How Gay Marriage Will Affect Society… According to a Christian Apologist

I swear to you I thought this was a Poe… until I saw that the comments were disabled, which makes me think it must actually be a Christian.

In any case, these are 50 ways that this Christian believes marriage equality will hurt society:

My favorites:

  • 6. You will have to call your brother a “she.”
  • 17. Lesbians will destroy church services with condoms.
  • 22. Since a lot of people (a.k.a. Christians) won’t attend gay weddings, they will be sad events. So gay unions will lead to joyless weddings.

That same YouTube channel also features a Christian girl speaking out in rhyming verse against homosexuality (a la Jefferson Bethke).

Someone please tell me it’s not real…

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Baby_Raptor

    The Right is always the one complaining that they’re being “censored” and “denied their First Amendment rights”…But it’s always those same people who don’t allow for dissent.

    • Houndentenor

      They believe their 1st amendment rights include freedom from criticism.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

    I listened to the first five before I had to quickly empty my colon, and I need not torture myself by listening to any more. Calling this ignorant buffoon an “apologist” is an honor, dubious even in the most favorable of circumstances, that he will never, ever deserve. He makes each “case” from inside his bigot’s intractable assumption that the prejudice is necessary, inevitable, unchangeable, and fully justified. He doesn’t even rise to the level of psychobabble or philosobull. This is the kind of sneering, let’s-feel-superior-to-the-fags, unsubstantiated crap spewed after two beers in a bar by trucker-capped bumpkins who are admired by their friends because they actually graduated from high school.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513566395 Jackie McClanahan

    Wait, was he meaning to include trans* people in there, or does he think that somehow by marrying your same gender, you have to change your gender? Or want to? Or what? And to me, if I marry someone and we divorce because that person is actually not into chicks, that’s a much better feeling than because they just don’t love me any more or whatever.

    • Stev84

      I haven’t and won’t watch it, but marriage equality helps gay trans people just as well. At least when they can legally change their birth certificate. Ironically, in places like Texas gay trans people can have a same-sex wedding.

  • http://twitter.com/lisa_ms1 lisa

    I feel bad I could not make it past seven. I am now going to analyze life and get depressed trying to figure out why some people can think like that.

    • Claude

      Don’t feel bad. I made it to 3.

      • McFidget

        I got to four, very nearly punched a hole in my screen.

    • observer

      Consider yourself lucky. I listened through all 50…my brain may never
      walk again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1220871538 Alan Eckert

    I’m calling Poe. He mentioned “Christians being demonized,” but he then used “they” and not “we.”

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    Umm, what is with all of the transgender stuff? What does that have to do with marriage?

    • Achron Timeless

      Well, it can get tricky depending on where you live. It’s one of the reasons I’m holding off on changing any legal stuff for a while because it’ll annul my marriage in the state I live in.

      edit: either that or we’ll be the first legally married lesbian couple in KY if they drop the ball on that.

      • Helanna

        From the admittedly little I know of Kentucky, I feel like that would give half the more conservative inhabitants a heart attack.

        • Achron Timeless

          And I look forward to that day with joy in my heart.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=569751370 Julie Shasta ‘Scathach’ MacTir

    Um… I’m from Canada. We allow gay marriage here. And we have problems – the usual problems that stem from people being human. People love each other, people get married, sometimes it doesn’t work out, sometimes people break up. The drama is pretty similar.

    What I love about this video is how the narrator seeks to place outside problems on the shoulders of the ‘queers’ he blames for OMG SOCIETEH DOWNFALLZ LOL. Bullying? Gay person’s fault. Family problems? It’s because you’re gay. If you break up because you aren’t compatible any more? Well, it must be the gay talking. Why doesn’t it hurt to exhibit this amount of stupid?

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I bet he spends a lot of time rubbing one out to gay porn. Only someone with suppressed homosexual thoughts would go on a rant like this.

    • Octoberfurst

      I would be willing to be he does too. People who get really agitated about “queers” tend to be closet gays. At least that is how it seems to me. And he also sounds rather effeminate. (Not that that is proof of anything but it just makes me wonder.)

    • Doug Scott

      Soundz likey ur speekin frum ‘speriense dudette.sad& sic

      • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

        Go fuck a duck sideways you worthless cunt.

  • http://anonatheist.wordpress.com/ Mike Hunt

    For a laugh I’ve been occasionally listening to the local religious radio station and sometimes catch the American Family Radio and I’ve got to say, the Christian right does talk like this, I don’t think it’s a Poe. I’m confident it’s real.

