Beyoncé’s Half-Time Show Was Not Nearly Jesus-y Enough!

I have finally found my favorite opening paragraph of anything ever. It’s seriously the “Call me Ishmael” of my generation:

For many girls, the Super Bowl performances on Sunday were a celebration of femininity and girl power. Talented artists like Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson sang and danced on the media’s largest stage of the year: The Super Bowl. But imagine with me for a moment if all of this star power, talent, femininity and glamour was used to exalt the name of Jesus.

Oh my word, that had a surprise ending, didn’t it?

Alyssa Shull goes on to compare Jennifer Hudson‘s performance (classy!) to Beyoncé‘s (provocative!)…

Just a quick thought on that:

Hudson performed America the Beautiful.  With a student choir.  The Sandy Hook students, to be exact.  She literally wore a turtleneck:

Appropriate. Classy.  Also, expected.

I don’t want to go too much into the specifics what Shull wrote about Beyoncé’s performance, because it’s a lot of Bible quotes about how ladies need to cover their junk up and how we should do everything for Jeeezus, and we’ve all heard it all before.

What stuck in my craw is that Shull accuses Knowles (a wife and mother, let us not forget!) of hypocrisy:

Beyoncé has this beautiful gift, that the enemy (Satan) has twisted to use for his kingdom. Beyoncé was born into a Christian family and she said in one her first popular songs, Survivor, “I’m not gon’ compromise my Christianity (I’m better than that)”.

What is Christianity? It is following Christ. Christ has called us to follow Him. It says in 1 Corinthians 8:13 that if what we do causes another believer to stumble, then we should have no part in it. And then Jesus says that even if a man looks at a women with lust for her, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt. 5:28). The way Beyoncé is displaying her body to people causes men to stumble and influences women to follow her behavior.

I guess Beyoncé is Christian-ing wrong? Also, she is making all of those poor innocent men watching her show feel all lusty and whatnot.

There are two things that specifically bother me about what Shull says: First and foremost, Beyoncé can dress and dance however she wants. Shull says, “My heart longs for a generation to rise up and stand for purity.” You mean, a generation when young women who had sex or were perceived as sexual were considered impure? Because that’s still a mindset in plenty of places around the world if you miss it so much. In fact, Jennifer Hudson’s getup would probably be a little too scandalous for some tastes.

Secondly, wasn’t there a pretty important part of the Bible about not judging people?

If Beyoncé calls herself a Christian, then I don’t believe it’s up to you, Ms. Shull, to say otherwise.

So what if she’s performing for a paycheck? Are you getting paid to write your article? If so, does that negate all of the goodness you think you’re doing?

Honestly, it’s hard for me to pick apart this article because I think the whole thing is stupid. What Beyoncé or Jennifer Hudson or Alicia Keys do is their own damned business. If you think they’re bad role-models, then don’t let your kids watch them perform.

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Librepensadora

    Maybe using Satan as an imaginary enemy is a worse teaching of Christianity than that Jesus is our imaginary friend.

  • Chris B

    “Beyoncé has this beautiful gift, that the enemy (Satan) has twisted to use for his kingdom.”

    I cannot comprehend how any rational being could say such a ridiculous thing. Is Beyonce not capable of making her own choices? Or may be she can sometimes make her own choices and sometimes it’s Satan using her as a puppet. How can we differentiate when she made the choice and when it was actually Satan? Oh…that’s right…it’s based on your own beliefs about acceptability. I almost forgot.

    I occasionally wonder how some people escape their homes in the morning without wearing their pants on their head.

  • Mario Strada

    These people are nuts. I am starting to think that the secession idea is not so bad after all. Sharing the same planet is getting to me. You guys should read the comments on the other site.

  • ortcutt

    Doesn’t all of this stuff just sound like a creepy Jesus Cult of Personality.

  • Duke OfOmnium

    Another christian who somehow can see around the beam in her own eye to point out the speck in someone else’s.

  • m6wg4bxw

    Seeing that list of performers is more confirmation that I made the right decision to stop watching the super bowl. And, for what it’s worth, I don’t find Beyoncé Knowles lust-worthy.

  • Bubba Tarandfeathered

    Haters gonna hate as xianity seems to be of late

  • LesterBallard


  • Edmond

    “But imagine with me for a moment if all of this star power, talent, femininity and glamour was used to exalt the name of Jesus.”
    Yeah, just imagine what would happen! It would create jobs! It would save the economy! It would clear up the environment! Beyonce could have single-handedly ended world hunger, cured all diseases, and resolved all hostile conflicts on the planet!
    Or not.

