Are You Being Persecuted Because of Your Faith? Take This Quiz and Find Out!

Recently, Lord Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, told a British newspaper that Prime Minister David Cameron had no business saying religious leaders should “stand up and oppose aggressive secularization” when a recent poll showed that two-thirds of Christians believe they are part of a “persecuted minority.”

In response, The Daily Mash (A British version of The Onion) created a questionnaire so Brits can find out how persecuted they really are:

Are you excluded from high office, such as being prime minister or the Queen, because of your religion?

Are you prevented from worshipping in, let’s say, a church, on, let’s say, a Sunday morning?

Are schools, funded largely by people who do not share your views, banned from telling children about your favourite miracles?

Does Britain celebrate Christmas because it is the birthday of Isaac Newton?

You can read the full list of questions here. My favorite part may be the caption under the accompanying picture.

(Thanks to Matt for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Rain

    It’s pretty sad when the persecuted minority is master and creator of the entire bleepin universe. It must be tough knowing that.

  • allein

    >>”My favorite part may be the caption under the accompanying picture.”
    OK, that made me literally LOL. I’ll have to read the rest later but thanks for the laugh.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Do your shoes get lost in the post much more than average?

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Judy Garland died on June 22, 1969, so that question is a bit out of season.

  • Gabriel

    They have to think of themselves as persecuted. It is a requirement of their faith.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor
  • m6wg4bxw

    Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

    Ungrateful bastards.

  • baal

    They are only a persecuted minority until it’s time for pre-council meeting prayers. Then it’s all, “Look, everyone here is Christian and you are just one person standing up for us not showering ourselves and the proceeding is God’s glory so go be quiet.”

  • trj

    I distinctly remember many Christians proudly proclaiming that everything that happens is part of God’s plan.

    So if they have a problem with their “persecution” maybe they should take it up with him.

  • Dan Davis

    We need a list of questions catered to the US, where some states still prohibit atheists from pubic office. One question would have to be related to Lincoln’s b-day and Darwin’s.

  • A3Kr0n

    I’m in such a bad mood today I’d better not comment.

  • observer

    No, if something doesn’t go the why they want it to (which is coincidentally similar to what God planed), then it’s the fault of Satan!…or the gays.

  • trj

    Yeah, I guess God isn’t as almighty as he’s cracked up to be.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Omnipotence ain’t what it used to be.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    where some states still prohibit atheists from pubic office.

    Well, no. Some state constitutions still have language prohibiting atheists from holding office, but these are unconstitutional, null and void. Nonetheless:1) The failure of these states to remove the stricken language from the text of their foundational documents tells us something about how they really feel and2) In such states, if an out atheist were to run for office, it seems unlikely they could garner enough votes to win.

  • compl3x

    Hey, stop ridiculing their imaginary oppression. That, in itself, is a form of oppression…maybe?

  • chicago dyke

    and it’s equally unlikely that even if he really did exist, rise from the grave three days after being crucified, early christians didn’t pick this “holy” day because it was already a well known festival in many other more popular religions of the time and they were trying to fit in and seem more normal.

    at least spring really happens.

  • chicago dyke

    oh, please do! so i won’t feel so alone. it’s what i came here to do and this is the perfect post for it.

    i officially despise this holiday. things have been really stressful and tough for me in the last 6mos, and i was really looking forward to getting in some much needed down time catching up in the garden. you know, celebrating the season *properly* instead of gorging myself on fatty meats and hanging myself of a cross and feeling martyred.

    i couldn’t sleep in, so i got some stuff done in the am. brought my neighbors some holiday plants in celebration of the season, and even said “Happy Easter” cause i know they are xtians.

    finally got to the planting party. sitting in a chair, enjoy a warm sun…ahhh. i actually started to relax.

    then, church is over. neighbor A has six million children and grandchildren over for dinner (they catholic). which is fine. i told her the dog and i would be outside but i’d keep him close to me so he wouldn’t frighten the little ones. but they won’t stay off my lawn. the parents plant easter eggs on it and the kids are running and screaming all over it all afternoon. finally, my dog barks at one of them, who was ON MY property and TAUNTING my dog despite being told not to. kid flips out and runs over and tells a bunch of lies about how he “didn’t do anything, the mean dog just barked at him.” keep in mind i have NO rights as an animal owner here. if they want to choose to sue me and believe jr’s lies about being “attacked” my dog could be destroyed and there’s not a damn thing i can do about it.

    then, i get a text from my oh so perfectly heterosexual christian-married with kids sister about a business related thing i need from her for my work. it’s a single line of numbers she can access in five minutes or less. i sent the request thursday night. she blows me off all weekend. “mom is here, we’re having so much fun it’s just been so busy! the implication is of course, “and you know why you’re never invited to holidays with family, you mean, lesbian atheist. you’ll be mean to mom (who is a deserving of it bitch on the first order, but that’s a different story). kicker ending: “we even went to Easter Service!” mom and sis are both atheists. but it’s more important to please xtian hubby and jeebus for four wasted, useless hours on a long weekend than it is to help me with an important matter on a problem that could be solved in 5 minutes. i’m not even worth telling so until tonight, when work starts tomorrow.

    thanks, i can feel the love…

  • A3Kr0n

    Thanks for responding, I’m not sure why I’m in a bad mood. I was OK Friday, and Saturday, but today I just feel like everything is crap for some reason. I didn’t go to my parents for Easter, even though I said I would. I’m in one of those “lock the doors and shut out the world” kind of moods. But I’m not drinking, so I’ll say that’s a positive.

  • allein

    Can it happen soon, please? ;)

  • Rain

    I distinctly remember many Christians proudly proclaiming that everything that happens is part of God’s plan.

    Yes, but you forgot the “nanner-nanner boo-boo, I got my fingers crossed” part.

    Everything that happens is part of God’s plan, nanner-nanner boo-boo, I got my fingers crossed.

  • Cafeeine

    So is the question about Christmas, so I bet they weren’t going for a topical theme.

  • wmdkitty


  • meekinheritance

    I would say you sound like my spiritual twin, but I don’t believe in spirits.

  • meekinheritance

    +1 for the typo

  • dandaman

    Thanks for the clarification, I was just too lazy to type all that out. As you say, the fact that this language is still there speaks volumes. What typo?

  • Pirate Froglet

    You can hold a pubic office if you want, I’ll stick to my current job.

  • fsm

    No! I want spring. We are going straight to summer here, again. Would it help if I danced around a maypole? went to church? gorged myself on candy?

  • fsm

    No! I want spring. We are going straight to summer here, again. Would it help if I danced around a maypole? went to church? gorged myself on candy?

  • Stacy David

    I can’t really believe that this much of the country is christian. Maybe I come from a predominately athiest community, as no one I knew was religious. There was a methodist church at the top of my street, but all I’d see was a few old people and a couple of families.

  • Stacy David

    The vicar was porking my separated but not divorced neighbour who was a mother of 4. She was the only christian I knew as a kid.

  • Stacy David

    Actually I knew a couple, but I wouldn’t say their lifestyle was very christian.

  • allein

    I want spring too! I’m cold!

  • thilinab

    Its simple really. If they stop thinking they are persecuted, then its no longer a case of them being the underdogs fighting back against secularism. And they have to admit they are the ones that have been persecuting most of the other group in the past 1500 or so years.