This Church Doesn’t Know How to Do Math

Over the weekend, I was handed a program from a church service. (Not because I went to one, but because these things just happen to me…)

I was going through the pages and suddenly came across the greatest thing *ever*:

I can’t tell what I love more…

The Bible-based, threat-like “challenge” to put God to the test?

The fact that there needs to be a guide on what amount of money constitutes a tithe? (I guess no one ever learned how to move a decimal point one spot to the left?)

Or the idea that a 10% tithe equals “1 penny out of every dollar…“?

We know science is constantly under attack by Christians… but who knew they were coming after math, too?!

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • guest

    is that a real 50$ bill? how cool is that? Buy a book or better, donate it to a LGBT group.

  • Vicki Williams

    Maybe it is just me, because I have so much trouble getting students to not take shortcuts when they are writing stuff out – but $10 does not equal $1! 10% of $10 = $1!

  • Julian M Bucknall

    I guess God has no rules about where to put spaces around equal signs though. None? Only on left? Only on right? Both?

    • attacusatlas

      Stuff like this drives me batty!!

  • Matto the Hun

    Like I told my dad last weekend, I’m in the wrong racket. :/

  • The Captain

    My favorite part is “You give god 10% and he lets you keep 90%” as if god is doing you a favor by not taking all your cash.

    • icecreamassassin

      I like how the Lord asks me to both challenges me to put him to the test and also to not test the Lord thy god.

      WHY DOESN’T THAT RAISE ANY RED FLAGS WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!???!!?!??!?!??!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!

      • LesterBallard

        Slaughtering children on god’s orders doesn’t raise any red flags with them. Why would the Bible’s inconsistencies and contradictions do it?

    • coyotenose

      Don Yahweh tries to get out, and the Romans drag him back in!

    • Verandaguy

      If God is almighty, he can probably manifest enough cash out of thin air to fill up a moderate-sized pool.

      • bernardaB

        As George Carlin said, God is all powerful, almighty, all knowing, but somehow he just can’t handle money, and he always needs more.

        • SaneMan

          All useless judgements by silly, stupid fools and idiots.

      • amycas

        But if god just went around creating money, it would flood the market with more cash and devalue it! God, of all people, understands that to really have a lot of money, it has to be worth something, and for that to happen, it has to be a scarce resource. If anything, I’d bet god is disappearing money instead…

    • http://www.facebook.com/rspurrill Ray Spurrill

      Why does god need American dollars anyway?

      • Truth1991

        simple, the vast majority of preachers keep the tithes for themselves, it’s why the get so pissy whenever anyone questions why the church has tax-exempt status, not having to pay taxes on the money means 1. they don’t have to prove what it was used for and 2. they get to keep all of it

      • raerants

        Same thing he needs with a starship?

    • Ibis3

      And yet these are the same people who call collecting taxes to fund the fire department “theft”.

      • Derrik Pates

        But you get a “choice” about this.

        Well, except according to this you don’t. So, uh, which is it?

    • Jett Perrobone

      God is like the Beatles’ Taxman:

      Let me tell you how it will be
      There’s one for you, nineteen for me

      Should five per cent appear too small
      Be thankful I don’t take it all

  • Cecelia Baines

    I want some of THOSE pennies!

  • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

    God needs food? Who knew. Next thin you know he’ll be wanting a starship.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkT1-N0VqUc

  • Sean

    Hemant, you have an advantage over them because you are a math teacher. :)

    • coyotenose

      He possesses the maths needed to calculate the tender, tender meat by volume on a baby and plan his oven time accordingly. Dude has skills.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

    (God walks into a small mom-and-pop antique store)
    “Hi ya. I’m d’Lord All Powerful, but some people call me Bruno. Nice little sore yous got here. It’d be a shame if a storm er earthquake er lightnin’ er sump’in wrecked it, huh?” (knocks over a small vase that shatters on the floor, ignores it.) “So’s yous need protection, an’ I can give it to ya. I jus’ need ten percent of yer gross earnings. An’ by the way I already knows how much yous make. So bring de entire ten percent to my office down de street, y’know, de buildin’ wit de big steeple thing. Bring it in cash in a paper bag an’ leave it wit my staff. (walks to the door to leave, looks up at the sky) Don’ wait too long. Looks like rain comin’. Heh heh.” (leaves)

    • nakedanthropologist

      Well played, sir.

