Christian Pastor: National Geographic? More Like National Pornographic!

Pastor Steven Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona doesn’t think there’s any difference between nudity and pornography. If there’s a naked body in sight, it must be for the purpose of titillation and we must keep it away from the children.

His next target: National Geographic magazine. Or, as he refers to it, National Pornographic. It’s so pornical, the depraved kids treat the naked pictures in it like Playboy centerfolds:

Someone keep Anderson away from the Sistine Chapel before he tries to shut it down for being a strip club.

And NO ONE TELL HIM ABOUT THE INTERNET!

(via The American Jesus)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • Randomfactor

    The Sistine has already been censored.   By an artist forever after known by the Italian nickname translating to “Mr. Underpants.”

  • Sarah

    “… And don’t even get me started on those smutty Disney cartoon! What just because he’s a mouse they can have pictures of him walking around without a shirt on?”

    • Scott

      …and a duck with no pants?  Somebody please think of the children!

      • 0xabad1dea

        A duck with no pants, who wraps a towel around his waist when getting out of the shower

      • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

        A country did ban Donald Duck because he doesn’t wear pants..

  • http://twitter.com/chemikhazi Jeiel Aranal

    Catholics here in the Philippines have been upset, upset I tell you, about a photograph of a saintly figure with an exposed boob breastfeeding an infant: 
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151013067140168&set=a.84382255167.92215.27254475167&type=1&theater

    The upshot of this? The saint is an actual figure in their Catholic ‘pantheon’. Go figure.

    • Marco

      I was raised Catholic and I don’t remember this particular saint.  Who is she? Saint Mary of the Holy Boobies?

      • Santiago

        La virgen de la leche, or Our Lady of the milk and happy delivery

    • amycas

       I think it’s crazy that something as nonsexual as breast feeding would be cause for outrage.

  • Golfie98

    Had to laugh at the knowing which year/month and page – I knew kids were picking up bad habits from learning to quote scripture chapter and verse.

    • Marco

      I do not believe that story even a little bit. Unless it happened sometime in the 80′s. Modern kids know very well where to get their porn and they certainly don’t need NatGeo magazine for their fix.

  • http://twitter.com/SerafineLaveaux Serafine Laveaux

    Better blindfold infants while breastfeeding, lest they see a dirty, dirty boob! Geeze.

    • Golfie98

      I remember reading recently about one puritans outburst at a picture of a less than well clad lady declaring that breasts were for adults only.

      • The Other Weirdo

         Some of the arch-convseratives in Israel were recently throwing poop at school girls who they felt weren’t dressed modestly enough. Which, in their mind, I guess, means just the face and hands visible.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JN4QP4HSRAEJLS36DQ7GI5SC24 Evelyn

          Sounds like the Tea Party.  

    • RobMcCune

      Blindfolds! You free loving liberal, women must be milked in a separate building to avoid contaminating the babies with that sort of smut.

  • John_in_Vegas

    Is it me, or is the evangelical movement really an organization for closeted gay men?

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      Well, at least 
      Jerry Falwell  seemed to be under the impression that if gay marriage was legal that all the men would marry men and the women marry women and there would be no more babies.  So he seemed to think everyone is gay.

      about 3:45 of

      http://player.vimeo.com/video/48621151

      fromhttp://billmoyers.com/content/bill-moyers-on-the-rise-of-the-religious-right/ 

  • jose

    Only very repressed people get turned on by seeing boobs at a topless beach.

    It’s like with small children. If you want to make them obssesed with something, just tell them it’s forbidden and dangerous and they must not go there.

    • Gary

      Totally agree. I grew up in central Europe (Switzerland), our public pools would have shocked the hell out of these people, quite obviously. Seeing naked breasts and *oh the humanity* nipples just wasn’t a big deal to anyone. Most of my classmates at age 12 and above were sunbathing topless there, no biggie. 

