Heathen Holiday Card of the Day! (12/24)

Today’s card comes to us from Kyra Phee at Dear Darling Design. There’s something of a mix and match element to it.

Here’s the original:

Inside: What a shitty way to spend the holidays.

You can also choose your own adventure, so to speak, since the card is also offered with this alternate picture:

You can pick from a couple phrases for the inside, my favorite of which is “I’m sure you’ll rise again” :)

We’re almost at the home stretch! If you have anything that you’ve been itching to send in, now is the time! Send it over to HeathenHolidayCards@gmail.com and see the whole collection here!

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Sick

    Wow. This is disgusting. It’s one thing to say you don’t believe. It’s quite another thing to go out of your way to mock and make fun of life and death and a religion.

    You’re no better than the Westboro haters church. Really, you aren’t. They spread there intolerant hate as do you. You disgust me. You say you want equality. Is this how you go about doing it? You complain about the hypocrisy of religion and then you turn around and show your own hypocrisy. Wow.

    I think I might start documenting the junk on this website and turn it in as a hate site. Really this is all it has become and proof is being posted almost daily. I pray you don’t die tonight. If only one of your followers who have already died could come back and warn you of the punishment that awaits you. I feel gross having even read this now.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

      oh get over yourself already. your all powerful, all knowing, all compassionate god of the universe isn’t twisting his panties on a cross into a bunch over a website that publishes a picture. really. do you even understand how hysterical you sound? jeebus has already been crucified, according to your myths. there’s nothing we can do to him that will hurt him more. or maybe mocking him is the only power we atheists have that can destroy him? i’m guessing you fear that a lot.

      i once had a job at a tele-sales gig. we sold bs “insurance” that was “sponsored” by police. it was horrible. our manager was the nightmare of a manager i hope no one else has ever had to experience. he was all about “sell, sell, sell!” no matter what. we cold called people out of a list of numbers. street by street, it was the same script we were supposed to use, regardless of what people said in response. i’ll never forget this example of “how to sell” he gave us in training.

      trainee: so what if i call someone and they say they are just coming back from a tragic event? like a funeral, or murder?

      mgmt: well, listen to what they have to say. then say, “i hope you’re hanging in there” and then move on to the sales script.”

      xtianity reminds me of that. a great deal.

    • Helanna

      Why not make fun of life and death? And religion, for that matter. It’s pretty damn ridiculous when you think about it.

      I mean, if the crucifixion was such a big deal for Jesus, I’m sure he and/or God could have found a way around it. For the life of me, I don’t think I’ll ever understand this whole “Well, I don’t want to send people to hell, so instead of just, y’know, not doing that, I guess I’ll send myself down as my son and kill myself’ thing. If God is really going to get that upset over this picture, then he’s probably not worth worshipping anyway. Get over it God, it’s a joke.

      And finally, what hypocrisy is shown in this picture? And please do tell me how even cruelly mocking religion (which I don’t think this is) is as bad as advocating that people be tortured for eternity? I mean, torture is pretty immoral by most standards, so I don’t see why God should get away with it just because he created the universe or whatever.

      • sick

        Okay, so if I had a picture of a dead relative of yours that you were particularly close to, let’s said a grandfather. Most everyone’s grandfathers had a special, colorful saying or two that they would use when they would “drop” their wisdom on us.

        Would it be okay for me to send you a card on his birthday with a picture of him on his hospital bed, flatlined, maybe with one of his sayings on the front of it?

        On the inside of the card it would say something like, “Yeah, a lot good this saying did you in the end.”

        That sounds pretty heartless and classless to me. Just as this card is. It’s gross and it’s not humor at all. I understand that we believe different things, but if atheists are supposed to be “Good Without God” as many of your billboards I have seen proclaim, I would say this card alone is proof that the often used statement cannot be claimed by you or anyone else who finds this funny. It’s gross. Period.

        • Helanna

          First off, let me say that I *don’t* find this particularly funny. I’m fairly ambivalent about it. But I do find it a little disturbing that you seem to think that dark humor is actually evil. I can’t say I’m ‘good’ if I find this funny? Why? Just because you don’t think it’s funny? Basically every type of humor in the world is offensive to *someone*. There are jokes about murder, cancer, rape, suicide, the Holocaust, you name it. Part of the way humans deal with things is by laughing at it. Now, for example, I don’t find jokes about rape or suicide funny. At all. Not even the tiniest bit. But I’m not going to say that anyone who does is evil, or ‘can’t be good’.

          And if seeing a picture of Jesus on the cross really upsets you as much as seeing a dead relative of yours would, well . . . sorry? To be honest, I can’t even begin to understand that. To an atheist, Jesus is a historical figure, if that. If someone actually sent you this card, then get mad at them, because they should know that would upset you. But an atheist posted this on an atheist website, intending it for atheists. If you don’t like it, fine, but please don’t come down here and lecture us on how we’re evil, hate-filled, and hypocritical. Nobody hunted you down and specifically mocked you for your beliefs. In fact, I know a few Christians who would find this hilarious. What do you have to say to them?

        • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

          Wow. You’re an asshole supreme. Your example is nowhere near the same thing as mocking your stupid little myth. (For one, Helanna’s loved ones actually exist[ed]. Your “savior” didn’t.)

        • C Peterson

          Putting an image of somebody’s dead relative on a card and sending it to them would be insensitive at the best, hateful at the worst. It can only be seen as a personal attack on an individual. But that isn’t happening here. A fictional character, central to a hateful and damaging religion, is being mocked. If a person chooses to take that as a personal attack, that reveals a weakness in that person, not the person who made the card. No individual is being attacked here.

