Bryan Fischer is Todd Akin’s Knight In Shining Armor

Readers, friends, let’s talk.  With all of this talk about what is and isn’t a “legitimate” rape, I think we’ve lost sight of who the real victim is:

Todd Akin.

I mean the poor guy has one slip of the tongue, and the whole country’s all over him!

Wait… wait hold on, I’m sorry. I got that wrong.  Akin actually has quite a history of douche-baggery, and his comments are not only infuriating, but they speak to the larger, nationwide issue of men who are making laws from an uneducated and callous position.

But don’t you worry!  He’s got a buddy in his horrible, bigoted corner!

Religious Right leader Bryan Fischer is here to save the day!

On Tuesday, Fischer went on his show Focal Point to discuss his poor, poor buddy Todd:

Dennis Prager wants him out, Charles Krauthammer wants him out, Hugh Hewitt wants him out, Ann Coulter wants him out, The National Review editorial board wants him out, The Wall Street Journal editorial board wants him out, the Tea Party Express wants him out.  So virtually nobody other than The Family Research Council and yours truly — even Rush apparently now is out saying he oughta step aside – so everybody is gang tackling Todd Akin.

You talk about a forcible situation. You talk about somebody being a victim of kind of forcible assault… that would be Todd Akin.

Yeah!  You know what’s worse than a man assaulting you, forcibly inserting his penis into you, and leaving you pregnant and traumatized, while a bunch of men imply that you must have really wanted to get fucked because otherwise your body’s magical, anti-pregnancy elves would have kicked into action?  

All of your GOP friends being mean to you!  Can you imagine?  Even Rush isn’t on your side anymore!  The horror!

But this is a mindless, it is a freakish, it is a frenzied forcible assault [Editor's Note: Remember that phrase from our last encounter?!] on one of their own!  Not only by the GOP Poobahs, but also by their allies in the conservative punditocracy.   And they’re just gonna hand this thing over to Claire McCaskill.  

I submit to you that if Todd Akin loses this race, it’s not gonna be his fault, it’s going to be the fault of the Republican Party elites and their surprising allies in the conservative punditocracy. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am in Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity.  

Now Akin has been pilloried by members of his own party for suggesting that, in cases of forcible rape, the trauma of the event might interfere with conception. Now, unfortunately for the nattering nabobs of negativism who have dog-piled Todd Akin, it turns out that the London Daily Mail has a story today.

“Stress can make women infertile, research has revealed.  Scientists have found that those with high levels of stress hormone stop ovulating and therefore are unable to conceive.”  

Now The Mail article goes on: “The research was presented yesterday at the Annual Conference of the European Society for Human Reproduction and Embryology in Prauge.”  

Now I’m going with Todd Akin on this one, I’m going with the European Society for Human Reproduction.  How ’bout you?  How ’bout you, Sean Hannity?  How ’bout you, Rush Limbaugh?  How ’bout you, Mark Levin?  How ’bout you, Sarah Palin? Are you going to side with Todd Akin and modern science?

Or are you going to side with the jackals who are trying to put Akin out of the Democrats’ misery.

I don’t even know where to begin.  I’m not even sure if it’s worth deconstructing his “argument.”  Here’s the article that he was referencing, if you’re interested.  Reading it, it seems to me that the study found that women with a long-term pattern of stress in their lives had trouble conceiving, and I’m not comfortable applying that to the present conversation.  Regardless, 31,000 pregnancies happen as a result of rape every year, so it appears that Fischer is calling 31,000 women per year liars (which, if we’re being honest with ourselves, he might be).

This guy is just the worst.

In fact, it’s taking all of my professional control to not put up a picture of him with devil horns crudely drawn onto a screen grab…

Oh, what the heck.

Hey there, low road! I haven’t seen you in a while!

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Rich Stage

    Some things leave your mouth agape.
    The bottom of barrels they’ll scrape.
    It’s not a surprise
    that Akin’s allies
    defend his definition of rape.

  • amycas

    “Hey there low road I haven’t seen you in a while”

    Lol, I think I love* you Jessica

    *in a platonic, person who likes reading blogs that make a good point and are funny kind of way, not in the creepy stalkerish kind of way.

  • jdm8

    It’s always a tough call, but I wonder if it’s best if we start ignoring this Fischer asshat. I never would have heard of him if it weren’t for this blog. Even other fellow extreme radio hosts disagree with him on this topic.

    Akin isn’t one to be ignored though, given that he still had enough votes after his debacle, even if he doesn’t have the big funding anymore.

  • Julie Lada

    Does Fischer think that women are induced ovulators? More idiocy and anatomy fail from old white dudes.

  • Nazani14

    found that those with high levels of stress hormone stop ovulating and therefore are unable to conceive.”  
    Yeah, and it takes months for that to happen, unlike a rape.  So, Fischer’s even dumber than Mr. Akin, who slept through his 8th grade ‘hygiene’ class; he can’t tell the difference between a clock and a calender.

  • Blz Bob1971

    What happens if ovulation occurs before the rape? Does the study say anything about that? Last time I checked up on how the human body worked, ovulation takes a little bit of time and the egg must move from one location to another. 

  • spinkham

    It’s not just Fischer, Huckabee has supported him too in an email sent out to his followers this morning that someone helpfully uploaded to pastebin.

  • b33bl3br0x

    Just a minor formatting issue here it appears that you forgot to close your bolding in emphasizing the quote in the last section.  It seems to have turned the text on the rest of the front page to bold.

    Could just be my browser but all the rest of the posts on the front page for me are now in bold.

