True Love Waits… and Waits… and Waits

After a day filled with serious posts about abstinence, I thoroughly enjoyed this article from LarkNews:

You can read the whole thing here.

(Thanks to Rike for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • p1uto

    I don’t.

  • Glasofruix

    Uh, as christians, aren’t they supposed to be breeding like rabbits the moment they say “i do”? Or is it an onion style website?

    • Rev. Achron Timeless

      Looking at the rest of the site, yeah, it appears to be satire. Scarily it’s damn near believable satire, but satire nonetheless.

    • Geoff Boulton

      Is there a category of Darwin award for removing oneself from the gene pool without dying? It had me believing it right up to the cool, misted water and raw potato part.

      • Baby_Raptor

        I believe those incidents are considered runners-up for the award. I know the website has stories wherein the poor fool doesn’t die.

        • Glasofruix

          Yeah but usually he ends up unable to produce offspring.

        • David Kopp

          Darwin Awards can be given if you remove yourself from the gene pool, even if you don’t die:

        • Michael

          I’m not sure that choosing not to procreate can really count though.

  • jdm8

    The sad part is, someone might have done it for real. There was a time when sex was always considered dirty, even within marriage, and it should only to be done for procreation.

  • Nigel

    Methings one of them is hiding a little secret…

  • Tainda

    Oooo, bedroom thoughts. That made me laugh lol

  • Baby_Raptor

    True Love isn’t about waiting. True Love is about respect and trust, not whether or not you’ve boned someone before.

  • Lori F – MN

    Do you think they could abstain after they’ve had a couple of kids?
    And how does eating a raw potato help?

  • Jacob Long Ω

    He eats a raw potato to take himself out of the mood?

    I’d almost feel sorry for him if I didn’t believe this to be satire.

  • Michael

    This always seemed to be the way it should be. If virginity is such a wonderful gift then why would you destroy it for someone you supposedly love?

    More importantly, if someone’s virginity makes you want them then what happens the morning after?

  • digitalatheist

    I hate to say it, but while I knew this article was satire, I do know a married couple who have been married for several years now, and… well.. haven’t “done it”, at all! Mind you, it is only one that keeps holding out–and knowing how things have gone down in the family, I can see why the party is so damn mentally scarred, and scared, but at the same time… really??? Am I living in a “Twilight Zone” episode? LOL.

    • Dubs

      I knew a couple like this. At some point she started pursuing me and and we ended up boning all the time and now we have a child.

  • Chengis Khan

    Wow, a living christian condom.

  • Daniel In The Lions’ Den

    Clearly satire. Still cute and funny.

    What’s sad is the truth is much more ominous. For a while, I was interested in clergical crimes, and had automated email notifications for news stories regarding clergy of any faith. Christian denominations seemed rife with clergy who are having sex with parishioners, including sexual abuse of teenagers and children. It seemed like “youth pastors” were especially high risk. After a while I removed the notifications. They were clogging up my inbasket and too demoralizing.

    Sexuality is an integral part of human life. Our comparatively constant sex drive is one of the features that separates us from other animals, who are interested/receptive much less often. Christian, muslim, and jewish efforts to control and demonize sex, and glorification of abstinence, is inhumane and unnatural.

  • Daniel

    Reminds me of an early season of The Amazing Race with the team that claimed to have been dating for 12 years and were both virgins .

    • jdm8

      The convenient thing is that there’s no reasonable way to disprove it.

      It seems like there’s far more bragging about not doing it vs. doing it. With most people, you don’t know whether they’re having sex, how often or who they are with. And frankly, I kind of like it that way, I don’t really need to know.

  • DoctorDJ

    No sex after marriage? Sounds like most marriages, if you wait long enough.
    From “Tri-weekly”, to “Try, weekly”, to “Try, weakly.”

  • threenorns

    except for the minor detail that they are not married – legally or religiously.

    also, since the first command of the christian god was “go forth and multiply”, they’re not only NOT “double holy”, they’re actually committing heresy. probably blasphemy, too.


    just sayin’.

  • Jean-Luc

    Gee, keep having no sex forever, so that you don’t have kids and teach them to do the same, thanks!

  • guest

    Good. Stupid people shouldn’t pass on their genes. More chlorine for the gene pool please!

  • Peter Callan

    It’s like the beginning of a bade joke: A monk and a nun walk into a pub and meet the Holy Ghost . . .

  • Rachel Priebee

    LOL what a pair of muppets!

  • GodVlogger (on YouTube)

    I’m offended that their picture shows a front hug.

    They should only be doing a side-hug.