Christian Fundies Find Another Thing to Get Upset About: Uncovered Female Heads

Out of all the wrongs that need addressing in the world, what single cause should Christians give their priority? Is it curbing hunger? Helping the sick? Rooting out the cabal of clergy pedophiles?

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

It’s getting women to cover their heads during worship. That’s what the Christians behind the head covering movement (HCM) believe, anyway. They follow the Calvinist theologian John Murray:

Above anything else, they follow the Bible. The head-coverers quote 1 Corinthians 11:4-15:

Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head. But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved.

knew God didn’t like Sinead O’Connor… and now we have biblical proof!

But I digress. Back to 1 Corinthians:

Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

What happens if women’s tresses are left uncovered? Such a sight is (you guessed it) an abomination unto the Lord. On the head-covering website we learn that obedience to God separates the just from the unjust, and here’s what’s happens to the latter: they will be subjected to

judgment and eternal conscious punishment in hell, as our Lord himself taught.

Isn’t that sweet?

One of the testimonies on the site is from a Melissa Walker, who started covering not even two weeks ago (she’s the only woman in her Colorado church to do so) but who must already feel more virtuous than all the other ladies, considering that they are hos hussies floozies sinners — by the HCM’s own definition, anyway.

To get a sense of what’s really motivating the head covering movement, R.C. Sproul‘s quote on the home page is instructive (Sproul is a Calvinist warrior, a Council member of the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals, and a true-blue believer in the Bible’s inerrancy):

The wearing of fabric head coverings in worship was universally the practice of Christian women until the twentieth century. What happened? Did we suddenly find some biblical truth to which the saints for thousands of years were blind? Or were our biblical views of women gradually eroded by the modern feminist movement that has infiltrated the Church?”

There you have it. The men behind the HCM have bones to pick and scores to settle, with an eye on pushing feminists from the faith — and on regaining control over uppity womenfolk. As my friend Benjamin Corey (an Anabaptist preacher, no less) points out, Ms. Walker and other female providers of HCM testimonials call themselves their husbands’ “help-meets,” a label that makes us both cringe thanks to the second-fiddle, subjugated-woman connotation.

I actually love that these people exist (and that they have a nice crisp-looking website that demonstrates that they know they don’t live in the 19th — or the 5th — century). That’s because their misogynist hooey will likely do more damage to the cause of Christianity than a hundred atheist blog posts ever could.

About Terry Firma

Terry Firma, though born and Journalism-school-educated in Europe, has lived in the U.S. for the past 20-odd years. Stateside, his feature articles have been published in the New York Times, Reason, Rolling Stone, Playboy, and Wired. Terry is the founder and Main Mischief Maker of Moral Compass, a site that pokes fun at the delusional claim by people of faith that a belief in God equips them with superior moral standards.

  • Tainda

    Didn’t Jeebus have long hair?

    • Art_Vandelay

      That’s actually Cesare Borgias. Given that he was an Arabic Jew, he probably had short black curly hair.

      • Tainda

        You have a point!

        But as modern Christians think, he has long hair.

        • Gus Snarp

          Either way, they think Sampson was favored by God too, right? Did the “new covenant” change the rules on hair length right along with allowing the picking and choosing of any of the Levitical laws?

          • Remko Wagemakers

            So… According to their logic, Sampson didn’t lost his strength after Delilah cut off his hair, but she gave him extensions?

    • ajginn

      Yes, but he still kicked much ass in the ring!

      http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=product&id=15

      • Tainda

        That’s one manly man Jesus!!!

      • Art_Vandelay

        Who knew Barry Gibb could box?

        • Tainda

          Reminded me of Guy on a Buffalo

  • BeasKnees

    This kind of makes me want to shave my head.

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    They… they DO know that hair grows regardless of gender, right?

    • gimpi1

      That’s just what I was thinking. The biblical idea that “nature teaches us” is just plain silly. In many cultures, long hair was universal, or a mark of status, not a gender thing. Beards are naturally gendered. Hair-length isn’t.

      • b s

        “Beards are naturally gendered”

        ever met my mother in law?

        • gimpi1

          Or mine. Good point, bs :)

        • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw m6wg4bxw

          I sympathize. I have horrible memories from my early youth of having my face absolutely smooshed against the prickley bearded face of an aunt as she hugged me.