        • Greisha

          @Sick: What are you bitching about? Half of the Christendom (Catholics and Eastern Orthodox) proudly ware it as a religion symbol. However I do agree that it is disgusting. Besides it is a wrong holiday.

    • Scott-K

      The image of a dead man nailed to a cross is pretty disgusting on its own. We’re just so accustomed to seeing it that we don’t recognize it as such.

      The card is an example of dark humor. Some people will like it, and others won’t. Nobody is forcing you to look.

      • EZ Rider

        Nobody is forcing any “heathens” to look at any of the Nativity scenes being forceably removed all over the country either.
        clown.

        • Thackerie

          If you people don’t want your Nativity scenes removed from public property, stop disobeying the law. There’s plenty of room for them on church property and private property. Or, do they lose their value if they’re not offending someone?

          • peekaboo

            Well, see there ya go. I don’t have a Nativity scene. Nor does my church, nor does my city.

            This whole wild west attitude doesn’t work only splits our camps further apart. “They did something that I don’t and offends me so I’m going to try and do something that offends them.” That’s not a great defense nor will it get your cause as far as you’d like it to go.

    • Thackerie

      I feel gross after reading your stupid hell threat. Is that all you christians have — hatred and evil thoughts? I’m glad I’m not like you.

    • C Peterson

      The Christian belief system is sick, corrupt, and damages all of society. It is ENTIRELY appropriate to mock it, to make fun of it, to challenge it. The fact that misguided people take these beliefs seriously- deadly seriously- does not give them any sort of protection from challenge. Idiotic beliefs need to be attacked, and it doesn’t matter if those beliefs are 2000 years old or were dreamed up yesterday.

      You fail to consider the very real difference between hating ideas and hating the people who hold those ideas. Westboro- and many Christians in general- practice the latter. Humanists do not. There is nothing in this card that is remotely hateful towards any Christians. Mocking a person’s beliefs is not the same as hating the person who holds those beliefs.

      • Drew M.

        “Mocking a person’s beliefs is not the same as hating the person who holds those beliefs.”

        Exactly like hating the sin, but loving the sinner!

        • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

          Except, you know, IT ISN’T “exactly like” that at all.

          Especially when the “sin” that’s being hated is something that is an inherent part of a person’s being (e.g. homosexuality).

          • Drew M.

            Hey, you don’t have to justify being an asshole. It makes you all sound even more Christian.

        • C Peterson

          Yes, it is very similar. Except I don’t know any Christians who actually do that. In practice, everything about the actions of most people who make that claim indicate they actually disapprove of the individual. They don’t accept people who they view as sinners.

  • helmichv

    I am an atheist, and I think this card has crossed the line. If there is anything “friendly” left on this website, then I suggest you remove this post and card.

    • Helanna

      Would you mind saying why you think it crosses a line? Sure, the humor’s a bit dark, but humor is all it is.

      • helmichv

        For the first 25 years of my life, I grew up very religious, and with a wonderful family. They are still my best friends and honest and decent people. For 40 years I am an atheist, my family is disappointed about that. The symbol shown in this heathen card is the very essence of Christianity and of the very sincere faith of my family. If both of us (both atheist) would make a joke between eachother about “Jesus on the cross”, I would probably smile with you. But a website is a public forum and all people have access to it.

        • Helanna

          . . . this is an atheist website. I don’t believe we should be policing ourselves to avoid potentially offending certain types of Christians. If those types of Christians are going to get offended whenever Christianity is made fun of, they should *really* not be on the internet, and especially not on atheist websites.

          • helmichv

            An Atheist website with the name “Friendly Atheist” suggests tolerance and communication with other thinking humans. There is nothing tolerant about that card and it is an incorrect way to communicate with others.

            • C Peterson

              It’s a card by anti-religionists, for anti-religionists. I really doubt that many people who appreciate this card would send it to any but a select few. It’s been posted on a site by and for people who largely appreciate material like this.

              I find the idiotic drivel posted on Christian websites to be grotesque and offensive, but I don’t complain about it on those sites, because that’s what those sites are for! I know that when I visit them.

              • Thackerie

                Absolutely! The card IS out of line in the fundigelical mind — and that’s why I like it. I’d never send it to someone who I suspect would take offense, but I would send it to another heathen who would appreciate it. I have no respect for religion, but I don’t go out of my way to be offensive — or to take offense. I do believe some christians go out of the way to pretend they’re persecuted.

              • helmichv

                I visit this website daily. Blogposts by Richard Wade and sometimes Edward Tarte and others make me think more intelligently about religion and atheism. And I follow the fight to keep separation of church and state, with many hilarious situations.
                The card and blogpost under discussion is to my humble opinion offensive to many. It is not so much the image (the image is all over the world) but the remarks or captions that are posted with the image are obnoxious.
                As readers of this website, we can be critical of what and how it publishes and I do.

                • C Peterson

                  There’s nothing necessarily wrong with being offensive. That can be a powerful tool in changing minds. And humor often depends upon being offensive- and this is humor… whether or not everybody actually finds it humorous.

  • se habla espol

    This card is waaay out of line. The plot of JC’s Bad Weekend requires certain calendar coordination. Saturnalia just doesn’t fit the plot, which must occur around the vernal equinox. It just doesn’t work.

  • Glasofruix

    What did Jesus say when romans put him on the cross?

    -Quick, another nail, I’m slipping!


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