in a lot of ways (some of the things have come pretty much out of nowhere, are dealt with in half an episode, and are never mentioned again, for example the attempted suicide of one of the minor characters who hadn’t even been seen in several episodes when they did it).

            I think Glee! is the only “teen” show that I really watch. My former roommate and I did watch the first season of Secret Life of the American Teenager, but that was mostly because we had nothing better to do when it was on and we wanted to see how bad it could get. (That one, I really cannot understand why it is still on.)

            The original 90210 started when I was in high school; I did get sucked into the first few seasons but I lost interest around my first year of college. (I just looked it up, I didn’t even realize it was on for as long as it was, 1990-2000.)

            • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

               Oh, gods. “Secret Life” is one of those “so awful you can’t look away” things.

              It helps if you take a shot (or hit the bong) every time someone says “sex”.

              • allein

                We’d all be dead from alcohol poisoning in the first half hour.

                Something more interesting (I don’t remember what) was on in the same time slot when the second season started so I stopped watching. Every once in a while I’ll flip to it when it’s on to see if it’s gotten any better. Though I can tell just from the ads that it hasn’t (I’ve been watching Bunheads this summer, which is not great but cute enough for a summer filler show, and Secret Life comes on after so I see a lot of ads for it). Every time I see an ad I ask myself, Why the hell is this show still on?

  • Jenifersf

    What the hell is a biological wheel?

    • Kodie

      Weird, but I think they tried to use a metaphor. It will probably be the new “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” because it’s short and sounds good to people who don’t think. 

    • http://donnyfate.deviantart.com/ Donovan Shears

      I imagine it’s some kind’ve chum soaked taxidermy abomination one rolls about to attract predators.
      Or, less amusingly, a science class diorama on the food chain.  
      Either way, no idea why they’re so mad at gay people.

    • allein

      I read it as metaphorical, too, but if you google it, the first item is the Wikipedia page for “Rotating locomotion in living systems” (which talks about the “lack of biological wheels”).

      The second is this post. :)

      Through another link on the results page, I found this, which is kind of interesting
      http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1151/why-has-no-animal-species-ever-evolved-wheels

      • Michael

        So the only biological wheel that we have observed is on a germ?

        Sounds like there’s a metaphor in there somewhere…

        • allein

          Heh, and it’s the creationists’ favorite, too!

    • Patterrssonn

      I keep picturing some pink fleshy wheel and it’s creeping me out.

      • Outcast

        I imagined a green wheel. I gues because green = nature.

        • Patterrssonn

          That’s probably a healthy sign, I have perhaps seen too many David Cronenberg films, and the wheel phrase is used in reference to human reproduction. Either way it’s a pretty bizarre metaphor.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=628665833 Bill Santagata

            It’s the expression “re-inventing the wheel.” But it has to do with biology…so they’re re-inventing the biological wheel. Not very clever. :-/

  • Gwydion Frost

    I suppose the scientific fact that one can take two human eggs, smash them together, and create a daughter from the two donor mothers without a man ever being involved at all is a biological wheel that the OMM never learned about, due to it being icky science and all that.

    • http://twitter.com/KevinSagui Kevin Sagui

      Wait, that’s possible?  Seriously?

      You learn something new every day.

      • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

        It probably is not possible with humans but we have done it with mice.

        http://www.wonderquest.com/female-fertilization.htm 

        That’s from 2002.  Anyone have any newer info?

      • amycas

         I think it’s plausible, but I don’t know of anyone actually doing it or succeeding if they tried.

      • http://annainca.blogspot.com/ Anna

        Could probably happen in the future, although as of right now the only way for two women to have a biological child together is for one woman to provide the egg, and the other woman to carry the baby. It’s actually a fairly popular method for lesbian couples who have the means to afford it.

  • TiltedHorizon

    48,488 members calling themselves ‘One Million Moms’?  Talk about delusions of grandeur.   Not very bright either, this whole biological wheel argument falls completely flat. You would think that 1 of the 48,488 would realize that something which CANNOT truly be done will put a stop to itself.

