Christian Right Leader: NBA Teams Should be Worried About Jason Collins Eyeing Players in the Shower

It will come as a surprise to precisely no one currently reading this that Bryan Fischer, spokesman for the American Family Association, has something offensive and dumb to say about recently-out-of-the-closet NBA player Jason Collins.

Pictured: Jason Collins (right) and Shaquille O’Neal picking out window treatments or something

Collins made history yesterday by becoming the first active athlete in a major (male) American sport to come out as gay. It seems as if Collins is going into this thing with eyes wide open. He know’s what he’s in for from the intolerant idiots out there. And the Christian Right is doing exactly what you might expect.

Fischer took to the airwaves to remind us all that, yes, he still super-hates the gays. (As if we could ever forget.)

After Fischer drops in that he, too, went to Stanford and also played on the basketball team there and humble-brags about how his team went to the Final Four, he kindly answers the question that Sports Illustrated never asked:

The question on the heading of the piece is “Why NBA center Jason Collins is coming out now.” Well, the answer is easy: It’s the end of the season! The season’s over! And they have an entire off-season to figure out what they are gonna do about this next year.

I’d like to note that the title of the piece wasn’t asking a question. It wasn’t “Why is he coming out now?” It was “Why he is coming out now” period… or ellipses. I mean, technically there is no punctuation, but there certainly isn’t a question mark.

“They have an entire off-season to figure out what they are gonna do about this”? Who is “they”? Do about what? Is the NBA going to instate a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy of their own?

But don’t worry, guys. Fischer has some really good advice that we should all take as seriously as we take him:

I will guarantee you if the ownership is thinking about bringing him back or about trading for him, and they go to the players on that team they say “How do you feel about an out, active homosexual being in the same locker room, sharing the same shower facilities with you?” they’d say “No way! I don’t want that! I do not want some guy, some teammate in the shower eyeballin’ me in the shower, and my wife does not want that.”

First of all, Fischer, on behalf of wives everywhere, I am so glad that you finally care about what women think.

Second of all, where is all of your moral outrage about all the other professional athletes doing all sorts of “non-Christian,” anti-family-values, pro-adultery-like activities?

(Interesting note: Looking to do some investigative blogging, I looked up “professional athletes with criminal records” and guess what? There is an entire Wikipedia entry about it. And it is not brief. And Fischer didn’t bring up any of that.)

Now, you all know I can blather on all day about Fischer’s hypocrisy and idiocracy — and believe you me, I would love to. But instead, I am going to pass the ball (sports metaphor!) to Collins himself:

I’ve been asked how other players will respond to my announcement. The simple answer is, I have no idea. I’m a pragmatist. I hope for the best, but plan for the worst. The biggest concern seems to be that gay players will behave unprofessionally in the locker room. Believe me, I’ve taken plenty of showers in 12 seasons. My behavior wasn’t an issue before, and it won’t be one now. My conduct won’t change. I still abide by the adage, “What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room.” I’m still a model of discretion.

Based on the reactions from other NBA players and higher-ups, his being gay isn’t a problem for anyone. If he gets picked up as a free agent during the off-season, it’ll be because of his talent, not in spite of his homosexuality.

(via Right Wing Watch)

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Spuddie

    “Christian Right Leader: NBA Teams Should be Worried About Jason Collins Eyeing Players in the Shower”

    I think their concern is mostly out of jealousy. =)

  • Sven2547

    Collins’ statement hits the nail on the head: he’s still the same guy he was last week, last month, last year. If he wasn’t a problem before, there’s no reason he should be a problem now.

    There’s also a significant chance that there are other gay players throughout the league. Same thing: they’re not a problem.

    The men of the NBA are professionals. They can handle it like professionals.

  • Kengi

    “No way! I don’t want that! I do not want some guy, some teammate in the shower eyeballin’ me in the shower, and my wife does not want that.”

