We the People, In Order to Secede from the Union…

This was always going to happen and you win no prizes for guess which state is leading the way.

Ah, Texas, you are without doubt my favorite crazy state.

If the signatories of a petition over at the White House website get their way, the Lone Star State will be going it alone. They’re not the only ones, though; the website has been inundated with people starting petitions for their state to secede. Each petition has the magic target of obtaining 25,000 signatures within its first 30 days — at that point, someone from the White House is supposed to give an official response. Texas has already gone way past that, amassing a whopping 68,000 signatures. The petition was created by Micah H of Arlington, Texas four days ago.

Below is the text:

Peacefully grant the State of Texas to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government’s neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it’s citizens’ standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.

Other states are also represented on the list of active petitions. All the usual movers and shakers are there: Kentucky  Alabama, Oklahoma… though I’m not quite sure why New York and Oregon are on that list other than the fact that it only takes one person to start a petition.

Georgia, Missouri, and South Carolina are so keen to secede, in fact, that petitions for those states have actually been filed twice:

States marked in red have active petitions to secede from the union (via The Daily Mail).

Most of the petitions include references to the Founding Fathers, the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence, or, in Tennessee’s case, just five words: “Helping the people of Tennessee.” It’s easy to think that the authors and signatories of these petitions are just frustrated at the election result, frustrated at the current state of the political system or just the state of the U.S. generally. It does make you think, though: How many of these people are deadly serious? How many people are actively trying to find ways their state can break away and become its own country?

Texas might manage on its own for a while. Like the author of the petition says, its economy is large enough it might be able to function as its own country. The others, though, I’m not so sure. Many citizens use government programmes such as food vouchers and Medicare, which the Federal government can pay for partly off the success of the economies in California and New York. I don’t know enough about Louisiana’s economic strength to say if it would survive or not. This is all obviously irrelevant as there is no way any of this will ever happen. It’ll be very interesting to see if and how the White House responds to these requests!

About Mark Turner

Mark Turner was born and raised as a Catholic in the North East of England, UK. He attended two Catholic schools between the ages of five and sixteen. A product of a moderate Catholic upbringing and an early passion for science first resulted in religious apathy and by mid-teens outright disbelief.

@markdturner

  • Kahomono

    srsly: would YOU miss most of these?

    • Guest

      Well, seeing as how some people (including me) in fact live in these states, it would be scary to think of being cut off from government programs and what little religious freedom we do still enjoy in the US. Plus, the US would lose some beautiful national parks and unique cultures.

    • Baby_Raptor

      I happen to live in one of said states, and I don’t really want to be subjected to the third world theocracy that would inevitably result. 

  • Afederici75

    Friendly note: Check the last paragraph. There are two typos at the beginning: “it’s” instead of “its”.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Hemant Mehta

      Fixed!

  • Jporgal

    Close all the military bases and remove all military assets out of these states and let them secede. See how long they last. :-)

    • WoodyTanaka

      Also, let’s see how large of an economy they have without free trade between Texas and the US.  (And for good measure, I’d say the US should also keep the thirty-mile wide strip along the Gulf Shore (we’ll append it to Louisiana and make Texas a land-locked state) as the “price tag” for their independence.)

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Travis-Dykes/19217851 Travis Dykes

        You can take 30 miles off the Texas coast, we still wolnt be anywhere close to landlocked… also giving it to Louisiana would be a bad idea since they also are wanting to secede and since Louisiana tends to be a lot less efficient about managing things than Tx even before factoring in the corruption that tends to happen in Louisiana.

        • WoodyTanaka

          Well, if we’re defining “landlocked” as “having no coastline” and the US retains all of the land from what is now the Texas coastline back 30 miles, then I see no way for the inland remnant not to be landlocked.

  • more compost

    In the first place, Texas’ budget is NOT balanced, there is a deficit of around 25 billion.  

    In the second place, all these petitions are mostly being submitted by private citizens.  A bunch of whiny sore losers who don’t really understand what America is all about, or how elections work.

    In the third place, a lot of the signatories of these petitions don’t even live in the state that the petition addresses.

    In the fourth place, the states that these petitions originate from are almost all taker states.  That is, states that get more money from the federal government than they send in as taxes.

    All in all, this is quite pathetic.

    • http://twitter.com/ylaenna M. Elaine

      In the third place, a lot of the signatories of these petitions don’t even live in the state that the petition addresses.

      I live in Illinois but I’m tempted to add my signature to the Texas petition. Buh-bye! :D

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger?feature=mhee GodVlogger (on YouTube)

         Yes, let’s think about *Letting Texas Leave*!

        It would utterly *destroy* any chance of a Republican winning the White House, and the quality of science textbooks in the remaining states would go way up!

        But I would feel bad for the Atheists of Austin.

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/4TXLBOQAQRHO7ALLHBJ4TPTTLI latinos_work_at_yahoo

           We would go back to a simpler and healthier time in Texas.

        • Ren

           There’s this petition from Austin: “Peacefully grant the city of Austin Texas to withdraw from the state of Texas & remain part of the United States.”
          https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/peacefully-grant-city-austin-texas-withdraw-state-texas-remain-part-united-states/TDD212hQ

        • Foster

          Regardless of whether TX or any other state secedes, it is already quite evident, demographically speaking, that no Republican (as we know them at least) will ever win the white house again.  The whites’ numerical power that form their base have been diluted too much and will continue to be diluted by minorities.  Consider that Obama won in the electoral college 303 to 206.  That’s a 3 to 2 margin.  These exit polls are also telling:  http://isteve.blogspot.ch/2012/11/heres-other-exit-poll-data-that-nobody.html

          The Republican party is a dying party, which is why political opportunists like Jeb Bush and Rand Paul are already trying to change the party’s tune on immigration reform, but their pandering is only too obvious and won’t get them the votes they want.

