What’s Your Favorite Proselytizing Technique?

Today, during my lunch break, I walked out of my building in downtown Chicago to meet a friend across the river. It’s pretty chilly up here, but there were some young ladies handing out carnations on the sidewalk.

For some reason, I have a hard time not taking crap that is handed to me… which is how I ended up with a yellow carnation with this card attached to it:

Mohammed is a prophet of mercy sharing the language of peace and love.

Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said, “Be forgiving. For forgiveness only increases a worshipper’s [sic] glory.  So, forgive one another for God will glorify you.”

Besides making some graphic designers cringe, it’s pretty passive.

Coincidentally, I also came across this today:

Very tricky, Mormons! But you’re wrong: The only thing more satisfying than bubble wrap is stepping on a really crunch leaf.

So it got me thinking about what other forms of marketing groups (religious, non-religious, everyone does it!) use to attract people to their churches, meetings, clubs, etc.

Share your favorites!

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Dromicosuchus

    …Okay, that bubble wrap one is really pretty clever. I’m afraid both it and you are incorrect, though, Jessica; there is nothing more satisfying than popping bubble wrap.

    More on topic, most of the proselytizers hereabouts aren’t terribly creative; they tend to stick to marginally clever church signs, bits of text taped up on telephone poles, and small slips of paper with Bible verses written on them scattered along the sides of roads (littering, apparently, is only a very minor sin). Then again, I live in a very religious city, so I ‘spose there aren’t that many unconverted folks to proselytize to in the first place.

    • Stev84

      The only thing more satisfying than a square of bubble wrap are more squares of bubble wrap.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

        Bubble damn both of you, bubble damn!

        how dare you let everyone know my OCD secret?

        /pops bubbles with toes, worships holee bubblewrap

        • Greg G.

          I prefer CDO. It’s like OCD but the letters are alphabetical, as they should be.

      • allein

        Giant sheets of the big bubbles on a plywood attic floor. Stomp, stomp, stomp. :D (That was in the storage space of a department store I worked at in high school and it was sooo much fun!)
        .
        When I was in college my mom used to send me cookies well-wrapped in bubble wrap for stress relief.

        • Greg G.

          Cookies in bubble wrap would be better than getting free of religion. Glad I never had to choose.

          • allein

            The funny thing is I went to a religiously-affiliated college (Church of the Brethren; though it was not a “religious school”) and that is where I just sorta drifted away from religion. (Not consciously, though; I just didn’t go to church except holidays, mostly to humor my mother, and then after college I stopped all together. I didn’t really start thinking about what I believed, or didn’t as the case may be, until several years later.)

        • Thackerie

          What a clever idea! Tell your mom that she has a convert.

          • allein

            My mom sent me lots of fun stuff in college; I kinda wish I had kept track of how much she spent on postage. Just before Valentine’s Day my freshman year I got a package slip in my mailbox; the package was two big boxes, one fairly heavy, the other really light. The heavy one had a dozen cupcakes, chocolate and vanilla frosting, red food coloring, sprinkles, and bags of conversation hearts and red hots. It was a cupcake party in a box! The light box had a little tab made in the tape with instructions not to cut it; I pulled the tape tab and out popped a Valentine’s balloon (the helium even survived the day or two it took to get to me). :)

      • Lurker111

        Many years ago, when I worked for a now-defunct aluminum company, one guy in my department took a large sheet of foam packaging rubber that had stubby, fingerlike protrusions on one side and placed it in the well of his desk, flat-side down. Then he’d take his shoes off and rub his feet over the protrusions. Claimed it felt like rubbing his feet over a field of giant tits.

        On the other hand, getting back to bubble wrap, there is this:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co9daspLu8c

  • Achron Timeless

    Well, dunno about a favorite, but I have a least favorite. It looks like a folded $20 bill, most often left in lieu of a tip, that when unfolded tells you how important their church is. That’s just low.