    Because, as everyone knows, the straight men were OK when Collins was in the closet, but now that they know he’s gay, he will become irresistible to all of the straight married players. They will proceed to leave their wives so they can have wild gay sex in the locker room showers!

    It happens all the time. I can understand why the wimmenz are upset about this. Won’t someone think of the wimmenz?

  • Greg

    I find it difficult to be okay with sharing a shower with another man at all, and knowing he’s gay would definitely make it worse.

    It’s not about “eyeballin’” or rape or disease or any of the things people like to use against such an objection.

    I don’t generally want to share a change room or shower with a gay man for same reason women don’t generally want to share those places with any man.

    I can’t say I’d DO or SAY anything about it. I don’t pretend there’s somewhere else for a gay man to go change. But I would be uncomfortable and I think that is normal.

  • Kengi

    Women generally don’t want to share a shower with men because they feel vulnerable in a male-dominated harassment friendly society. If you feel threatened and vulnerable by gay men in a shower, perhaps you have some unresolved issues.

    Personally, I don’t have such issues, and wouldn’t feel threatened by a gay man showering nearby.

  • Richard Wade

    “No way! I don’t want that! I do not want some guy, some teammate in the shower eyeballin’ me in the shower, and my wife does not want that.”

    Yeah, Fischer, please protect those poor, virginal NBA players who are so terrified that somebody might look upon their virtuous bodies with (gasp) lust! After all, they’ve been the hapless victims of similar thought crimes countless times by countless fans both male and female. Sooo traumatizing.

    Brian Fischer: waging a one-man crusade to make sure nobody thinks any thoughts that he doesn’t think.

    That’s a helluva lot.

  • Wild Rumpus

    It’s a slippery slope, man… first there’s one homosexual athlete in one locker room and then BAM gay orgies in all the locker rooms…

  • Wild Rumpus

    It’s ok, man… some people are afraid of cats, some people are afraid of flying, you can get help for your phobias. Imagine the freedom you would feel if you could be a normal human being and not living with irrational fear. Talk to a mental health professional.

  • grindstone

    I think there’s a difference in saying “I don’t like to be naked around people”, or “I don’t like being naked around people of my same gender”, and saying, as a professional athlete, that there would be a problem with having a gay teammate share the locker room with you. People have different boundaries with nudity, but it’s part of being an athlete, and if these guys are truly professionals, there won’t be an issue.

    If I had to guess, the same guys that would shriek about teh gayz eyeballing’ their junk are likely the same ones who tell women to lighten up when we complain about street harassment and the male gaze.

  • Jen M

    Why do straight men feel threatened or that they will be objectified by gay men? Is it because they do the same thing to unsuspecting women. It doesn’t feel good to be stared at, gawked at, does it? What’s more, do you really think gay men find you irresistible? I mean really, I applaud your confidence, but even gay men have preferences…..

  • TiltedHorizon

    “No way! I don’t want that! I do not want some guy, some teammate in the shower eyeballin’ me in the shower, and my wife does not want that”

    Oh please. Based on this logic any heterosexual male working in obstetrics and gynecology should be forced to the unemployment line. They get to do more then just ‘eyeball’. While we are at it, lets go after my doctor, he grabbed my testicles and told me to cough; PERV! No way! I don’t want that! My wife does not want that!

  • Deb Clark

    I need to disagree with the author on one point. You give Mr. Fischer credit for finally caring about what women think when there is no evidence of this. In my experience, when men with “extremist” Christian ideas say “my wife doesn’t want that”, it means that they decided, for their wife, what she wants or does not want. They couldn’t possibly leave that choice up to her; that would be uncaring and irresponsible of them as a husband.

  • michael both

    “I still abide by the adage, “What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room.”
    Sounds like someone else might need to come out. These kind of articles often come across as some kind of supressed-gay projection to me.

