This Pro-Abstinence Video is Amazing

This pro-abstinence video is kind of like the Reason Rally… minus everything that was awesome about the Reason Rally:

The best line (at 2:00):

“A lot of times, us as guys, we have way more temptations from a lot of the ladies because they look good, you know, they’re wearing jeans and all that kind of stuff…”

Oh yeah… ladies wearing jeans. *Cue porn music*

I would love to know what percentage of those teenagers eventually broke their pledges.

Hell, I would love to know what percentage of those teenagers broke their pledges later that day. I mean, people were wearing jeans. How could they resist each other?!

(via Christian Nightmares)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • liu

    Thank God those teens had Jebus in their hearts; otherwise what was to stop them from going around raping all those jean wearing sluts?

  • Rain

    That was an 80′s dystopian movie trailer right? Yeah thought so. Oh wait it didn’t have the dreadful 80′s synth movie soundtrack music.

  • Mackinz

    I feel sorry for the Christians who think it’s possible to control another person’s sexuality. *Especially* a teenager’s or young adult’s.

  • Renee Morton

    “Are you wet?”
    “I’m so wet!”

  • Justin Miyundees

    Ain’t no thang to pop that cherry cuz everwun kin be borned agin virgins now – it’s the gee are eee aytist!! Ain’t nut’n da load caint do be do be do!

  • Rain

    Idiot interviewer thinks he’s making a smooth move at 2:32 because he can get away with it as the authority figure. Anyone remember Richard Dawson? Always smooching and grabbing everyone because he thought it was a smooth move because he’s the authority figure game show host.

  • ggsillars
  • Randomfactor

    “Anal doesn’t count,” of course. Cue Garfunkel & Oates…

  • Hykuw

    Cannot stop rewinding the boob punch. I’m dying over the extra-special edit at the end!

  • allein

    Oh, god…I wear jeans pretty much every day. I never knew I was such a whore!

  • allein

    I wasn’t going to watch the whole thing but then I had to go back and finish it after reading this…

  • Octoberfurst

    I laughed at that line too!

  • Ian Reide

    I am a big fan of religious people never having sex.

  • m6wg4bxw

    LOL “true love”

  • Octoberfurst

    That was just sad. Yeah save your first sexual experience for your wedding night because that will make it “AWESOME.” Uh-huh. I remember my first sexual experience with my equally sexually inexperienced partner. (We weren’t married by the way.) It was awkward, exciting, frightening and embarrassing all at the same time. I would not call it “awesome.” As I became more experienced then it became awesome. :-)

  • A3Kr0n

    Sex is only OK if Jesus says it’s OK, and Jesus only talks to ministers.

  • Rich Wilson

    Who had to clean all those little staked signs off the lawn?

  • metalsheep

    Pretty sure the best part was the awkward rap at 4:23

    “True love waits, I gotta say.
    When you’re feeling weak, you gotta pray.
    Yo. Word to your mother.”

  • allein

    I was wondering the same thing…hope they cleaned up after themselves.

  • observer

    I feel pity for the ones that allow their sexuality to be controlled. Especially the ones who are proud of it.

  • Baby_Raptor

    Jeans? Fucking really?

  • Miss_Beara

    I was indoctrinated to feel ashamed about sexuality. I know it is complete bullshit. My last class in a Catholic school was 11 years ago and I still have some hangups about it. I guess it takes a while and a patient partner.

  • Randy Robbins

    Of course they are anti condom.

  • Randy Robbins

    Of course they are anti condom.

  • amycas

    “How do you deal with temptation?”

    “We constantly surround ourselves with the word of god; that does the trick right there.”

    You heard it here everybody: the Bible is a mood-killer.

  • slaq

    The extent to which Christians are obssesed with hymens is a little disturbing.

  • TheBlackCat13

    Probably, that’s the problem.

  • JohnnieCanuck

    It disturbs me to confess that the first thing I thought of was those hymnals we all held up before we began singing.

  • Greg G.

    Remember. Sex is the dirtiest, nastiest thing you could ever do and you should save it for someone you love.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I didn’t even notice it the first time and had to go back and watch it. She did say sorry.

  • chicago dyke

    in other times before science, i can understand a family’s anxiety about pregnancy. esp in unmarried girls. for thousands of years, birth was a killer. look at some stats about women in various pre-scientific cultures, and the number of them who died in childbirth.

    and while i don’t agree with it as a society-organizing concept, the idea that women are basically property traded out to enrich the family as a whole makes some “sense.” the patriarch gets a mess of goats to feed the rest of the clan with, the young woman gets shelter and protection from her new family in exchange for continuing their line. some deity approves. everyone is happy.

    what i like about the modern foolishness is that they are including boys in this silliness. that’s sort of new. now boys can enjoy the shame and hypocrisy and disappointment of virgin sex just like girls, when they marry. yeah xtian equality!

    …of course the whole thing is stupid and won’t work and will lead to more STDs, pregnancy and psychological disorders. but that’s religion for you! mission accomplished!

    meanwhile, those of us who embrace science know the best protection for our teens is education. by teaching our young about the reproductive cycle, birth control, and the history of the social constructs of “marriage,” however defined, we help them make better choices. and have better sex, and healthier lives.

  • coyotenose

    [Insert Saddleback joke here]

    Heh, “insert”.

  • coyotenose

    They don’t have control over the harm done to them, thanks.

  • Don_Gwinn

    Tim Minchin would have improved that one.

  • derflurglemurgle

    Damn, there you go making *sense*…what’s WRONG with you! :-)

  • Don_Gwinn

    (At 3:01 in the video.) :D

  • Don_Gwinn

    How did Pam Thum fail to break out as a hip hop star? I’m looking at about 4:35.

  • TheBlackCat13

    The art of procreation and the members employed therein are so repulsive, that if it were not for the beauty of the faces and the adornments of the actors and the pent-up impulse, nature would lose the human species.

    - Leonardo da Vinci

  • Max Bingman

    It’s always a great idea to wait until your honeymoon to find out if your chosen life partner is dead in the sack.

  • Cuddle Woozle

    The title card looks like a car company emblem. o.O


  • Sergio Castro

    I was more disturbed by the number of white people trying to “act black”. Please stop. It’s just painful. And to the black interviewer: We noticed you are black. You don’t need to say “yo yo yo” and wave your hands all around to clue us in. Why can’t we just act like ourselves, instead of impersonating our idea of “cool”?

  • Pepe

    Ha ha! (coz I think I see what you did there)

  • allein

    ha, I actually didn’t mean to, but … ;)

  • Gus Snarp

    I marched on Washington and took part in a rally on the National Mall once. We were trying to stop an unjust war based on fake evidence that has since killed thousands of people.

    These kids stood on the mall to tell the world they were making a promise to not have sex until marriage that there’s no way they were going to keep? Priorities.

    Also, man Christian music went to hell when it stopped being the only acceptable outlet for musical creativity.

  • Patrick

    The trouble now is I was logged in to YT when I clicked on and watched part of that and now I’m going to get all sorts of Christian fundie clips clogging up my “recommended for you” listings

  • Patrick

    The stakes come in handy for killing the vampire zombies in jeans spotted later that night