  • David Kopp

    She’s writing about how women make men stumble, as if neither gender has any kind of agency, non-sexual desires or anything but raw instinct. Rationality is waving goodbye in the rearview mirror.

  • elricthemad

    I think Jennifer Hudson’s leather or leather looking outfit is kind of fetishistic. Like a kinky governess or something, but maybe that’s just my Satan twisted and perverse mind.

  • Miss_Beara

    Must not make those poor men stray. They have no control of their darned sexual urges.

    The comments on that site are both hilarious and disturbing. There are some crazy articles too. Yikes.

  • Fugen

    This is realy scare stuf.

  • Dave Johnson

    Spread the WORD

    they did not survive Armageddon…

    2 Kings 19

    “That night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand in the Assyrian camp. When the people got up the next morning—there were all the dead bodies!”

    i want to go HOME…
    i don’t want to deal with all these little atheist f*ckers anymore….

    Atheism will NO LONGER EXIST after we finish…

  • Drew M.

    Hrm. More Bulwer-Lytton than Melville, IMO.

  • Drew M.

    My first thought was Bangladesh DuPree from Girl Genius.

  • bernardaB

    Using “femininity and glamor” to exalt Christ? Isn’t that a contradiction? How does that concord with Corinthians or the general misogyny of the New Testament. Corinthians was written by Paul around 53 to 56 CE, at least 20 years after Jesus’ supposed death. Paul never knew Jesus and had just 2nd and 3rd hand accounts. How did he know what Jesus supposedly said? Paul was against men getting married unless their lust got the better of them.

    Matthew, a name for an anonymous author, was not the one of the disciples and did not know Jesus either. His book was written late in the 1st century, thus after Paul and he had even more doubtful information of what Jesus might have said.

  • David McNerney

    I would imagine that Alyssa Shull would have a stroke if she was even remotely aware of what you are talking about. Nobody ever got sexual pleasure from covering up their bodies – no.

  • RobertoTheChi

    I read the comments section. SCARY! VERY SCARY!

  • vjack

    Wow! That opening paragraph was priceless. It is truly astounding that people who think like that could write complete sentences.

  • NickDB

    Facts are the tool of Satan you evil doer

    /s in case it’s needed.

  • Rain

    She didn’t mention Rihanna? Way more evil than Beyoncé!

  • JustSayin’

    I hate when I hear someone use the term “the Enemy.” It sets off alarm bells in my head that I’m dealing with a true fundie.

  • The Other Weirdo

    Maybe it’s the Atheistic Satan(tm) in me that’s speaking, but I find it interesting that she’s quoting 1 Corinthians in support of the idea that Christ called us to follow him. Corinthians isn’t even about Jesus, nor was it written during the years he supposedly lived.

  • Tainda

    Thanks. I’m at work and now the fantasies have started lol

    Oh wait, I’m a woman, we aren’t allowed to think those thoughts! ;)

  • Tainda

    I like Beyonce and all but you can bet your sweet ass I won’t be dressing like her!

  • Gus Snarp

    Yeah, that outfit is just as sexy as Beyonce’s, it just doesn’t show skin. How absurd that this Christian writer thinks that exposing sin “causes men to lust in their hearts”, but apparently wearing a tight, leather look turtleneck that clearly reveals the shape of her body doesn’t. It’s just silly.

  • Gus Snarp

    Funny, just because I don’t like the musical style of a performer at the Super Bowl, I don’t feel the need to comment about it and how un-lust-worthy Beyonce is just to let everyone know that I don’t approve. In fact, I’d rather celebrate the number of women and African American performers at the Super Bowl than rant about the fact that I don’t like the music and would rather see more old white men (even though I, personally, think the Who is the greatest band in the history of popular music).

  • Jessica

    Hear hear!

    I agree on all fronts- celebrate lady power! Celebrate diversity! Celebrate The Who because Baba O’Riley is the most amazing song of all time!

  • Randay

    An evil doer, I thought that facts just had a well known liberal bias. I’ll have to change my avatar because the Church sign isn’t complete. It says,
    “A Free Thinker is Satan’s Slave”. For real.

  • Rain

    Quoting from the article: “…the Illuminati signs…”

    So yeah, con artist Alyssa Shull and her con artist husband and their con artist ministry are likely a bunch of con artists. (Which shouldn’t be very surprising.)

