Christian Church Capitalizes on ‘Mommy Porn’

You knew this had to happen:

“There’s a great relationship that can be had in marriage, and then there is a sexual relationship between a man and woman that happens within the boundaries of marriage, and God says that that’s good,” explains Russ Bennett, the Lead Pastor with Cornerstone Church.

The church is not condemning people who read the book, but they are taking a stand against the message in ’50 Shades of Grey.’

“God has a different ideal, or idea on sex, on romance and on love,” adds Bennett.

So here’s the story in a nutshell: Fifty Shades of Grey is popular, so a church is going to allude to the title to bring people to a service… in which they talk about why no one should take the messages in the book seriously.

Because if anyone knows about good sex, it’s the people running the anti-birth-control, pro-abstinence, gay-people-kissing-is-icky church.

(via The American Jesus)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • JohnnieCanuck

    And the reason he knows God’s thinking on this matter is that God alway seems to agree with him?

  • http://godlessgirl.com godlessgirl

    As long as kinky sex happens within marriage, it’s cool, right, Christians? 

    • Thelivingwalrus

      I’m one of those rare people that thinks kinky sex should happen. When and where aren’t really important!

  • Andrew Bernhardt

    “God has a different ideal, or idea on sex, on romance and on love,” adds Bennett.

    And we should care why?  God needs to justify his opinions just like everyone else.  He can’t just say “because I said so.”  That’s a bullshit answer.  Until God explains himself, he can go suck an egg.

    • 0xabad1dea

      “Does God mandate something because it is good, or is something good because it’s mandated by God?”

      Dance, theologians, dance! 

      • 3lemenope

        Euthyphro FTW.

      • Agnostic

        Maybe you were given an answer….in one of the many other universes. Obviously, you couldn’t hear.

    • C Peterson

      Imaginary creatures have no ideals or ideas at all. It is the mouthpieces of religion, who pretend to speak for this god, who are expressing their ideas here.

    • Good and Godless

      So go to this church and do not turn down excessive alcohol offered by your daughters and let god’s will prevail.

      Be sure an scream loud enough for someone to hear whilst being raped or risk death due to adultery.

      I will not even conjecture on who parented adam and eve’s grandchildren…

      These people have no precedent for righteousness in sexuality. 

  • http://yetanotheratheist.com/ TerranRich

    How about a first edition of Fifty Shades of Shut the Hell Up! ;)

  • Octoberfurst

     Hey there is only ONE type of sex that Christians are allowed to have! They don’t call it the “Missionary Position” for nothing ya know!  And it should be done in the dark because, after all, seeing someone nude is sinful right?  ~smirk~  

    • Artor

      As terrible as 50 Shades is, it’s still a much better book than the Wholly Babble.

      • d.

         Come, now. From a literary perspective, the Bible has some good things going for it. Yes, there are lists — lots of lists — a mind-numbing amount of lists — but have you ever read Book 2 of the Iliad?

        • The Other Weirdo

           Ignore the lists and genealogies. As far as you are concerned, the lists and genealogies do not exist. So spoke Jesus. He would know, not actually existing himself. Probably.

      • Agnostic

        …so says the babbling rabble.

      • http://www.facebook.com/abb3w Arthur Byrne

        Sorry, but frankly Song of Songs seems a much better piece of literary smut than 50 Shades. Granted, I’m not in the best position to judge here; 50 joins Richard Adams’ “Maia” (also smut) in the rare category of “fiction so bad I could not bear to finish it once starting”.

    • Agnostic

      Being dictatorial? Good for the image.

  • http://www.facebook.com/don.gwinn Don Gwinn

    In their defense, the book does appear to be terrible and no one should be taking advice from it.  I doubt they would say that for the same reasons I do, though, and obviously they won’t miss a chance to make a cynical grab for coattails.

    • Jim_Lahey

      The bible does appear to be terrible also and nobody should be taking advice from it!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001627228091 Alexander Ryan

    Don’t forget anti-frontal hugs. Christian side hug all the way for them.

  • DougI

    That’s why god married Mary before  he impregnated her without her consent.  I wonder how much time in prison a person would get if they followed biblical morality concerning sex.

    • Agnostic

      He told you the reason in another universe and you agreed with him but apparently your spirituality is so weak that you are unable to channel yourself in the other universes.

      • Ouigui

        Perhaps there’s at least one universe out there where Agnostic isn’t a boring, nonsense-spouting troll. It sure as hell ain’t this one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gwydionfrost Daniel Parker

    I’m holding off for “50 Shades of Grape — What Winos say about Merlot, 
    Riesling, and 
    Shiraz”

  • http://mittenatheist.blogspot.com/ Kari Lynn

    They should be talking against 50 Shades of Grey. Not because there is sex outside of marriage in the book, but because it gives a completely inaccurate and unsafe portrayal of BDSM relationships.

    • Jim Henline

      Exactly, this book completely destroys the safe BD/SM experience. Yes there are a million ways it can play out, but no respecting top would EVER force himself on a person, that destroys the relationship.

      • http://mittenatheist.blogspot.com/ Kari Lynn

        ^THIS! These relationships are all about communication and trust. Couples generally have a (sometimes lengthy) discussion beforehand about what is and is not acceptable, and what the other person is comfortable with. It’s not just “Sign a contract, now you are my sex slave! What? Psshhh! Safe words are for noobs!”

        • http://profiles.google.com/julielada Julie Lada

           This comment thread makes my heart happy. <3

          • AnalogousGumdropDecoder

            COMMENT MOVED UPWARD

        • The Other Weirdo

           My safe word is “apples”.

        • AnalogousGumdropDecoder

          Devil’s advocate:

          Is it necessary that fantasy play by the same rules as reality?

