Malaysian Education Ministry Offers Guidelines To Tell If Your Kid Has the Gay

Suppose you’re a parent in Malaysia and you’re thinking to yourself, “I really think my kid might be gay, but I have no handy checklist to assist me in my prognosis! What will I do?”

Worry no more!  The Malaysian Education Ministry has come to the rescue!

They have released a helpful “How-To” guide to help you identify the homosexuals:

I have a couple questions, as I feel like their guide is far from comprehensive.  

First of all, how the hell is “Attracted to men” lower on the list than “Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes”?

Wait…”light-coloured clothes”?  I don’t… what does… any guy who wears a white or yellow shirt is gay?  And v-neck shirts?  

I think I need to have a serious talk with my boyfriend. (Thanks, Malaysian Education Ministry!)

And it sounds like their image of a lesbian is a woman who hates other woman except for her special lady friend… and also hates all men.  So… what, lesbians only ever interact with their significant other?  Poor, lonely lesbians!

Oh, and there’s a seminar!

The seminar on “Parenting in addressing the issue of LGBTs (lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders)” was organised by Yayasan Guru Malaysia Bhd and officiated by Deputy Education Minister Mohd Puad Zarkashi.

Penang is the fourth state to hold such a seminar, after Selangor, the Federal Territory of Kuala Lumpur and Perak, and yesterday’s seminar in Penang was the 10th in the country.

Puad is quoted by Sinar Harian today as saying that the exposure of symptoms of gays and lesbians was the best approach to address the spread of such unhealthy phenomenon among students.

Youths are easily influenced by websites and blogs relating to LGBT groups. This can also spread among their friends. We are worried that this happens during schooling time,” Puad told some 1,500 teachers and parents.

The guidelines were distributed to all those who attended the seminar.

Shoot, they’re onto us!  We here at Friendly Atheist have been promoting the “phenomenon” of LGBT rights for a while now… and it turns out it spreads easily.

You should probably get yourself tested.

(Thanks to Katie for the link!)

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.