          If I were Perry, I’d be supporting the secession movement.  That’s the only way he ever has a shot at becoming President of anything as a Republican.

        • Saint_Sebastian

           Well, somebody is up on their High horse.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/A37GL7VKR3W6ACSIZPH7EID3LI rlrose63

      Yup… :-)   The ones that want to leave AND the ones that want them to leave.  The non residents are just trying to be nice and help the ones that want to leave, leave.  Is that so wrong?  I think it’s friendly.

      • Thalfon

        Exactly! It’s great all around. Think about it, if Texas leaves, that frees up their 32 seats in the house of representatives. Suddenly you can add Puerto Rico to the union (since they actually want to be there) and you can give them their 5 or so seats without anyone losing any. (In fact, there will still be 27 seats to share around.)

  • http://religiouscomics.net/ Jeff P

    The United States should agree that all fifty states can immediately succeed all together thus immediately dissolving the United States  with the following caveats.

    1. A new country will immediately take its place called the Confederate States of America (or The Confederation for short).
    2. It will have the same constitution as the previous country.
    3.  All federal civil servants will keep their jobs unless future politicians decide otherwise on a case by case basis. The judiciary will also keep their jobs.
    4.  All elected politicians and their staffs from the old United States will serve out their existing terms in this newly constituted country.
    5. Upon completion of their current term, new elections will be held abiding by the constitution.

    In other words, nothing changes except for the name of the country. Do you think that would satisfy the discontents?

  • freemage

    Texas has balanced their budget primarily by suckling at the Federal teat–like most red states, they pay less to the Feds than they receive.  The only ones I’d miss from that entire map would likely be Louisiana (specifically, New Orleans) and Florida (which is, of course, a very purple state).

    • Gringa

       I was thinking the same thing about most of these states.  There was an entry on the Rachel Maddow blog a few days ago that pointed out which states get more tax money back from the government than they pay, and it was a sea of red.  If I didn’t live in SC, I’d say we should let them all have a go at it – and try to balance their budgets without the fed.  But I don’t want to have to pay for all the morons in my state.  Can I petition the White House to ignore these stupid requests?

  • M J Shepherd

    Looking forward to the response from the White House laughing off these farcical temper tantrums.

    • http://twitter.com/WCLPeter Rob U

      Personally, I’m hoping the White House response is a list of instructions on how to secede and how much the States would have to pay to settle their debts to the federal government first.

      I’m pretty sure its written down somewhere, since it was probably one of the conditions set out when the States joined up – had to be a clause to get out if it wasn’t working right?

  • Frank Mitchell

    As an unwilling but unavoidably long-term resident of Texas, I really hate how blithely other people dare this state to secede.  As “more compost” says, Texas probably could not survive more than a few years on its own, especially if the U. S. government repossessed army bases and other public works.  In the meantime the conservative theocrats would have free reign: expelling Planned Parenthood, rewriting textbooks, bringing Jesus back into public life, reinstating blue laws, cancelling services for poor people in the name of “fiscal responsibility”, and who knows what else.  Granted, secession is pretty unlikely, but even the possibility worries me.

    • Cdcoker12

      Worries me too, it’s interesting to think about but that’s a huge economic burden on citizens if Texas does secede. For the US and Texans. If the US lost all the petroleum refineries and NASA, the US shuts down, and if Texas loses everything thing the US goverment pays for, Texas shuts down. Doubt it will happen but a physical uprising would happen.

    • Elizabeth

      My thoughts exactly.  I love Austin, but if it were suddenly subject to the whims of everyone else in this state I would not want to be here anymore!

  • http://twitter.com/DragonkinSverd Steven Sword

    Never mind that I would love to see Texas go, if for no other reason than their influence on the education system in the country being gone. Rick Perry who lobbied for Secession in 2009 has said he does no support this petition. Olbermann destroyed this nonsense 3 years ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R92mcTzWRw

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001351447253 Amanda Hernandez

    Texas is always talking about seceding no matter who’s in office. Even our tourism site has the tagline “It’s like whole other country.”

    If we ever secede I’d stay. We have Blue Bell ice cream.

    • Coyotenose

       Buh? I live in North Carolina and get Blue Bell. It’s damn fine stuff.

    • http://twitter.com/WCLPeter Rob U

      Texas is always talking about seceding no matter who’s in office.

      So its basically just like Quebec then?  :-)

  • TheG

    They talked about this a few years ago.  Keith Olbermann did a great job of deconstructing what a horrible idea this would mean for Texas.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJvlzbU2GTU

    However, I think it might turn out to be good for the rest of us.

    “Don’t let Oklahoma hit your butt on the way out.”

  • Pickle

    For what it’s worth, most of the people I’ve talked to about this here in Texas think seceding is a very ignorant idea. However, if by some bizarre fluke Texas does secede, I’ll be moving to the U.S. 

  • http://billybobsbibleblog.blogspot.com/ billybobbibb

    It’s intellectually lazy to write off these petitions are mere nut jobs.  Our founding fathers were considered crazy for wanting to break away from Britain before the Revolutionary War.  And the majority of the US population thinks us atheists are crazy for not believing in their fairy tale god(s).