    • Miss_Beara

      “I’m d’Lord All Powerful, but some people call me Bruno.”

      :)

  • ortcutt
    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

      But he loves you !

  • Question Everything

    Okay, I challenge god, and put it to the test. It claims that prayer can solve anything – why does it need my money? I say I spend money to get food for those who need it, bypassing the church with all its issues. I think I (and the people whom I help feed) win, and god still doesn’t exist.

    Also, math fail from the church, as many have pointed out. Sheesh.. get some editors…

    • blah

      Clearly you don’t know what you’re talking about. Where on earth does the Bible say that “it solves anything?” Quote please!

      • Question Everything

        Clearly I was posting on an internet forum where I was playing fast and loose with language, not exactly a PhD thesis or anything.. though the overall point remains. So let’s see what we can find really quick…

        Matthew 21:22 “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” – sounds an awful lot like “will solve anything” to me.

        Matthew 17:20 “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” – again, nothing is impossible, sounds an awful lot like can solve anything.

        John 15:7 “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

        Luke 11:9 “And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

        Anyway, I’m sure you can find loopholes in all of those, or anything else I quote as not quite exactly being “it solves anything”, which is totally true – the bible never says those words exactly, even if the theme of many lines is the same.

        So, then, back to my larger point of – I spend money and do works, and people get fed. What has prayer done lately?

        • blah

          PhD dissertation. Master’s gets the thesis. Oh boy…..

          I wouldn’t even say anything normally but since we’re calling people out on a simple mistake, two can play that game too.

          I also see a requirement in those verses, that the person is a believer. It’s not like a magic hat or anything. If one is a believer, there priorities change so the things they pray for change as well.

          Lastly, are you currently giving money to God? I would assume not. Therefore, to answer your own question, He doesn’t NEED your money. He’s doing fine without it!

          • coyotenose

            Okay, so a BELIEVER asks for the ongoing suffering of a child to be reduced, and nothing happens. Ta da! I guess he just had the wrong priorities in wanting a child to not be in agony, huh?

            If he didn’t need the money, he wouldn’t ask for it in the book he supposedly wrote.*

            It isn’t a simple mistake. Writing “1¢ out of every dollar” in reference to a 10% tithe is a simple mistake, as the zero could be overlooked. Writing “1 penny out of every dollar” is not a simple error. It’s fucking glaring; the majority of us would notice that instantly no matter the context, and we aren’t the ones who looked it over and approved spending money on it.

            Tithing money, no less; it isn’t unimportant that they guilt people into giving them very large sums which they then use to guilt people into giving more.

            *Apparently though, God’s followers DO need desperate, poorly constructed countermeasures against harmless giggles.

    • allein

      I used to proofread math journals. Editing the math itself was not part of my job. ;)

      • blah

        You must have great patience. I come to blogs ran by people with beliefs other than my own to avoid grading chemistry h.w.

        • Pepe

          What’s your point?

        • allein

          Imagine comparing an academic mathematics article, character-by-character, against the copyeditor’s marked copy to make sure the typesetter made all the changes correctly. Fun times. (Actually I like proofreading but that part can get tedious. The psych textbook I copy-edited in college was much more interesting.)

  • Rich

    hahaha… paying for your salvation. Whatever happened to just asking for it? Greed? anyone ?

  • Glasofruix

    You give gawd 10% and he lets you keep the 90%

    I already knew that christian skyfairy was an asshole, but a mobster, really?

    • Saneman

      Have you ever thought about why you have the hole at your bottom, and why you have to defecate? Don’t give me scientific answers relating to “hows” in the digestive system. Why is body designed like this? who thought about it? Think deeply. Think.

      • Glasofruix

        If you think deeply about the whole christian fairytale, adam & eve were immortal, thus the had no need to consume food and shit undigested stuff afterwards. You should try more thinking and less shitting, would be good for you.

  • Rain

    It’s interesting that they would interpret the 10% tithe part literally, but the “flood you with blessing after blessing” part is not quite so literal. Just kidding, they aren’t interpreting the 10% tithe part literally either because it’s talking about goods, not money. They’re only pretending like they interpret it literally. Lol, religion is hilarious sometimes.