    • flyb

      That’s f’d up.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

      A friend of mine waits tables and he says this happens quite often during the Sunday lunch shift. He says those things just end up the garbage, and they annoy the shit out of the servers.

      • http://profiles.google.com/conticreative Marco Conti

        I’d love to track down those dispensing such bills/tracts in lieu of as tip and hope they have a job in retail. It would be great to pay for goods using it and see them trying to get out of it.

        • Lurker111

          I’d love to see this happen in a restaurant with a grumpy Secret Service agent there to arrest someone for passing bad bills.

    • observer

      I’ve seen one that tell you how Jesus is more important then money. like to put such things in a church’s tithing plate.

      • observer

        *I’d like to…

        • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

          i guess no one here has seen the movie “the grifters.”

    • KT

      Cross out all the “GOD”s on the bill. :D

      • Achron Timeless

        cross out? pft. I have a STAMP! Covers up the “in god we trust” with “e pluribus unum” and has under it “federal endorsement of a deity or religion violates the US constitution”.

        I try to be professional about my profanity =)

    • Helanna

      I’ve seen a couple of those in things like donation tins. Why would anyone even do that?! Those things are just terrible.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw m6wg4bxw

    I always accept freebies from religious people. Then I discard or recycle them, gladly knowing that I wasted a tiny amount of their time and money. But my favorite is when religious people hope and pray privately for me, and I never know about it.

    Edit: Chick tracts can also be lots of fun.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw m6wg4bxw

      Also, stuff from a local church like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5oXDu_5ZeM

    • Achron Timeless

      I found 2 chick tracts in the same week that people had randomly left lying around. I’m trying to collect the set =)

      • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw m6wg4bxw

        I have a small collection too. My brother finds them in the grocery store he frequents. Apparently someone has chosen that as a place to distribute them, specifically in the flour section.

        Chick’s website has some of them available to view online, if your’re interested. I tried that, but I get much more joy out of finding and reading the little booklet. It’s like a treasure hunt

        • cipher

          I CANNOT understand the fascination many atheists appear to have with Chick tracts. That man is an abomination, and his work is an obscenity. I don’t think it should be trivialized by elevating it to the level of kitsch.

          • allein

            I’m amused by people who collect them (I’ve read a few and I wouldn’t want to hang onto them), as long as they don’t pay money for them ;)

          • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw m6wg4bxw

            I find some of them to be quite funny. The characters, situations, and the world itself in a Chick tract are often absurdly distorted and exaggerated. Distortion and exaggeration are important components of comedy.

            I am able to recognize the harmful or false nature of something while also finding humor in its expression and practice. I don’t find appreciating accidental entertainment trivializing.

          • ReadsInTrees

            I’ve never heard of Chick Tracts…now I’m curious.

  • http://twitter.com/JonelB Jonel Burge

    Diagrams that make zero sense.
    OOOH or those stories.
    About shit that never happened.
    http://www.snopes.com/glurge/bushpray.asp
    http://message.snopes.com/forumdisplay.php?f=12
    GLURG stories.
    Definitely something I see every religious person try to use on me. I love them because they’re little effervescent cultural tidbits. They say so much about the type of people that use them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bill.clayten Bill Clayten

    I used to worked in a restaurant next to a convention center. When the religious conventions come into town, we all knew that we wouldn’t make any money. A friend, and artist, took all of their little propaganda cards and flyers, and he made a mural called ‘What Would Jesus Tip’.

    • jackietrinity

      So that lady minister that wrote that note on her credit card slip wasn’t some kind of aberration, right?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

        According to the servers I know, not at all. Church groups are notorious for not tipping. It’s why no one wants the Sunday lunch shift.

  • Haha USA

    Dunno about you but that pbuh always makes me want to vomit

    • Thackerie

      I can’t help it; I always read that as “peanut butter and jelly.” I have a reprobate mind.

      And I’m enjoying it quite a bit.