    • icecreamassassin

      That is something that one would learn by observing reality.

      So…they may not know.

    • http://www.asmashingblog.blogspot.com/ D.L F

      That is a good point and has always made me wonder what the heck Paul was going on about. The best explanation that I can think of is that he wanted to show how ‘Roman’ he and other Christians were compared to those ungodly pagans from the north. Roman men had short, civilized hair cuts and men from the north let their hair grow long. It was probably a way for a minority religion to insinuate themselves with the broader culture but it is still very weird logic.

    • Gus Snarp

      Although, I have to admit, this looks pretty darned unnatural: http://blundermum.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/N51697-1f9c.jpg

    • Rain

      They

      It’s one guy, this guy…

      http://www.youtube.com/user/mrjgardiner

      The photos look fake. Who knows if the testimonies are real. It looks like he makes money selling books and trolling for free publicity, like the rest of the religious internet, how shall we say, “entrepreneurs”.

      • C.L. Honeycutt

        He probably has some plants and candy bars, maybe even a cougar.

        /ChristopherWalken

      • Whirlwitch

        So it’s like the Catholic League, which consists entirely, as far as anyone can tell, of Bill Donohue.

    • closetatheist

      On their website they claim that a man’s tendency to bald and lose hair earlier in life is *proof* that men are not meant by Gawd to have luscious locks.
      I don’t even know how to begin formulating an argument against that. There are just so many incorrect assumptions behind it that I don’t feel capable of tackling it.

      • C.L. Honeycutt

        Huh. That actually helps explain the whole thing. It’s sour grapes. Nothing else.

  • http://atheistlutheran.blogspot.com/ MargueriteF

    Wow. Just when you think evangelicals couldn’t possibly get any more backward-looking and antifeminist, they surprise you.

  • Stev84

    More Calvinist insanity. It’s truly the most insane, disgusting, inhuman and immoral belief system ever devised. However, it’s really just Christianity taken to its logical extreme. Which shows that the entire theology is corrupt at its core.

    • Greg G.

      However, it’s really just Christianity taken to its logical extreme.

      That’s exactly what I’ve been saying for years. It’s as if you present a reduction ad absurdum argument but they embrace it as theology.

      They cite their two dozen verses to prove Calvinism and their opponents quote their two dozen verses that prove Arminianism. Neither side realizes the debate only disproves the inerrancy of the Bible and invalidates the basis for all their claims.

  • Shoebutton

    Now that they have pretty much lost on the Gay marriage thing, time to git those wimmin folk back in line .
    Surely even christians must start seeing the insanity.

  • Dana

    If Paul was such a close follower of Jesus’ teachings and Christianity holds him in high regard, then why do pictures of Jesus depict him as having long hair? Either Paul is a liar or many Christians with long-haired Jesus pictures on their wall haven’t read their bibles (or choose to ignore its writings). And if we take this a step further and think about nature’s laws….does it make any sense what Paul is saying? How can long hair be disgraceful on men’s head, but glorious on women’s heads when evolution has supplied both genders with the same location of hair on their heads? Why would God supply men with head hair in the first place if it is such a disgrace? Do Christians have any sense of critical thought when it comes to the bible?

    • The Other Weirdo

      No. They don’t.

    • http://atheistlutheran.blogspot.com/ MargueriteF

      “If Paul was such a close follower of Jesus’ teachings and Christianity holds him in high regard, then why do pictures of Jesus depict him as having long hair?”

      Paul never actually met Jesus, and his writings suggest he actually didn’t know much about him (or conversely that a lot of the Gospels were invented after Paul wrote his epistles). It might have been a shock to him to learn that Jesus had long hair:-).

      • EchoDodgerBravo

        How would anyone know if any of the various Jesus figures had long hair or short hair? No one personally met any of these characters.

        • http://atheistlutheran.blogspot.com/ MargueriteF

          Well, exactly. Paul didn’t know if Jesus had long hair, any more than the rest of us. But Paul didn’t know any of the other “facts” about Jesus either. Not that it matters– I don’t get the impression Paul was the type to let facts stand in the way of his opinions.

    • 3lemenope

      Do Christians have any sense of critical thought when it comes to the bible?

      Funny you should say this. I was just yelled at yesterday by a Christian for reading the Bible logically.

