Stop Saying ‘In Bed’ When You Read Fortune Cookies… Try This Instead

Or you could try this, too.

(via Toothpaste For Dinner)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • David

    In bed is more fun.

  • cathouseumbrella

    In bed is more fun in the biblical sense.

  • CottonBlimp

    For those who don’t know why “in the Biblical sense” sounds dirty; the Bible, particularly the OT, uses the phrase “to lay with” as a euphemism for sex. People would say “I laid with him, but not in the Biblical sense” as a joke.

  • LutherW

    All your compliance with authority will be rewarded, in the biblical sense.

  • Don_Gwinn

    Saturday I had lunch with the Springfield Freethinkers for the first time. It was a great time, and although I don’t eat the fortune cookies, I had to open it up:
    “You are the master of every situation.”

    In the biblical sense . . . . did that fortune cookie bestow godhead?

  • Don_Gwinn

    Really? Here I’ve always heard it applied to “to know.” As in “Adam knew his wife . . . ” So you hear people say, “Yeah, I knew her . . . well, not in the Biblical sense.”

  • Benjamin Langstaff

    My friends and I have always used “…with a chainsaw.”

  • Charles Honeycutt

    I dunno. It takes more effort, but I most enjoy the one where you listen to two people having a conversation and imagine they had sex the night before and are trying to not talk about it.

  • 7Footpiper

    I like to use “as the Bishop said to the Actress”.

  • Michael

    That just sounds stupid.

  • chicago dyke

    that’s what we’ve always used. it’s esp funny when talking about science or other non-religious stuff. “i know…” “you ‘know?’” hee

  • CottonBlimp

    Actually, yeah, you’re right. I mega-failed there D:

  • Mario Strada

    I guess the tag has really been deprecated.

  • Mario Strada

    Or not…

  • Little Magpie

    I have to say this is my first evidence that other people do the ‘in bed’ thing beyond my social circle (though I have long assumed that to be the case.)

    Magpie’s corollary: just as “in bed” makes anything *funnier* (though I must agree xkcd has a point), “in space” makes anything more *awesome.* eg. “Getting a haircut … in SPACE!!” … (tip of the hat to Cmdr. Hatfield, my Southern Ontario homie!)