  • The Other Weirdo

    That’s an interesting revelation, that his wife doesn’t want some gay dude eyeballing her husband, because she is all too aware of her husband’s proclivities. Otherwise, what cause would she have for worrying? Is his non-gayness so weak that he’s just one naked gay dude away from an all-out gay-on in the showers?

    Enquiring minds want to know.

  • The Other Weirdo

    Surely you jest. Not all the locker rooms. Isn’t there even one locker room left for us straight guys still in the… locker?

  • Anon

    I’m coming to this from the other side of the argument. I am a lesbian and I have shared showers with other women.

    Nobody, and that includes the people who know my orientation, has ever objected.

    I am irritated by your assumption that just because a person is attracted to people of the same sex they must automatically be eyeing up every single person of that gender that they come in contact with. Because…well…they’re attracted to those people aren’t they.

    Guess what, the gay guy you’re so uncomfortable about. He’s probably thinking about what to have for dinner, what he’s doing tomorrow, where that song in his head came from or just getting clean and going home. Chances are, he does not care that you are naked and next to him. The same way you probably would be if you didn’t know he was gay.

  • 3lemenope

    I suspect that it is because male homosexuality is tied up with all sorts of stereotypes and cultural baggage in the US, particularly with cultural conceptions of femininity; it is the fear on behalf of heterosexual males that they could be mistaken for being gay because they are perceived as effeminate, causing panic that they are inadvertently sending out the “wrong” signals for attracting mates of a complementary sexual identity and orientation.

    Bizarre, I know. But I think it fits. I think you are also right that the redirection of the Male Gaze does cause discomfort for some.

  • The Other Weirdo

    Or, you could step back, think about it and then realize that this in’duh’vidual doesn’t speak for all straight men, or even all men. You might also realize that not all male issues revolve around women. In fact, very few of them do. But then you wouldn’t be able to fight the good fight against a strawman.

    Just a thought.

  • C Peterson

    Which “straight men” are you talking about? Why should anybody, male or female, gay or straight with a decent self-image care if they are “objectified” by anybody? Indeed, why wouldn’t they like it? Most people do go out of their way to present an external appearance with just that intent.

    I think this issue is much more likely to be a problem for people who have repressed their sexual identity. People like Fischer, who are so disturbed about what is happening inside the heads of people in locker rooms seems actually to be worried about what would be going on inside his own head if he were standing around a bunch of naked men.

  • Jen M

    I completely agree with you @3lemenope. The raging stereotype that gay men can’t control their sexual urges is alive and well.

  • The Captain

    “It doesn’t feel good to be stared at, gawked at, does it?” actually yes it does! Even though I m not gay, I don’t give a crap about anyones sexuality, so when I have had a gay man hit on me before not only was it no big deal, I have always taken it as a complement. Anyone who flirts with me or gives me a look brightens my day a bit.

  • allein

    Seriously. I’m not married but I wouldn’t care if a gay guy was checking out my hypothetical husband. Anyway, if it’s in the locker room how would I even know about it?

  • allein

    I read that line as sarcasm… I doubt any of us are giving him credit for much of anything ;)

  • SeekerLancer

    Meanwhile the Jets give Tebow the boot. All-in-all a good week in sports.

  • baal

    blargh, hit enter too fast.
    My wife knows I’m in a committed relationship with her and she seems to like it when folks take an interest in me.

  • Andrew Kiener

    “behave unprofessionally in the locker room”… Great phrase – cuts through the juvenility, the ick factor, the how-do-we-discuss-it-on-tv issues, ALL the sexual baggage, and brings the discussion back to the fact that grownups can behave themselves.

    Collins clearly has his act together. I hope things continue to go as smoothly for him as they appear to have so far.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    When I was younger I had a gay man hit on me in a bar. I simply told him thanks but I’m straight and that was the end of it but as you said I took it as a complement.
    As for the story why people think this way is amazing. For 12 years it has never been an issue but all of sudden it will become one.