      • Matt D

        You could try pointing out their defensive nature proves they have not examined their faith honestly because an emotional outburst is a childs response to being questioned, not an mature adults.

        • 3lemenope

          To be fair, if I had, I would have only been one among about two dozen people who would have been yelling exactly that at him.

    • Gus Snarp

      One way or another, I’m pretty sure Paul was a liar. He’s also terribly inconsistent, he wrote letters to one set of people telling them to live one way, and a completely opposite set of instructions to another set of people.

      It’s rather interesting how much of modern Christianity is built on Paul. Says a lot about authoritarianism. It could be argued that Christianity before Paul was fairly anti-authoritarian, but Paul was an authoritarian through and through, and that’s the religion he built. If there was a Jesus. If the general picture of the gospels is at all accurate with regard to the philosophy of that person or even of the first Christians, then almost everything about Paul is entirely antithetical to that original Christianity, and it’s the part that fundamentalists love best outside the Old Testament. Ask a fundamentalist for an inspiring quote from the Bible and you’ll certainly hear from the gospels, but when it comes to ordering their lives and making rules, they turn to the Old Testament and Paul, because they too are authoritarians at heart.

      • Octoberfurst

        I always found it odd that the vast majority of the New Testament was written by Paul— a man who never met Jesus while he was alive but yet is considered an authority on what Jesus wanted and believed. Does that make ANY sense to anyone?

        • Stev84

          As much sense as Chewbecca living on Endor

          • Jeff

            Why would a wookiee… an eight-foot-tall WOOKIEE…. want to live on a planet with a bunch of three-foot ewoks? It. Does not. Make. Sense.

            • http://gloomcookie613.tumblr.com GloomCookie613

              Maybe growing up Chewie was the shortest wookie and living on Endor allows him to feel tall?

            • b s

              “Why would a wookiee… an eight-foot-tall WOOKIEE…. want to live on a planet with a bunch of three-foot ewoks? ”

              Because they’re snack size?

        • Matt D

          It doesn’t make sense at all, but that’s because we’ve learned to examine their claims with a critical eye, while their followers either learn to do the same and leave, do not bother at all, or worse, do not care about the inconsistencies.

        • ajginn

          I believe the author of Luke-Acts wrote more than Paul, particularly when you consider that modern scholars think Paul only authored 7 of the 13 epistles attributed to him.

          • Greg G.

            Not to mention that 13 of 27 books is still a minority.

        • sane37

          so… Fox News?

      • http://www.asmashingblog.blogspot.com/ D.L F

        Many right wing Christians don’t really follow Jesus’ teachings. If they did, they’d be terrified to not help the poor. Jesus basically said that he won’t recognize anyone who didn’t help or feed the needy. I’m not certain why Paul is so appealing. His teachings are very confusing and contradictory. Plus, he doesn’t seem to like women very much

        • Gus Snarp

          I’m not certain why Paul is so appealing. . . Plus, he doesn’t seem to like women very much

          I think you’ve got your explanation right there. ;-)

    • Alice

      Good point, didn’t pretty much all Jewish men have long hair back then? Or is that a modern misconception?

      • Gringa

        Maybe only the sideburns, since they are not on top of the head? I’ve always thought that was the weirdest hair “style” ever.

        • Alice

          Probably, and I’ve always thought the same thing.

    • Simon
  • Gus Snarp

    Meanwhile, orthodox Jewish women are supposed to shave their heads and keep them covered. It really fascinates me how very little actually separates fundamentalists among Christians, Muslims, and Jews. Now if we could convince them all to have their own little fundamentalist country and leave the modern world the hell alone.

    • Gringa

      I didn’t think they shaved their heads, I thought they just had to cover their real hair.

      • Gus Snarp

        It is my understanding that, at least in some sects, women are to remove every hair from their body, lest their real hair be accidentally seen.

        • monyNH

          Brazilians for everyone!

          • Tainda

            I’m not woman enough for that!

      • Yoav

        In orthodox Judaism married women are supposed to cover their hair, what constitute covering changes with the different sects. Only few of the more extreme ones actually demand that women shave their hair. In most haredi groups wigs are the most common option and cause some intra-nutjob squabbles since as to whether a wig that look like real hair is not as alluring as the real thing and a few years ago there was a whole quafafle when it was published that wig makers were buying human hair from India where some of it was cut during religious ceremonies so some of the nuttier rabbis were concerned that it may carry Hindu god cutties. all in all there’s enough stupid in just this one issue for several hundred blog posts.