  • flyb

    I once had a guy approach me in a Best Buy several years ago and started talking to me like he knew who I was but just couldn’t quite remember. He was pretending like he had my name on the tip of his tongue, so I told him and he was all, “Oh yeah, hey man what’s up? How’ve you been?” Of course, I was skeptical because I had never seen this dude in my life, but he had me believing in him just enough to keep engaged in the conversation. But eventually he said something like, “Well, hey, you know, you should come out to my church sometime…” At the same time he was pulling out a brochure from this bag. I finally knew I was being duped, so I gave him a WTF look and walked away.

    • http://twitter.com/Chronophase N Jones

      That reminds me of these two people that stopped me in the mall back when I was a teenager. They were talking about something I can’t even remember anymore and then they handed me a card for their church. I missed my bus because of them. Then the following week they somehow found me AGAIN. This time I just turned around and walked the other way.

    • xeon2000

      When I was in high school, I had a friend that wanted me to tag along with him while he visited a teacher during our lunch period. It seemed totally innocent and I was not told the nature of the visit. As soon as we stepped into the teacher’s room, I was greeted by the bible club and asked to sit down and join them for lunch.

      When my little brother was in high school, he had problems making friends. He became a prime target for the high school youth group. They befriended him and all he had to do was submit to their brainwashing.

      Those groups love to lie and use devious methods to worm their way into the lives of others. They’re no better than con artists.

      • pansies4me

        When my son was about 4 or 5 my niece’s youth group leader from her church kept going on and on about how cute and sweet my son was at her graduation party. Instead of feeling proud that he saw how neat my son is :) I was feeling very protective. I wanted to tell him to get the *f* away from him!

  • Banrion

    I haven’t seen many clever ideas where I’ve lived but shortly after we moved to our current town my husband and I recieved a hand written letter from some random senior. Neither of us knew her but it was addressed to us so we opened it. I guess this little old lady saw a new name in the phone book or something and wrote a three page letter trying to get us to go to her church. That’s religious boredom for you I guess.

  • Haha USA

    My favourite one is when they give out free bibles. I’m I the process of building a bar in my basement with all those useless tomes. Well, they’re not totally useless.

    • flyb

      How are you building a bar with bibles?

      • Sunny Day

        You use the most proven method for holding something religious in once place.
        You nail it there.

        • The Other Weirdo

          Dude! You nailed the Interwebz!

      • Haha USA
        • Lori F

          That is beautiful!

        • flyb

          That is awesome!

        • http://twitter.com/Freemage69 Freemage

          I admit, part of me cringes at the use of books in that fashion. But yes, it’s a fair use for worthless ones you’d just throw out otherwise.

          • allein

            Maybe that’s why they’re arranged so you can’t see the spines. I work in books and my computer monitor sits on an orphaned piece of a multi-volume set about French military history or something. I got a new computer a few months ago and the new monitor is adjustable so I really don’t need the book, but I keep it there just because it amuses me.

            Some cool ideas in here for books. I really like #17. http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/creative-bookshelves

            • The Nads

              Wow, people are so clever!

    • Edmond

      Caution: flammable.

      • Stev84

        It takes quite a bit of heat to burn stacks of paper properly. Most of the time it’s just the surface that burns a little.

        • unclemike

          451 degrees Fahrenheit, apparently.

        • Edmond

          Ok, well I hope so, for his sake. I just picture a large piece of furniture MADE out of paper, and one spark getting loose from a dropped cigarette or something…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

      My friend keeps a bulletin board with all the tracts and other evangelism crap he’s given. It’s pretty full.

    • bernardaB

      If they give you a thin version(there isn’t much in it anyway) with just the New Testament you can use it, or tear up part of it, to put under the leg of a table that isn’t stable on an uneven floor.