  • SeekerLancer

    It does seem to fit especially when you see people complaining that gays will make sports less “manly” due to the stereotypes they cling to even when people like Mr. Collins prove them wrong.

    In reality it’s got to be shocking to them that someone who is more “manly” than them (using their own view of athleticism as a sign of manliness) is actually gay.

    It also goes a good way to explain why that player in the WNBA can be completely ignored by the media. Since sports and athleticism are supposed to be a manly thing nobody is alarmed about a female athlete announcing she’s a lesbian because of the stereotype that all lesbians are butch, masculine women. It fits in with their expected view of the world and doesn’t threaten them (though some of those people would probably argue that there shouldn’t be women’s sports at all).

    Whoever Collins plays for next season I can guarantee one thing, there will be idiots trying to blame any poor performances from him or his team on his sexuality and complain that gays don’t belong in professional sports despite the fact that they didn’t notice these issues with him before he came out and that gays have been a part of professional sports the entire time.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    Just do the helicopter for him and make him happy. That is all a gay man wants in the shower anyways, just a few guys doing the helicopter for him.

    In all serious why would you even care? I’ve changed and showered with a lot of men over the years after ice hockey games. I’m sure a few of them where gay and even if I had known it to be true I still wouldn’t have cared.

    One team I played on had a female and she did change with us. She always walked around with her head down which was amusing. Didn’t stop me or anyone else walking around naked though. She was an adult woman and I’m sure she had seen a penis before.

    I never once felt objectified by anyone in a locker room or the shower. Granted jokes where made between friends from time to time but that was it.

  • SeekerLancer

    For the type of people who would get offended by this I think it’s less about being gawked at or hit on and more about feeling like having a gay man hit on them means they’re being mistaken as being gay themselves. They’re not comfortable enough with their sexuality to shrug it off and they feel threatened.

    I remember this one Bruno skit on the Ali G Show where Sacha Baron Cohen implies that this redneck (I think it was at a square dance) is gay and it degrades into threats of violence really fast. It was a great example of this phenomenon in action.

  • allein

    Of course, people like Fisher, and patriarchal religions in general, have the same view of all men. It’s always the women who have to be “modest’ and cover up so as not to tempt the men, after all.

  • SeekerLancer

    Which really must mess with their minds when they think about men tempting other men. It’s no wonder why they just want to plug their ears and pretend it doesn’t exist when you look at it in that context.

    They get a glimpse at what it’s like to experience the unwelcome sexual objectification they force onto women and they don’t like it.

    In a perfect world it would be a learning experience but this isn’t a perfect world.

  • guest

    stereotype much? Who are you talking to? and where did you get that idea from?

  • SeekerLancer

    It’s understandable that you and most people are self-conscious about their bodies. I can empathize with that. It’s more of an issue of, “I don’t want someone judging my body” and as anyone who has been through high-school gym class can tell you, you don’t have to be gay to be a harsh judge of somebody’s physique.

    I’m of the mind however that nudity really isn’t a big deal and even gender segregation is kind of silly when you stand back and think about it. That’s not a popular opinion to even some of the most liberal readers here I’m sure but I feel like what’s at the root of a lot of objectification is the fact that we’re so afraid of nudity, especially in Western cultures. Some places in the world aren’t quite as restrained.

  • aaa

    It ain’t the slope that’s slippery, it’s the soap.

  • Stev84

    I don’t like to undress in front of other people either. Never have. But as you said, that has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. So general discomfort in such a situation is really no argument here.

  • A3Kr0n

    Fischer? Again? Who cares what that guy says?

  • Spuddie

    Given how badly the Wizards play, locker room orgies would probably help them at this point.

  • Spuddie

    I think Fischer is just projecting his own hidden fantasies at this point.

  • 3lemenope

    Why should anybody, male or female, gay or straight with a decent self-image care if they are “objectified” by anybody?

