Man Claims the Bird Poop on His Car Looks Like Jesus

… and he has a point:

[Jim] Lawry was in the driveway of his parent’s Brooklyn, Ohio home when he noticed the spot left behind by a passing bird. A closer look gave him quite a surprise and left him amazed.

Lawry’s son, parents and friends all came out to look. They too were amazed.

In an email to NewsChannel5, Lawry said he believed it was some sort of sign and wanted to share.

Well, holy shit.

I thought for a moment that Jim was a skeptic who was just having a little pareidolia-ic fun… but his Facebook profile suggests that he’s totally serious about this being a sign from (*ahem*) above:

I want to know how long it takes before he gets another carwash. Because, um, ew.

(via Christian Nightmares)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brian.westley Brian Westley

    Kind of goes along with Chris Ofili’s “The Holy Virgin Mary”

  • TiltedHorizon

    It’s a sign!!! Religion is shit!

    • C Peterson

      The mantra of the Church of the Sacred Guano.

  • corps_suk

    Didnt think jesus was white with a nice Roman nose….hmmmm?

    imagine being omnipotent and having to communicate through shit

    • The Godless Monster

      “imagine being omnipotent and having to communicate through shit”
      that’s just awesome…

  • http://twitter.com/TCarschaleir Riccardo Battilani

    Holy shit indeed, Hemant. Holy shit indeed.

  • fifthoffive

    Looks more like a Labrador Retriever. Oh my Dog!

    • OverlappingMagisteria

      Now that you mention it, I agree. It is a dog. It’s amazing how much of an effect suggestion can have. When I first looked at the picture expecting to see Jesus, I saw Jesus. When I scrolled back up expecting to see a dog, that’s exactly what I saw.

      Brains are fun.

      • Bob

        I saw a dog wearing a hat.

    • TiltedHorizon

      I see the face on mars. Clearly this bird is the reincarnation of Hermann Rorschach.

      +1 OverlappingMagisteria! Brains are fun.

    • Pisk_A_Dausen

      I see the love child of Jesus and Q*bert.

    • b33bl3br0x

      I think it looks vaguely equine.

  • The Fog Horn

    Holy shit…..nice one!
    Did you ever wonder where the term ‘Holy smoke’ came from?
    The smoke from a volcano.
    My Rock?
    A volcano.
    The god of the ancient Hebrews was an imaginery volcano deity.
    http://ohmyvolcano.blogspot.com

  • Claude

    Come on. It’s obviously a sign to go adopt a greyhound.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger?feature=mhee GodVlogger (on YouTube)

    After two centuries of shitting on humans’ brains, now Jesus is even shitting on our cars!

    Enough is enough, JC!

  • Rain

    Daniel Day-Lewis actually received an Oscar for this bird poop. Perhaps the greatest actor of all time. Can even play bird poop.

  • BeasKnees

    Snoop Lion?

  • A3Kr0n

    Its a DOG, damnit!!!

  • Gus Snarp

    Worst. Pareidolia. Ever.

    Not only is it made of shit, but they can’t possibly really think that looks like anything at all, let alone Jesus, can they?

  • Gus Snarp

    Every pareidolia of Jesus I’ve ever seen looks at least as much like Charles Manson. Just saying.

    • TiltedHorizon

      “pareidolia”.

      Nice. I did not know there was a word for that phenomenon.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger?feature=mhee GodVlogger (on YouTube)

        “Patternicity” per Michael Shermer

        • TiltedHorizon

          Thanks, I found the article on Scientific American, now I’ll have something to read for lunch.

      • Steve Bowen

        Subset of a more general pattern recognition tendency called apophenia

      • starskeptic

        Surprises me not at all…

        • TiltedHorizon

          Tom, it has been three days and I am the only person you seek to converse with; how telling. I’d be flattered but I know it is not me, it is the manifestations of your issues; damn aspergers.

          • starskeptic

            No, you can’t go back to the ‘A’s – we just got you to your first multi-syllabic ‘P’.

            • TiltedHorizon

              Oh look, another response. I guess this is progress for you, I told you to try an activity that requires another person, and here you are. Does this make me your longest lasting relationship?

              • starskeptic

                Your hand is your longest lasting relationship – but thanks for the thought – it’s sweet.