    • allein

      I seem to recall the last time he flooded us it didn’t work out so well for most folks…

  • Ahab

    Ugh. You wouldn’t be giving your hard-earned money to God; you’d be giving it to other human beings who claim to speak for God. Funny how they manipulate the language to obscure this fact.
    Personally, I’d rather give my money to a human rights organization or a charity than to a church.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jennlynn1284 Jennifer Albus

    or the fact that god even needs our f*ing money. He’s god, what the hell is he gonna do with my cash? And then how they go on to talk about how wordly possessions and money are the root of all evil. Contradictory much?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

    well, maybe the pastor failed math class in school. or was homeschooled.

    pity people this stupid.

    • http://twitter.com/tardis_blue Tardis_blue

      Ugh. Really?

  • http://religiouscomics.net/ Jeff P

    “A tithe is 10% which equals 1 penny out of every dollar.”
    Now that doesn’t sound so bad. Just one penney. Oh wait…

  • Thin-ice

    And if I were still in the church, there was the debate about whether the 10% was pre-tax or post-tax. And of course those who could afford to tithe 10% pre-tax, swanned around as if they were more spiritual. The implication being that if you REALLY loved the Lord, you would tithe your gross income, not the net income.

    • http://twitter.com/the_ewan Ewan

      Since the US is clearly a Christian Country(TM) then I’d be more tempted to take the tax off the amount you’re supposed to tithe – looking after the poor, the sick and the needy via (amongst other things) Medicaid, is the Lord’s work after all.

    • Andy

      I always heard that in deciding whether to tithe pre or post tax you should consider how much of your income you wanted to be blessed on.

  • Cincinatheist

    Oh, Hemant. You’re being way too critical. That’s simply human editorial error, not an indictment of religion. Now, that thousands-of-pages-plus book that is thousands-of-years-plus old? Infallible. Free from all human editing, translating, and transcription error. Infallible in every way. Just like this simple flier illustrates.

    Oh. Wait.

  • JH

    This actually isn’t the Bible, it’s the Book of Mormon.

    • Carmelita Spats

      The quote is from the Bible, Book of Malachi 3:10…It was drilled into me from the time I was knee-high to a disturbing dogma.

      “10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”

      • Relationship With Reality

        Yep, I heard this verse referenced at least once per Sunday at the Assemblies of God (Pentecostal) churches I used to attend. Plus, there was a HUGE banner in the sanctuary of each franchise of the extortion cult that had the verse on it in big, colorful, sparkly letters!

  • A3Kr0n

    God sure is generous to let me keep 90%, and he only takes 10%. This is what Christians have been trying to tell me all these years! Yes! I get it now!!!

    • coyotenose

      At last, the sophisticated theology they promised us!

  • LutherW

    It really works for them. Just like the class dunce who could not do math, but became a billionaire. At a reunion someone asked how he made his money and he said “It’s simple, I buy these thingies for 15 cents and sell them for a quarter. I it is amazing what you can make with just 10% profit.”

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger?feature=mhee GodVlogger (on YouTube)

    George Carlin had a great skit about how the Creator of the Universe always needs more money!

  • Jasper

    It’s curious that they stop at $1000 on their scale, because if they put in “$40000 = $4000″ (for a median salary), that’d turn a lot more people off to realize they’d be sinking $4000 a year into something that’s essentially an entertainment industry. $4000 is a lot more scary than saying “Its only $77 a week!”

    • nakedanthropologist

      Poor entertainment at that. Really, what does one really get out of going to church? I mean, I understand that having an instant “in” group and community is attractive, and there are cultural traditions to take into account, but what are you really getting from a church service? In this racket, one is basically paying 10% to be lectured on a weekend morning when he/she/they could be sleeping, eating donuts, having sex on the kitchen table…the possibilities are endless, really. As you said, it is an entertainment industry – a strange and twisted branch of the entertainment industry, where one pays for the most horrible and boring program ever.

    • nakedanthropologist

      Poor entertainment at that. Really, what does one really get out of going to church? I mean, I understand that having an instant “in” group and community is attractive, and there are cultural traditions to take into account, but what are you really getting from a church service? In this racket, one is basically paying 10% to be lectured on a weekend morning when he/she/they could be sleeping, eating donuts, having sex on the kitchen table…the possibilities are endless, really. As you said, it is an entertainment industry – a strange and twisted branch of the entertainment industry, where one pays for the most horrible and boring program ever.

      • Persephone

        If I had no choice but to pay 10% dues to a social club, I’d choose a good tennis club over a church any day for pragmatic reasons. Tennis is more fun, is good for the body, and the required apparel is much more comfortable.