        • kaydenpat

          “Hindu god cooties”. Very funny! Those cooties would be cute though.

  • chrisalgoo

    But we certainly can’t have Sharia law.

    • 3lemenope

      Competition.

    • Yoav

      I don’t remember who it was that coined the term fatwa envy but it defiantly apply here.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com Holytape

    If they see a mullet, do their heads explode?

    • Tainda

      I know mine does

    • sane37

      A mullet is an affront to, well, everything.

  • ptfe

    Just wanted to point this out about the zany phrase “help-meet”:

    “helpmate (n.): ‘companion’, 1715, altered from helpmeet, a ghose word, from the Biblical translation of Latin adjutorium simile sibi [Gen. ii:18] as ‘an help meet (i.e. fit) for him’ (Hebrew ‘ezer keneghdo), which alread by 1673 was being printed as help-meet and mistaken for one word.” Source

    So basically someone read that part of the Bible and didn’t understand the word “meet”, so they stuffed it together with “help” and made a new, even creepier word.

    • skinnercitycyclist

      ptfe, thanks for mentioning that.

    • Jeff

      I don’t want to be a helpmeet, but maybe I could be a footgrab or a barnshoot or a beanslap.

  • John Small Berries

    You know, it’s funny, but the only example I can think of from nature in which the male’s hair grows to a different length than the female’s is the lion – and it’s very definitely the male whose hair is longer.

    But I can’t for the life of me think of any examples in nature involving head coverings. So what the heck are they talking about?

    • Gus Snarp

      Of course, male facial hair in humans grows longer. If they want a natural distinction between men and women, should all men grow beards? (I mean, we all know beards are superior, except perhaps in the case of truly outstanding mustaches like the one in your profile pic.)

      • McAtheist

        Leviticus 19:27.

        Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. McAtheist

        • Gus Snarp

          I’m still waiting for the Christian cult that attempts to follow as many of the Levitical laws and Paul’s rules and Jesus’s rules as possible all at once. They’d look and dress like ultra-orthodox Jews, but they’d also give away all their worldly possessions, and somehow try to figure out which of Paul’s contradictory edicts to follow….

          OK, surely this already exists….

        • Intelligent Donkey

          Yeah, here’s the thing: Heads are naturally round. Heads don’t have corners!

    • closetatheist

      John, Paul is actually using the “appeal to nature” argument which is really an appeal to societal norms… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_nature
      Scroll down to the section on “History” and the first paragraph should clear it up for you.

    • Monika Jankun-Kelly

      Muslims have heated debates about this. Are beards required or just recommended? Can you trim and groom them or do you have to go all Amish? Do goatees and chinstraps count? Why is a bushy mustache not sufficient proof of manhood? They have internet memes about this!

  • Itsrealfunnythat

    Blame the feminists, telling women not to cover their heads… blasphemy.

  • Gus Snarp

    Judging from the picture shown here, these guys hired pretty decent graphic designers, which is surprising. But I don’t think their website was ready for much traffic, it doesn’t seem to be serving up any of that lovely graphic design now. I guess you broke it.

    • The Other Weirdo

      Probably running on a PC-AT.

      • Gus Snarp

        I had one of those. I found a website a few years back that was proudly running on a TRS-80 with cassette tape storage.

        • The Other Weirdo

          Now there we have an example of mad code porting skills. :)

        • Stev84

          It’s easily possible to run simple web servers on small microcontrollers. Google “AVR web server”. Image search also brings up tons of examples.

  • Baby_Raptor

    So first it was that one dude saying that women who wear pants caused the Colorado fires, and now we have “women must wear head coverings.”

    The fundies are getting a little…Muslim.

    • Gus Snarp

      Wow, and here I though it had to do with weather conditions, a long history of fire suppression that allows a buildup of fire susceptible materials, and often short term human carelessness. Natural causes? Climate change? People building houses in the middle of forests and demanding that they can have brush and trees surrounding their house, but not be at risk of fire? No, we’d have to consider actions that make our lives slightly less luxurious if that were true. Let’s blame it on pants wearing feminists and teh gay!