                • TiltedHorizon

                  That is true, Hand and I go way back, we share the same birthday. However I feel the same for all my parts and innards. You on the other hand, no pun intended, continue to pursue me across threads. Decorate your responses with denials all you want, your actions show your obsession with me. Bring Flowers & Chocolates on your next post, cause you will respond again, that little monkey on your back demands it.

                • starskeptic

                  Your attempts at finding out my identity means I’m obsessed? – maybe we should back you up to the ‘O’ words.

                • TiltedHorizon

                  yada yada yada. Where are my Flowers & Chocolates?

                • starskeptic

                  Your the one dating your hand- ask it, its vocabulary is bigger than yours.

                • TiltedHorizon

                  Ok. I’ll settle for Chocolates, but it better be the good stuff, not some snickers bar from the gas station. You really are terrible at this.

                • starskeptic

                  I know – your the only one who gives me practice at wooing the criminally insane – but, I’ll do it, I’m returning that snickers bar…

  • C Peterson

    That’s not just any poop. I’m pretty sure it came from a Cardinal! They’re in migration right now, after all.

    • TiltedHorizon

      *Cardinal* Keith O’Brien is migrating right as I understand. :) Crapping on cars does qualify as inappropriate behavior.

      • C Peterson

        Sorry, but I just checked. There’s nothing in the bible that remotely suggests crapping on cars is inappropriate.

        • TiltedHorizon

          It was on the third stone tablet. The one Moses dropped on the way back from Mount Sinai; Thou shall not crapeth on thou neighbors carts or wagons.

  • Bob

    Brings new meaning to the phrase “Holy shit!”

  • Fentwi

    Looks like a glamour shot of Dr. Zoidberg.

  • Bdole

    Don’t you dare laugh at one-turd of the godhead!
    In the beginning was the bird, and the bird was the word.

  • curtcameron

    Do you know what that white stuff is in bird shit?

    The only joke I remember my mom telling when I was a kid: “that’s bird shit too.”

  • The Chook

    Whatever happened to plagues and pillars of salt…..m,y I am disappointed…. the God of Gaps is resorting to guano appearances…….

  • Alexis

    I see a wolf. Jesus isn’t a zombie as commonly thought. He’s a werewolf!

  • http://www.facebook.com/travis.myers.102977 Travis Myers

    I wonder if he just answers “Jesus” whenever he does a Rorschach test.

  • mikespeir

    That’s a dog! An Afghan, to be precise.

  • CoboWowbo

    I see a dog…

  • Glasofruix

    I see a dog with a combover.

  • Trick Question

    Just sayin…

  • Roy Gamsgrø

    That’s not J-man, that’s a Storm Trooper!

  • Mairianna

    This dork contacted the wrong TV station in Cleveland! For those who know the lord in ALL his forms, Channel 8 News, sponsored by The Word Church, is the place to promote that sh*t!

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

    I’ve heard the claim that people have a “god-shaped hole,” but apparently birds have a god-shaped asshole.

  • Frank

    Naw, that is CLEARLY Stonewall Jackson!

  • Witchgawd

    Probably a bit of his brain that leaked out.

  • Aljaž Kozina

    I think it kinda looks like a horse.

  • pagansister

    What kind of bird would that be? It must be a special one sent from “above” to prove his existence? Looks just like crap to me—-and it would have already been gone from my car.

    • Mario Strada

      It’s a cock.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeffrey.crook.3 Jeffrey Crook

    Road Trip!

  • Mario Strada

    I see testicles and an erect penis. Then I see 2 eyes and the idea of a nose. If that’s all that’s needed to see Jesus, anything can be.

  • Karen

    It looks like the Salt Sucker from Star Trek (epi. “The Man Trap.”)(Okay, yeah, I’m a dork that I know that.)

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      For reference: the M-113 Creature, also called a “salt vampire”.

  • http://twitter.com/MilosCakovan Milos Cakovan

    Looks more like a dog’s face to me…

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    Huh. Looks more like an owl to me.

  • Jesus Smith

    That is not just any old bird poop. Remember the Holy Spirit appeared as a magic pigeon or “dove” at Jesus’ baptism. What else can this be but the anointing of the Holy Spirit?

  • OregoniAn

    Our Father, who art in Heaven, loved us so much he sent his only son – to appear before us – as a small shit stain on the front windshield of a mid-sized sedan.

    … seems legit..