  • Miss_Beara

    You know the Christian Right is crazy when it is impossible to spot Poe’s anymore.

    • TheBlackCat13

      The whole point of Poes is that it was never possible to spot them.

    • observer

      To rephrase myself: If you can’t tell the diffrence between a parody and the real thing, that’s a clue that the real thing shouldn’t be taken seriously.

    • Ian Glazko

      Someone famous (I forget who and am too lazy to Google) once said, “Any sufficiently thorough parody is indistinguishable from the original.”

  • Gaby A.

    I’m pretty good at spotting POE’s, having been on the born-again side…and this one baffles me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.potter.73 Matt Potter

    I checked out the channel on youtube and there are 3 videos. The oldest is from June and is entitled ‘Rated T for Tolerance’. If this person is a Poe then they are a good one. Here is their own summary, there is too much ignorance to address.

    “Equality or Freedom?
    Jesus didn’t come to make our lives fair, but to set us free.To
    become born again and have our mind renewed through Christ is true
    Freedom through Righteousness; not Equality through fairness. Love is
    not a right; it is a God-given privilege bought at an extreme price —
    death on a cross. Jesus freely gave His life for you and me so we can
    have the privilege to be with Him in Heaven. God only ordains, blesses,
    and accounts for marriage as being a covenant between a husband and
    wife. Society, however, will always find cheap imitations of the real
    thing, promote it, then sell it. Realize this is not hate speech, I
    speak every word out of love.
    Love is a choice.”

  • observer

    Seriously, this guy can’t comprehend that your sexual orientation is independent of your physical gender. If you’re attracted to guys, he believes that you think of yourself as a girl, regardless of your gender; likewise if you’re attracted to gals. He also can’t seem to comprehend two fathers (or mothers). It’s always one’s the father, but what do you call the other male spouse? Me thinks he’s the one who’s “sexually confused”.

    Oh, and of course, sex (or perhaps more accurately, our genitals) are made for makin’ babies.

    #19 “You have to interact with society. And because with that [SSM] does affect society.”
    …Okay, so SSM affects society due to the federal benifits. That dosen’t really make it a good point that it’s a negative thing, especially since heterosexual marriages affect society in a similer mannor. You’re just saying “See, SSM does affect society. So that automatically validates all of the fears me and other homophobes have mentioned about SSM.”

    #20 Seriously, this guy is saying that a child comming out of the closet is a bad thing…for the friends and family. Oh boo-hoo, now the family will have to treat their son/daughter like crap; they don’t want to, but they have to.

    #28 Wow, your friend left you, not because you were being a jerk to him, but because of his own “perversion”…as I typed that out, that really doesn’t make sense to me.
    On the flip side, maybe we’ll have a homophobe too honest to give that “I have gay friends, but…” crap.

    Oh yeah, apprently homosexuality and Christianity are compleate polor opposites.

    As for the rest, they’re too ridiculous. Especially 22 to 24. And some are just too stupid, like 36 to 38, 42 & 46. Frankly I’m just going to take the Brian Griffin route:it’s easier just to call this guy stupid.

    Btw, if it was possible, should we take the effort to contact this guy, and show this guy the true perversions that happen in the Bible?

    • Stev84

      It’s like the former baseball player who just advised athletes to stay in the closet because coming out would hurt the straight player’s “feelings”.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw m6wg4bxw

    I quit after hearing the first example. I can rarely tolerate this sort of thing anymore, satirical or genuine.

  • fsm

    I only got to number 2; “oh duuuuuuude, you’re being…”. I had to quit right there.

  • ecolt

    Wow Richard, you made it through five? I got halfway through #3. To that point it was basically saying gay men (why only men, I don’t know) should be miserable and live a lie just to avoid hurting the woman they’re married to, even though staying in a marriage they don’t want will end up hurting her as well. Yep, that sounds like the best possible solution! Not to mention that those three are “arguments” against homosexuality itself – whether or not that man is free to marry another man doesn’t come into play.
    Ugh, I feel ill now.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      Ya, #3 is where I bailed. I knew a woman who’s ex was gay. They remained great friends and parents, but it was a load off for both of them for him to finally be out with it, and it in particular she stopped worrying about it being her fault.

      If we had gay marriage, (not having listened to the rest of his crap) I’m guessing most of it wouldn’t come up in the first place. Not having gay marriage causes all the examples he seems to be starting on.

