Kay Warren’s Struggle with Doubt

Kay Warren is the co-founder of Saddleback Church, along with her more famous husband Rick. As the Warrens are now dealing with the soul-crushing fact of their son’s suicide only days ago, the Washington Post has re-posted an interview from last year that Mrs. Warren gave to Sally Quinn, and it’s extremely revealing — and rather touching, even for a heartless atheist like myself:

The video below concentrates on the subject of doubt — doubt in oneself and doubt about the very existence of God. Indeed, Warren is very open about her struggle with faith, owning up to feeling as though existence is “all a big cosmic joke.”

It’s remarkable how frank this is, a kind of confession of dalliances with atheism — to Quinn, an atheist, no less. Warren speaks of moments in which she thinks:

If you are there, [God,] you’re just moving us around like pawns on a chess board. And then other moments, of like, I’m not even sure that you’re there. Maybe I really am just talking to myself, and I’m, you know — nothing up there at all, it’s all emptiness. Absolutely, I’ll admit to that.

I don’t mean at all to tie this to what she’s now going through. As a parent, I can only begin to imagine the agony of the loss of her child, much less what might be the theological byproduct of that loss. But I do think it’s good for us to see how even those whose lives revolve around faith, and promoting that faith, do not always come by it easily or without doubt.

About Paul Fidalgo

Paul is communications director for the Center for Inquiry, as well as an actor and musician. His blog is iMortal, and he tweets as @paulfidalgo, and the blog tweets as @iMortal_blog.
The opinions expressed on this blog are personal to Paul and do not necessarily represent the views of the Center for Inquiry.