      • Baby_Raptor

        Yup. In fact, you can aim it all at me. I’m Bi, and you never catch me in anything but jeans unless I’m can’t-get-out-of-bed sick. So you have a nice little blame package right here to shoot at! :)

        • Tainda

          Sounds like me lol

          • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

            Me too, except the Bi part. Jeans ftw though!

  • Mikeystyle

    Do these guys eat shellfish? Wear clothes of two colors or fibers? Cut their beards? Do anything but worship on a Sunday? Or are the Bible’s “rules” only for the women?

    • Stev84

      Those are OT rules. The only one of those that still counts is the one about killing gays. Otherwise it’s all about the stuff Paul made up.

      • gimpi1

        Some Christian groups insist on Sabbath-keeping. Some go for stoning disobedient children. Some want to kill unfaithful wives (but not husbands). Some junk almost all of the Leviticus laws. There’s no groups I’m aware of that practice Jubilee years or still keep slaves taken in foreign lands.

        This inconsistency is attributed to being “under grace” rather than “under law” due to Christ’s sacrifice.

        There appears to be several versions of the “under grace, not law” memo out there. I can’t find any copies on my desk anywhere. I hate it when I lose important documents.

  • katiehippie

    Those verses say to me that the woman’s long hair is the covering. “For her hair is given to her for a covering.” So an extra hat/scarf/whatever is a double one. How the heck do you ‘disgrace your head’ ?

    • Octoberfurst

      I wondered that too.

    • Gringa

      Agreed, that’s how I read it. So only women who shave or lose their hair must cover their heads. As if cancer patients didn’t have enough to worry about.

    • http://www.asmashingblog.blogspot.com/ D.L F

      By head, they mean husband, I think. Its been a long time since I read those verses so I might be wrong. I think that there is a verse that says that the head of every man is god but the head of every woman is her husband? I might be wrong but I swear I remember reading that somewhere in the bible

      • Len

        So the woman has to cover her husband. Sounds logical.

        • Whirlwitch

          Of course! Who did you think was making the clothes for the family? Not a lot of ready-to-wear in that era.

        • Anymouse

          Is that why some women are called their husband’s “beard”?

    • katiehippie

      Yeah, that’s clear as mud.

  • DesertSun59

    Whew. Good thing we live in the 21st century in a secular country instead of living a tribal existence in the Middle East in the Bronze Age.

    Oh, wait….

  • Kahomono

    Poe?

  • Travelingstu

    Your awesome. Thanks for doing these blogs.

  • ahermit

    This man has long, curly black hair halfway down my back.

    It’s a shame none of it grows on my head anymore….

  • Christopher Salihe Payne

    It’s funny that god didn’t just create women with their heads covered since he seems to care so much about it.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Oh y’know, Free Will or something.

    • ajginn

      Eve was created with a shroud of mist around her head before the Fall blew it away.

  • Glasofruix

    Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her?

    Ummmm, what? What about long haired aryan looking Jesus?

    • Anymouse

      That’s not nature.

  • Octoberfurst

    Calvinists—leading Christians straight into the 8th century! I say let ‘em keep talking! They do more damage to their faith than athiests ever could. What’s next? Mandatory ankle length dresses for women?

    • wombat

      Asking if it’s next implies that they aren’t demanding it already . . .

  • beatonfam

    If I read Melissa Walker’s testimony correctly she was married at 16. ??? Someone please read that link and tell me if it doesn’t seem more than a little bit contrived. It’s just a bit too shiny and perfect. I think they made it up.

    • Anne

      Not to mention the picture is rather crudely photoshopped! It looks like stock photo – I bet a little bit of time searching would prove that out. She looks very familiar…

      • Gringa

        Look at the other “testimonials” and tell me that a single one isn’t photoshopped. The only one that looks vaguely possible is the last one, but it really looks to me as if that person did it as a joke.

  • cryofly

    Covering the head is a fundamental feature of the Judaic religions. Given a chance christians will enforce it (and hide their women). Alas they do not want to appear as hypocrites, as they continue to ridicule and lambast islam for the same feature.

  • advancedatheist

    Funny reading this in the context of the manosphere blogs. The guys who write for those say that when you get into a relationship with a woman, she signals that she has lost respect for you, and sexual interest in you, when she cuts her hair.