      • http://www.facebook.com/donaving Donavin Girard

        I feel sorry for you.

        • Epinephrine

          Go pray for us or something. We’ll be over here, enjoying life and mocking your beliefs.

          • Blacksheep

            For the record, I’ve been going to church for decades, I’ve never once heard anyone mock atheists (or anyone else for that matter).

          • Kspark

            How long will you enjoy life, sir? for another 10 years? 20 years? 50? 70? 90? 100? One day, you will die. Think about death seriously, and if you simply believe that there is nothing on the other side of death, you are wrong, and it is false confidence.

            But why is death there in the first place? Can you bring advanced scientists today (trust no future however pleasant), who can stop death for you? I am saying you will NOT cease to exist after your death because *you* are not your body. *You* are a real, eternal non-material soul with a temporary material body.

            You may not like to accept this, but you will have to wait until the day of your death. A material scientist, now or in the future, will never, ever be able to stop death. I can challenge you. And let me tell you something: “A person convinced against his will, remains of the same will still.”

        • Thackerie

          If that’s true, your priorities are sadly out of whack. So, I guess we’re the ones who should feel sorry for you.

          (Not that I really do; don’t care that much.)

  • Randomfactor

    Think “loaves and fishes.” You give a penny out of every dollar, and by the time the basket makes it all the way around, it’s ten percent!

  • baal

    I wondered if part of the reason Romney was so loathe to show his tax returns is that it’d make clear he wasn’t really hititng 10% tithe. Also note that tithing is usually to be done on gross and not net income.

    Also, another ding on the televangelists – the mention the tithe but don’t remind givers that 10% on income is the expected amount. This means they are taking more $$ from the faithful than God commands.

    • coyotenose

      The Romneys poured a huge amount of money into a tax shelter trust fund that was supposed to pay out interest to the Mormon Church every year as a tithe. I can’t recall what it was called exactly. The thing is, they were allowed to withdraw from the fund with little to no restriction. The story (unconfirmed by me) is that they put aside tens of millions this way, tax free, and would take back 95%+ of the interest to spend, sometimes tithing as little as two figures. Essentially, they were simultaneously exploiting the tax code and pretending to tithe.

  • http://profiles.google.com/davydd.norris David Philip Norris

    “‘Ey, I’m doin’ yous a favor here! You give me ten percent of your monies, and for a small favor in return I let ya keep the other ninety percent. All I’m askin’ in return is that you keep your women in the kitchen, don’t believe what those hoity-toity scientists tell your kids in school, and make sure the gays can’t get married.”

  • Chris

    Is it just coincidence that tit is the first three letters of tithe?

    • coyotenose

      I’m sure there’s a strip club joke in there somewhere. Or maybe it’s just that preachers survive on the teats of their flock.

      …Okay, I need a shower after that metaphor, yuck.

      • Cheese

        What is the deal with all of the thin skinned, overly politically correct, whine bags on this site? I’m starting to not like the gay and feminist hijacking of the atheist movement.

        I think you might need to see your doc for some meds to help you loosen up. It can’t be pleasant going through life perpetually offended.

        • coyotenose

          You might want to take a nap. Your random screeching doesn’t even relate to what I said.

          Jesus save me from pissy, half-literate, knee-jerk offended MRAs with persecution complexes.

  • Rain

    God: Bring the entire ten percent into the storehouse.
    Preacher: That means put 10% of their money into the collection plate, right?
    God: Um, yeah. Duh.
    Preacher: Okay yeah that’s what I thought.
    God: So there will be food in my house.
    Preacher: Duh, yeah I know how to read.
    God: Oookey dokey.

  • Greg G.

    There was a comedian who used to say the Lord deserves a Mercedes… and He wants me to drive it for Him. So send me your money or the Lord will find a way to maim your children.

  • plutosdad

    There is a non christian “spiritual” center near me my wife likes, they are not UU, but even they peddle this “prosperity” crap, and push a book called “The 5 Ts to prosperity” one of the Ts is “tithing” of course.

    I have never seen such a disgusting scam. Well I’m sure there are more, but that’s the only one I experienced personally.

    Also I am rather confused I thought we were not supposed to put the Lord to the test. I don’t even get it, 10% is only in one place in the whole bible, yet churches make it into the most important part.

    • blah

      Finally! I valid criticism of the church concerning tithing. The churches that are preaching 10% as a end all of giving are not teaching the concept correctly. The 10% was an OT law. The N.T. teaching would be to give more. No defined number, but that one should give until it hurts a bit or causes a change. Then you actually go about having something invested in it.