      I’ve noticed that compared to most guys I know in the US (where I live now), when talking to a woman, I am actually quite capable of looking her in the eye as opposed to talking to her chest… Pretty certain there’s a correlation there… :-)

      • The Other Weirdo

         Most guys here can, too.

        • BoobOlicious

          Well, unless they are really REALLY nice ta-tas, then all bets are off.

        • Whyme

          Funny how you “guys” are proud of not getting aroused when seeing some boobs. What the hell happened to this country?

          • Guest.

             Not all nudity is sexual.  It is a problem when mere skin is sexualized.  The better route is to focus on behaviour.  

        • amycas

           I beg to differ.

      • Marco

        I grew up in Italy in the 70′s and I don’t recall many women using the top part of their bikinis at the beach.  Family included. It was simply not a big deal and no one was getting aroused. 
        In truth there were plenty of women and a lot of guys that should have covered themselves more (especially the guys in speedos) but it wasn’t a matter of pudor, it was a matter of gravity.

    • No time for ignorance

      Oh, for fu** sake! Really? Only very repressed people get excited by boobs on at a topless beach. What color is the sky inyour demented world? You’re gonna tell me that every guy that ever got turned on by some tits on a beach is very repressed?  I’m a guy. I like boobs. Sometimes I even get a boner when I see boobs. Ergo, I’m repressed. You ever think maybe guys that don’t get sexually aroused when they see boobs might be the ones with the problem? Either you’re gay or just one of the most ignorant humans alive making a blanket statement like that. STFU.

      • eonL5

        Yes. You’re repressed.

      • amycas

         You sound like the kind of person who would freak out if you saw a woman breastfeeding in public. Breasts aren’t inherently sexual. There are many many cultures that don’t sexualize the breasts and nobody bats an eye when a woman goes topless, let alone do they get aroused. If you grew up in America, chances are, you are repressed and have sexualized women’s breasts like the rest of America has. It’s a cultural repression, not a personal repression.

        • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

          Covered table legs in Victorian England.

          Unless the ankles are hairy of course.

  • Pete084

    I’d love to hear what he has to say about nudism! I could invite him to lecture at my nudist club…… or maybe not.

    • Pascale Laviolette

      Interesting!!  What made you want to join the club?  What do you guys do?  Genuinely curious.

  • ORAXX

    Does this guy think he invented the human body and needs to protect his patent?

  • Timothy Michael Short

    The “great” Dr. Dino *Kent Hovind* made the joke, “National Pornographic” 20 years ago.  One would have hoped that the stupidity went to prison with Hovind but apparently, like the spectre in the “Grudge” films, it remains.
    Loved meeting the Friendly Atheist at the Reason Rally!  I can only wonder if he loved my book about Liberty University.  

  • 0xabad1dea

    The older I get, the less I see a meaningful distinction between male and female chests. One typically has more fat than the other, big deal, but people desperately protect their children of any gender from seeing female chests while having no issue with male ones. 

    Some will say it’s because (straight) men get turned on when they see women’s chests.

    a) Implying no woman finds a man’s chest attractive?

    b) And Victorians found exposed ankles positively swoonful. 

    • GrossOut

      Unless the gal has some hairy chested knockers….sorry, if there is enough hair there to floss with, nnnnnnnahhhhhh, I ain’t lookin’.

      • amycas

         Women aren’t hairless dolls. I’m starting to get really annoyed with the weird obsession we have in America with shaving every bit of hair off our bodies. Women must have absolutely no hair (except on the top of their heads) and men are allowed to grow as much disgusting sweaty bush under their arms as they want. Seriously, why is it ok for men and not for women?

        • kellson

          If you want to grow as much disgusting sweaty bush under your arms as
          you want, nobody’s stopping you. But me? I’ll make sure the guys shave
          their pits next time we play poker wearing tube tops.

  • Chip

    Keep him away from the Sistine Chapel? … yeah, that’s Roman Catholic, and we ALL know what they’re about….
      

