Michele Bachmann Spies with Her Little Eye… ‘a Spiritual Hurricane’!

On Sunday, Michele Bachmann spoke at a conservative rally in Florida, and it looks like she’s venturing back into the “national disasters as political commentary” area.

You may remember last year when Bachmann made some controversial comments regarding Hurricane Irene and the East Coast earthquake:

 I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said: “Are you going to start listening to me here?”

NEVER FORGET the extent of God’s wrath.

Bachmann’s camp later assured us that her comments were made “in jest,” because nothing gets yuks like implying that a fiscally liberal White House causes natural disasters!  Classic Bachmann!

This past Sunday, Bachmann returned to her weather rhetoric (weather-ic?) and it looks like she has discovered the art of the metaphor:

At this moment in time we’re quite literally looking at a hurricane here in Florida. We’re looking at a political hurricane in this country. We are looking at a spiritual hurricane in our land. And it is time for each one of us to show up and suit up and stand up and realize that in this time and in this day we pour it out for Him.

Once again, the GOP reminds us that they are God’s Own Party.  A vote for the Right is a vote for Jesus!

“Oh see those storm clouds moving in? That means that God thinks that the Bush era tax cuts should be extended!”

Thanks for interpreting weather patterns for us, Bachmann!

I have some tea leaves that you can look at next, if you’re not too busy.

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • http://www.everydayintheparkwithgeorge.com/ Matt E

    Bachmann is right. God has sent a hurricane to Florida to disrupt the Republican convention because he is angry at Americans for voting Republican. It’s as plain as day.

    • Annie

       Ah, and if Isaac went across Tampa (which it looks like it won’t), the religious republicans would find a way to spin it into a sign that God is on their side.  The beauty of bullshit is that you can shape it into anything you please.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=540812062 Taylor Wright

     Bachmann and her constituents are NOT Republicans, they’re radical Christian fundamentalists

    • jdm8

      Christianists are a major part of the GOP’s constituent base. Clearly not all of it, but they’re still a significant influence in the Republican party.

      • RobertoTheChi

        There is a large number of Republicans that are fiscally conservative and are not in any way religious and hate that the asshole religious wrong has such a stranglehold on the party. Religion ruins everything!

    • Coyotenose

       They’re both, actually.

    • Donalbain

       The question is, are they Scotsmen?

    • RobMcCune

      Which party elects all those christian fundamentalists again? Oh right, the republicans. If the nuts took over the nuthouse you have only yourselves to blame.

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    That sad part, at least for me is she is a very intelligent woman. She is not an idiot but the things that come out of her mouth make her sound as if she is one.

    • farnsworth

      What leads you to the conclusion that “she is a very intelligent woman”?

      • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

        Have you never looked into her educational background?

        • Kari Lynn

          Education does not equal intellegence. I’ve met some of the stupidest people in classes at my university.

          • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

            I dislike her a lot but for anyone to state she is not an intelligent woman is only fooling their self.

            • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6OE7LEYELE4MZTVXGZUSVTBFUI julie

              I think a lot of people can be book smart while still lacking in critical thinking.
              I have always been decently smart, but the critical thinking took a long time to get here. I used to believe some crazy things…

              • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

                So years ago I could have called you an idiot then?

                • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6OE7LEYELE4MZTVXGZUSVTBFUI julie

                  Yeah, probably.

          • IndyFitz

             THANK YOU.  I’ve been saying that for years.  People seem to think that if you go to college, that makes you smart.  I’ve known a lot of idiots with college degrees.  Most of college is like most of high school: You pass because you memorize crap and test out well.  More essay questions and term papers, I say!  None of this multiple-choice crap.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1351473675 Matthew Baker

          Oral Roberts University doesn’t instill any confidence in that education

          • jdm8

            Agreed on that one, but The College of William and Mary is very good. I get the impression that they don’t let dunces in.