    On thing to consider, does the US need Texas more than Texas needs the US, or vice versa?  Texas is the energy hub of the nation, it has the busiest international port in the US, it is home to a vibrant technology culture, it has a great highway system, and its budget is balanced.  There are compelling reasons so many people are moving to Texas from other states – Texas picked up 4 new House seats that other states lost in the 2010 census.  The environment is conducive to business, housing is affordable, even the education system is improving.  People in Texas by and large consider the federal government to be more of a hindrance than a help.  And this has been the case long before Obama was ever elected.

    The one area where federal dollars are spent is the military, and there are many bases here.  But most of the service people stationed here aren’t actually from Texas.  Still, the military presence does benefit the Texas economy.  People sit and watch the federal budget spiral out of control, knowing the Ponzi scheme can’t go on like this forever.  There is a sense here that the smaller the government, the better, which is why the Texas legislature only convenes every other year.

    Are the philosophical differences between Texas and the US enough to warrant an armed revolution?  Probably not, since this would put Texas in the same league as Venezuela and Cuba in terms of US relations.  I think these petitions are a preemptive tool to voice a legitimate grievance, and also when the US economy finally tanks under the weight of its own debt, Texas can attempt to preserve its quality of life. 

    • jdm8

      I think there is a key difference. Texas has taxation with representation. The 13 colonies were simply taxed. And yes, the revolutionaries were crazy.

      I don’t think there need to be any rebellion for Texas, supposedly Texas has a specifically stated right of secession as a condition of statehood.

      • Gus Snarp

        Sometimes I think that our view of the Revolution here in the U.S. is just wrong. There are many things in history that get oversimplified, written in a twisted way by the victors, and generally treated as sacred. Perhaps none more so to Americans than the Revolution. While it did usher in a government based on the principles of the enlightenment, and with rights derived from the governed rather than from God that would become important to other nascent democracies in Europe and around the world, it also was led entirely by wealthy landowners who sought financial benefit from the outcome, and may not have been particularly necessary, nor all the beneficial. The British Empire was already on a stumbling path toward more democracy, and the growing wealth of the colonies would make them a formidable force for change had they remained in the Empire. Did the United States serve as an essential example to the world and would the colonists never have gotten representation without the Revolution? If the answer to those two question is no, then the Revolution was a waste of lives and we might well be better off now without it. We’d have free universal health care and public education. And we might have convinced Parliament to properly separate church and state.

        Plus, we’d all have better accents.

        • jdm8

          It’s tough to know, or even have an educated speculation, but it is an interesting question.

          It’s possible that Canada, Australia and other subjects were peaceably let go to avoid a similar war as they had with the USA. That said, they’re still part of the realm, and are even required to aid the UK in times of war. I don’t think I would have wanted to have the Queen on our currency.

          It’s possible the USA might not have gotten the Louisiana Purchase or Alaska if it was still part of England. There might not have been a war with Mexico, so Britain might not have gotten California the way the US did. So that’s a big question mark.

          There are so many ramifications that it’s a wide open question.

    • Gus Snarp

      We might also consider that 57.2% of voters in Texas went for Romney and 1.1% for Libertarian Gary Johnson. We can safely assume that all of the secessionists who voted are part of that 58.3%. We can also safely assume that not all of that 58.3% support secession. In fact, I think it’s safe to assume that the vast majority of that group don’t want to secede. Meanwhile, most of the counties along the Mexican border voted for Obama, and all the major urban areas voted for Obama. So should some parts of Texas secede and not others? What would be left of Texas without the cities and with a strip of U.S. between them and Mexico? In many of the other states that these petitions have been created for, most of the vote went to Obama.

      What makes them a lunatic fringe, aside from how much better off they are as part of the United States than otherwise, is that they are demanding that their entire state change it’s fundamental status, something that would profoundly impact everyone, based on the whims of a tiny minority.

      When atheists ask for secularism, that’s not just something good for atheists, and we’re not the only ones who want it. It’s good for everyone, and at least at one time, the majority agreed on it enough to ensconce it in the Constitution.

      When we ask for gay couples for the right to marriage everyone else has, even if a minority is asking for it, they’re asking for a fundamental right that harms no one.

      But when a tiny minority asks for the whole state to leave the union just because they feel angry, that’s something else entirely and, among other things, makes them a lunatic fringe.

      There are some other arguments that show them to be nutty. It may seem like a knee jerk reaction, but there’s plenty of logic behind it, even if most of us don’t feel the need to walk through all of that logic explicitly to come to a conclusion.

      • kaydenpat

        If Texas seceded, the Democrats/liberals/progressives would probably have to leave. 

        Of course, we know that there will be no secession for any of these states.  Crazy talk.

    • Reginald Selkirk

       I thought of putting up a serious response to your trolling, but then I saw your posting name and figured it would be a waste of time. What a great country, where even ignorant rednecks have access to the Internet.

      • Bill

        How was that trolling. Inaccurate assumptions?

        Bill

    • Gus Snarp

      Texas is the energy hub of the nation, it has the busiest international port in the US, it is home to a vibrant technology culture, it has a great highway system

      I really like how you think federal dollars only go to the military and don’t have anything to do with the things you mentioned in this quote.

    • Baby_Raptor

      Well, we know very firmly what side you’re on.

      1) Texas’ budget is not balanced. 

      2) Texas’ education system is not improving–It’s steadily dumbing down and it’s taking the rest of the country with it, because everyone has to adhere to Texas’ preferences.

      3) The debt is shrinking. And it would be shrinking more but for the part of the government that doesn’t give a damn about the country, they only want to Fuck the president over.