    In other words, women do use their hair to communicate things about their sexuality, and the conservative christians understand this on some level when they want their womenfolk to cover their heads in church.

    • Tainda

      Ugh, I hate that! We don’t cut our hair for men. At least I don’t, maybe some women do. I have always preferred my hair cut short. Mainly because I have really fine hair and when it’s long it looks dirty and limp constantly.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      A few decades of managing long hair gets really, really old.

      • gimpi1

        Also, as we age, long hair is uncomfortable. Think hot flashes. I have always worn my hair long, but since the “power surges” have started, I’m considering a crew cut.

    • Gadfly156

      (off topic)
      Why do men in this generation feel the need to come up with this kind of b/s anyway? If I cut my hair it’s because I’m sick of it being long and want to do something different. If I have something to communicate with my love partner I will use my words like a big girl. I don’t need some generalized inference about it hanging over my head to have to wade through. I despise memetic and social-media promulgation of these toxic stereotypes and assumptions. They are every bit as vile as all the “sexpectation” crap that goes right along with them in modern bachelor subculture — crap like, if a woman won’t do X or Y with you sexually it means she’s “not that into you” or “not giving you everything” — what a crock. Different people like or dislike different sexual activities based on their own preferences and how things feel for them, not based on trying to make some inarticulate statement. Who comes up with this garbage anyway? Word to the wise: ignore it. It’s all b/s and will only deteriorate your ability to have a healthy relationship, NOT clue you into some “secret signal” your “woman” is trying to send you.

      • wombat

        I’ve twice shaved waist-length hair for cancer fundraisers. What does that say about my relationships at the time? (The most recent time, the man I’m now with donated $300 and asked me out. Does that screw things up further?)
        Wait. It says nothing. Because, as you said, I use my words like a big girl, and he uses his words like a big boy.

    • Carolina

      False, I keep my hair really long (that’s an old picture) because I like it better that way, which has nothing to do with men ¬¬

    • wombat

      Citation please? I’d like to look into this batshittery.

  • BobaFuct

    I actually brought this up to my mom in an argum…er, discussion we were having, about how Christians pick and choose which rules to follow. She said she’d very seriously considered covering her head in church, which really blew me away. So I will not be surprised at all if this movement takes off. I think, however, that it will eventually lead to more people leaving the church. I think a lot of men and women can explain away (at least to themselves) a lot of the misogyny of the bible, but this is so completely arbitrary I think it will be a last straw for many of them.

    • Gadfly156

      Ask her if she ever “seriously considered” foregoing pork and shellfish in her diet too, or avoiding all garments made of more than one fiber type.

      • BobaFuct

        Well, the difference is that’s an OT prohibition meant for the Israelites, whereas Paul is speaking to the Gentiles, so that actually carries weight for people like my mom. That doesn’t make it rational or not insane here in the real world, but it’s a nuance that makes sense and is extremely important within the context of Christianity.

  • Ahab

    “Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him…”

    One can only imagine what Murray and his ilk think of Sikh men, Hindu Brahmins, and hair metal bands.

    This archaic belief in women’s hair coverings isn’t uncommon, depending on what part of the country you live in. Pennsylvania’s Susquehanna Valley, where I live, has a substantial Mennonite population, so it’s common to see women with hair coverings in public places. It’s still sexist, though.

    • http://gloomcookie613.tumblr.com GloomCookie613

      Yep. I live in Schuylkill County and had our share of bobby-pinned doillies on gal’s heads in school. Even had 2 super Mennonite girls that dropped out after 8th grade. I remember coming home from school as a kid and asking my mom why some girls wore doillies on their heads. It just baffled me.

  • Abram Larson

    From the website, “The Head Covering Movement is a campaign that seeks to spark a return to the practice of head covering during corporate worship.”

    My question then, is wtf is corporate worship. Is this some sort of Republican church?

    • baal

      They are probably using the archaic meaning of corporate = corpus = of the body, or the mass of a body. Think corporal punishment or marine corps.

      • Stev84

        I wouldn’t be sure with the way many American churches are run.

    • Erp

      It just means community (as in a church) worship as opposed to individual or family worship.

  • Gideon

    My current favorite example of biblical cherry-picking is blatant disregard for the commands against gluttony. cf. the Rachel Held Evans blog earlier this week.