      • Stev84

        I’m don’t think gay marriage would stop such opposite-orientation marriages entirely. A lot of people enter them because 1.) they don’t realize their are gay, or 2.) they don’t accept it and think marrying someone will turn them straight

    • Stev84

      All of the major anti-gay organizations are against gay people themselves. Even NOM finally dropped the facade. For years they have claimed that they were only advocating against same-sex marriage, but several of their top people are regularly praising ex-gay therapy now or saying gay people should remain celibate.

    • Octoberfurst

      Hey I made it all the way to #30 before I had to stop. I really wanted to listen to all of it but I just couldn’t take the insane bullshit anymore. Every “point” he made against gays–or “queers” as he called them–was idiotic & hateful. I noticed that he made a lot of references to articles from WND–you know, the loony far-right website for bigots and crackpots. What a “surprise” that he frequents that site.
      He’s just your typical right-wing Christian with a persecution complex and I will bet he is a closet homosexual. That’s just my 2 cents worth.

  • Bubba Tarandfeathered

    Two words come to my mind from this you tube posters channel “Dick-tater” Comments disabled means the poster can’t handle criticism of his work, he holds a tyranny of thought and feels self righteous and entitled. He probably has a fan base off site like on facebook of whom regularly strokes his ego with affirmative accolades, but in reality he is insecure and lacks any real sense of self esteem.

  • Lizzy

    I’m pretty sure that a lack of Christians at an event makes it more fun not less.

  • Camorris

    I picture this man as a school yard bully that got faced down and humiliated but has not learned the lesson.

  • Chad

    Summation 1-50: gay people make me feel icky.

  • ruth

    I got through all of them because it helps me understand how certain people think. For example, his counter argument to the argument “when did you choose to be straight” was that the default position is straight so straight isn’t a choice, and gay is the hack, the choice. Interesting rationalization.

    Otherwise, most wasn’t interesting. You know, lots of “disgusting in the sight of god”, “queer agenda,” and taking us to court crap. Very much a bigot. As with all bigots, the narcissism is strong. It is all about him. He is the most upset about integrating gays into the boyscouts, even raising his voice.

    He lost steam at number 35 because clearly number 36 forward was recorded at a different time.

    I don’t think this is a Poe as I have no problem recognizing it as genuine.

    His conclusion talks about how people have called him stupid and retarded and how those people are the ones who are hateful. He also talks about how people took down his Youtube account. So, I think he disabled comments so he wouldn’t get upset.

  • martinrc

    It it just me or do most of these sounds like reasons to support gay marriage, because in a huge number of his examples, the spouse gets hurt because the other spouse isn’t really into them sexually, which would have never happened if people were allowed to follow their own sexual preferences and marry who they want.

    • allein

      It’s at least an argument for accepting gay people as they are and not trying to force them to be straight. If people could just live their lives as gay people, even if they couldn’t marry, they wouldn’t feel the need to be marrying the opposite gender just to keep up appearances. I only made it to about 1 and a half, but the first one assumes gay/straight marriages would only break up because the gay people suddenly have the option to marry, as if it doesn’t already happen just because one partner person finally realizes they are gay and/or just can’t keep up the sham marriage anymore. Whether or not they can actually marry someone of the same gender has nothing to do with it. As someone else pointed, it’s an “argument” against being gay, not same sex marriage.

  • Drew M.

    Love the unintentional irony of claiming “this video contains free speech” whilst disabling comments.

    That’s as far as I got.

    • Stev84

      Also a complete misconception about what free speech means

  • Anon

    Example 1: So your partner hypothetically divorcing you for a younger, attractive person of the opposite sex would be less humiliating that your partner hypothetically divorcing you because they’ve accepted that they aren’t straight and would like to pursue a relationship with somebody of the same gender as them.

    Example 2: So you’re what…supposed to stay in a marriage where you are quite possibly not physically attracted to your partner at all?

    Example 3: I am all for trans* rights but what exactly does this have to do with same-sex marriage?

    Example 4: Again, very little to do with same-sex marriage. But from what I’ve observed on parenthood, it’s very little about gender and very much about actions.

    Example 5: If we lived in a less homophobic society, this wouldn’t even be a problem.

    Example 6: Actually, that would be a perfectly acceptable and non-problematic response if not for idiots like this

    Example 7: What exactly does this have to do with same-sex marriage. The past four examples have all been predicated on one parent being trans* which is not really the point of same-sex marriage.