  • The Captain

    How does any nudity=pornography. Do these people masturbate to everything?!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

      Of course not.  Masturbating makes God cry. They just get turned on and then feel really guilty about it. Then they ask for forgiveness, and everything is ok.

  • nakedanthropologist

    What about crucifixes where Jesus is shown mostly nekkid?  Does that count?  Woo hoo!

    • kellson

      Don’t forget early Christian martyr, Saint Sebastian, pierced with arrows, and saying, “If you leave it in, you will kill me. If  you take it out, I will die.”

      And don’t miss Derek Jarmon’s film Sebastiane, one of the earliest British films to view gay sexuality positively, and the first film ever to be entirely in Latin. Even if blood and bondage is not my thing, a chance to hear Latin spoken is interesting.

      But, then again, as a kid, I grew up with the notion that nude was not naked. To be honest, as a college student, I also once spontaneously ejaculated when the buckle coupled during an airplane seat-belt demonstration.

      When you’ve got click, who needs porno, let alone for everything to be porno?

      • nakedanthropologist

        I think I forgot my sarcasm tag.  This pastor is so incredibly silly I honestly don’t comprehend why people listen.  However, it is interesting to note that most of the art containing Jesus shows him as being attractive and muscular.  I went to the Catholic University of America for my master’s degree (don’t laugh – they have a great anthropology program) and right on campus is the Basillica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception – its enormous, and very intimidating in its grandeur.  A beautiful piece of art. There is a huge mosaic of Christ on the ceiling in the main basillica, and he is very muscular.  Students would comment among themselves that perhaps that representation sometimes sent the wrong signal.

  • vexorian

    Even Jesus said (Or at least a text in the bible claims he did) that it is not the evil in the outside that should worry you but the evil in the inside. Or something like that, my days as a Catholic school student are  long over.

    If these guys really find national geographic pornographic, it is because of the perversion inside their own minds. They probably get turned by anything that moves and barely looks like a boob.

  • Taylormaid

    Anderson is an adherent to the quiverfull philosophy. People who keep an eye on those communities are very familiar with his wife’s blog, which is an incongruent mix of cute kid pics (of their brood of 6, soon to be 7), organic recipes, and virulent hatred. They are racist and consider IVF to be murder.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JN4QP4HSRAEJLS36DQ7GI5SC24 Evelyn

      That seems to be par for the course.  It makes no sense, seriously do these people ever stop and think for even a second?

    • kaydenpat

      Racists too.  Why am I not surprised.  And these are the people claiming that they’re being persecuted.

  • jdm8

    The Sistine Chapel was a Catholic sponsored work. Fundegelicals often hold Catholics and Catholicism in very low regard.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QPVVPRJ7QKLPU6TF5B4IZTENTI No

    This is the same douche that was making threats and imprecatory prayers against the President 3 years ago.

    So this worthless tool is telling his congregation – who are obviously paying to hear this trash – that he supposedly experienced a school where there was a room full of kids that knew exactly where every nude picture in a series of NG issues was. Ya, I call bullsh!t shenanigans. That’s the same sort of crap I head in the 80s when it was the satanism scare and heavy metal music. “Anti-Christ!/Death’s Children!” “They call themselves Poison and dress like trampy women for the love-a-Pete!”

    • Annie

       Well, when I was in the 6th-8th grade, we (the kids) did know which NGs to go to so we could see the nude photos.  It was the highlight of our pathetic little trips to our ill-stocked Catholic school library.  I loved to see the naked pictures of people from all over the world.  Did it turn me into an adult who is addicted to pornography?  No.  But it did help encourage my desire to travel and see as many cultures around the world as I possibly can in my lifetime.  I was amazed that there were people on this planet who had such different rules than my own community… and I wanted to experience them all.  Which, I think is kind of the point of National Geographic. ;-)

  • Ray

    That pastor is one sick puppy. 