    If anyone argues about women head coverings then they should also be concerned with how much they eat.

    • Gadfly156

      Just like if anyone is going to fuss over gay people due to verses in Leviticus then they should avoid eating pork or shellfish (also a “law” in Leviticus) and wearing any clothing made of blended (“mixed”) fibers. After all if all these “laws” were written as part of the same comprehensive collection of edicts they either ALL bear the same weight or ALL bear none. No room for cherry-picking to pander to personal prejudices. If one of them is culturally and historically contextual, no longer needful or applicable for today’s believers, then so are all the rest.

  • Jason Sullivan

    Isn’t Jesus depicted as having long hair

  • Len

    I like the way 1 Corinthians says “For her hair is given to her for a covering.” So women already have their head covered naturally – no need for any other covering than that provide by god through nature. Right?

    • Gadfly156

      Yep — I commented on this too.

  • http://criticallyskeptic-dckitty.blogspot.com/ KevinKat

    Christian Fundies – Slowly becoming exactly like the Muslim Fundies they claim to hate.

    • Spuddie

      The hate had nothing to do with theological differences. It was just jealousy. Muslim fundies have access to dictators, cash and big weapons. The Christian fundies have to deal with messy democratic institutions and various restrictions on the 2nd Amendment.

  • 0xabad1dea

    Back when I was churched, a large family visited where the mother and girls wore hats. Everyone else thought it was pretty weird. Funny how some parts of plenary inspiration “obviously” only spoke to one culture and others are “obviously” universal.

  • Rain

    Looks like a scam…

  • Sven2547

    It’s like they’re trying to blur the distinction between them and Islamist fundies.

  • WallofSleep

    “…gradually eroded by the modern feminist movement that has infiltrated the Church?”

    Bahahahaha! Oh, wait… you were being serious? Ha.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger?feature=mhee GodVlogger (on YouTube)

    Reminds me of the great George Carlin jokes about religion and hats.

    Search it on YouTube.

    Why does god want men to take hats off in church but women to put hats on in church?!? But in temple the same god wants men putting hats on! (Yamicas).

    Is god confused or just messing with us?!?

  • Ferry Girl

    Back when I went to Catholic School in the 60′s, we had to wear a chapel viel on our heads or the nuns charged us a quarter. They usually carried extras for us kids but if they didn’t have one, they’d actually use hairpins to secure a Kleenex Tissue on our heads!!

  • Rain

    The Pastor dude behind this looks like he’s not very great at trumped up web pages. Should work out great for him anyway, lol.

  • indorri

    Authoritarian Calvinist is authoritarian.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Authoritarian Calvinist is redundant, too.

  • Gadfly156

    Interesting. Basically the bible verse they quote to support this idiocy states outright that the woman’s hair is her “glory” and is “given to her FOR A COVERING”. Given to her by what or whom? Well, by nature of course, which in the believer’s mind means given to her by their “god”. So essentially, insisting women cover their heads, and thereby, their hair (their OWN covering “given by god”), since the “covering” represents “authority”, is a means of outwardly symbolizing what they want all women to inwardly assimilate — the foolish sacrifice of our birthright for their “mess of pottage”; the abandoning of our own god-given “authority” (autonomy, self-governance, individual free will, etc.) in favor of adopting one imposed from without.

    You’d have to be really stupid or really brainwashed to fall for this shit.

    • Tainda

      Isn’t hair the covering given by god? Maybe they are saying men should have shaved heads.

      It’s all so confusing!

  • Aegis

    How dare they? My long hair is beautiful. I’ll fight the sons of bitches over it if I have to.

  • BobaFuct

    I love Calvinism….I mean, taken to it’s extreme (antinomianism), it basically says “why fucking bother, it’s all predetermined,” yet they still get all indignant when shit happens that they don’t like. IT’S ALL GOD’S FUCKING WILL, DUMBASS, why worry about it?

  • busterggi

    I hereby copyright the term Christaburkha (T) and will try to get my designer line of them out by autumn.

    • wombat

      It’ll never fly, it sounds too much like Teh Evul Mooslims. Rename them to something more American sounding – Freedom Veils for example – and they’ll fly out the door.

  • Keyra

    This is a Calvanit’s opinion (why take Calvinism seriously? It’s abundantly ridiculous and contradicts Jesus’ teachings)

    • Obazervazi

      All Christians contradict Jesus’ teachings in some way. You’re not special.

