You guys, I need help. It’s a sickness. I’m obsessed.
I was going to skip his latest video, but with a title like “Fornication is not Love,” how could I pass it up? I couldn’t. I had to watch. And you know you have to, too.
Highlights are below!
5:05: “Let me explain something to you: The man who will… commit fornication with a woman… that’s not love. A man who really loves you, ladies, will marry you. He’s not just gonna use you as his concubine, temporarily. Because what is the difference between a concubine and a wife? The only difference — ’cause, I mean, it could look the same on the outside — she’s his Lord — er, I’m sorry, she’s his Lord… Good night, that’s the way a lot of marriages are in 2013, by the way! — you know, but look, he’s her Lord. He’s paying her bills. He’s providing for her. They live together. They might have a lot of the relationship that a husband and wife would have. There’s one colossal difference between a husband and a wife and a man and his concubine. And the difference there is that a man and his wife have sworn an oath that says ’til death do us part.”
7:17: “I’m gonna prove to you tonight… [that] a fornicating relationship is not a loving relationship. You know, people say, ‘Well, we’re in love!’ No, you’re not in love! And I’m gonna prove to you from the Bible — and if you walk out of here tonight, thinking that you and your fornicating boyfriend or fornicating girlfriend are in love, you [should] basically just say, ‘I don’t believe the Bible!’”
16:48: “This whole sermon tonight’s not about fornication. I’m just kinda starting out with the subject of fornication as a springboard here just to show you what love is and what love is not, according to the Bible.”
(In other words, spiritual foreplay?)
20:00: “Man, we need to get used… to Bible words. LEWDNESS! [Imitating audience] Oh, well, promiscuous. LEWD! Oh, a little bit loose. A WHORE! Oh, you know, well, you know… NO! Get back to some Biblical terms here. ‘Fornication’ is what it’s called. ‘Concubine’ is what she’s called.”
35:23: “If you love each other, get married. That’s what the Bible teaches. And until then, you keep your hands off each other. You stay out of that physical relationship that is reserved for a husband and wife… And if you’re gonna commit fornication, you are destroying whatever love is there. Whatever love is there, is being destroyed.”
37:30: “I remember distinctly thinking and believing, you know what? If for some reason, God forbid — I would never leave my wife and she said the same thing to me, but, you know, the only person you really know for sure is yourself, right? — and, you know, I knew I would never leave her or forsake her. But I even just went through the hypothetical in my mind: If for some reason, somehow, my wife were to leave me, I will remain unmarried for the rest of my life, until one of us dies. And I told that to God before I got married. I prayed that to God before I got married… I WILL BE FAITHFUL [UNTIL] DEATH! And that is love. That is what marriage is. That’s the difference between marriage and a concubine! Did you get that? That’s the colossal difference.”
(As we all know, Christians never get divorced. And if they do, they’re forbidden from attending church… or something like that.)
39:55: I didn’t commit fornication [before marriage] for one reason. Are you listening to me? One reason. Because I did not want to incur God’s wrath on my life. Because I had heard fire-breathing preaching as a kid that told me, Don’t commit fornication. God’s gonna curse you. God’s gonna punish you. God killed people in the Bible for [committing it]. It’s wicked….
(Because everyone who has sex before marriage leads a sad, miserable life…)
42:25: “You know what, kids?! You oughta be SCARED TO DEATH to commit fornication. Because it has very damaging repercussions in your life. And you will suffer for it. And it is not worth it.”
(Alright, sodomites — tell me in the comments how your life has been ruined by having sex before marriage.)
45:38: “People that are unsaved, they don’t even know what this is. And, you know, you can show me all the movies you want. And you can show me all the examples of unsaved people that are so loving that you want. I don’t believe it. It’s not real love. What’s real love is what Christians that are saved, and that know God, experience within the bounds of marriage. That is love. And once you’ve experienced that, you’ll see how everything else is a cheap imitation. You’ll see how it’s not real.”
I need to do something else with my life, but I can’t look away from the train wreck…