Walk to Cure Gayness

Maybe we should be happy that it’s Catholics and not evangelical Christians trying to take over all the hospitals

“Today’s walk marks another important step in our continuing battle to make gayness a thing of the past,” said hospital president Kenneth P. Strickland, who like many in attendance was wearing a gray ex-gay-awareness ribbon. “Thanks to the groundbreaking research these events make possible, perhaps in 10 or 15 years people who realize they’re attracted to members of their own gender can have a shot at leading long, heterosexual lives in the eyes of God.”

It’s funny because that’s how some of them really think…

(via The Onion)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

    It may be from the Onion, but I wouldn’t be surprised if something like this really happened.

  • Anon

    Perhaps in 10 or 15 years people who realise they’re being grade-A fuckheads in the name of an imaginary being can have a shot at leading long, unbigoted lives free of persecuting other people in the eyes of sane and reasonable people.

    I don’t need to be cured. You need to be less homophobic.

  • Towebster

    You might want to be careful cause someone is going to believe that this is true.

    • LesterBallard

      Because it easily could be true.

  • anon

    Going to have to bookmark this one to come back and read all the comments of people who think it’s real!

  • edgar ayala

    Poe’s Law in full effect.

  • Reality

    This post is from the onion. IT IS FAKE.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jadelackey Jade Lackey

    I know The Oinion is my trusted news source!

  • Leibnizian Christian

    If the sides were switched and Christians were pro-gay, the atheists would be against gays.  I wonder how many of these atheists only take political views just to go against Christianity.

    It’s simple really, Christians determine what political viewpoints the *majority* of atheists will be for.  

    Ironic isn’t it, so who are the sheep again?

    • Jasmyn

      From someone who worships a shepherd? You can’t be serious.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Buchy/542338898 James Buchy

       Give your head a shake, then shake it again. NO atheist out there, that I ever heard of, has a knee-jerk negative reaction to everything christian.  I have met a few homophobic atheists out there and I have no more use for them than I do for evangelical homophobes.

    • http://religiouscomics.net/ Jeff P

      Christians like apple pie and so do I.  So much for your theory.

      • RobMcCune

        I’m pretty sure he hates it now, his hatred of atheists makes his theory unfalsifiable.

    • http://aboutkitty.blogspot.com/ Cat’s Staff

      I don’t think so.  There are plenty of things Christians do that atheists don’t have an opinion about.  If Christians were simply homophobic (which some will probably be for the next century or two) and not trying to enshrine their beliefs in law or act on their homophobia, then it wouldn’t be any of our business.

    • Patterrssonn

      Well let’s try it then, let’s ” switch places”. How about Christians stop being anti-gay bigot scumbags and then we see what atheists do.

    • Baby_Raptor

      Nobody gives that much of a damn about Christianity that they’re going to take an opinion simply because christianists think the opposite. We don’t think that highly of you. In fact, the only reason we think of you at all is because your side consistently shits on us.

      But, please. Don’t let facts get in the way of your mental masturbation. 

    • LesterBallard

      Asshole.

    • RobMcCune

      You keep tellin yourself that.

    • JohnnieCanuck

      Sheep? You probably don’t want to know what those Bishop’s hooks called croziers were modeled on, then. Nor why they make them with a point at the bottom.

      How many clues can we find for you?

      Pastor.
      Lamb of God.
      Blood of the Lamb.
      Flock.
      Parable of the lost sheep.
      The Lord is my shepherd [...].

      What they seem not to mention is the part where shepherds eat mutton and have sheepskin clothes. Most of their animals do not long survive being sold at market.

      You know what really grinds my molars? Oblivious apologists projecting their own flaws back onto their critics. It’s sort of like throwing their arrows back at the bowmen who shot them.

      • Stev84

         They also did other things with their sheep…

        • amycas

           I built that bridge over there, and nobody calls me a bridge builder, but you fuck just one sheep…

    • Miss_Beara

       This here makes no sense.