            What that makes her with the batty comments she often makes, I don’t know. I think there may be a lot of factors at play. She might have strong very cognitive dissonance, ideologically warped, programmed, and she may be putting on an act as well. Sometimes I wonder if Republican women feel they have to play dumb to be accepted. Witness how Gretchen Carlson pretends to be dumb on Fox and Friends when she was valedictorian at high school and graduated cum laude at Stanford.

        • farnsworth

          I live in Tulsa.  I know everything I need to know about ORU.  ORU does NOT indicate intelligence, rather the opposite.

    • Coyotenose

      Lots of paranoid, fundamentalist neo-McCarthyites are technically intelligent, but their issues make them very stupid people.

    • onamission5

      I tend to agree with you, Kevin. I think she, like most of the mouthpieces and behind the scenes actors in this 30 year long GoP charade, knows exactly both what she’s doing and why she’s doing it.  Slight of hand takes skill. I’ve not yet met a skilled manipulator who was stupid. Assholish, yes, stupid, no. I think the goal of her ilk is clear: dazzle them with stuningly oblivious BS and the US population won’t feel that knife until it’s too late.

  • LesterBallard

    Not her little eye; it’s her little brain that is the problem.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

      Why do people such as yourself think she is a complete idiot that has a small brain? She is a very intelligent woman. Just like the Phelps clan, they are not dumb people.

      • LesterBallard

        It was a joke; lighten the fuck up.

        • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

          No, it was not a joke. You truly think she has a little brain. You can try to back pedal but you where not joking.

          • LesterBallard

            No, I think she’s a fucking fundie shit stain

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/KIDZFDXNIVYSUSZBZDUJIQD3II Exploerer

             You don’t get it. I think her words and actions are morally reprehensible and she has the ethics of a rabid weasel.

            Calling her stupid was a kindness.

          • RobMcCune

            Given the numerous dumb things she said, it’s hard to believe it is all an act. However, I personally believe that the differences that cause this are due to her brain’s structure as opposed to it’s physical size.

      • Coyotenose

         Well, we know with certainty that her amygdala is quite bloated, at least.

        • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

          Erm… what does her amygdala have to do with this?

          (Dammit, Firefox, amygdala is SO TOTALLY A WORD!)

          • http://www.facebook.com/gwydionfrost Daniel Parker

            Don’t feel bad… Google Chrome doesn’t even suggest words for some of the more ambitious words I attempt at times.

  • Justin Miyundees

    What did she say?  We whore it out for Him?  I listened to it three times.  Is that what she says?

    • Justin Miyundees

      Ok – “pour” – it makes more sense the other way, but yes, she says “pour”.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

    Worshiping the Weather God is so… Ancient Greek.

    Agamemnon, the commander of the Greek army couldn’t set sail to attack Troy because he’d somehow pissed off the goddess Artemis, who kept the wind from blowing. Only when he sacrificed his daughter to appease the goddess did he get a fair wind.

    Christians who attribute natural disasters to Yahweh’s favor or disfavor don’t seem to realize how pagan they’re being.

    They’re duplicitous as well. When nature kicks the ass of somebody they don’t like, it’s all about God smiting. But when the exact same thing happens to one of their friends, it’s a “natural disaster.”

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      I’d rather deal with the pantheons than the monotheistic gods. At least with the pantheons, you have a chance of striking a bargain (or you can go to a different god if your needs aren’t being met.)

      • Michael

        Pantheons at least have an excuse for why they didn’t make the world perfectly. In fact the world looks very much like the kind of mess usually designed by a committee. Hmm…

        • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

          LOL, I know, right?

        • http://www.facebook.com/gwydionfrost Daniel Parker

          Say…. you might be onto something here.

          A Pasta Pantheon.

          Okies, so… besides the Flying Spaghetti Monster, we also have the Macaroni Mass? The Egg Noodle Head?

          • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/FDGYHBEWVNGUG763L5X4TON3JQ Nazani14

            The Soba Satyr.

            • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

              *snork*

              Well played!

              Our Lady of Lasagne?

