I Guess the Definition of Celibacy Has Broadened…

Normally, I would say your sex life is your personal business and, provided it’s all legal and consensual, who are we to judge?

That rule goes out the window, though, when the spends in question tells everyone else what they can’t do in the bedroom, then turns around and does it himself. (Case in point: Ted Haggard)

That’s what appears to have happened in Springfield, Illinois, where a Catholic priest at St. Aloysius church called 9-1-1 when he got stuck in a pair of handcuffs

“I’m going to need help getting out before this becomes a medical emergency,” Father Tom Donovan told a dispatcher who sounds a bit incredulous during the Nov. 28 call.

“You’re stuck in a pair of handcuffs?” the dispatcher asks.

“(I was) playing with them and I need help getting out,” Donovan responds.

Donovan told the dispatcher that he was alone in the rectory. It’s not clear exactly how he ended up in handcuffs or why he feared a medical emergency. His voice sounds garbled or muffled on the tape, and sources say that police discovered some sort of gag on the priest when they arrived.

Bonus points to anyone who can guess his Safe Word.

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