    • Matto the Hun

      Like remember that time when the Bible was being to justify slaver since it completely condones it and says nothing against it? And then after Pres. Lincoln said fuck that shit and fought some dudes and won and slavery ended. And then abolitionist Christians nit picked the nice sounding things in their Bibles to pretend it was always against slavery and the atheists were all “Oh no you didn’t! We like slavery now!”

      Or that other time when we went to the Creation Museum and we were all, “Yeah, EVOLUTION fuckers!” But then another time we went to a lecture by Francis Collins and he was all “I’m totes Christian, and like evolution is true and stuff… human genome!” And we were all “Talking snake, magic garden, rib lady, seven day creation moron. Evolutions just a theory or some shit!”

      And just recently when the Pope finally decided condoms were okay after all, and the atheist community got together and said “Bare back and pull out! It’s the only way to be safe!”

      Yup, guess you’re right

      • Liberated Liberal

        All I can say this late at night, is THANK YOU.  Awesome :).

    • AxeGrrl

      If the sides were switched and Christians were pro-gay, the atheists would be against gays.

      Yeah, our support for love and equality is utterly capricious  *rolling eyes*

      *hoping your comment was written by the Onion too*

    • Tainda

      Yeah, cause atheists are all about exclusion and fear of people that are different than us.

      Oh wait…

    • amycas

       I know plenty of Christians who are pro-gay and don’t think it’s a sin. I’m still “pro-gay.” I don’t decide who I think should get civil rights based on what you think my enemies think.

    • onamission5

      I don’t have a single christian friend who is anti-gay. Some of my christian friends and relatives do in fact identify as LGBTQI themselves! Shocking to you, I’m sure, but that’s what you get when you build straw people.

    • RobertoTheChi

      It should hurt to be so fucking stupid…

  • CoboWowbo

    Whew! Glad to see it’s only The Onion…

  • Patterrssonn

    I can easily a fundie mistaking it for a true article and organizing their own marches.

  • http://www.facebook.com/agni.ashwin Agni Ashwin

    There’s an App for that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joequincy Jon Peterson

    I feel really awful for those “survivors” who are parading out there. I can’t imagine the guilt and shame being forced upon them. :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/don.gwinn Don Gwinn

    Somebody’s going to send this to some very serious evangelist who will look at it and think, “I can’t believe they’re so arrogant and flippant!  That’s not how we’d do it at all, anyway.  In fact . . . . ”
    And that’s how the first real Walk to Cure Gayness will be born. It’ll be called a “Freedom 5K” and people will march in “I’M FREE” t-shirts, pink for the women and blue for the men.  Marchers will be paired up with opposite-sex “partners” for the walk.

    Sign distribution will be roughly as follows:
    50% will carry “I’M FREE and AMERICA CAN BE TOO!” placards.
    40% will carry “I BELIEVE IN BIBLICAL MARRIAGE!  NO ON PROP ____” signs.
    Fully 10% will carry “FREEDOM WALK AGAINST ANTI-RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY” signs.  
    The irony will not harm them; they don’t suffer its effects, they’re just carriers.

  • Miss_Beara

    At first I thought this was real. Then I scrolled down.

    Phew, The Onion. :)

  • Herjulia

    Hemant…really surprised at you on this one….

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Hemant Mehta

      Why?!

      • amycas

         I don’t think a lot of people saw that you linked it from The Onion, so they think that you think it’s real.

        • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Hemant Mehta

          Ah. That’s the fun part! :) Let them figure it out.

          • Shuteme

            I was out raged as I read this, because it could so be true. The Onion got me again.

  • Sarah

    Up until about 0:52 this video was disturbingly believable…

  • http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/ Andrew Hall

    The Onion does a good job at winking to the audience by placing their logo on immeidately.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    Is it wrong that I see this as a really funny tongue-in-cheek way to raise money for LGBT groups?

    Have to add I thought that it was for real until I saw the Onion link. 


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