  • http://twitter.com/tardis_blue Tardis_blue

    We used to have a street festival downtown, and some local church would hand out balloons to the kids with a little slip of paper tied to it with a little blurb about the church, and the address. That pissed me off. I’d make my kid wait till we got to the internet provider booth to get one of their balloons. Currently, a woman in my homeschool group has been pestering people to come to some kids’ activity at their church. She emailed the group, posted on our fb page, and then at another activity, she was handing out little paper invitations. A. Once is enough, really. B. While that may sound expected to those of you who don’t homeschool, and stereotype those of us who do, our group is inclusive and secular, and this woman has never seemed to grasp that. We have more open atheists than religious members, and the ones who are religious already have a church.
    I think the event has finally happened, and her family is getting ready to move, so I haven’t bothered complaining.

  • Edmond

    I sometimes see flyers, tracts, or just handwritten notes proclaiming the love of Jesus left in the stalls or on the sink in the lobby bathroom of the office building where I work. I always grab them and pitch them in the trash before they can ruin anyone’s day.

  • http://twitter.com/angelaenglund angela englund

    Someone once handed me a Monopoly “get out of jail free” card but it was for hell, and had some sort of scripture on it. I laughed. The guy who gave it to me must have gotten the wrong message because he looked pretty proud of himself.

    • observer

      So…I don’t need Jesus then, with that card?

  • Jon Peterson
  • Rod

    Living in eastern Ontario I never see this sort of thing. We get the odd JW at the door, but our town sees none of the leaflets, streetside preaching, gimmicky things you mention.
    There may be a small number in downtown Toronto, but that would be all.
    Life in Canada has several upsides!

    • Houndentenor

      In NYC the JW’s would buzz every apartment in the building until someone let them in. I knew at least three people in my building who worked the graveyard shift so this was really annoying for them. One time my super chased them down the street with a broom. I gave him an extra big Christmas tip that year.

  • John_in_Vegas

    I always enjoyed stomping on bubble wrap pretending I was a tap dancer. Now even more satisfying.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Patrick/100000027906887 Adam Patrick

    On my college campus, there is a group of evangelicals who go around with these surveys they call “worldview surveys” and use those the get into conversations with people about religion.

    Questions like “What’s your religious background?” and “Where does morality come from?”

    • http://profiles.google.com/conticreative Marco Conti

      I got trapped by one of those once on a community college campus. I invented a religion on the spot and made them squirm for a while. That was before the internet and the FSM so if I remember I took inspiration from a Polynesian religion I had just read about.
      I must have been really inspired that day because I had them babbling by the end of it. Every time they called upon Jesus, I called upon my own deity and gave them back the very same nonsense. It worked much better than any atheist argument I have ever tried. They were simply not equipped to counter another god.

  • onamission5

    Town I am from in OR used to close off the downtown area for a children’s parade and (later) party every Halloween. One year an evangelical revival church bused in their young adults group and tried to erect an actual Jesus stand-in tied to an actual cross in the main plaza area. Up to that point the cops and spectators had mostly ignored them when they climbed on the statues or followed revelers around while waving bibles and preaching but acting out the crucifixion was a bridge too far.

  • Houndentenor

    I vote for the bubble wrap. I’d throw away the message part and pop those little bubbles all the way home.

    I don’t get a lot of stuff handed to me in Texas, but when I lived in NYC there was always someone handing me some pamphlet or other. Sometimes advertising a strip club, sometimes telling me about their religion. I try not to take them. I suppose it’s going to wind up in the trash eventually either way but I don’t like contributing to the mountains of useless items that wind up in landfills.

    I find all of them annoying but the worst were the people who yelled, rather loudly, about Jesus on the subway. Everyone ignored them. But the worst part is that they always seemed to come into the subway car I was on whenever I had a hangover (which was not all that often). They are the main reason I started bringing my ipod and earbuds on the train. Most of the time the train makes noise too loud to hear the music clearly but it helped drown out the idiots who thought that yelling at me about going to hell was going win me over somehow.