    Example 8: This is even more specious reasoning than the past four.

    Example 9: This is just you being bigoted numbskulls.

    Example 10: So, people being homophobic and transphobic is a reason to stay in a situation you are not comfortable with (being in the closet, living as the wrong gender).

    Example 11: So a gay or lesbian couple adopting kids whose biological parents (likely straight) didn’t want them is ‘against the family’? That is not earth logic.

    Example 12: Because heaven forbid doctors should be required to give aid equally to people. Oh wait, they are. If you accept a position in a field where you are required not to discriminate, then surprisingly you are REQUIRED not to discriminate.

    Also, why is that all these straight, right wing Christians seem to know what ‘The Radical Gay Agenda’ is but this liberal, atheist lesbian never got the memo? Seriously, where is my copy of ‘The Radical Gay Agenda’

    Example 13: I would guess you’d call him your ‘stepfather’. Or, by his first name (depending on how old you were at the time).

    Example 14: So you being a bigot and getting CALLED on being a bigot is a reason that I shouldn’t be allowed to marry somebody I love? I have no problem with Christians who have no problem with me. To pull out an old chestnut, I have a close friend who is a fairly liberal Christian, she gave me a hug and told me that it didn’t change a thing when I told her that I’m a lesbian.

    Example 15: No I don’t. I do not have male organs (and I checked). But going with the iPhone example. Yes ios is the default if you CHOOSE to buy an iPhone. But the point is, you CHOSE to buy an iPhone. I chose to buy an adroid phone.
    Example 16: Because they’re making lists like this. If I have heard you make homophobic statements before or I know you are a member of a homophobic church then I am going to assume based on evidence that you are judging me. Also because I don’t tend to pull out the ‘judge not lest ye be judged’ until somebody has MADE a judgemental statement.
    And now I’m going to give up and go eat some icecream, this is depressing.

  • SeekerLancer

    The first few of these were all under the assumption that there are tons of married gay men who are just waiting for gay marriage to be legal so they can get divorced and go be gay.

    Then the next few talk about the poor family members who have to admit they have a gay in the family.

    And a lot of them talk about gender confused people who might not even necessarily be gay.

    And then I couldn’t listen to any more of it. But no, I heard no reasonable, logical arguments of how same-sex marriage will negatively effect society. If this is a POE, well done. If not, then I don’t really know what to say.

  • KristenPB

    Same sex weddings are sad because the couple doesn’t have the acceptance of many people, so they have very few guests. What? So they shouldn’t get married at all? As a straight female, I would have married my husband even if we were the only two attendees! It’s about that other person and your love and commitment, not how many people attend. The point is that LGBT couples have the right to HAVE A FREAKING WEDDING DAY!! In no other aspect that I can think of does the law pay attention to gender except when it comes to who can marry whom. It’s wrong, it needs to be changed, and it WILL happen. Illogical people like this YouTuber notwithstanding.

  • Waltz707

    My favorite has to be 28…. (12:55) Although when he asks “how we feel about that”, right before… *face to hand maneuver completed!*

  • Houndentenor

    I hate the word “tolerant”. It’s been years since I’ve heard it used by anyone but a bigot trying to beat up on liberals. They are mad because straight white male evangelicals don’t get to make everyone else hide in the closet any more. I don’t want to silence them. I’m happy just to laugh at their ignorance so long as they don’t interfere with my rights. They still are.

    Listen up bigoted assholes. I don’t give a fuck about being “tolerated”. I have the same rights that you do. I don’t care whether you like that or not. Whine all you want to. Just stop using the legislatures and the courts to deny me rights.

  • http://www.facebook.com/trisha.haertle Trisha Haertle

    I think this video gave me brain cancer just listening to it… I couldn’t get past #7 before I had to turn it off in fear of my brain matter melting from the stupidity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hippy.poet.9 Hippy Poet

    cheers mate! that was wonderful. however there is a weak link in your chain of logic…it was the word logic. you should look up words first before using them. this is just a helpful hint from one human to another, a concept you clearly do not understand.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hippy.poet.9 Hippy Poet

    oh yeah, in the bible it says that god created gays, thought you should know. I mean I TRULY thought you should know because as a believer you should have at least once read the whole basis for the belief…that would be logical! :)
    Also, judging others is a sin as only god as the right to do so…by judging others you place yourself as equal to god and that is a grave sin indeed. enjoy hell with all the other gays you hate so much.