      4) “Small government” my ass. If they believed in small government, why are they legislating what women can and can’t do with their bodies, permissible government rape, defunding clinics that don’t adhere to christianist beliefs, who can and cannot marry, ETC? 

      5) Texas would not survive without the US. People would leave in droves, because they know the state would devolve into a 2nd or 3rd world theocracy. The US would remove all the military bases. People would stop going to the medical center, because a Jesus Texas would wreck it. Technology would collapse, because technology is evil. 

      6) Hating the black stallion in the White House because he’s black and not Republican is not a legitimate grievance. 

      And lastly, this is just a personal opinion and not really a counter, but…Fuck the highway system. You ever been to Dallas? The highway looks like a spider’s silk gland exploded on the map!

      But anyway, you’re free to think whatever you want. Just don’t expect rational people to adhere to fact-based reality to agree with you. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001351447253 Amanda Hernandez

        I’d hate for you to be serious. Texas is definitely not the nightmare everyone else thinks it to be. I’ve lived here all my life and I’ve had no problems from people due to my Atheism. By the way you paint it, shouldn’t I have been lynched years ago?

    • kaydenpat

      Let Texas go.  The US doesn’t need it.  You make it seem as if Texas is some all important entity that the US couldn’t survive without.  Dream on, Righty.

  • http://billybobsbibleblog.blogspot.com/ billybobbibb

    Military bases can be replaced.

    • Baal

       You’re missing the point.  Bases are FEDGOV property and they represent a way that the federal government funnels $$ down to the Texans.  The only military threat to a newly independent Texas would be the Mexican drug cartels (if that).

  • http://billybobsbibleblog.blogspot.com/ billybobbibb

    And the best Mexican food anywhere, lol.

  • Sackbut

    As noted, it takes one individual to start a petition.  That person doesn’t have to live in the state mentioned in the petition.  The signers don’t have to live in the state mentioned, either.  Could be “I want to secede”; could also be “good riddance”.  Could also be “lots of secession petitions in the news, let me start one, too”.

    I’ve seen two imaginative counter-petitions, one calling for all signers to these secession petitions to be deported, and one calling for all petitioners to be forcibly moved to Texas (which can then secede, so a somewhat more specific and elaborate means of deportation).

  • Gus Snarp

    I feel insulted reading the one for Ohio. I want to tell the authors of the petition that they’re free to leave the country, but they’re not taking me and the rest of the state with them. To that end, there’s also this petition asking for secessionists to be stripped of their citizenship: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/strip-citizenship-everyone-who-signed-petition-secede-and-exile-them/ZbMjcwPf

    It’s silly and absurd, but I signed it, mainly because I felt the need to do something to make a statement in opposition to the lunatic fringe calling for my state to secede.

  • Marco Conti

    How about we bring treason charges on these sore losers?
    And what’s up with the landlocked states? Are they serious? 

    As far as Texas, I would hope the city of Austin would seceded from them and rejoin the US.

  • Octoberfurst

     This is nothing but a bunch of whining sore losers having a hissy fit. Yeah go ahead and try to secede. Fat lot of good it will do you.  And what about all the people who DO want to stay a part of the US?  Just because Texas has 68,000 malcontents doesn’t mean that the millions of other Texans want to secede.  It’s all so idiotic.

    • tired

       i voted for obama and i still back the states that want to secede after all i am kinda tired of having to deside the lesser of 2 evils when i go to the polls

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/A37GL7VKR3W6ACSIZPH7EID3LI rlrose63

    I’m wish I were dumbfounded that Oregon is on there… the one state that everyone says is SOOOO liberal.  But I live here and it is liberal in the few big cities (if you look at election results maps, you’ll see 3 blue areas and the rest are solid red), but everywhere else, including the outlying areas of those cities, is RED and CONSERVATIVE.  I live southwest of Portland, in a little mini Northwest Bible Belt ™, a county that went blue but only by the skin of its teeth.  I know no one in my circle of acquaintances that voted Obama.

    I say good riddance to the rest of them, though.  Don’t let the door hit you.

    • Onamission5

      Yeah I usually laugh when someone says OR is liberal. PDX and most of the W. Valley all the way down to Eugene are liberal, Ashland is a tiny pocket of liberalism, and the north coast is too but the rest of the state is filled to the brim with racists, neo-cons, religious conservatives and libertarians who wish that sundown laws were still enforceable. PDX and the Willammette Valley =/= Oregon. (but thank freaking goodness it has a higher population than the rest of the state combined!)

    • Artor

      There’s a redneck contingent in East Oregon & around Roseburg that harbors some secessionist sentiment, but there’s also a pretty liberal attitude here that would like to secede from the USA because it’s too right-wing. Read Ernest Callenbach’s Ecotopia Emerging to get the vibe. 

    • Stev84

      It’s the same in Washington. Without Seattle-Tacoma and the coastal area, it would be Idaho.

    • Fineasset

      I live over in SE Portland, and I actually was surprised to see our State listed with the others, mainly because it is a complete waste of their time considering we ARE a blue State and always will be.  I can understand it from those in States that are 2/3′s Republican, and VERY conservative, but conservatives here are mainly moderates and also wouldn’t allow our State to secede.  I would be more than happy to see whoever signed the petition to just leave and go where they will feel more welcome.  I also would like to have ALL the names of those who are signing those petitions to become public knowledge. 