  • Deven Kale

    Jesus wearing a ball-gag? I had no idea he was into that shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Taylor-Martin/100000135895003 Taylor Martin

    Looks like Swamp Thing to me. All bow down to Alex Holland.

  • cipher

    I’m not sure this man should be operating an automobile.

    (Also, Why do They think Capitalizing words makes stuff True?)

  • Sindigo

    Looks more like General Grievous to me.

  • SphericalBunny

    Splinter with a blow dry.

  • dandaman

    Looks like Marx

  • cgosling

    It really doesn’t matter if the Jesus poop was a real miracle or not. If the poop has the power to change a life that is good enough. The miracles found in the bible don’t have to be true, they just have to impress a few gullible people into improving their lives by accepting Christ as their savior.

    • Llibres Dor

      Mr. Gosling presumably has in mind the value of religion as a placebo. If so, granted that religion as a placebo may have a positive effect on the individual (“Oh, how terrible! My baby is dead! But that was God’s will and at least now my little one is in Heaven. God is taking care of her and someday we will be reunited”). However, the value of religion as a placebo is in my opinion offset by disadvantages such as (1) the tendency of religions to divide people into “true believers” and “infidels,” which possibly more often than not leads to strife, and (2) opposition to secular education in general and to science in particular. Wherever religion has receded into the background and secular education is now more dominant, as in the Nordic countries, people live more comfortably and more peacefully.

      • http://www.facebook.com/craig.gosling.944 Craig Gosling

        Llibres Dor – Of course, everything you say is correct. The placebo effect sucks gullible and uneducated people into religion because it makes them think they feel better. There are several excellent papers on the subject by graygoosegosling.wordpress.com.

  • Llibres Dor

    The following is not for atheists, who know all this, but for any “true believers” who might read this blog: The religious will claim that anything looks like whatever they find it convenient to say it looks like — for Christians, typically Jesus, his mother (I cannot call her “the Virgin Mary” because if she gave birth, she could not have been a virgin), or a cross, such as the “World Trade Center cross” (see the article in Wikipedia). Actually, nobody knows what Jesus or his mother looked like (if they really existed), though presumably they had faces considered typically Jewish in their day. Objectively speaking, I think that (1) the splotch looks most like the face of a dog and part of its left paw, (2) the position of the paw tells us that the dog is running, (3) the eyes of the dog seem to be fixed on something, and (4) the dog may be wearing a wig a little mussed on the dog’s left side by the wind, possibly created by the dog’s speed. If there were no Christian religion and there were a religion based on worship of a dog (possibly one wearing a wig), you could bet your bottom dollar that people would be falling to their knees, making the sign of the dog, and worshiping that splotch. In religion, the guideline is not “seeing is believing” but “believing is seeing.”

  • Llibres Dor

    After mentioning a few minutes ago the “World Trade Center cross,” I read thoroughly the article in Wikipedia on the subject and came across the following: “Some saw the crossed metal as a Christian cross and felt its survival was symbolic. Fr. Brian Jordan OFM, a Roman Catholic Franciscan priest, spoke over it and declared it to be a ‘symbol of hope… [a] symbol of faith… [a] symbol of healing’. One minister at the site says that when a family of a man who died in
    the attacks came to the cross shrine and left personal effects there,
    ‘It was as if the cross took in the grief and loss. I never felt Jesus
    more.’ [The beam was B]lessed October 4, 2001 [...]. On July 23, 2011, the cross was blessed by Rev. Brian Jordan.” To which I say this: since “true believers” see the metal as a Christian symbol, they presumably take it to be a sign from “God,” who was also telling us that Christianity is the one true faith. If so, “God” must have ordained that the building collapse in such a way as to leave the metal in the form of a Christian cross. If so, I ask: did “God” really need to end the lives of the several thousand innocent people who died such horrible deaths when the buildings collapsed and to cause such extensive havoc in other ways too just in order to leave us a “symbol of hope” and of “faith”? And of hope in what (that the next time “God” decides to leave us a symbol, fewer innocent lives will be sacrificed?) and of faith in what (a sadistic “God”?)? Should not “God’ have prevented the tragedy of 11 September 2001 and its aftermath and sent us a symbol at no cost whatsoever, say, a huge biodegradable cross that suddenly arose at the North Pole?

  • Paula M Smolik

    It looks like the Beast in the TV show.


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