      Most churches, like most secular and religious groups I’ve been involve in have 80% of the work done by 20% of its people. The NT teaching is that a) Its not your money in the first place b) If you invest in something or “have some skin in the game” then you’ll be more active there to see things get handled in a way you agree with.

      • coyotenose

        Finally! I valid criticism of the church concerning tithing.

        Jesus, you are REALLY hung up on being offended by a mild joke.

        Your support of prosperity gospel con men is noted.

  • nakedanthropologist

    That is…wow. Ah, thank you Hermant – I needed to laugh today. “10% equals 1 penny out of every dollar” – for realsies? Tsk, tsk – whoever designed that flyer needs to go back to 5th grade.

  • http://twitter.com/arensb arensb

    I’ve often wondered how Republican budgets and economic policies, like lowering taxes while simultaneously increasing military spending and balancing the budget, are supposed to work. Perhaps this flyer gives us some insight.

  • David23

    The church takes 10% from you and declares only 10% of that to the tax man. Who says they failed math.

    • Derrik Pates

      Declare? Um, far as I understand, the church exception allows them to avoid declaring much of anything to anyone. The tax man doesn’t know much about what they have.

  • coyotenose

    So EVERY member of the congregation gives 10% to support a few people, sometimes only one, and to maintain a pretty building whose function would generally be better served by a nice yard. But these are almost always the same people who pitch unholy FITS about a small part of their taxes feeding and housing the destitute because those being fed and housed might be black Mexican sluts infant children of sluts lazy.

    Also, weren’t followers of Christ supposed to sell everything and survive by begging and faith?

  • blah

    With only looking at this flier, I KNEW you were going to say something stupid about how Christians can’t do math….and you did. Awesome.

    Not to mention you’re showing your true colors as a typical math teacher “Oh you just move the decimal….” that gets you a zero in my physics class! Dimensional analysis my friend is the only way to go. When I ask students to convert from let’s say centimeters to kilometers I always have students trying to give me some to do about King Henry and his chocolate milk.

    Guess what, a) We don’t serve chocolate milk at our school anymore thanks to the Liberals turning our children into drones by deciding for us what we can put on our lunch tray. b) Moving the decimal only works when things are a multiple of ten! Try converting parsecs to Angstoms. Let’s see King Henry do that! Or a simply time conversion! seconds to day. Yeah….not going to happen!

    All kidding aside, PLEASE, why did you have to go for the obvious “Ha ha Christians can’t do math!” I could easily say “Ha ha, all atheist math teachers use short cuts instead of teaching true methods of conversion” Both statements are just ridiculous!

    • coyotenose

      They actually did eff up the math in the program, and it’s unlikely that only one person looked at this before it went to print. It’s funny because the inability to do such things as basic math or understand irony, or is a recurring theme among outspoken conservative Christians. Repetition is humor.

      This IS a multiple of ten, one of the simplest units to work with, and they still screwed it up. There’s no need for complications during the correction process. It turns out that most of us are not and don’t plan on being physicists.

      With only looking at this flier, I KNEW you were going to say something
      stupid about how Christians can’t do math….and you did. Awesome.

      The title of the article was “This Church Doesn’t Know How to Do Math”. A prognosticator you ain’t.

      • blah

        a) The best label that I could give myself and have you understand it
        would be a conservative Christian AND I can do math. My wife fits this
        category too. Most of my friends are engineers and also could be
        labeled conservative Christians as well. Maybe we aren’t being
        outspoken enough? Maybe I should start posting every mistake I find
        that an atheist makes. I teach IB physics and IB chemistry, I’m pretty
        sure I wouldn’t have to look very hard! In fact, an outspoken atheist
        student of mine, just used the atomic mass for calcium instead of
        carbon on her h.w. assignment. Am I to assume all atheists in my
        class are stupid or substandard for it?

        b) It does not matter if you are planning on being a physicist or not. It’s
        still important to learn the proper technique is it not? I brought home
        pudding from Europe. Oh no! All of the measurements were metric
        but my measuring tools in the kitchen are not. Simple dimensional
        analysis solves this problem.

        c) Are you trying to argue that because one is not going into that
        particular career field, then they go ignore or only learn rudimentary
        skills in that subject? If that’s the case, why even go to high school
        and have to take English? I’m not a writer, nor an English professor,
        nor a book critic. I don’t enjoy English composition for what it’s
        worth, but I personally think the class is valid don’t you?

