Why, oh why, are people still asking Pat Robertson for advice?
He’s either going senile or just plain mean. Or somewhere in between. I am going to call it “Mean-ile.” (Trademarked.)
It’s no secret that Robertson doesn’t think a whole lot of women in general, so when a 17-year-old kid writes into the 700 Club because his parents seem to be having marital problems, you know we’re in for a treat:
I’m 17 years old, and I have noticed that there has been a change in my father’s behavior. He spends too much time at the computer playing a war game. I have noticed how alone my mom feels, and I just want my father to spend more time with my mom. What should I do? How can I talk to my father? I feel shame for him. Please help.
To Robertson’s credit, his first thought seems pretty reasonable to me:
Maneuver something where you can get them out of the house into some, like, romantic resort for a couple of days, assuming they can afford it. I mean, take a weekend and go somewhere and just be alone with each other and see if they can’t rekindle that romance. The romance has obviously gone out of the relationship.
Sure, that’s a fair off-the-cuff answer. One kudos to you, Mr. Robertson. Sure, Maxim could have asked ten people and nine of them would probably have given a similar answer, but, you know, credit where credit is due and so forth.
But then Robertson made a mistake he has made so many times before.
He kept talking.
Pat: You know, it may be your mom isn’t as sweet as you think she is. She may be kind of hard-nosed. And so, you say… my father he’s not paying attention to Mom, but is Mom…
Kristi Watts: How are you going to blame the mother?!
Pat: It’s easy to blame the mother!
Minus 1,000 kudos, Robertson!
You just jumped right into your “The Woman Is The Problem” pool and splashed around, huh? Co-host Kristi did her usual uncomfortable laughter thing and you just barreled on:
A woman came to a preacher that I know — it’s so funny. She was awful-looking. Her hair was all torn up and she was overweight and looked terrible, clothes bad and everything, and she said, “Oh Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.” And the preacher looked at her and he said: “Madam, if I was married to you, I’d start to drink too.”
Get it?! She was ugly! Classic! I have tears here, you guys! Tears from the laughter.
Maybe we can at least take solace in the fact that Robertson probably made that whole story up, since it’s eerily reminiscent of an anecdote often attributed to Winston Churchill. (Punchline: “If I were married to you, I’d drink it.”)
Thank goodness this guy keeps doling out his pearls of wisdom. Or we’d all be lost.