  • Bryan Johnson

    A gem from the comments: “Many Christian girls are a mix of the Devil’s hot sensuality and the Lord’s lovely feminine virtues.”


  • Mark Dorn

    “My heart longs for a generation to rise up and stand for purity”
    They did… in the middle east.

  • Rain

    I cannot comprehend how any rational being could say such a ridiculous thing.

    I can. Right here:

    Alyssa Shull and her husband founded Shull Ministries International. Through this ministry, they travel speaking in churches, hold outreaches overseas and host Skunks TV, a youth television program.

    That’s how they make money. Then they reinvest money in themselves in the form of publicity. It’s show biz, folks.

  • m6wg4bxw

    Also funny, just because you don’t like my comment, you felt the need to comment about it to let everyone know… oh, you see where this is going. Next.

    I think your idea of ranting is skewed. I posted two sentences, containing a mere two adjectives, and no exclamation points. It doesn’t qualify. If I ranted, you ranted doubly, at least.

    Regarding women, you seem to suggest — though I might be wrong — that I am somehow dismissive of women in this context because I didn’t take a feminism cheerleader approach. So, watch: “Hurray! Ssuccessful multi-cultural women!” I still hate their music. I sure as fuck don’t want to hear The Who in their place. I listen to what sounds good to my ears, regardless of who created it.

    In the future, I will try to limit the content of my posts according to what Gus Snarp considers acceptable.

  • Derrik Pates

    It’s the usual Christian bs – if you do what their god wants (or what they think their god wants), then it’s god’s doing. If you do something that may not be what they think their god wants, then you’re being a sinful rebellious bad person – or maybe it’s just Satan’s fault.

  • Derrik Pates

    It’s all about interpretation. Particularly interpreting the parts of the Bible to support each other. Even if they don’t.

  • allein

    I got about 6 comments in and my brain shut down.

  • J-Rex

    As someone who wasn’t allowed to listen to any non-Christian music for most of my life, I’ve noticed people have very snobbish attitudes about music. Everyone has a very opinionated idea about what is the “right” music and what is the “wrong” music and if you like something they hate, you have terrible taste in music. For someone who doesn’t even know where to start when it comes to music, I find it so confusing and frustrating when I mention that I like a song or an artist and people are like “Ughh I can’t stand them! That’s not even music!” Well…It’s something I heard and I enjoy it for reasons I can’t describe. How is that wrong?
    There’s definitely music out there I dislike, but I find it unfortunate that people have to go out of their way to disparage what other people enjoy. There is no right or wrong answer with music. People just like what they like.

  • m6wg4bxw

    I know some people have other reasons for listening to music, or other standards by which they judge it, but my primary goal is to hear pleasing sounds.

    You’re not wrong. If you heard it and liked it, then it’s the right music for you. Screw others’ opinions.

  • Gus Snarp

    Apparently you thought you were being funny (and apparently still do), but you’re actually just making the most tired comment imaginable, one that people have made since the first major pop star made a Super Bowl appearance. I’m torn between whether you sound like an old man yelling “Get off my lawn, you damn kids!” or a pretentious college music snob. Either way, no one is telling you what to say, I’m just telling you what you’re saying is bullshit. Don’t pretend that criticizing you is equal to silencing you.

    But obviously you got the message, and you are angry and defensive enough about that mild rebuke that I might as well pull out all the stops: On a post about what women and their role with regard to entertainment, sexuality, and religion and who can tell them what to do, your comment was dismissive.

    Also, your comment smacks strongly of white privilege. You’re cranky that the Super Bowl chose to showcase African American music. I’m sure you’re not the least bit racist, but maybe you can give African American music a turn once in a while without bitching about it.

  • m6wg4bxw

    I don’t know quite what how to respond. I’m baffled. How does such a comprehensive misunderstanding occur?

    Every assessment you’ve made of my character and actions has been inaccurate. The m6wg4bxw you described doesn’t exist. He’s a product of your imagination.

    Please understand that I’m being sincere. This is not an attempt to condescend, ridicule, or otherwise target you for cheap points. I honestly have no idea how you got me so wrong.

  • Wren

    Where are you getting the white privilege in that? He doesn’t like Destiny’s Child or Jennifer Hudson so he must think that all black people (or just black women) don’t make good music? Are you kidding me?

    I’ve never heard Jennifer Hudson sing anything I would want to hear again. Does that mean it isn’t my taste or that I don’t like half of all music made by black women or what?