Christian Right Leader: NBA Teams Should be Worried About Jason Collins Eyeing Players in the Shower

It will come as a surprise to precisely no one currently reading this that Bryan Fischer, spokesman for the American Family Association, has something offensive and dumb to say about recently-out-of-the-closet NBA player Jason Collins.

Pictured: Jason Collins (right) and Shaquille O’Neal picking out window treatments or something

Collins made history yesterday by becoming the first active athlete in a major (male) American sport to come out as gay. It seems as if Collins is going into this thing with eyes wide open. He know’s what he’s in for from the intolerant idiots out there. And the Christian Right is doing exactly what you might expect.

Fischer took to the airwaves to remind us all that, yes, he still super-hates the gays. (As if we could ever forget.)

After Fischer drops in that he, too, went to Stanford and also played on the basketball team there and humble-brags about how his team went to the Final Four, he kindly answers the question that Sports Illustrated never asked:

The question on the heading of the piece is “Why NBA center Jason Collins is coming out now.” Well, the answer is easy: It’s the end of the season! The season’s over! And they have an entire off-season to figure out what they are gonna do about this next year.

I’d like to note that the title of the piece wasn’t asking a question. It wasn’t “Why is he coming out now?” It was “Why he is coming out now” period… or ellipses. I mean, technically there is no punctuation, but there certainly isn’t a question mark.

“They have an entire off-season to figure out what they are gonna do about this”? Who is “they”? Do about what? Is the NBA going to instate a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy of their own?

But don’t worry, guys. Fischer has some really good advice that we should all take as seriously as we take him:

I will guarantee you if the ownership is thinking about bringing him back or about trading for him, and they go to the players on that team they say “How do you feel about an out, active homosexual being in the same locker room, sharing the same shower facilities with you?” they’d say “No way! I don’t want that! I do not want some guy, some teammate in the shower eyeballin’ me in the shower, and my wife does not want that.”

First of all, Fischer, on behalf of wives everywhere, I am so glad that you finally care about what women think.

Second of all, where is all of your moral outrage about all the other professional athletes doing all sorts of “non-Christian,” anti-family-values, pro-adultery-like activities?

(Interesting note: Looking to do some investigative blogging, I looked up “professional athletes with criminal records” and guess what? There is an entire Wikipedia entry about it. And it is not brief. And Fischer didn’t bring up any of that.)

Now, you all know I can blather on all day about Fischer’s hypocrisy and idiocracy — and believe you me, I would love to. But instead, I am going to pass the ball (sports metaphor!) to Collins himself:

I’ve been asked how other players will respond to my announcement. The simple answer is, I have no idea. I’m a pragmatist. I hope for the best, but plan for the worst. The biggest concern seems to be that gay players will behave unprofessionally in the locker room. Believe me, I’ve taken plenty of showers in 12 seasons. My behavior wasn’t an issue before, and it won’t be one now. My conduct won’t change. I still abide by the adage, “What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room.” I’m still a model of discretion.

Based on the reactions from other NBA players and higher-ups, his being gay isn’t a problem for anyone. If he gets picked up as a free agent during the off-season, it’ll be because of his talent, not in spite of his homosexuality.

(via Right Wing Watch)

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.