Bryan Fischer: What Holds an Atom’s Nucleus Together? Jesus.

Someone give this man a Nobel Prize:

Strong Nuclear Force my ass. It’s always been Jesus just keeping those protons together against their will. In every atom. In the entire universe.

(via Right Wing Watch — Thanks to Kyle for the link!)

***Update***: A commenter reminds me that this type of situation was depicted in a Chick Tract:



About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • WallofSleep

    Using an atomic microscope, we can see what holds the atoms of Bryan Fischer’s brain cells together.

    http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1ykfyq9KF1qzv9mho1_400.gif

    • BobaFuct

      Came for ICP reference, was not disappointed.

      • baal

        Seriously though, if it’s Jesus why not these (this) clown? Were I proton, either would keep me from hiding behind other protons.

      • WallofSleep

        I actually watched their ‘movie’, Big Money Hustla$. The whole fuckin’ thing. Dear gawd.

        If you ever find yourself bored to tears, and in a particularly self loathing mood, see if you can make it through that load of shite.

  • cryofly

    Deserves a ‘No Bell’ prize.

    Want more proof that they are crazy? This guy is imagining himself to be in a psychiatric ward. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57588215/francis-i-didnt-want-to-be-pope/

  • Steve

    *Facepalm* Not even a caricature.

  • Beth

    Jesus glue!

  • eric

    This is just “tides go in, tides go out… college edition.”

  • curtcameron

    This exact idea, that Jesus is responsible for the Strong Nuclear Force, is from a Jack Chick tract. I remember seeing it while I was in college, and I got out of college 30 years ago.

    • Greg G.

      I thought of that Chick Tract when I read the headline.

  • trj

    So is Satan making our nuclear power plants work?

    • ortcutt

      No, Jesus just decides to let certain nuclei split apart, but only in the presence of neutrons with the right amount of energy. Isn’t The Lord truly great?

      • Reginald Selkirk

        Jesus just decides to let certain nuclei split apart

        Free will.

        • cipher

          Not if you’re a Calvinist.

  • WallofSleep

    How Bryan can deliver these “nuggets” with a straight face is beyond me.

    • http://www.examiner.com/atheism-in-los-angeles/hugh-kramer Hugh Kramer

      He’s well-paid to by Christian enablers. The American Family Association for whom he works, has an annual budget of around $18 million (see Wikipedia) and almost all of it comes from donations. It’s these donators whose values of faith and tribal loyalty have replaced rational judgment, that enable people like Fischer to spew any kind of nonsense he wants and make a good living doing it.

      • WallofSleep

        Indeed. And that right there should be all the proof anyone needs to conclude that there is no god.

  • duke_of_omnium

    Disagreeing with Fischer certainly makes me feel better about being an atheist – as in, however terrible a human being I may be, at least I’m not HIM — but surely Fischer is the low-hanging fruit, even by Christian standards.

    • Guest

      I know evangelicals who think this guy is batshit so yeah. People like him are some of the lowest hanging fruit.

    • Billy Bob

      I know evangelicals that think this guy is batshit.

  • Monika Jankun-Kelly

    Didn’t the renowned physicist dr. Chick already get a Nobel for that? He published a tract about it, as I recall. Actually, it was mostly about biology, but atoms get mentioned at the end.

    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp

    • trj

      Wow, using Kent Hovind as a source – thrice. Take that, evolutionists.

    • jdm8

      Chick’s drawing style reminds me of WWII propaganda showing “japs” as bizarre caricatures.

      • WallofSleep

        I find it interesting that Chick chose to make the “evil” evolutionist character look like a Nazi’s depiction of a Jew, while the “good” creationist is depicted more like an aryan.

        • LesterBallard

          They’re all like that. The one with the evil Native Americans; they look like Jewish caricatures straight out of Nazi Germany.

          • WallofSleep

            Oh yes, I’ve seen plenty of Jack Chick garbage. That, plus going to church is likely what got me started down the path to atheism.

            • SeekerLancer

              It’s funny how fundamentalists are kind of their own worst enemies. I may not have lost my faith so easily if the crazed beliefs of some evangelical street preachers and protesters hadn’t lead me to re-evaluate my own.

              • indorri

                It’s quite funny you mention this, because the perversity of some believers is what also triggered my “searching” stage which lead me to deism which eventually ended in atheism.

      • Art_Vandelay

        I was actually completely unaware of this Chick stuff before this. I don’t know whether I should thank you or hate you.

        • SeekerLancer

          I knew they existed I just didn’t think people actually left these Chick Tracts places for others to find. They just seemed way too ridiculous.

          Then I went to Texas and found one on top of a gumball machine for some kid to discover.

          This blew my mind.

          • WallofSleep

            I found one once that had been folded up like a bindle, which I found hilariously appropriate.

            For those who don’t know, a “bindle” is a piece of paper folded in such a way as to carry powdered drugs, like cocaine or meth.

        • WallofSleep

          You’ll definitely have to check this one out, then. It’s about evolution, and it is hilariously stupid.

          http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1041/1041_01.asp

          And for a palette cleanser, check out the Chick parody site:

          http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/

          • Art_Vandelay

            I have so few brain cells left after that; I’m shocked that I’m even able to type this. If there were a God, I’d hope he’d smite you for putting me through that.

            • WallofSleep

              Just sharin’ my pain, bro. Just sharin’ my pain.

