Noah’s Arks Around the World

Christianity Today has a nice graphic about the various Noah’s Ark exhibits around the world — at least the attempted exhibits — and whether they’re funded or not. Here’s just a part of it (PDF):

One things that’s missing from the graphic is whether or not the sponsors of these exhibits believe Noah’s Ark was an actual thing or just a story. Are they trying to recreate something you’d find in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter or a museum of natural history?

The folks at Answers in Genesis certainly think they’re recreating a part of history. Thankfully, their funding is running dry.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • koseighty

    Personally, I think using a steel frame is cheating.

    Certainly if a 600 year old bronze age man could build such a large structure of wood only we can do so today with our engineering knowledge.

    • closetatheist

      You’re absolutely right. They should totally use wood, especially since it didn’t rot or otherwise decay during the 120 years it took Noah to build the ark. Heck, it would outlast steel!

      • Greg G.

        Now you have me wondering whether Noah, his wife, his sons and daughters-in-law had sex for over a century during the building of the Ark. If they did, how did they not have children or did they not include them? “Sorry, honey, we’d like to take you but we need space for all these animals that will go extinct later.”

        • Spuddie

          I still wonder how they were able to stand all that herbivore poop permeating the air below decks. It would have been a floating cholera incubator.

          • Greg G.

            I’ve been told that they were immune to disease back then. It was only when the water vapor canopy was removed that the cosmic rays could have detrimental effects on the immune system.

            I’ve also been told that the atmosphere had more oxygen and the immune system is less efficient with lower oxygen density.

            One guy said they had a moon pool in the bottom of the boat to shovel the manure into. He couldn’t comprehend that water would flow in unless the whole ark was air tight so it would be impossible to get fresh air.

            • Spuddie

              I heard they kept the carnivores happy by feeding them unicorns, faeries and elves.

              • Greg G.

                I got it. Noah taught all the millions of beetle species to roll balls of dung up and out of the Ark and that’s how they kept the Ark clean. Many species of beetle are still doing it to this day.

              • closetatheist

                And the bodies of the drowned unbelievers?

            • closetatheist

              oh for feck’s sake, a moon pool?! Hearing the batsh!t crazy ways that people try and reconcile this ancient book with reality never gets old.

            • http://nomadwarriormonk.blogspot.com/ Cyrus Palmer

              People really believe those things? Wow….

        • closetatheist

          right, and how did these people breed when they were at least 100 years past mating age? oh wait. nevermind. magi-errr, I mean god did it.

      • mikespeir

        And all this thing has to withstand is the occasional thunderstorm, not flood waters rising at 5 or 6 inches per minute, with all the attendant atmospheric cataclysms.

  • Art_Vandelay

    “The Ark Encounter – Because nothing says great family fun like mass genocide via drowning!”

    • JET

      I’ve often wondered if this will be an interactive exhibit when (and if) it is ever completed. One family will be randomly selected from the crowd to board the Ark, while the rest are left to fend for themselves when the floodgates are opened?

      • Art_Vandelay

        And they all get Darwin Awards! You can just taste the irony!

  • Yoav

    …and recreate a sinful antediluvian city.

    If done properly that sound like way more fun than Ken Ham can handle.

    • http://atheistlutheran.blogspot.com/ MargueriteF

      It would also seem to bring up things that would not appeal to their target audience. Just imagine: “Mommy, it says there’s a house of prostitution here. What’s prostitution?”

  • Christopher Borum

    Pastor Greene took too long. Once the SCOTUS releases its marriage decisions, it will be too late.

  • Geoff Boulton

    Great. I hope someone from the Creation Museum will be designated to load all the animals on the ark and show us how it was done. At last a real experiment, with a falsifiable hypothesis, from the Creation Museum ‘science’ team. They’ve even got a zoo to start the ball rolling. Not sure where they’ll get the millions of other species from though.

    • dats3

      Yeah, and get them to travel all over the world collecting them too. I’d be interested in knowing how they got Empire Penguins on the ark. And the bald eagle. Oh those silly creationists.

      • The Other Weirdo

        And it has to be travel capabilities contemporary of a possible Noah. No airplanes, modern-powered steel cargo ships or crap like that.

      • averydashwood

        Penguins and Eagles are child’s play. Try collecting breeding pairs of the million or so species of beetles. I would think that army ants would also be a bitch to collect and keep on board.

        • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

          Or *shudder* fire ants. Or all the types of mosquitoes. Or Africanized honey bees. Or brown recluses, or any number of terribly poisonous insects and arachnids.

          • Space Cadet

            Or termites, which, I don’t know, might be bad on a ship made of wood.

      • Grotoff

        Particularly the koala. It has a very specific diet and is NOT capable of long distance journeys.

  • dats3

    I know a lot of folks here do not believe that Noah’s ark was real. Well, I have to tell you, it IS real. My son played with it along with little plastic Noah and family and all the little plastic animals for several years every time he took a bath. It wasnt that expensive either, $15 maybe. He had lots of fun drowning everyone, but he especially enjoyed when the lions and tigers teamed up and ate everyone. Good times.

    • JET

      Reminds me of when my kids used to play Roller Coaster Tycoon. They would drown all their employees by catapulting them into the neighboring park’s lake just prior to payday. Fortunately neither decided to pursue an MBA…

      • Spuddie

        I think that’s a regular practice at the Apple plants in China.

