God Clears Up the Record

God pops up in the strangest of places… like on this new Tumblr, where He clears up a few misconceptions:

  1. I love the gays. Why do you think I invented the prostate?
  2. I’ve never finished the Bible. But the parts I’ve read are hysterical.
  3. Lucifer was a story I made up to scare the kids. I admit, it got a bit out of control.
  4. Atheists are my favorite. They’re good at math, they write amazing television shows, and they never kill anyone in my name. Keep up the good work, guys!

And there are six more where those came from.

You guys, we’ve been wrong this whole time.

God is actually pretty awesome.

If the Christians had just told us about this side of Him, I would’ve signed up long ago.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • observer

    Now this is a God I’d worship…or perhaps a better action is mutual respect like a friend. You know, a relationship.

    Also, not to be a meanie, but God’s a teacher’s pet. :P

  • Marco Conti

    Yes, a god I can live with. But if you cannot use his name to make your neighbor miserable, where is the fun?

  • http://twitter.com/arctangentleman ArcTanGentleman

    I didn’t know Lucifer had a tumblr… impersonating God, again. (What? Someone has to play Devil’s advocate here).

  • JohnnieCanuck

    Seems like a nice sort.

    Clearly not Omniscient, though, or He could have told Gabrielle everything he needed to know about the wi-fi setup. That and known how to configure the universe for less suffering.

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    This God blows. It should have given women a prostate gland as well so they could also enjoy anal sex just as much as straight men do.

    • Edmond

      Bam. This might make a good “buddy god”, but he SUCKS at general creation. Prostate glands are the LEAST example of inequality and injustice on this planet. The “likeable” god in this spoof should be indicted for negligence. For STARTERS.

    • Stev84

      It’s possible for some women to orgasm from anal sex alone

      • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

        I’m sure a lot of them can but if they had a prostate that same orgasm would be a lot more mind blowing from anal sex alone. A lot of straight men are starting to truly enjoy anal sex because their orgasm is so much more intense during anal play. With our without a partner.

        • Stev84

          But female orgasms are longer lasting and arguably more intense than male orgasms to begin with. Men have to resort to anal play to catch up to that.

          • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

            If having multiple very intense orgasms that last several minutes is called catching up, then I’m cool with playing catch up.

  • Michael

    The puppet show Spitting Image had this side of God on the screens long ago. He was well-intentioned, kind and frequently exasperated by his worshippers. One memorable scene had him trying to work out how people got from him taking a Sunday off thousands of years ago to thinking that everybody should take every Sunday off without fail.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X