        • Ouigui

          Can you honestly say you wouldn’t be on a student’s case for writing something as sloppily stupid as $100 = $10 ?

          • coyotenose

            No he can’t. He just wants to be selectively offended here.

        • coyotenose

          It’s noted that you tried to pretend the part about just KNOWING what Hemant was going to say didn’t happen, because it doesn’t fit your narrative to have your massive lack of reading comprehension pointed out.

          The best label that I could give myself and have you understand it

          Pure narcissism. It’s interesting that you automatically assume that you’re the sort of person I was talking about. Interesting in a “confirmed persecution complex” sort of way. Your inability to grasp generalizations that don’t necessarily include you in also noted, and also, ironically, a common issue with people who want to be offended.

          A) Nobody implied that mathematically-trained Christians are lacking in mathematical skills. Apparently though, some of them are not very good at basic logic despite that. You implied that you read a lot of this blog, which means you ARE familiar with the trope of undereducated religious “authorities” spouting ignorant things thanks to Christian diploma mills, worthless home school programs, and underfunded public education in many religious areas. So, are you being dishonest when you imply being familiar with Hemant’s blog, are you unable to remember what you read, or are you dishonest in that you selectively remember things to be offended over? Take your pick.

          Criticizing laymen and relative laymen atheists for making highly technical errors in fields unrelated to atheism or religion is miles from JOKING ABOUT people who make serious basic errors in their own field. Are you so bad at the logic required for higher mathematics that you don’t see this, or are you being dishonest in order to score points? Again, feel free to pick.

          B) No, it is not always important. You have still made no argument that it matters here. You were just going for a cheap shot on a technicality, because you are desperate for talking points that support your desire to feel persecuted.

          As well, your complaints about Hemant’s work as a teacher simply do not relate, because HE IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL MATH TEACHER HERE. This is not a blog for his students. Again, you just want pissy talking points, and all you can think of is to go after the mean ol’ atheist’s job.

          C) Another false equivalency. Feel free to try again. Dimensional analysis is massively unnecessary overkill. You just want to feel superior.

        • allein

          All of the measurements were metric
          but my measuring tools in the kitchen are not. Simple dimensional
          analysis solves this problem.

          I don’t even know what dimensional analysis means, but I can google kitchen measurement conversions easily enough.
          Math is the reason I majored in English, but even I can figure out 10%.

    • allein

      So you looked at the flier before reading the title that you must have had to click on to get to the flier?

      • blah

        Nope. The flier shows up in my view of the story line. Sorry. I’m a visual person and look at the pictures. Just like me with numbers. If I see it I’ll remember it for what seems like forever. If you just tell it to me, I’ll probably forget. Even if it was the most important number in the world. :/

        • coyotenose

          I missed this while reading responses. The explanation, though, is thoroughly lacking for someone of your professed specialty and occupation. Ironic how that completely derails your attempt at criticism.

    • http://twitter.com/InMyUnbelief TCC

      Holy shit, you’re an idiot.

  • http://www.everydayintheparkwithgeorge.com/ Matt Eggler

    A Catholic priest, an Episcopal Priest and an Evangelical minister were comparing how they chose to divide the money from the collection each Sunday.

    The Catholic priest says, “I stand by the altar and throw the money in the air. The money that land on the altar is God’s, what falls on the floor I can use for myself.”

    The Episcopal priest says, “I draw a circle around myself and throw the money in the air. What falls inside the circle is mine and what falls outside is God’s.”

    The Evangelical minister says, “I just throw it up in the air and figure whatever God wants, He’ll grab.”

    • Evangelos

      this… is… AWESOME!!! Thank you! I will be using this!

  • LesterBallard

    Math; science; history. You name it.

  • rustygh

    Even the church knows its people are the mathematicaly challenged! Smart people are leaving the church every day

  • Anon

    How about this, o Lord All-Powerful.
    You give me 10% of YOUR earnings and I’ll try and do a better job than you re; feeding the poor, clothing the naked etc etc.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.hinchliffe Jason Hinchliffe

    So if I give 10% of my wealth, God will bless me and open the gates of heaven to shower me with good fortune? Ok, well, seems like the Televangelists are spot on then.