    Because treating people like passive receptacles (for anything) is not nice, and people have a legitimate interest in feeling bad when someone treats them in that not nice way. I agree there is a basic conflict–a paradox, really–in that as social creatures we do consciously present an image to be consumed by others, while we also have a legitimate desire to be treated as more than a collection of aesthetic notes (sexualized or otherwise). But that fact that for some purposes people prepare for and even enjoy being looked at it does not mean that it is therefore a legitimate universal presumption that people should always like being looked at and should treat the bad feelings that sometimes result from such experiences as illegitimate when they occur.

  • 3lemenope

    Unfortunately, a greater number than zero.

  • Spuddie

    The most uncomfortable time I ever had being naked among people of the same gender had nothing to do with the sexual orientation of everyone involved.

    I was at a hot springs resort in Japan with my father and father in-law. Clothing is not allowed. Wearing towels in the springs was generally frowned upon.

    Being naked in front of my father, no big deal. He saw me come out of the package. In front of my father-in-law was a lot more nervous. I kept thinking, “He’s using that on my daughter!”

  • Spuddie

    I have no shame whatsoever. If someone wants to objectify my beer belly and lack of muscle tone, more power to them!

  • Spuddie

    At least when people shout “the Wizards suck!”, they can respond, “Damn Right!”


    Personally, I’m glad I’m not a member of Bryan Fischer’s family.

  • Anna

    I agree, and I think there’s a right and a wrong way to admire someone. Staring, gawking, etc. makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. I certainly wouldn’t mind someone thinking to himself that I was attractive, but to make it obvious by following me around or staring at me could come across as rude or threatening. I don’t want some random stranger in line at Starbucks acting like he wants to devour me. But it doesn’t matter to me what he’s thinking as long as his conduct is polite.

  • Greg

    I resent your implications, kenshi. I don’t have to have “unresolved issues” to by uncomfortable being naked around others.

    As for why you think women would be uncomfortable having men in their showering areas I don’t think it would matter whether they know him, like him or sense attractions. It wouldn’t matter how properly he behaved either. It would be uncomfortable for them. That’s how I’d feel.
    Again , I wouldn’t feel I’ve got the right to object and there’s clearly not a different change room option. I’m just stating that I would find it an awkward situation. I also think Collins did a much needed service to other gay athletes and especially young ones or those surrounded by bigotry.


  • Michael

    I will concede that I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of Jason Collins. But I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of Bryan Fischer either. Or most of the world’s population. Hence why I avoided games in school.

  • Rich Wilson

    Oh no, Obama doesn’t hate gays.

  • Rich Wilson

    I’ve been hit on more times by men than women. In one case it did make me pause and think what it would be like to be the physically smaller person, in the other person’s home, and that other person being slightly more pushy than was warranted after “no”.

  • Lagerbaer

    I think it’s more of a US thing, thanks to their Puritan heritage. Take as an example the Sauna. In the US people wear trunks / swimsuits / towels in the sauna, whereas in Europe people of both genders are completely naked there. And no, not THAT many orgies happen because of that.

  • Lagerbaer

    On a lighter note, I present you the oatmeal:

  • NewDawn2006

    ‘I do not want some guy, some teammate in the shower eyeballin’ me in the shower, and my wife does not want that.”

    Speaking as the wife of a husband that the gay men seem to love (a lot), why would I not want that? It affirms that I have an attractive husband. Look all you want. I know who he is coming home to. And he is comfortable in his sexuality and he doesn’t care either. How sad Mr. Fischer that you are unable to get past this juvenile bigotry and beyond the prepubescent stage of maturity.

  • baal

    I’m so confused. Why would the father in law have sex with your daughter? Wouldn’t it be you thinking that he’s thinking?

  • Rich Wilson

    it’s also American fear of the penis. A stark example is the editing of “Eyes Wide Shut”. The European release had full frontal by both Tom and Nicole. The North American release cut Tom’s full frontal, but not Nicole’s.