  • Don F
    • allein

      I like the rainbow version.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    Blasphemy! There is NOTHING more satisfying than bubble wrap!

  • Grammar Moses

    “For forgiveness only increases a worshipper’s [sic] glory.”

    Why the [sic]? I don’t see a grammatical error, just a social one and a philosophical one. And maybe a design error. Come to think of it, the grammar is just about the only part of it that is not mistaken.

    • C Peterson

      I wondered the same thing. I guess a low quality dictionary was involved, which only gave “worshiper”, even though “worshipper” is also perfectly acceptable.

      • Lurker111

        The original was probably “worshiper,” as the “p” isn’t doubled because the accent is on “wor”.

        • Grammar Moses

          Merriam-Webster lists it “worshipper /or/ worshiper.”

  • http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/ Andrew Hall

    A pretty girl once got me to hang out with Moonies in London. She just chatted me up, and I thought I was in luck. No, no I was not.

  • jboat500

    I carry little stickers with me with sayings such as “good without god” and “dare to think for yourself”. Whenever I see Christian graffiti, I place my little sticker next to their rantings. Equal opportunity. I just did the same thing with Bibles in a hotel. To be fair, they need to include all beliefs and non-belief without preferential treatment. So, I added another point of view. I’d rather not see any graffiti or proselytizing, but if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

    • allein

      How about the FFRF’s Bible warning label for hotels?

      • jboat50

        Love it! Gonna go order some!

    • Achron Timeless

      I just happened to have a sharpie on me one day in a bathroom stall that said “jesus loves you” on the inside of the door. So, reached into my purse to grab it and scrawled “but he hates graffiti so see you in hell” under it.

  • allein

    I think my favorite is the paper “prayer rug” I’ve gotten in the mail (twice). I’ve also gotten the occasional tract when I worked retail, a Tony Alamo newsletter on my car window when I got out of work one day, and the Agape folks have knocked on my door once or twice (also Mormons or JWs, I’m not sure which, once), but I’m not one who cares to mess with the door knockers so I just tell them I’m not interested and shut the door. (Actually, when the Mormons/JWs came, when I was home on a college break, I said I already had a church, which I suppose was still technically true at the time.) I don’t generally get too many people trying to sell me religion around here; at least not in person.

    • Achron Timeless

      Oh yeah, I got one of those once. Within a few seconds I started laughing when I noticed the halftone shading had the picture of jesus subtly hidden in it. Of course if you stared at it for a while it’d be more obvious, and thus be the “miracle” that you’re supposed to send money in return for. That and they were selling essentially vials of holy water with a handy mail in envelope as well.

      • allein

        Haha, yeah, my then-roommate (a Catholic school teacher, no less) and I had a good laugh about that one.

  • http://boldquestions.wordpress.com/ Ubi Dubium

    About a year ago a street preacher tried to hand me a tract. I said that I would not take it, but that I would trade him one of mine for it. “I’ll read yours if you read mine!” He actually took the one I gave him and as I walked away I could hear him burst out laughing, because I was carrying FSM tracts for just that purpose. The tract he gave me was some awful stuff about hell, but he got to read about the Beer Volcano in heaven!

    • The Other Weirdo

      Well, at least he had a sense of humour. He didn’t go all fire and brimstone on you. :)

  • http://twitter.com/silo_mowbray Silo Mowbray

    I do strategic marketing for a living, so I can’t just share my secrets with you here in a public forum. However, if you’d like to GET IN ON THE MARKETING SECRETS USED BY INDUSTRY, just opt-in to my mailing list and…

    :-)

  • Upaut

    My favorite was also the most effective… First day of college a churh was handing out Mini bibles, which we discovered were printed on slow burning paper, and vegrable ink. Perfect for the smoker on the go. My bible and bag of Bali shag golden in the quad was my usual pastime as I read. And I obsessively read what’s I my hand, so the price of every cig was to read a page of the bible…

  • KT

    At Dragon*Con, I attended a panel called “Stealth Skepticism.” Basically, it taught us subtle ways to promote skeptical thinking. Examples included leaving your old Skeptical Inquirer magazines at the dentist’s/doctor’s office or posting pictures of people like Sylvia Browne along with the words “Convicted Felon” and let people find out on their own. :D

    • cipher

      Browne is an excellent illustration of the reason fortune telling should be made illegal.