  • Houndentenor

    I didn’t find anything at all odd about this. Sometimes I have to be reminded that not everyone was raised Southern Baptist.

  • Zugswang
  • Mario Strada

    I guess the lord almighty didn’t pass the math test

  • Mark

    I never limit God to only ten percent of my income. Every payday I put ALL of my pay on the counter over night and tell God to take what ever amount he wants. I’m happy, and so far God has been very happy with this arrangement. My local church, however, is furious!

  • Mat

    I want to start off saying, I am not offended. But I am a Christian and I want to explain my side. I love my relationship with God. I love learning about him and talking to him. That’s what praying is. Taking a crappy day or a great day and telling Him about it. Thanking him. Telling Him what you need, or straight up complaining. Tithing is important. Not because God can’t figure out how to get money, because it shows you trust him, you help support the church which in turn they use for many things. One is helping the community. My church has people who don’t believe or will never come again coming in all the time asking for help. And they do it. We just did a 30/30 fundraiser. We collected 30,000 food items in 30 days that they gave to city organization to help people in need. God doesn’t NEED the money he can make anything work. My husband recently needed two surgeries and ended up the hospital a few times. It took him out of work for 2 months, that’s a 4000 dollar loss for us yet our bills are paid and fridge stocked. Because He is always there for us. And I am sorry there are so many crazy Christians out there. We are not all judgmental. I think that church that pickets the funerals should all get a good beating, I do not think Gays or Lesbians are going to Hell because they are gay, I know God loves EVERYONE, and all are sinners, even the saved. And being saved is a choice, and tits a choice because he gave us free will. Oh I also am not one those that believe he has chosen who will be saved. That is just sad. Having no choice in going to heaven or hell? What kind of God would do that? Anyways I just wanted to share my side. And though you will all ridicule me for believing or saying this I will be praying for you. But I have one question? Why are so many unbelievers angry?

    • Mat

      Oh I so just wrote tits instead of its :)

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      We collected 30,000 food items in 30 days that they gave to city organization to help people in need.

      Wonderful!

      Why are so many unbelievers angry?

      http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/atheists-and-an.html
      or
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUI_ML1qkQE

      And feel free to come back and chat if you have more questions. You’ll surely get some snark from some of us, but then you understand, we have to face Christians who ridicule us for not ‘choosing’ to be saved. It doesn’t mean we hate you. All of us have religious friends and family that we love. We just don’t always agree with them. I’m sure you have friends and family you love, but you sometimes disagree and argue with.

      I don’t mean to speak for everyone else, but mostly I get angry when people use religious arguments to affect others. The way I always put it, if you want to tell me when I can shop, or who I can marry, or anything else, then you need to have an argument that doesn’t start with divine revelation. Otherwise I can legitimately pull out my own divine revelation that says your divine revelation is just plain wrong, and we’ve gotten nowhere.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cynical-Christian/100000566021753 Cynical Christian

    1. Considering that Tithing was, in the original place it’s introduced (Old Testament), was for a party where you invite the poor, to make it into giving your money to the church is a huge misuse of the scripture, anyway.

    2. Considering that the sentence gets it wrong, but the information below it immediately gets it correct, I’d just assume that someone didn’t catch the typo.

  • SaneMan

    The Christian viewpont of atheism is not the only one in the world. Don’t think just because Christians are not perfect, you can make dastardly comments on theism as a whole. Mr. Hemant, that silly smile of yours indicates that you are bravely going to go to hell. Hell is temporary, not eternal, but terribly agonizing pain and suffering are a must to rectify you. After suffering become reborn as a dog, a pig, a cat, a cockroach, a rat or a microbe in faeces. Don’t believe it? Just wait for your death. Death can come anytime, don’t worry: in 1 sec, 10 sec, 1 min, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 month, 10 months, 10 years, 10 years, 20 years, 50 years, or 90 years. I WILL GUARANTEE YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIVE FOR MORE THAN 125 years. If you do live, sue me.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      I love it when people speak with such authority http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2L4TMQRzac

      • SaneMan

        Thank you Rich! But take me seriously. There is hell. Hell cannot be visualized by ordinary mortals before they die. The key phrase is “before they die”. Don’t forget this phrase. And what happens when you are about to die? A fearful visualization of your future suffering in hell, but it will be too late.

      • SaneMan

        Please go to to a dying man (it may not be pleasant) , but please and watch his behaviour. Try it on a fully convinced atheist, first. Please try it.


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