              • Michael

                Hemant should be a god in there somewhere, just for the irony.

  • Fargofan

    Who else thought of “There’s a storm gathering…”

  • Kari Lynn

    “And it is time for each one of us to show up and suit up and stand up and realize that in this time and in this day we pour it out for Him.”

    Oh. My. God. God is Barney Stinson!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mU_Kuelsuo

    In all seriousness, though, Bachmann needs to go away. In fact, can someone tell the whole Tea Party that the grown ups are talking and they should quietly play with their toys?

  • Marco

    Think about it. This woman for a while was among a select group that could have been elected to the most powerful office on the planet. 

    Of course she would not have won. But the fact that she actually run and was among this elite speaks volumes about the state of American politics.

    Also, lately I got in touch with a republican friend I hadn’t seen in a long time. He told me he had been blogging so I went to read his blog: he has become insane. The conspiracy theories on his site (which I won’t link to) are bizarre to say the least. 

    It’s like Bachman, Beck and the rest of the lunatics gave the republican base, even those that at one time were able to think rationally, permission to go crazy and suffer no consequences. Apparently anything goes. And everything is discussed as if its truth is a matter of course.

    Some years ago I became a citizen of the USA after many years as a resident. it was a very proud moment for me, but now I find myself sharing this country with these people and they have stolen patriotism for themselves and they distorted it in ways that made it unrecognizable. 

    Put in front of the same choice, I don’t know that I would choose to become a Citizen right now. At least not until these tea party impostors stop distorting history and let sanity back into politics. 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/KIDZFDXNIVYSUSZBZDUJIQD3II Exploerer

       Marco, please don’t, we need people like you.

  • http://twitter.com/smokie_monster Smokie

    I totally lost it when I saw the Never Forget banner complete with tipped over lawnchair. I’m just outside Tampa, FL right now and, yeah that’s… pretty much the extent of the damage.

    Anyone else think its funny how much these christian conservatives sound like primitive people suggesting the gods require human sacrifice to an angry volcano? Every time I hear them spout off about natural disaster being “God’s Wrath” I imagine them shaking a ritual hunting spear at the sky and going “Ooga Booga!”

  • David Starner

    The biggest Atlantic hurricane seasons (Atlantic because with the exception of Hawaii and Guam, that’s where US-hitting hurricanes come from) by accumulated cyclonic energy since 1950 were 2005, 1950, 1995, 2004 and 1961. I’m not seeing any pattern there politically speaking–Truman, JFK, Clinton, GWB, GWB–though my inner smartass wants to discard non-duplicates and declare that GWB causes hurricanes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sandy-Kokch/100000074576649 Sandy Kokch

    You are all wrong!

    Hurricane Isaac was sent by the Lord Cthulhu from the sunken city of Ryleh to punish the Republican party for worshiping the false god Jeebus. The GOP must bow down before his terrible wrath and pay penitence for their sins against Great Cthulhu or face his ire! The arch heretic Bachmann must be tied in ropes of sea weed and cast into the waves, there to be devoured by Dagon and his Deep Ones to pay tribute and homage! The Dreaming Lord has spoken!

    Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

    • IndyFitz

      That was awesome. Awesome with lots of tentacles.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gwydionfrost Daniel Parker

      Unsure about the motivations, but the end result sounds good.

  • Marcie

    She makes me embarrassed to be from MN.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/FDGYHBEWVNGUG763L5X4TON3JQ Nazani14

    I just want to say that I’m sick of that graphic pooh-poohing the Mineral earthquake.  Here in VA so many of us suffered extensive property damage, broken gas mains, wells ruined, etc.   Nobody died that I know of, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a big deal.

  • Jake E

    Please don’t use Bachmann against christians… we don’t like her.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6OE7LEYELE4MZTVXGZUSVTBFUI julie

      You might not like her, but she was popular enough to win the Ames Straw Poll. There are lots of Christians who like her and lots more Christians who have very similar views.


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