  • Jeff P

    I think what Fischer meant to say was the following:

    “Research has shown that a baby factory put under chronic stress will start to malfunction in its God-given task to produce viable eggs fit for fertilization.  If a baby factory that is just about ready to ovulate is put under traumatic stress, then we speculate there might be some decrease in its ability to perform the God-given task of ovulation.  Even if this decrease is only tiny, and the ovulation occurs or if the ovulation had already occurred before the time of the stress induction and fertilization ensued, then the baby factory should be required with no exceptions to carry out its God-given task throughout the next 9 months.”

  • CultOfReason

     I noticed the same thing, so it’s not your browser.

  • C Peterson

    The thing is, so what if traumatic rape does actually produce fewer pregnancies? Sure, there’s no evidence this is the case, and it’s disturbing that anybody would support a politician who says things that are unsupported (but what’s new about that?) But why get focused on a stupid factual error? The real insult here, the truly insufferable view, is that such a hypothetical medical oddity should have any meaning at all from a legal standpoint, that it could be used to justify anything. The insufferable view is that Akin is in a better position to judge the “legitimacy” of a pregnancy than a pregnant woman is. And finally, that any high profile supporters of this idiot could be found at all. (Frankly, I was astonished on the day he spewed his crap to read that the National Republican Party had withdrawn campaign support, since I honestly didn’t think there was anything a Republican could do that was reprehensible enough for that… well, except for supporting women’s rights, or maybe being caught with an underage boy.)

  • Hemant Mehta


  • Barry Taylor

    While you were editing the picture, you should have edited the “Focal Point” logo to read “Fecal Point”.

  • amycas

     I noticed that too, and thought maybe it was just to emphasize the rest of the post.

  • CelticWhisper

    There once was a man named Todd Akin.
    So offensive he must have been fakin’.
    Turns out they were true,
    His disgusting views,
    And now all the headlines he’s makin’.

  • Gus Snarp

    Of course they’re all turning against him. If this were a simple gaffe, as he keeps claiming, then they could defend him. If he were revealing Randian selfishness, they’d agree as well. But what he’s done is reveal their real anti-woman ideology, so they’ve got to drop him like a hot rock and pretend that the thinking he expressed isn’t what’s behind every piece of anti-abortion legislation they support, because they know that it’s just too damn odious to be accepted by anyone but the most extreme religious fundamentalists. Meanwhile, they need the support of those fundamentalists, but they also need a lot more votes than that to win the White House, and they’re no fools strategically.

  • pagansister

    Akin’s huge diseased foot in mouth statement will eventually die down, and unfortunately peoples memories are short.   Whether he stays in the race or leaves, most folks (except those who are really strongly into politics) won’t notice, IMO.    It may be brought up periodically before November, but not be as huge a subject as it is now.    

  • RobMcCune

    Fischer is the embodiment of the willfully ignorant, dogmatic authoritarian, vindictive, and malicious strain right wing ideologue. His implication that Todd Akin is the real rape victim (of gang umm… “tackling”) is despicable. The idea that someone could advocate his pro-life position in the wrong way is so abhorrent to him he will double down on vile to keep the thought out of his head.

    “…to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee” is how Fischer responds to the idea that he temper his ideology with compassion. It is utterly depressing that he has any political clout at all.

  • Patterrssonn

    He failed to polish the turd.

  • No

    Bryan Fischer is the worst of the worst. Any right-wing name under attack in the media for saying something really stupid/awful/bigoted/etc.? He’s immediately in their corner. Fischer chooses to be a waste of space. These guys hold opinions of themselves that they’re some edgy, mold-breaking contrarian with an uncommon point of view. 

    They’re also colossal cynics when it comes to the use of terms. Ya. Akin was raped by the media. Thanks for making the situation worse. Getting criticized for being a complete douche for pushing “forcible rape” and “legitimate rape” nonsense is magically equivalent to being attacked in a violent sexual manner that leaves one scarred mentally and physically.

    I’d say losers like Akin and Fischer were adding misogyny to their list of reasons to be ignored summarily, but then, those characteristics were there to begin with; they merely expressed them. 

    And yet these people claim we’re not mere animals, and then go on to act like it.

  • Michael

    Looking again at the underlying claim I just noticed a chilling conclusion you could draw if you believed this idiocy.

    Think about it. Rape as contraception.

    If a married man wants sex, he can have sex with his wife and maybe make her pregnant, or he can grab someone off the street secure in the knowledge that she won’t get pregnant if he rapes her.

    I’m glad that the underlying claim that rape doesn’t cause pregnancy is so easily debunked.

  • The Other Weirdo

    nationwide issue of men who are making laws from an uneducated and callous position.

    Unless you’ve got evidence that no female politician has ever supported or voted for this sort of thing, and that no woman has ever knowingly voted for a male politician like this, replacing the word men with the word politicians would significantly improve this article.

    Otherwise it’s like those anti-piracy ads they put on in movie theatres: completely misdirected as the people watching the movie actually paid for it.

  • Edmond

    I don’t think it’s a tough call at all.  These people don’t just “go away” if you ignore them.  You simply wouldn’t know what they were up to.  It’s dangerous to let them operate in darkness.  It’s MUCH more important to stay vigilant, even at the expense of giving them a voice.  If they ARE given a voice, eventually they’re going to SAY crap like this, out loud for the world to hear, and that can be a very good thing.

  • northierthanthou

    Rats traveling in the same sewers.

  • Margaret Whitestone

     I’m surprised Bryan was able to use the word “science” without combusting.

  • wmdkitty

     Mmm… ‘cept for the fact that most politicians are… MEN!

  • Stev84

    They’re just pissed that he dared to say out loud what most of them think when they know it’s an unpopular position

  • Gus Snarp

    Yeah, that was what I was trying to say. Brevity is indeed the soul of wit.