    • phantomreader42

      Since you’re so eager to declare anyone who disagrees with you not a real christian, I’m curious how many Keyra-Approved-Real-True-Christians™ you think there are on the planet. And you don’t get to throw everyone else out of the cult, then claim the advantage of numbers when you just reduced those numbers to yourself and the voices in your head.

  • closetatheist

    I just spend an hour on the website and I am disgusted. The reasoning is half cocked and the arguments for head covering are absurd – and people are lapping it up! One of the reasons was because Paul said it was “for the angels.” The article then goes on to state that no one knows what this really means, but, but…er, ANGELS!

    The site was founded by a man and every article I saw was written by him. He brings up the verses that say women should be covered and men should NOT be. However, I don’t see anything on the site bashing males who wear hats or yarmulkes…huh, must be an innocent oversight.

  • Mario Strada

    I love this one:

    “if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him”

    Meanwhile, every image of Jesus makes him look like the lead singer of a woodstock era rock band.

    • Junkie Man to the RESCUE!!!!!!

      Jesus and the Holy Rollers

    • JA

      I know right? I made a comment about Samson like 2 seconds before I saw this.

  • JA

    “”Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him…””

    I wonder if the name Samson means anything to these people.

    • kaydenpat

      Or Jesus. I’ve come across only 1 depiction of a short-haired Jesus.

  • Khalbrae

    So…. they want to be even more like the Muslims now? Mind you, Sharia Law is 100% also Biblical law so this isn’t surprising.

  • raerants

    This particular appeal to nature is utterly nonsensical.

    “I would just like to say that it is my conviction that longer hair and other flamboyant affectations of appearance are nothing more than the male’s emergence from his drab camouflage into the gaudy plumage which is the birthright of his sex. There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage and fine feathers are not proper for the male, when actually that is the way things are in most species.”

  • Rayne Williams

    Corinthians says to cut your hair if you’re a guy, but Leviticus says cutting your hair is a sin against God. So, which is it?

    • phantomreader42

      Whichever is convenient for any given death cultist at any given instant, without any regard whatsoever to what they claimed at any previous instant.

  • earthman48

    What about this: we each mind our own goddam business and hair and leave other people alone.

  • lynnnoe

    Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying
    disgraces his head. But every woman who has her head uncovered while
    praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same
    as the woman whose head is shaved.

    Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

    i take this to mean that a woman’s hair IS her covering – so I guess that means women should never cut their hair, and all men should be bald.

  • Brian Adler

    I’ve only attended worship services at four or five different Christian denominations, but the only time I’ve ever seen head-covering in practice has been in footage of services at Westboro Baptist.

    • Christine

      Aside from the groups that have the women cover their heads at all times (e.g. conservative Mennonites), there are also some Catholics who want to go back to women having to cover their heads at mass. I think some of them even do this when not at a Latin mass.

    • kaydenpat

      Church of God folks I know cover their heads while in church.

  • Robster

    The baby jesus, god and the holy spook must have searched long and hard for that old favorite word of theirs: abomination! It’s a beaut, it has gravitas and it’s even hard to define. Perfect.

  • Randay

    If the man is a Calvinist he must know that Calvin taught predestination, i.e; that God had already decided who would and wouldn’t be saved whatever they did or believed. So a woman who doesn’t cover her head has the same chance of salvation as anyone else.

    • Stev84

      Which is practically zero.

  • SeekerLancer

    Why is Jesus always depicted with long hair?

  • kaydenpat

    If you google “Christian Domestic Discipline”, you’ll find several websites supporting husbands spanking their wives based on an understanding that the Bible mandates wives submitting to their husbands. I guess women covering their heads pales in comparison.

    • Derrik Pates

      So, now Jesus is supportive of spanking fetishes too? How modern.

  • CatholicDad

    Catholic are NOT fundamentalists. And the Church has ALWAYS instructed women to cover their heads: http://www.faithfulanswers.com/should-women-wear-head-coverings/

    • √π

      I consider all believers equally fundamentally stupid.

  • Andrew Van Marm

    Well, that is mentioned in Letters in the New Testament, right? Just goes to show that sort of rubbish is there.

  • √π

    You can’t spell believer without evil.


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