  • closetatheist

    I’m sincerely interested in finding out what exactly this recreation of a “sinful city” would look like…It would be out of the question to portray acts that are sexually explicit in a family park and other “sins” would be too heinous. That leaves a lot of petty sins to be depicted – things that go on all the time now a days, without god’s destruction raining down. *gasp* shoplifting! working on the Sabbath! drunkenness! immodesty! greed! It would make the story seem laughable, ridiculous, and without merit….”so mommy, god destroyed all mankind because they do the same things we do today?” *blank stare*

    wait, on second thought, I think they’ll probably just depict a lot of guys with mustaches, sideways glances, and their hands rubbing together. Everyone knows someone who looks like that is evil and it’ll keep things simple for them.

    • Fred

      “wait, on second thought, I think they’ll probably just depict a lot of
      guys with mustaches, sideways glances, and their hands rubbing together.

      ….and they’ll be “ethnic”.

  • Mario Strada

    What I really would like to see is someone building a sea worthy Ark and stuff it with wild animals. I’d even let them get off the requirements to have predators on board. As far as I am concerned they can use a variety of herd animals, feed them and shovel their poop overboard day, after day, after day. And of course the crew cannot be larger than Noah and his family. No modern equipment, no trucks, nothing with a motor allowed.

    I would just feel sorry for the animals, but it would be a great life lesson for these cooks.

    You know another thing that would be nice? A simulated ark where the animals poop and eat while Noah and co. run around shoveling and feeding and cleaning. No animals need be neglected for it but I bet that if they accelerate the simulation the ark would fill with poop very quickly. Actually, it would make a funny SimCity like game. Except that it always ends with a boat full of poop.

    • aaa

      “a boat full of poop”

      Not sure which reply to go with
      1. Pretty much describes all religion
      2. Would make a good band name.

    • sudon’t

      Look, you know the answer to every logical problem in the Bible is some form of, “It was a miracle.” You can’t argue with that, so why bother?

  • Rain

    The folks at Answers in Genesis certainly think they’re recreating a part of history. Thankfully, their funding is running dry.

    Actually they say they are not precisely replicating the ark, nor is it intended to serve the same purpose as the Biblical ark. So yeah, that leaves them plenty of leeway to weasel out of whatever they want and to build it however they want, and just to do whatever they feel like. (Including installing air conditioning hopefully, lol.)

  • L.Long

    These people KNOW it is a BS story or they could really test it. Make it of wood according to spec and do at the present coast line. Then when climate change melts the ice and raises the sea level they can see that their creation will sink and if it doesn’t then they can load two of every kind (whatever that is) and bring them to safer land .

    • Greg G.

      Can’t do it. Noah didn’t save any gopher tree seeds before he cut them all down. He cut down the last tree to make a door for the head. You can’t build an ark without gopher wood.

      • busterggi

        No excuse! Just gather a lot of gophers together, get them horny and there’s your gopher wood.

        • Spuddie

          Gopher Wood would be my gay porn name.

        • Greg G.

          Noah’s sons were dumber than tree stumps. Whenever he used up all the lumber, he would tell his sons, “Go for wood!” They thought it was the type of wood and told their grandkids that.

    • Space Cadet

      Somebody needs to tell the Sloths to get going now.

  • decathelite

    Take the following story:

    “The president has ordered that almost everybody in America will be executed by nuclear proliferation and targeted drone strikes, because he thinks everybody is really awful. The only people that will be spared are Larry the White House Intern, and Larry’s family, because they are the only ones loyal to the president. After pushing the big red button, the president tells Larry he promises not to ever wipe out America again, though every once in a while he nukes a random city near the coastline for mysterious reasons.”

    Tell this story in a very conservative forum, like WND or Brietbart, and the commenters will rage hard about how this is where we are headed under Obama. Then tell them that it’s the same as the flood story in Genesis and enjoy and endless stream of epic meltdown comments.

    • The Other Weirdo

      That’s epic. I’m saving it.

  • Bert

    What I’d like to see is an evolution zoo. Instead of being arranged by geographical area, which is how my local zoo does it, the animals would be arranged in closely related groups. So all the cats together, wolves and foxes together, chimps, gorillas and orangutans together, elephants with manatees and aardvarks..and the paths would be arranged in a tree shape, with each animal on a ‘branch’ leading back to a central ‘trunk’. Then there’d be animatronic models of extinct animals, and maybe back at the start there’d be a model of a hydrothermic vent, or something.

    • The Other Weirdo

      Dangerous. A stray lighting bolt could bring one of those animatronic monstrosities to life, and then nobody would enjoy the zoo.

  • busterggi

    If they could just find the original they wouldn’t need to rebuild it. I understand its docked between the Argo and the Pequod.

  • SeekerLancer

    Creation Museum revenues are declining is the good news that I’m taking away from this post.

  • thilinab

    I’ve heard someone say that the dinosaur fossils were from animals that couldn’t make it on to the ark and got buried (or something like that). I wonder how they explain fossils of marine animals like a plesiosaur.

    • Geoff Boulton

      Stranded on mountain tops when the waters went down. Same thing with fish, crocodiles, etc.;-)

  • Robster

    Have these errr…entrepreners considered naming their new ark parks TITANARK? That would broaden their appeal and open whole new revenue streams and would be a good suggestion of how their enterprises will hopefully end up.

  • sudon’t

    If Noah and his family could build an ark by themselves, I don’t see why these people are having problems. Just get out there and do it.


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