    Americans can’t handle the penis.

  • Kellen Conner

    And as a lesbian, I agree with you. As long as I’m not getting treated like a piece of meat for sale, a little flirty action can be quite uplifting.

  • C Peterson

    I think this is an area where people have become too sensitive. We all objectify strangers based on appearance. We all present ourselves in a way that allows strangers to objectify us. There is nothing wrong with this- indeed, it is absolutely fundamental human nature. Nothing could be more natural. We move away from this abstract objectification when we learn more about people.

    Certainly, I did not mean that we should all find “gawking” or the like pleasant- that is really something quite different. Indeed, that sort of attention reflects a lack of social skill on the part of the gawker- just the sort of lack of skill I imagine in somebody like Fischer, who seems unable to even imagine that normal people could function around each other without that dysfunctional sort of objectification.

  • bngtr

    Well I guess all women are intolerant idiots because they desire to not shower with men. I’ve been reading many blogs and the stupid comment keeps being repeated, that men have been showering thousands of times together and nothing has happened. Oh, really, I must be the only one then. First off, we don’t know who is and is not. No nothing happened in the shower, but I did have notes put in my locker, my gym bag, and once thrown over a bathroom stall in the shower room. You know I laughed them off, until I started getting a string of notes and felt I was being stalked, and yes I didn’t care for it, and Just like in our society women are afforded the right to reject anyone when she is in a shower, from people she feels uncomfortable with. I should be afforded that right too. I don’t care at all what a gay person does, I think they should have a the rights of everyone else, that includes an understanding of others privacy, the fact that they don’t understand this logic is astounding to me. I guess we’ll have to let the courts decide.

  • Free

    Could there not even be a bit of validity in the uncomfortableness of having someone who is sexually attracted to men to share a room full of well-built naked men? The truth is, Jason prefers men. I am a man and I prefer women. I am not sure that if I or any sexually healthy man were showering with physically attractive women that I might be tempted to peek, fantasize etc… But, Jason would not be tempted in any way because being gay does not make him a man in the sense that he encounters temptations right? I am a heterosexual and do not define myself or the identity of my community by my sexual preference. It is documented that the average gay man will have up to 10 times the number of sexual partners that the average heterosexual man. These realities, while documented, serve as no reason to bash or wish harm on Jason but do beg the question on ignoring the realities of sex.

  • Rich Wilson

    Whenever you happen to be naked in the presence of other men, there’s always a chance that some of them are gay, whether you know it or not.

    Collins didn’t just decide to be gay. He’s always been gay, and everyone has survived so far.

    Sweet dreams.

  • Rich Wilson


    To be fair however, maybe you have a point. I’d sure hate to find out that I’ve been having anything to do with someone who defends biblical slavery because some versions of it weren’t quite as bad as others.

  • Kengi

    “I don’t think it would matter whether they know him, like him or sense attractions. It wouldn’t matter how properly he behaved either.”

    It’s a pity I didn’t mention any of those things, otherwise your response might have made sense. Let me repeat, more slowly this time: Women generally don’t want to share a shower with men because they feel vulnerable in a male-dominated harassment friendly society.

    If you feel the same as women for the same reason in this respect, you should probably follow Wild Rumpus’ advice since you do obviously have some unresolved issues with this subject.

  • wmdkitty

    And if, by chance, there are a few who can’t handle it… fuck ‘em, they’re free to quit.

  • wmdkitty

    I’m with you on the “plz to not be staring at me”.

    Then again, I get looks precisely because my furry ass is on wheels. Little kids, okay, they’re gonna stare. But adults should know better. (And if you got questions, please ask — I tire of hearing parents going, “we don’t ask those questions.”

  • Spuddie

    Embarrassingly corrected. =)

    Still it feels weird being naked in front of any in-laws.