    • SeekerLancer

      The student using apologist arguments to take down a snarky professor thing is hilarious to me, especially since I had a biology professor once who met this head on.

      On the first day of class she openly challenged any creationist to air their beliefs so she could crush them right off the bat because she wasn’t going to have her class interrupted for their BS once she actually started lecturing (I assume this happened to her many times in the past).

      Sadly nobody rose to the challenge.

  • http://www.examiner.com/atheism-in-los-angeles/hugh-kramer Hugh Kramer

    This makes perfect sense. After all, everyone knows that if you want to split an atom, you have to smash the bejeesus out of it!

    • Jonas

      The Large Hadron Collider – Smashing the bejeesus out of atoms since 2008

      • Geoff Boulton

        More powerful than Jebus? Go LHC!

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    ….

  • Edmond

    So, are angels made of atoms? Are demons composed of molecules? Do they operate on the same physical laws that humans do? If not, then why do WE need those components? Angels, demons, miracles, etc, operate on magic, with no need of the physical constraints we need: DNA, blood, electrolytes, bile, etc. If any part of the universe can function without the need for these processes, why can’t ALL parts of the universe function without them? Why does God’s Magic Posse get a free pass, while we in the natural world get stuck with naturalistic systems? Why does God’s magic fail when it crosses the border of the real universe?

    • Frank Mitchell

      Ironically, the whole “how many angels could dance on the head of a pin?” conundrum was basically this question: did angels take up space in the natural universe or not? If you posit they do, then in principle there’s some natural way to detect them. If you posit they don’t, then how can they manifest in our world? The same goes for other “metaphysical” or “paraormal” phenomena: if people have souls, then somewhere in the brain signals have to pop out of “spirit space” and into meat space; if they don’t, then how do souls in one plane affect bodies in another? Logicians and theologians alike have known about this problem for centuries. Theologians mutter about faith and miracles, while atheists generally cut the Gordian knot and reject all forms of dualism.

      Fischer and his ilk don’t even know or care about philosophical niceties. Like any other superstitious primitives, they expect to see little Jesii holding atoms together and a bearded old man waiting in the sky. When we moderns try to tell them we’ve looked and there are no skybeards or Jesunculi they call us lying disciples of Satan. (Satan, BTW, must be a super-hot glob of nickel and iron, because there’s no horned goat-legged monster at the center of the Earth.)

  • cipher

    [Facepalm - several times]

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    So is satan then the dark matter that is causing the universe to expand?

  • cipher

    The really sad thing is that they think scientists never ask these questions, or have no answers for them. “Opposing charges? Why, I never considered that!” Moreover, they “heard the Gospel” and became immediately convinced, so they think it has that kind of magical power over everyone – all you need is for someone to say, “Therefore, Jesus!”, and all objections just melt away.

    As I keep saying, they’re operating at the developmental level of small children. This is the reason we need to implement testing of intelligence, sanity and developmental level as a prerequisite for voting.

    • baal

      When I worked at a State House in the US, I really wanted a test for public office that included the ability to sort recycling from trash. It wasted tax payer money that the conservatives endlessly treated the two the same (and made life harder on the ‘little’ people).

  • Matt D

    A glib answer only tells me his paycheck is more important to him than the truth.

  • SeekerLancer

    I guess this totally explains why portable, unlicensed particle accelerators work so well as weapons against the supernatural. Egon knew what he was doing!

  • indorri

    Assuming it’s from the Chick Tract, this is the same weird logic of those who try to do the Second Law of Themodynamics thing. They accept some thing of the universe is true, and assume that another thing being true contradicts it, thus the universe can’t exist as it is unless Jesus!

  • Geoff Boulton

    Quick, teach the controversy!

  • Robster

    What’s a “Chick Tract”? Is that another name for a chicken run?

    • WallofSleep

      Jack T. Chick. Creator and illustrator of many bigoted, ignorant, and downright false, christian religious tracts. Count yourself lucky, as this is a case of ignorance truly being bliss.

      However, if you’re in a masochistic mood, scroll down the comments. I left a link to his inane bullshit in another comment.

  • Rain

    This is actually kinda common with “evangelicals”. “Evangelical” might as well mean “fundy that thinks they’re intellectual” for all intents and purposes. Otherwise known as the self-labeled “thinking Christian”.

    Person A: “As a thinking Christian…”
    Person B: “Oh boy, here comes some fundy stuff…”

  • Bdole

    Riddle me this Bryan Fischer, what prevents those negative electrons from falling into the positively charged nucleus?

  • http://springygoddess.blogspot.com/ Astreja

    Well, no darned wonder people aren’t getting answers to their prayers — This Jesus fellow is too busy changing the spin on particles, mucking about with velocity whenever someone tries to observe them, and checking on that cat in the box.

  • busterggi

    So what holds Jesus together other than ignorance?

  • keddaw

    Every time you masturbate an atom splits.

  • Roger Peritone

    I’ve found out where some forum had some interaction with Kent Hovind, who is apparently the author of “Big Daddy”.

    • Roger Peritone

      I’ve found more discussion about that Jack Chick here.on the “Iron Chariots” wiki.

  • Sue Bue

    This Jesus is a very busy man. How can he possibly have time to help me find my car keys?

    • Bill D. Cat

      Jesus hid your car keys on purpose because he’s petty like that sometimes.

  • JasonTorpy

    Refrigerator magnets should fall off the fridge because they have mass. Jesus holds them on.

  • Stealth Avenue

    Wow….


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X