  • Anon

    I think ‘pornical’ is my new favourite word.

  • Deven Kale

    Well, he’s halfway right. When I was in school, I remember this exact phenomenon. Kids sitting around, talking about all the naked pictures in National Geographic magazine. There was even some talking about Playboy and Hustler and all the other truly pornographic publications that some of them managed to get hold of. The thing that he’s neglecting to mention is that it was always the same few kids that were talking about this stuff: the perverts. It’s usually less than 20 kids in an entire school of hundreds (mine actually have over 1,000) of kids that do this kind of thing. Otherwise, the majority of the students don’t really care about it all that much and would rather spend their time on classwork or having a real social life. This is just more scare-mongering by the right trying, again, to trick citizens into instituting the Christian version of sharia.

    • OregoniAn

       I was one of “those boys” who would talk with my friends about pictures I saw in every magazine from Cosmopolitan to Nat. Geo. to Playboy when I was 12-14 years old.. Sorry Deven, but neither I nor my friends were remotely “perverts”. It’s called natural curiosity regarding the opposite sex – something we all go through at that age. (and if you’re gay, just switch the gender and you can still follow me..)

      What’s so wrong with that anyway? We’re all wired to be attracted to something.. Oh Dang, wait.. I forgot the biblical shame that must blanket this whole affair.. Better throw on a few more layers.. Honey? Where’s your burka??

      What amuses me most is that these people think that the very sight of something forbidden must surely be pornographic (pornical??) I’ve seen countless mothers nursing, general topless nudity.. Look – unless someone is specifically “coming on” to me it’s simply another human body. And I am merely grateful if said body isn’t so out of shape it scares me.. (fat men with speedos take note.)

      • Octoberfurst

         Growing up in the late 60′s, early 70′s my parents were subscribers to National Geographic and I remember looking forward to getting an issue about Africa because inevitably there would be pictures of bare chested women in there.  Ahh the orgasms I had in the privacy of my room due to that magazine!  Good times! Good times!  It was just a natural thing for a young boy to do. There was nothing obscene about it.

      • Deven Kale

        I would talk about it on occasion too, just like nearly everybody else I knew, women included. Those aren’t the type of kids that I’m talking about because those are, like you said, standard curious kids. Anderson and I are talking about the ones that memorize the exact page number of every single image that appears in NG, and talks about little more than sex and porn.

        He implies that that’s the way nearly every student in public schools behaves, whereas I point out that it’s very few of them that actually do.

  • vegeta

    Isnt this the guy went on a rant about how men should never sit down to pee? Dont give any more internet time to this troll. 

    • HughInAz

      Yes, and he’s also the guy who used to lead his congregation in prayer every Sunday for the murder of Barack Obama.

      • kaydenpat

        Nice fellow.

      • Baby_Raptor

        And he’s not in jail yet? The Secret Service is way too slack.

  • Lori F – MN

    Wonder what his take is on man-boobs?

  • Alex

    Nudity is sinful. Human body is detestable. Children should take their showers fully clothed — actually, forget showering, because they might touch themselves there. Yay for ignorance (and insanitary conditions)!

  • DougI

    National Geographic is educational, therefore it is similar to sinful porn in a fundy’s mind.

  • PJB863

    Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, AZ is also listed as an anti-gay hate group by the SPLC.  Any surprise?

  • Gus Snarp

    Man, where do they get these issues of National Geographic? I never could find one that was in the least bit titillating, and Lord knows I tried. I did much better with ladies clothing catalogs: they may have had their clothes on, but at least they were in sexy poses. Thank goodness I finally found a porn stash in the woods. There’s just nothing sexy about people going about their lives and happening to have their shirts off.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/FDGYHBEWVNGUG763L5X4TON3JQ Nazani14

       Indigenous nudity and semi-nudity was pretty common up through the ’70s, then NG shifted a bit away from anthropology and more towards other science, it seems.  Plus, people started covering up due to “civilized” influences.