  • Gus Snarp

    Oh, and that Daily Mail map is way out of date. Last I heard only Maine, Vermont, and Washington did not have petitions up. But that was according to Daily Caller. Certainly more states than shown on that map have petitions up. It was clearly changing rapidly. Just check https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petitions and you’ll see that most of the recent petitions are for secession. My personal favorite now is the one for Austin to secede from Texas and remain in the United State: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/peacefully-grant-city-austin-texas-withdraw-state-texas-remain-part-united-states/TDD212hQ

    • kaydenpat

      I would discount any petitions to secede from blue states. 

  • Bellj

    It’s very strange how all these supposed patriotic Americans will happily and ignorantly  throw it all away. Do they even have the faintest idea of what it will entail? 
    No federal government, they will have to create a new one. No American military, no federal funds for ANYTHING. They are Aok with this because they think only welfare comes from federal funds. What about education funds for universities?What about hurricanes? No FEMA. And what will be done with the huge Dallas airport hub? It would no longer be in “America” so it could go bye- bye. How about unscrupulous CEO’s who would love a chance a lowering the minimum wage with no one to stop them?It goes on and on. These people need to get their heads screwed on right. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

      You’re expecting these loons to think? 

  • http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/ Andrew Hall

    Wait, I know what they should do. The states who really wish to leave should form a country consisting of a loose association, call it a confederacy. Then they can rewrite property laws so that they get all the cheap  labor they will ever need… 

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “Don’t Mess With Texas”?

    Last time someone messed with Texas Texas and ten other states got their asses handed to them. Texas does not have the right to secede, but if they want to go so bad let them. We just take back everything that the federal government has ever help pay for. Military bases, schools, and roads. We can also build a fence along Texas’ border.

    If they want to leave, fine, but they give back everything federal money has payed for. 

    • Maurice

      Haha I completely agree! And I live in Texas ^^

  • KeithCollyer

    It’s interesting how many of the web pages referring to this talk about in terms like “Texas is petitioning to secede”, as if one person starting a petition is equivalent to the whole state petitioning the government (or “gummint” as we should probably say in this context). Whether this is wishful thinking or just laziness I don’t know.

    • Pseudonym

      Yeah, it’s kind of like “Christians say X” or “atheists are all Y”. A few morons does not a realistic movement make.

  • HughInAz
    • Michael

      Why isn’t there a petition to investigate Kolob as a rogue nation?

      Aliens who want us to only have basic tech? Sounds like a prelude for invasion.

    • Mike Laing

       Are they keeping their moons? We have to hammer out these details before I can commit.  I mean, my mom is addicted to green cheese – I got my family to think about!

  • ZenDruid

    I would suggest a counter-petition in those states, saying something like, “Those individuals who signed the secession petition are idiots and should shut up.”

    Let’s see how many signatures that petition would attract.

    • Patterrssonn

      How about a petition to have the last names of the seccesionost signers legally changed to ‘the idiot’?

  • Guilberube

    In Quebec we’ve been trying to seccede from Canada for the last 40 years. Its a lot of wasted ressources on a cause to where it is hard convince people it has any merit. Scottland is also trying to do the same thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Evans/1017276335 John Evans

      Since when was Scotland part of Canada? I kid, I kid.
      I sure hope Quebec doesn’t end up leaving Canada. I love those guys. They’ve produced some of our most brilliant minds and statesmen. And their mastery of beer is an inspiration.

      • Pseudonym

        Oh, you’ve brought back fond memories of La Fin du Monde. Good times.

      • Artor

        Dude, ever hear of Nova SCOTIA?

    • Pseudonym

      I don’t know how it is with Quebec, but with Scotland there are some interesting issues.

      For one, the rest of the UK doesn’t have enough space to park the fleet of submarines (given that their job is to patrol the North Sea, Scotland is the obvious place to put them). Second, the UK government currently has an 82% stake in the Royal Bank of Scotland.

      If you really want to open a can of worms, consider this question: How much of the national debt would Texas inherit?

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I like these better….

    Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America.

    Make Duncan Trussell the Emperor Of Planet Earth

    Strip the Citizenship from Everyone who Signed a Petition to Secede and Exile Them

  • Graham Martin-Royle

    You question whether any of these states have the means to succeed if they secede. There are plenty of countries smaller than many of these states, with many of them quite successful.  That doesn’t answer the question,  should they secede though. I, for one, hope not.

    • Coyotenose

       The issue there is that states are not countries and aren’t equipped to survive as countries. The infrastructure is totally different. It’s like when neocons compare the U.S. budget to a household budget; they just don’t get that the two things don’t work the same way. Texas could actually have a great, independent economy (it doesn’t; they just slashed education by 13%, among a zillion other huge issues), but the state would still not able to support itself without federal give-and-take.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gtpooh Gwenny Todd

    Check out this petition . . to take away citizenship and deport anyone who signs one of these petitions.  

    https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/strip-citizenship-everyone-who-signed-petition-secede-and-exile-them/ZbMjcwPf

    • Tyme4somer

      I think someone should mention that signing one of these petitions people are expressing part of our unailiable rights as put forth in the constitution i believe it falls under freedom of speach.

      • Baby_Raptor

        That doesn’t mean that we can’t call them idiots and advocate for them getting what they seem to want so badly.

        Also, it’s “speech.” 