  • http://www.facebook.com/gwydionfrost Daniel Parker

    I’m holding off for “50 Shades of Grape: What Winos have to say on Merlot, Riesling, and Shiraz”

    • Agnostic

      …and become so tipsy that you end up in an orgy.

  • Guest

    Yeah, because we know that wonderful message of a few decades ago that said everyone could just take off their clothes and have tons of sex (along with tons of drugs) did so much good.  Especially since all the really smart people with lab coats assure us that the tens of millions who have died of AIDS and millions more infected by a disease spread largely through sex and drug use are merely a cosmic coincidence.  There’s really nothing bad that ever happens if you use condoms.  Some manufactured things fail, but they never do.  And if they do, the odds of it being at a time when you are with someone with AIDS are so small, it’s almost not worth considering.  Yep.  Darn near utopian perfection that sexual revolution got us.  But then, when you believe humans are nothing but glorified animals, your standards can’t help but be pretty low anyway, so a having an ethic based on self-control and self-sacrifice for the sake of others pretty much drops like a stone balloon.  Or, should I say, stoned balloon. 

    • Glasofruix

      You sir, just won the idiot of the minute award.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gwydionfrost Daniel Parker

      You know how you are dealing with the irrational and extremists…? Because they can only cite extremes to make their point. Total abstinence is the solution, because if you even look at a naked body, hello BACCHANAL ORGIES. No offense, “guest”, but guess what…? There’s a LOT of humans having sex, and amazingly enough, without having any STDs to go with it.

    • Jim_Lahey

      I would check the numbers! The vast majority of deaths as a result of aids have and are occurring in Africa, most of which could be prevented by condom use! Of course to a net troll such as yourself ‘those’ people probably rank too low for your attention!

    • Jim Henline

      Care to reply using your real name, or are you to chicken shit to let others know that you are actually this stupid.

    • Earl G.

      Wait, isn’t your camp the one that wants us to only have sex when we’re going to make babies?  That’s how (most) animals treat sex.  I think you are the one who wants us to act like animals.

      • Glasofruix

        Chimps have sex for fun.

        • walkamungus

          “Animals always do it for fun. This is because they are not Catholics.”
          –Cecil Adams, “The Straight Dope”

    • RobMcCune

      Yup, STDs are entirely modern. No one ever heard of them until 50 years ago because they were warded off by christian piety. There couldn’t have been anything like a major outbreak of syphilis long before the modern ideas, during the height of christianity’s domination over society.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_syphilis 

    • Baby_Raptor

      Hey, Guest. Your religion knows nothing of self-control. You teach women that their sole worth is in their ability to make babies. You shame them for showing an ounce of skin. You talk about how “ruined” they are if they have sex before getting the government piece of paper, and how no man will want them. You talk about how women should “dress morally” so men will never be tempted. 

      *Everything* in sex is the woman’s fault in your religion. You hold men blameless, even if they rape someone. Then you start talking about how the woman was dressed, or how she acted, or is she lying?

      Also, we aren’t the ones who believe that humans are nothing more than glorified animals. We don’t think that people need a higher power to be good. We don’t try to force our ideas of right and wrong on others. We actually believe that humans are more than trash without an invisible sky daddy. 

      But then, you’re right. Christianity’s standards ARE pretty low. They don’t care who they hurt or Fuck over, so long as it strokes their ego. 

    • Coyotenose

       Man, it’s like Grandpa Simpson is talking, only without the charisma, focus or accuracy.

  • Jim Henline

    Care to reply using your real name, or are you to chicken shit to let others know that you are actually this stupid.

    Should have been for Guest up there.

    • Jim_Lahey

      Most of us know that! He’s an ignorant troll who spends his time writing gibberish. He loves to stir the pot tho!

  • OregoniAn

    So when you show up for the service do they blindfold you, tie you up, then proselytize all over you? I might be down for that.. Provided we have a “safe” word.

  • Earl G.

    I do feel sorry for them.  It really does make me sad to think about what their sex lives must be like.

    • Earl G.

      Plus how creepy it is that they think their god is watching them in the bedroom!

      • Agnostic

        Must be like your more highly evolved self looking at you from another universe. Oh, how I love joking at other people’s expense, just like the Americans on TV.

  • C Peterson

    So here’s the story in a nutshell: Fifty Shades of Grey is
    popular, so a church is going to allude to the title to bring people to a
    service… in which they talk about why no one should take the messages
    in the book seriously.

    I think most of us here agree there’s another book that no one should take seriously. A book that many claim to have read, but few actually have. A book which, if taken as a sexual guide, would lead to a far darker world than anything found in 50 Shades of Grey.

  • Foster

    Oh, Hemant, don’t be cross just because they’ve got a clever marketing scheme.  This post looks like sour grapes to me.

    • Baby_Raptor

      You call this clever? It’s a blatant rip-off.

  • A3Kr0n

    How can something that doesn’t exist say anything?
    I hope they get nailed for copy write violation.

  • d.

    Possibly more repugnant is the depiction of them burning a copy of the book. I don’t care how bad a book is, none of them deserve that.

  • Jo

    This post title was misleading

  • banana_slug

    Oddly enough, I just came across this.

    http://www.sexinchrist.com/index.html

  • http://profiles.google.com/julielada Julie Lada

    Let’s be honest, here… Fifty Shades of Grey is about  as far from “good sex” as the Church. Or maybe the vast majority of women actually did experience three dozen orgasms purely from having a penis shoved in balls deep and being jack-hammer rabbit fucked with no clitoral stimulation upon losing their virginity (and indeed, the first time having their genitals touched EVER because the lead character never masturbated) and *I’m* the one who’s being unrealistic.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X