A Movie About Noah’s Ark Has Been Delayed for the Best Reason Ever

Noah is the newest movie from director Darren Aronofsky. It’s slated for release in 2014 and looks to be a remake of 2007′s Evan Almighty. [Note: After some further painstaking research, I discovered that it is evidently based on some little-known story in the Bible known colloquially as "Noah's Ark." Amazing!] It also stars some big name celebrities like Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, and Emma Watson.

Russell Crowe as Noah

Unfortunately, filming has been delayed, and you’ll never guess why.

Or maybe you’ll guess it on your first try.


Yup.  Hurricane Sandy, what one might describe as a “storm of biblical proportions,” has halted the production by flooding the filming location:

To make it as realistic as possible, the director built a massive ark, which measures 450 feet long, 75 feet tall and 45 feet wide. Unfortunately, it was never meant to be sailed. With production wrapping up within the next few weeks, the ark was forced to deal with flooding as Hurricane Sandy passed through Oyster Bay.

Hmm… so what will all of the geniuses who are blaming Sandy on the liberal, homosexual, Democratic agenda say now?

Maybe G-O-D didn’t approve of the script?  Or maybe he’s not crazy about Crowe’s performance thus far.  Oh, I know!  He just can’t stand to see Emma Watson play anything besides Hermione.  He’s such a Potter nerd, after all.

Regardless, nothing like a dose of heavy-handed irony to get you though your day!

(Thanks to Raul for the link!)

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.