      • kaydenpat

        “inalienable rights”

        And it’s our free speech to say that their citizenship should be stripped if they sign a petition to secede.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Nolte/48701519 Christopher Nolte

    It’ll be difficult for Texas to get too far in this endeavor.

    https://www.tsl.state.tx.us/exhibits/annexation/part5/question11.html

  • John

    I would have no problem with those in favor of seceding leaving, but I have a problem with them taking the people who don’t want to go with them.  Why should they be forced to move just to stay in the union?  However, if we were to designate an area to give these folks who want to leave and reserve it for them on the basis of average population density (~8 acres per person, IIRC).  This reserved land should be an unimproved area so these bootstrapping, I-Built-It types can really show us.  Perhaps along the Mexico / US border.  There’s a real nice chunk of land southwest of Las Cruces, NM.

    I wonder if there is any precedence for this type of “reservation”? 

    • Baby_Raptor

      Eh, as long as the Arkansas government funds my leaving, since it’s their actions causing it in the first place, I won’t be too pissy about having to move.

      That’s just my view, however. You’re right in that it’s a dick move all around. 

  • Dats3

    This is all rhetoric. A bombastic and over the top display of anger with the election results.  No one is going to secede from the union.  Now, if governors from all these states were writing petitions I’d probably be a little worried.  Most of this should settle down once the tea baggers realize that UN Troops are coming into their houses to steal there guns.

  • SeekerLancer

    Considering these are mostly states that are adding to our debt I really wish they’d make good on their threats and then hilariously collapse economically.

  • Glwministry

    Please Pray For This Aim.
    Which we rations, clothing, and their children the Word of God (bibles) can provide.
    If one of these three things, what would they do for the needy.
    And those of you in return will not refund money, but they will remember you always in my prayers. God you and your family all the Disasters will remove you from where you live in this country and you will come Blessed be stayed. Miracles your life and your family are in their prayers that are needed.
    If You are help for Christian Poor Peoples, You Have 20 days.

    Thanks Blessing!
    Evangelist Sherjeel

    • Baby_Raptor

      Asking Atheists who regularly take the piss out of your deity to pray to it is sure gonna help.

      Also, please learn basic English before your next spam spree. It would greatly help.

  • Glwministry

    Please Pray For This Aim.
    Which we rations, clothing, and their children the Word of God (bibles) can provide.
    If one of these three things, what would they do for the needy.
    And those of you in return will not refund money, but they will remember you always in my prayers. God you and your family all the Disasters will remove you from where you live in this country and you will come Blessed be stayed. Miracles your life and your family are in their prayers that are needed.
    If You are help for Christian Poor Peoples, You Have 20 days.

    Thanks Blessing!
    Evangelist Sherjeel
    http://www.facebook.com/glwministry.evangelistsherjeel

    • Question Everything

      Giving food to the hungry is an admirable goal.  Giving clothing to those without is as well.  But bibles would not be next on my list, even if I was a ministry.  If there were spare bibles and someone asked, by all means hand them out.  But what about blankets? The weather has turned cold, and will get colder, don’t you think blankets are more important than being cold and reading the words of your bible?

      Or perhaps health care.  A sick person can find comfort in many ways, but medicine can often make them healthy, allowing them time to read the bible later.

      Then again, maybe work assistance programs, such as resume creation, mock interviews, programs that match up job seekers with employers who have openings?  Once people have a steady form of income, they can worry less about food, clothing, blankets, health care, and can spend time reading the bible.

      I don’t pray, but I hope you can see how funding bible distribution isn’t the best way to get people to read the bible.  In reality, people need to eat to live.  They need clothing and warmth to live.  They need health care to live.  They need jobs to tend to those.  After that is a good time to hit them up about joining your church or passing them a bible.. or you can take the money you would’ve spent on that bible and find yet another person who could use a meal.  Those who see what you do might join your church, or they might not.. but in the end, you’ll have helped a lot of people, and lead by example.

      • Willy Occam

        Wow… kudos to Question Everything for being able to decipher Glwministry’s incoherent message and providing a sensible response. You must be a very patient person.

      • SnowyBiscuit

        Bibles co uld be handy now that it’s getting cold — one could always burn them. Those thin little pages would make great fire-starting material, and you wouldn’t have to risk buring a book with some literary or educational value. Just sayin’.

  • BruceMcGlory

    I don’t see a single downside of getting rid of Texas.  let them go, and grant amnesty to any untraitorous Americans who don’t want to live in this new cracked up bigot country.  And bring in Pueto Rico as the new 50th state.

    Nothing of value will be lost.

    • Cdcoker12

      Y’all would lose Houston, where 80% of the nations petroleum is refined, NASA, HP and Dell computers. I don’t agree with it but I can say it would suck for everyone.

      • Bellj

        Why would we lose NASA? It belongs to the USA. Texas couldn’t lay claims to ownership just because it is located there. 

      • Devon Morera

        Seriously, Houston is awesome. It’s a huge, diverse city with tons to do, jobs, and a fairly low cost of living. Also, we elected an openly gay mayor not just once, but two times. Don’t write Houston off just because it has the misfortune of being stuck in Texas. 

  • Atros

    Forgive me for stating the obvious, but didn’t we fight a war about this very issue about 150 years ago now?

    • Toast4122

      Is that what the civil war was about? I thought it had something to do with farm equipment.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brian.westley Brian Westley

    If North Dakota secedes, it would be the world’s 2nd largest nuclear power…

    • Stev84

      Those nukes are federal property. They couldn’t just take them.

      Also take a look at the fall of the Soviet Union. Turned out none of the new countries that suddenly found themselves with large stockpiles of nuclear weapons had the expertise or money to secure or maintain them.

  • Mej

    25,000 is not even one tenth of a percent of the Texas population.  Perhaps these folks should try to secede from Texas, too.