      And she’s still less offensive than most evangelicals.

    • allein

      Sylvia Browne did a book signing at the store I used to work at (more than once, actually). John Edward (3 times that I recall) got a bigger crowd but she still attracted plenty of crazies. As I recall (I was on the cash register and didn’t actually deal with her directly at all, but I heard stories) she was rather demanding about her beverage requirements and that sort of thing.

  • Randomfactor

    A friend was telling me yesterday about a tract left at a local cancer clinic, telling how patients should be thankful that the Lord hath given them cancer, so as to introduce them to all sorts of medical-type people and give them the experience of chemotherapy. Besides, every adult with cancer is “protecting” children from having the Lo-ard Ghod give it to THEM instead. Because Jezus, I guess.

    Yeah, I wanted to see it, too. There are days when I think religious sorts must have struck rock-bottom, and then they bring out the jackhammers.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      That’s gotta feel real good, “GAWD gave you cancer to save teh chillldrinnnnz”.

      *gag*

    • trj

      Seems God has a quota to fill.

    • cipher

      Yeah, ’cause God’s a dispatcher. He has all this cancer just lying around, and he has to give it to someone.

      These people shouldn’t be allowed to breed.

    • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

      Guess they haven’t heard of childhood cancer. Creeps.

    • allein

      Yeah, I’m sure my friend’s family would have been comforted by that when her sister’s first baby died at a month old from leukemia.

  • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ Bubba Tarandfeathered

    My co-worker will change the TV station or radio station to a religious channel when ever I go outside to have a smoke break, plus in the last 15 minutes of the day every Saturday he will pump up the volume on the Billy Graham Show when I go to the other room to do the end of day paperwork. So tonight I heard Billy Graham say on the TV “You are dead with out the spirit of the lord in you.” and he then asks “And what do we do with a dead person?” (pause)

    To which I reply loud enough for my co-worker to hear, “You bury him before he starts to smell.”

  • Helanna

    My favorite technique? I work at a 24-hour Walmart that only closes on Christmas, and it closes fairly late on Christmas Eve so most of us have to miss dinner or whatever with our families. But each year a local church brings us a box of donuts with a small, non-intrusive card politely reminding us that Jesus loves us. So I thought that was pretty classy and nice (and delicious).

    On the other hand, I feel like this is probably the same church that leaves those stupid little “Bad news – you’re a sinner and you’re going to hell. But don’t worry – Jesus can save you! Did you know he gave his life for your sins?” cards lying around the store the rest of the year, and those are my least favorite technique. Stupid church, in this country, if I’m not a Christian, it’s almost certainly not because I’ve just never heard of this Jesus guy. And if I have and I’m still not Christian, simply finding a little card that says “Jesus loves you!” is not going to make me change my mind!

    And every once in a while I find a Chick tract. I don’t even know many Christians who take those things seriously, so I don’t know who’s leaving those around, but Chick tracts make me angry and contemptuous for the rest of the day so I wish they’d stop.

    • allein

      Ooh, great way to convert tired store employees. Give them more shit to clean up at the end of the day!

  • rhodent

    One time I got home to find that someone affiliated with a Baptist church in the area had knocked on my door and, finding no one home, had left a light bulb (still inside the cardboard container) on my porch with a note with some kind of blahblahblah about Jesus being the eternal light or something. Not very creative in my mind (the bubble wrap is certainly more creative), but I suppose it’s more creative than just leaving a pamphlet hanging from my door knob.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Plus you got a free light bulb out of the deal. Can’t really beat free stuff, yeah?