    IMHO, I think they watched the trailer and heard the lead explain how, “A Family is a Family and Love is Love” and they, for a brief second, realized the weight of that simple explanation; It rings true. Which of course means…  silence it.

    • http://www.aquaticape.org/ anthrosciguy

      It adds up correctly once you add in the voices in their heads.

    • Stev84

      That’s 48000 friends on facebook. In reality, it’s probably a dozen active members at most

      • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

        Or 952000 who don’t use Facebook because Mark Zuckerberg is an atheist.

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    From their comment section on FB: 

    Linda Davis If you are boycotting Chick-Fil-A on this issue, then you are boycotting God also.

    And then there are a lot of these…

    Doris Jackson-Ireland Hate the sin, but love the sinner.
    Mary Dorsey I love the person, not the sin.
    Chrissy Oneil Love the people hate the sin.

    And then we have this awesome comment…

    Cindy Stiles Foster Where is the love or respect from gays toward Christian values?

    And there is a lot more for your head shaking enjoyment.

    • Onamission5

      God eats more chicken?

      You learn something new every day.

    • http://gloomcookie613.tumblr.com GloomCookie613

      ” If you are boycotting Chick-Fil-A on this issue, then you are boycotting God also.”

      LOL, Linda needn’t worry, I was boycotting “god” long before the Chick-Fil-A bruhaha.

  • Guest

    Since it’s clear and obvious that we are a thousand times better off than we were in days past, I can’t possibly see what they are worried about.  Just scan the country and look at our young people – it’s clear they are happier, better adjusted, better off, more stable, and overall at a level of self fulfillment never before achieved.  So clearly shows that teach young people to define their own reality around morals centered exclusively on themselves as the prime importance must be doing some good.

    • Sindigo

      You’re absolutely right.

    • Coyotenose

       Good on you for learning something today.

      Or for being such an utter failure at sarcasm that you have to toss out falsehoods and logical fallacies in order to even attempt said sarcasm, whichever.

    • http://annainca.blogspot.com/ Anna

      Sarcasm: you’re doing it wrong.

  • Fargofan

    By calling this an attempt to “recreate the biological wheel,” they imply that the whole purpose of a family is to make babies.

    Do they also complain about straight couples who choose not to have kids? Or straight couples where the wife is postmenopausal or the husband has a vasectomy? No, never.

    • Onamission5

      Or straight couples who are infertile so they adopt, use a donor, or a surrogate, or single people who procreate/become parents through means other than straight missionary sex. The biological wheel was recreated the second modern medicine got ahold of it. Used to be, part of the biological wheel was for women to die in childbirth, to have multiple miscarriages and a host of other problems because of rh incompatibility, to die from sepsis or rupture due to etopic pregnancy, and so forth. I guess improving the biological wheel is okay if one is teh straight married kind of people, but not if one is any of the many other kinds.

    • allein

      Never mind that attraction is biological in the first place.

  • Scott K.

    Someone over at Joe My God called them “One Miserable Mom.”  Thought I would pass that on as I found it funny…

    • unclemike

       Nice to see another JMG fan over here :-)

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke, orphan

        /raises hand

      • Baby_Raptor

        Me! 

  • Dan Linford

    Ugh…. What will they come up with to complain about next???

  • Gunstargreen

    Is this new to them? Where were they when ABC premiered Modern Family three years ago?

  • Alchemist

    It amazes me that the women of OMM can find the time to “mother” their children. What with the hating and the wrath and all.
    Really, have these bigoted, ignorant and hateful women nothing better to do with their time?
    Of course, you can tell these women are christians by their love! By their love, I tell you!

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    Huh. Might just have to give it a watch.

    • 3lemenope

      Right? Sometimes, if the right person complains about something, it’s almost a guarantee of quality.

      • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

        I’m looking forward to it, now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dharmaworks David Benjamin Patton

    “watch-Chihuahua”  Guffaw, Guffaw! 