  • Alexandertimothy08

    I don’t think anyone in texas realizes that with out being a part of the U.S., they will be easy pickins for Mexico to take back.

    • PhillyPhoto

      My thought exactly. I would give it about a month before at least one Mexican Cartel over takes Texas completely and they all become drug mules. Texas would go bankrupt trying to defend the border.

      On their oil, I’m not sure who would buy it. Maybe China, but I’m sure the US could secure agreements with Europe and some other nations not to buy anything they sell.

      They have large ports through Houston and the Dallas airport, but I would imagine the US would cut off imports from Texas, so that money would be gone over night.

    • Sue Blue

      Could we just give Texas back to Mexico?  I don’t have a problem with that.

  • thebigJ_A

    This means war!

    Oh wait, we did that already….

  • Sue Blue

    Texas and most of the South – not at all surprised.  Resentment of the Federal government has simmered there for the last 150 years or so, ever since they got their asses whupped over slavery.  Oregon’s another story.  Rural Oregonians in the sparsely-populated eastern 2/3 of the state are overwhelmingly conservative and overwhelmingly outnumbered and outvoted by the progressive, liberal residents west of the Cascades (Portland, Salem, Eugene).   It’s the same in  Washington State, where conservative rural residents east of the Cascades complain that they don’t have a voice because they are heavily outnumbered by the liberal west (Seattle, Tacoma, Everett, Bellingham).  They are always talking about breaking away from the western half and forming their own backward little state – but that’s different from seceding from the U.S. as a whole.

  • Russian Alex

    From what I know, Republicans all over the country should be fighting against Texas’s secession. After all, they would lose 38 guaranteed electoral votes in the next election, which would make it that much harder to win the presidency.

    • Stev84

      That was my first thought too. Texas is about the only thing that even gives them a shot at the presidency

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    …Oregon? Really?

  • Elizabeth

    I’m pretty fond of living in Austin.  It’s a nice little island of relative liberalness and you can’t throw a stone without hitting a great taco.  As for everywhere else in the state, I really feel like a lamb in a lion’s den just driving through. Can the rest of the state just secede without us?

    • Fineasset

      Unfortunately, I doubt it.  I did enjoy seeing how Austin has started their own petition against the rest of Texas.. WTG.  But you would be a lone duck sitting in the middle of vultures. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/brotheratombombofmoderation Steve Caldwell

    As a US citizen living in Louisiana, I don’t think that my US
    citizenship or the citizenship of those who don’t want to secede is
    subject to a popular vote. I don’t want my freedoms under the Bill of
    Rights and the 14th Amendment taken away. Keep in mind that 41% of Louisiana’s voters didn’t vote for Romney and are probably not itching to
    secede.

    Furthermore, it’s nice to see that all of these
    petitions are asking to “peacefully” secede from the United States. I
    would like to assume good will and assume they really mean it. However,
    I think that the case law precedent doesn’t support secession nor is
    there a mechanism in the US Constitution for secession. So when all
    peaceful avenues are exhausted, will these petitioners give up and go
    home? Or will they resort to violence when things don’t go their way?

    Given the history of how Union supporters were treated by Confederate
    supporters (kangaroo courts, lynchings, etc), I have my doubts that a
    “peaceful” secession can happen when at least 41% of the citizens (and
    probably more) are not supporting it.

    • Fineasset

      I really feel for those of you who are on the other side of the fence in States who “could possibly” be allowed to secede, even though I doubt it will ever happen.  If not for those like yourself I would say, ok.. let’s teach them a lesson, and start removing military bases and relocating them in States that could use the income generated by having them.  Texas alone has 25 military bases, with a total of almost 195,000 stationed there.  Texas claims they are self sufficant, but would they be without all those military bases?  Not only that, but they would need to hurry and secure themselves because they would no longer have the security provided to them by our military, and I would be really worried about that considering they have Mexico sitting and waiting for them.  LA only has 4 bases, but losing even those would hurt.   At this point, talking about Texas because they are the most likely to be allowed to do this, if they are really serious they should have a State vote to see if the majority even want this, because I think you would find that there are going to be a number of Republicans, with half a brain, who wouldn’t dream of allowing this to happen.

      • Basejumpertx

        It is an abolishment of our Founding Fathers ever since an anti-American born illegal alien was allowed to be elected and re-elected with false birth certificate and totally blocking all jobs and progress for America while getting paid off by foreign oil companies and going against our First and Second Amendment Rights.  The new hitler is reborn as a radical kenya muslim to depopulate America & the world in the sake of money. Wake up & smell the coffee dude. 
        Martial Law will soon take all America down by the anti-christ. God help us all worldwide.

        • Mr BlackPeople

          Next time you jump please don’t pack a parachute, you ignorant nut. Wtf is an abolishment of our founding fathers? Master English before you try to take on politics. But seriously, keep jumpin’.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1306655921 Rolf Boettger

    15th largest economy?  Only because the federal government subsidizes your airports, roads and rails.  You want to leave, don’t let the door hit you on the back.  We’ll just take back our jets and warships and you can deal with your border on your on.  Oh, and NASA in Houston, that’s gone too.  Plus the NOAA satellites that give you a clue where the hurricanes are going to hit your coast, well, you’ll have to put up your own.  Oh, and communication satellites – start building those.  Plus the rockets to put them into space.  But by all means, feel free to leave, this time, I’m sure we’re not going to kick your butt just to keep you here – it’s not worth the effort.

