Breaking Up with a Mathematician

This joke makes no sense…

Since when do mathematicians have anyone to dump?

BAM! I’ll be here all night.

(via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Adam Patrick

    Dammit, Hemant, I was gonna make that joke.

  • Christian von Kietzell

    It’s funny that you’re reading lots of the same comics I read.

  • A3Kr0n


  • Sherlock

    I think Danica probably has had a few to dump in her time…

    • advancedatheist

      Eh, don’t get me started on Danica. She might have written some math books to help middle school girls, but she’s otherwise wasted her life on crap acting jobs like cartoon character voices, SyFy Channel movies and “Inspector Mom.”

      • Mistletoe Ethaniel

        “Wasted her life”?  What, for working?

        • advancedatheist

          Plenty of mentally mediocre actresses could have played the roles Danica took for the trash put out by the SyFy Channel and Lifetime. High-IQ people like Danica have no business wasting their potentials on this nonsense when they could attain hard but useful goals which lay beyond the abilities of the world’s dumbasses. 

          • Michael Brice

            Pretty harsh advancedatheist! What if she likes being an actress? Does that count for anything?

            And, doesn’t her exposure as an actress give her a forum to reach and potentially influence the (as you call them)  world’s dumbasses?

          • Chakolate

             Maybe, but she’ll have a hell of a hard time getting a job in academia.  Math departments don’t like pretty girls – at least not in tenure-track positions. 

            • Emma

              So you’re saying that all tenured/tenure track female professors are ugly. Congratulations. You just insulted half the women in my family.

          • Foster

            Man, and they say we religious folks are judgmental.  Yeesh.

  • walkamungus

    …and don’t forget to tip your waitress!

  • advancedatheist

    I”m looking for my next girlfriend by induction over N.

  • coyotenose

    Better stick to your day job.

    …because you’re awesome at it!



    Say, where are all the people who complain about posts that aren’t about PURE UNDILUTED ATHEISM?

    • Pepe

      Well according to math, 1+1+1 = 3.
      But for Christians, 1+1+1 = “1″. So I’m sure, math leads to atheism :P

      • Foster

        I think that removing the nouns that the quantifiers modify does tend to misrepresent the claim, no?4 quarters = 1 dollar looks a lot more rational than 4 = 1, for example.  Obviously, the Trinity is counterintuitive and mysterious, but it is not a mathematical contradiction.

        • se habla espol

           OK, let’s do a complete version of each, with full specification of the units involved:
          4 × ¼ × dollar = 1 dollar

          Looks good to me, for the rationality side.  Now let’s look at the superstition side:
          1 god + 1 god + 1 god = 1 god
          Still YARF (Yet Another Religion Fail).

          • Foster

            The failure of logic on your part is equivocating the word “is” with an equal sign.  For example, if we do so, then Jack is an evil man, and Jack is an Arab, would mean evil man = Jack = Arab, which would lead to the conclusion that evil man = Arab, which is nonsense.  In the same way, one cannot treat “is” as an equals sign as you have done above without committing willfully ignorant slips of illogic.

    • John

       WHERE’S THE ATHEISM?! How dare you waste 15 seconds of my time with something you think is funny!

  • marzipanpieplate

    As a conventionally attractive lady mathematician, I am offended by your insinuation that - 

    Hahahaha. Just kidding. Forever alone.

    (I actually am in a long-term relationship, but am totally a typical obsessive loner. “Sexytimes? But there’s a problem I haven’t solved yet!”)

  • jcm

    This joke makes no sense…

    He’s making a “replacement.” see here: ;-)

  • Kimpatsu

    A whole new meaning to the term +1…

  • Foster

    He better watch out, or she’s going to reduce him into partial fractions.