  • Carpinions

    OK, I get that some people here cannot stomach stupidity like this for more than a couple minutes because it’s almost like watching someone abuse themselves publicly by willfully and wantonly remaining ignorant legally at the expense of the oppressed. It can be almost self-flagellating to listen to someone like Rush Limbaugh, a model of know-nothingness writ large, projectile vomit lies over the air because you pretty get a sense he’s wrong just by the way he uses “common sense” to distill everything down to his position, but don’t have the facts immediately at hand to scream out why. But this dude…this comes off as a farce taken by itself. I’ll go out on a limb and say this is not a Poe, largely because of the restriction from comments.

    Seriously, many of this guy’s examples are merely the ways in which civil society would dare to make certain Christians not be complete bigots and bullies in public without receiving blowback. Others have to do with the anti-gay fetish and situations only a pants wetter like this could conceive of as examples of counter discrimination in its purest form, like the aforementioned #6, or the one about claiming medical benefits at work and what’s to stop a male worker’s brother from abusing the system. His examples, like the examples of all haters, are absurd, and he has to rely on the absolute minority (1% of 1% of 1% type stuff) of feasibly possible scenarios to make his points.

    I know hate like this grabs different people differently if you support the LGBTQ community. But I’m far more concerned with what the Bryan Fischers, Jeffresses, et als of the world have at their disposal than some basement dweller with basic video creation software that probably is in the bag for one of these hating megapastors anyways. This guy’s style is a joke – again, taken by itself – because the whole time his perspective is “HA, LGBTQ supporters! Bet you didn’t think of that one!!!!111111!!!!!! FEEL THE SHAME!!” He’s like a krill taunting a whale. As an LGBTQ supporter perhaps I’m being too flippant, but that just how this one grabs me personally. This moron is Exhibit A for how bankrupt the anti-LGBTQ crowd is. Be free to laugh confidently in the face of sub-intellectual falderal like this, because there’s pretty much no way you can be wrong. Not with barbs like this flying at you. And besides, if you can’t stomach kindergarten-level hate like this, what will you do when the more sophisticated bigots show up?

  • Carpinions

    OK, I get that some people here cannot stomach stupidity like this for more than a couple minutes because it’s almost like watching someone abuse themselves publicly by willfully and wantonly remaining ignorant legally at the expense of the oppressed. It can be almost self-flagellating to listen to someone like Rush Limbaugh, a model of know-nothingness writ large, projectile vomit lies over the air because you pretty get a sense he’s wrong just by the way he uses “common sense” to distill everything down to his position, but don’t have the facts immediately at hand to scream out why. But this dude…this comes off as a farce taken by itself. I’ll go out on a limb and say this is not a Poe, largely because of the restriction from comments.

    Seriously, many of this guy’s examples are merely the ways in which civil society would dare to make certain Christians not be complete bigots and bullies in public without receiving blowback. Others have to do with the anti-gay fetish and situations only a pants wetter like this could conceive of as examples of counter discrimination in its purest form, like the aforementioned #6, or the one about claiming medical benefits at work and what’s to stop a male worker’s brother from abusing the system. His examples, like the examples of all haters, are absurd, and he has to rely on the absolute minority (1% of 1% of 1% type stuff) of feasibly possible scenarios to make his points.

    I know hate like this grabs different people differently if you support the LGBTQ community. But I’m far more concerned with what the Bryan Fischers, Jeffresses, et als of the world have at their disposal than some basement dweller with basic video creation software that probably is in the bag for one of these hating megapastors anyways. This guy’s style is a joke – again, taken by itself – because the whole time his perspective is “HA, LGBTQ supporters! Bet you didn’t think of that one!!!!111111!!!!!! FEEL THE SHAME!!” He’s like a krill taunting a whale. As an LGBTQ supporter perhaps I’m being too flippant, but that just how this one grabs me personally. This moron is Exhibit A for how bankrupt the anti-LGBTQ crowd is. Be free to laugh confidently in the face of sub-intellectual falderal like this, because there’s pretty much no way you can be wrong. Not with barbs like this flying at you. And besides, if you can’t stomach kindergarten-level hate like this, what will you do when the more sophisticated bigots show up?

  • http://www.facebook.com/joshua.pierce.75 Joshua Pierce

    I made it to 17 before I had to stop. It makes my brain hurt too much.

  • Waltz707

    I watched the whole thing. Might I claim 10 internet points?


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