  • Pobobound

    I keep reading about all the money they get from the federal government, but where does the federal government get it from in the first place? How much are they getting from taxing the oil companies in texas/ You may want to think twice about what the union could lose. I hope texas is successful. I might move there too.

    • Stev84

      Oil companies actually pay very little taxes. They are subsidized with tax breaks in the dozens of billions.

    • Raising_Rlyeh

      Texas gets more money from the federal government than they pay in. So do the majority of red states. Also if the red states left we might not get into idiotic wars based on lies. 

    • kaydenpat

      Move there now!  And secede already.  We wouldn’t miss you.

  • rg57

    “Texas might manage on its own for a while”

    I hope I live long enough to see this folly…

  • Duke OfOmnium

    I say, let ‘em secede.  That way, we’ll have an excuse to drop the Cowboys from the NFL.

  • Keulan

    They last time a group of states tried to secede from the Union didn’t go so well for those states. Have these idiots learned nothing from the Civil War? I’m willing to bet that the White House ignores these stupid petitions.

  • Piet Puk

    The republican double standard is telling. Why don’t they move to an other country if they don’t like it in the USA, like they tell everybody else to do?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/4TXLBOQAQRHO7ALLHBJ4TPTTLI latinos_work_at_yahoo

    I would love to succeed from America and let all the liberals do whatever they please.  Where will they get the money?

    • kaydenpat

      secede, not “succeed”. 

  • houndies

    I live in Tn and I never signed any petition for anything. Do these people actually think the gov’t will say “oh, so sad! yes, you are free to go! we had no idea you werent happy.”? Bottom line: these right wing fundie turkeys are just ticked that the “black president” got re-elected. They forget that if they were truly on their own they would have absolutely no federal funds for infrastructure, national parks, natural disaster relief and so on. State funds will only last so long while you try to get your sh*t together and figure out how to run your own country. My guess is, it wouldnt be too long before all the zealots were packing their bags and asking for asylum in states where sane, normal people live.

  • Dan

    It sounds to me, that most of the people making these comments are the whinning bratts, Not the ones wanting to Secede From The Union.

    • kaydenpat

      “whining brats” not “whinning bratts”.  Y’all need to secede for real.

  • John of Indiana

    I think they ought to pick one of these petitions and GRANT it. Then the next day, dynamite all the interstate hiway on/off ramps and drop bombs on all US highways, rendering them useless in the new country of Dumbfuckistan, put up Customs checkpoints at every road crossing the former state line, close airport control towers, shut off all Aids to Navigation, direct the National Guard to vacate their armouries and leave all their equipment behind, and maybe just open the cells in any Federal prisons and fire the guards.
    Then see how the “Patriots” (racists) like them apples…

  • O L D3941

    The US won’t allow them to secede just like they wouldn’t allow them the last time they tried (hopefully no bloodshed this time though).

  • Sophia Harrison

    Obama needs to get a t-shirt that says:
    Dear Republicans,
    I’m President and you’re not-deal with it.
    P.S. I dare you to secede.
    Sincerely,
    President Barack Obama a.k.a. The Black Man in Charge

    One a personal note, I can’t wait for Mexico to take back Texas. They shall call it Mexicas. LOL

    • Mr BlackPeople

      or Texaco

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/V6J7TROVVOFAELOAGKLVA5EQ5M Shiro

    Whites are the new minority

  • AnyBeth

    If Texas but not Oklahoma were to secede from  US, their longest northern border would present a problem. In most areas that have rivers as borders, the lines run down roughly the middle of the river. This isn’t the case for the Texas-Oklahoma border along the Red River — all the water is Oklahoma’s.  Being parts of the same country, this hasn’t has much impact. (Afaik, the biggest impact was when Texas built a toll booth on the bridge which Oklahoma promptly tore down, Texas having no right to so much as build in Oklahoma and certainly not to charge people for being there.) But were Texas its own country, suddenly its residents would need documents for international travel to so much as wade.  Probably need to say bye-bye to access to Lake Texoma for the same reason.  Fun.

  • Sam H.

    I never knew there were so many Texas haters out there. What on Earth did we do?

  • tired

    It is people trying to get the fed. to listen to thier wants and needs. Everyone keeps harping on race, patriotism, or sore loser thing are missing the point.  As far as it goes these people have the right to have thier wants and needs heard, the sad part is that they have had to go to this extreme to be heard. Minus afew crazies thats all these people are.

    • kaydenpat

      Let them secede.  Who cares?! 

  • Tradeguy

    dear mark you have been taught through a suppressed  cult the catholics i ws raised catholci and i did beleive in the redemtion of christ Jesus , but i had noot rceive the hly spirit and that is where the tire meets the road in the highway to heaven so to speak , the bible the words of GOd if you would dare to go to a website of truthly enlight ment of the fake religions the supress ion of the real truth in  the bible as well as the  apotte church  i go to sherryshriner,com  talk about truth she even goes  through the first earth age to now and you head willbe blown away ,  she recommends not reading  paul books he was not and apostle  he mess up the truth in GOd adn jesus and the  holy spirit , i recomment sherry  she has a facebook too  may GOd or YAh  open your eyes heart and soul to alltrhtuth  buddy   you not alone and yes there is the ALminghty   peace and love to you  through Jesus name
     

  • kaydenpat

    Let Texas go.  My cousins would have to leave, but they can come to the Blue state of Maryland and be closer to me.

  • petrock1963

    Rather than secession why not support a pettion to get a handle on these politicians.
    I just started a petition on the White House Petitions site, We the  People.  Will you sign it? http://wh.gov/XXIY


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