    • allein

      Hmm…someone keeps unscrewing my porch light (I assume one of my neighbors though I can’t fathom why they hell they do…I live in a condo and there are no windows on that side of the building for it to bother anyone). Wonder if someone’s trying to send me a different kind of message.

  • Keulan

    Chick tracts can be pretty funny sometimes. My favorite is the anti- Dungeons and Dragons one. It’s just so ridiculous I can’t take it seriously.

  • bernardaB

    My mother’s house had a termite problem and we called an exterminating company recommended to us. I was there to make sure she didn’t get ripped off. A young very nice guy and good salesman came. After showing him around and then talking business, he guessed that mother was a Christian so he asked her about her church and talked about his, if he really had one. Good method. He saw how I looked at him and didn’t dare to ask me the question. Anyway we hired the company because the price was fair and it had a good reputation. Within a week they did the job and it seems good. I was impressed by the salesman’s acumen in addressing a potential customer.

  • Michael

    Many years ago I often stopped to watch the antics of a street preaching group and their audience outside the Museum Railway Station in Sydney, Australia. The audience seemed to be mostly alcoholics who were living on the street. They would usually chat among themselves until the end of the meeting when one of the preachers would announce that they were now going to their church in a nearby suburb. “If anyone would like to join us, we will drive you there, and bring you back after the service…”

    No takers. Nobody was interested – until: “We will be serving sandwiches and coffee after the service…”

    “Yeah, righto mate, I’ll come with you.” — “Count me in.” — “What sort of sandwiches?”

    And they would all pile into the church van and disappear up the road.

  • Good and Godless

    Letting their members die horribly of illness or abuse instead of allowing medical or psychological treatment.

  • RebeccaSparks

    I got a paper prayer rug in the mail, along with a return envelope to return the prayer rug after use.

  • Laura D

    I’ve been taking some training classes through work where they bring in a trainer or send us out to a seminar. The first trainer was discussing how to deal with difficult situations and had me read the Serenity Prayer, because when you can’t deal with your life, well, I guess there’s always god. The other trainer was giving some examples of ways to de-stress and handle high pressure situations and told us to add prayer to our list, because god is a great listener. The company, as far as I know, isn’t Christian and the pre-printed books never have any reference to god or prayer, but the instructors just can’t seem to stop themselves from adding it in.

    • allein

      “God is a great listener”…reminded me of the Big Bang Theory episode where Raj hooks up with some girl after a Halloween party. Obviously he doesn’t say a word to her, because he can’t speak to women, but she tells him he’s such a good listener. Maybe God is just pathologically shy?

  • meekinheritance
  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.bowyer.75 Matt Bowyer

    There’s this store up in Lynchburg, VA, that I visit all the time because they sell classic video games (I’m a sucker for that stuff), and the lady who runs it (who seems like a nice lady) likes to put these little cards and pieces of paper in the bag with my purchases, and it’s invariably something about the Bible, like a verse or something. Although one time, I found a Chick Tract in the bag. A freakin’ Chick Tract!

    • allein

      Does the store sell Dungeons and Dragons stuff? I’d love to see someone buy some D&D games and find the Chick Tract on the subject in their bag.

      • http://www.facebook.com/matt.bowyer.75 Matt Bowyer

        Yeah, I think there was some D&D towards the back. I say “was” because it turns out that the store burned down in a fire a couple weeks ago. Now I feel bad.

  • decathelite

    Every once in a while I get a goodie bag in the mail from some person I don’t know, most likely an old lady. It’s got a gideon bible, a tract, and a really yummy homebaked cookie. I rather enjoy getting these packages. I think, “bless her little old lady heart”.

  • Brennan

    I actually really like that one with the bubble wrap. Of course, if they really wanted to seal the deal they’d let me have some nice plates…


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