It’s All a Conspiracy!

(via Toothpaste for Dinner)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Michael
  • Baby_Raptor

    I love that the comic looks as if it were drawn in crayon. It’s so fitting.

  • glenmorangie10

    Technically a conspiracy requires two or more people agreeing to act. So according to the miracle of the trinity, God was both acting alone and conspiring with JC and the HS at the exact same time. This would be one confusing jury trial.

  • Space Cadet

    Whatever. They’re only theories. If they were true they would be called conspiracy facts.

    Did I do that right?

  • baal

    But jesus did get in the pyramid shaped space ship and flew here from Kolob to measure the theatans of the pre-isrealites and the worshipers of Kali. Have you ever noticed that people from those two groups constantly get the highest readings? It simultaneously pisses off the scientologies and mormons so I know it’s true. if you don’t accept this blog post as proof, I’ll happily send you my short story where it says the same thing.

  • Space Cadet

    I’ll remove my tinfoil hat next Tuesday at precisely 3:14 PM PST. Send me the short story via thought projection then.

  • Artor

    Don’t do that! That’s when the orbital mind-control satellites pass over the west coast!

  • Space Cadet

    That’s precisely what they want you to…*zap* The orbital mind control is good for you, friend. Remove your helmet and embrace the One Mind.

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    It took me a second to make the connection there, but now I can’t stop snickering and snorting. It’s making it pretty hard to kill orcs, let me tell you.

  • randomfactor

    You guys know the tinfoil just focuses the rays on you better, right?

  • WallofSleep
  • Guest

    They can’t find you if you go off-grid! Get off the net! Get off the net!!!

  • Monika Jankun-Kelly

    They can’t find you if you go off-grid. Get off the net! Get off the net!!!

  • The Vicar

    Ah, but you see, in order for Christianity (or, really, any other religion) to be true, there has to be a conspiracy between a whole host of natural and supernatural beings to pretend that the world is actually run on materialist principles. So, for example, angels all have to avoid being seen or intervening to save people. Any animistic spirits have to settle down and do nothing. Priests who should have huge amounts of power to do things have to refrain from using it. Etc. etc. etc.

  • The Vicar

    I’m not sure if Tom Holt said it FIRST, but he definitely said it earlier. (There’s a line in Who’s Afraid of Beowulf to the effect of “he had never believed in god or any other conspiracy theory”.)

  • Bruce Long

    That’s a giggle. However, conspiracy theories are still free speech. They are a little like the Internet. I avoid analogies most of the time, but if 98% of the material on the Internet is nonsense, we still should keep the Internet for the 2% of data that is valuable. As with the Internet, so with conspiracy theories. Even if 90% of them are rubbish, we need to recognise that sometimes conspiracy theorists are other things too – whistle blowers and critical thinkers. Sometimes they get it right, and given the nature of the beast, they can be opposed and oppressed (what if your conspiracy theory opposes big money commercial interests or a rich government at war – would there be an increased probability of effort being expended to discredit you? If it happened – even accidentally – to correspond to facts in the world, would the probability change?)

    Conspiracy theories that in the past have ended up verified become instead good journalism, or revelations (Erin Brokovich.) Like Daniel Dennett, I think that thought experiments are largely intuition pumps, but there are good thinkers who value intuition in philosophy and science. Thought experiments can also be a good way to reason by holding variables constant with background conditions ceteris paribus. Conspiracy theories can resemble both science fiction and thought experiments,and both have a not-terrible record of helping advance human knowledge.

    I did notice that in the cartoon, there is a bit of a non-sequitur plus category error. Only the last option requires a dualist ontology/metaphysics (requires there to be spooky stuff or supernatural stuff in addition to material stuff.) The liklihood principle applied to this cartoon would in fact increase the chances of the third option commensurate with the objective probability of the others (except for the limiting factors: no one can control literally everything, and Bush could not have done 9/11 on his own.)

  • Drakk

    Someone made his hat with the shiny side in.

  • edgar ayala

    If you search the internet you find plenty of conspiracies that are, they really happened, like here .
    Now the whole god deal is just on another level, I think we are doing a disservice to conspiracy theory, which in many cases is on to something.