  • http://gloomcookie613.tumblr.com GloomCookie613

    We should really get the Not-Quite-Actually-No-Where-Near-a-Million-Moms some remotes.  That way they could, I dunno, maybe change the channel on their TV and put something else on? 

    I don’t like the Inspiration Network or other programming of its kind, but you don’t see me throwing a fit to the cable company, I just change the channel.  You know, like a grown up.

    • Kodie

      I hazard to guess the protest is mainly for the appropriation of the term “Normal” to describe something they believe is not. Just like how they appropriate terms like “Family,” “Freedom,” “Marriage,” and etc., even “Life.” You could make a long list out of all the concepts that one narrow vision of society has taken to mean their thing and not any other thing it could otherwise apply to, and how you know when you see those words, you know that it is most likely attached to an organization that upholds bigotry and ignorance and a concerted effort to not only stay that way, but force everyone else to see it their way. So if you oppose them, they contend that you are against families, freedom, marriage, or life. They can’t have anyone accepting a gay couple adopting a child from a surrogate is “Normal”, maybe because they forgot to trademark “Normal” to only refer to close-minded biblical Christian values.

      But yeah, change the channel if you don’t like it.

  • Annie

    I have to say, my life has gotten a lot easier since Westboro Baptist Church and OMM came on the scene.  I can just glance at who they hate and know I would probably like those people, businesses and programs.  I hadn’t heard of “The New Normal”, but now I’m looking forward to watching it with my family (impressionable child included).

  • ck03

    I don’t know if they understand how much they motivate me support these companies and shows that they keep trying to boycott… Companies are now probably striving to do something that pisses these “one million” (or 40,000… whatever # they want to pull out of their asses) moms off.  It is now just good publicity.

  • Jphilipdaniel W

    Wow the new normal is…a white family…I guess they can only address one “normal” at a time *sigh*

    • http://annainca.blogspot.com/ Anna

      To be fair, there have been several other gay families of color on television: The L Word, Noah’s Arc, Six Feet UnderModern Family, Glee, etc. It’s not like all of the previous examples have been white.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ORRVVC5R2QWLTXEM6SX5L6BORE Jay Arrrr

    “Millions of Americans strongly believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman.”

    And hundreds of millions of Americans go “YAWN!”

  • alt+3

    I’d almost like to watch that program just so I can buy one product from every company that advertises with that show, just to spite OMM. But with my luck one of the commercials is going to be for Boeing or something.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Scoggin/100000044792747 Aaron Scoggin

    If not for OMM, I would have never even heard of the show. Thanks to them, I just might see if I can find it on Hulu or something and give them my viewership. Thanks, OMM!

  • Tainda

    They are a shame to all of the smart moms out there who teach their children tolerance and acceptance of all the differences in the world.  (points at herself)

    And as the person below me said, I’ve never heard of this show until now, you can bet I’m gonna watch it!  I rarely watch anything that isn’t on HBO.  Thanks, Omm nom nom nom!!!!

  • http://annainca.blogspot.com/ Anna

    These things are harmful to our society, and this program is damaging to our culture.

    *Citation needed.*

  • Mattixr

    I think it’s sad when the One million moms write something on fb and u r not allowed 2 reply 2 it.  But i could swear that this is a free country and everybody and anybody can say and write how they feel about anything, i guess it dosen’t apply 2 one million moms. I even went 2 there website and u can’t even write a comment on their page, unless u agree with what they do and if u give them money.  Well i will say this i am a big supporter of JCP and Ellen D and i will keep shopping at JCP anytime i want and when i want.  i will shop there today!!!! God Bless JCP and Ellen D.  Moms don’t forget Jesus died 4 all of us and i also am a Christian and proud of it, because i use it in the right way the way he would wanted us too.  Robin Mattix

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      Part of being a free country is that you don’t have to listen to someone, or give them a platform.  You can start your own FB page.  Or FB could at their discretion decide to ban you OR the moms.  All we are guaranteed is that government will not restrict our speech.


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