God’s Master Plan

Somehow, Crispian Jago broke into God’s computer and got ahold of his timeline:

I can’t believe it.

God uses Windows?! For shame…

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Shawn Magowan

    Of course God uses Windows. How else would so much corruption, fragmentation, and crashing occur? The fact that He’s using Microsoft Project explains a lot about the unanswered questions in the bible too.

  • busterggi

    Obviously this is an early draft, it completely omits his telling different groups of people his various aliases & ordering them to exterminate everyone who knows him by those other aliases.

  • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ Bubba Tarandfeathered

    Google saves all (web history)

  • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ Bubba Tarandfeathered

    I’ll bet there is a big sign in his IT department that says something like, “When you get a service call from god tell him it’s a PEBCAK ID-10T error” /facepalm

  • http://www.everydayintheparkwithgeorge.com/ Matt Eggler

    If only God had just run Apple’s iCreation on Mac…

  • Kiwi Dave

    Why shouldn’t God use Windows? An omnipotent god can make anything work.

  • maddogdelta

    I heard a story where Linus Torvalds, Richard Stallman and other GNU/Linux luminaries were giving a talk (this was the late 1990′s). The other speakers started their talks by pointing out that their presentations were done using Free/OS tools because they didn’t believe in using commercial software.

    Linus told the audience that he was using PowerPoint “because it works”

    Maybe god thinks the same way. I know I haven’t found project management software as good as MS Project for Linux… (Office sw, on the other hand, Libraoffice is as good or better than MS Office)

  • http://twitter.com/yjmbobllns Yojimbo Billions

    Not even God would overpay for overdesigned hipster hardware (with a cultural monopoly) you have to take to an officially licensed repair place every time something goes wrong.

  • njew84

    Call me crazy but bashing God and Christians is a very petty topic.. Small minded topic at best.. I thought you were all about using your brains. Anyways here is a topic NOBODY wants to discuss and EVERYONE wants to ignore. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/04/12/why-the-mainstream-media-is-not-covering-the-gosnell-abortion-trial.html

  • njew84