  • PhiloKGB

    How might you go about securing that right? You’ve already identified the problem: You don’t necessarily know who has what attractions, and outward appearance is of little value here. Were the notes received anonymously? Was anyone at your club wearing an “I’m gay” name-tag? How would some vague notion of privacy based on sexual orientation help in any but the most disclosed situations?

  • Greg

    Oh okay. I’ve clearly misjudged what I was dealing with here. I get it now. Nevermind..

  • Bdole

    Here’s what I don’t get. The NBA and sports in general is a MULTI-BILLION dollar industry – everyone associated with it is fabulously wealthy. So, why the prison shower system? There’s enough money floating around for each player to have his own personal master bath complete with jacuzzi.

  • pagansister

    I have a feeling that straight men check each other out while showering—-not in a sexual way, just to see how “big” or “small” the other guys might be!

  • Charles Honeycutt

    It’s not an issue at all. Humans have not always worn clothing, which means that lack of clothing is not automatically a cause for sexual thoughts. Nudists can be around people they find attractive without checking them out and getting aroused all the time. Locker rooms lack sexual connotations for the vast majority of people, dressed or nude. Understand that homosexuals, like everyone else, learn and internalize social triggers for sex. Understand also that because of social disapproval, homosexuals tend to learn exceptional discipline in such matters. They often learn very early on in school that they have to be able to shrug off the sight of attractive, naked people or they will suffer for their interest. This means that they’re MORE likely to overlook your nudity than heterosexuals, not less.

    The number of partners that he or any other gay man is irrelevant to anything except their own health and that of their partners. Gay men tend to have more partners because they haven’t been allowed to marry and because male-male casual sexual relationships are different from male-female ones in ways that should be very obvious.

    Could there not even be a bit of validity in the uncomfortableness of having someone who is sexually attracted to men to share a room full of well-built naked men?

    You might as well ask if there’s a reason to be uncomfortable with having a man who is attracted to women be at a public beach or swimming pool. And actually, that hypothetical man is more likely to give someone uncomfortable looks than Jason Collins is.

  • Charles Honeycutt

    Seriously! I’ve had to explain several times to people that getting hit on by someone of the “wrong” gender is not something to be embarrassed about, it’s still a compliment.

  • Charles Honeycutt

    Why that fucking Antichrist!

  • Charles Honeycutt

    Sure, it’s a compliment to her taste and her family :) And a lot of people enjoy using pretend jealousy over it to make things steamy later.

  • Charles Honeycutt

    It’s not the same thing for men as for most women. There’s a severe power imbalance, a social constriction on women defending themselves against unwanted interest, and a greater and more prevalent physical threat than most men are accustomed to.

    I like being looked at that way and flirted with, but I’m reasonably big and can put on a scary face (even though I’m a teddy bear), so there is absolutely no risk, and I haven’t had my body image attacked the way that many women have. I can understand how a smaller person might feel intimidated though, because I gained my size relatively late and remember it well. That’s why I try to not accidentally intimidate people; it’s very easy to do, and can destroy someone’s positive feelings for quite a while.

  • Charles Honeycutt

    Through shared geek interests, I know a fair number of gay and bi men who want to sleep with me*, and who have indicated so. We’ve shared hotel rooms and even beds without it being an issue. The only actual issue has ever been that, being very used to being naked around other men from the military or sports or somesuch, some of them forget to change clothes in the bathroom. It’s easier to not get out of bed at all until everyone that is already up has changed, because in a confined hotel room you might look up right when OH LOOK A CROTCH TWO FEET AWAY

    I AM bringing my own damn blanket in the future, because hotel room blankets aren’t big enough unless you intend to cuddle. >.<

    *Yes I know how that sounds, I'm not crowing or saying I'm good-looking or anything, mostly they just like my jokes I think.

  • Charles Honeycutt

    The movie WIld Things is fifteen years old and people STILL gripe to me because it had the “wrong” kind of full frontal. I thought it was funny as hell the way the movie was set up for that.