Good Thing I’m Not a Gemini

The Onion‘s horoscopes are always worth reading…

(Thanks to Alan for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Kimpatsu

    I’m a gemini, but I’m in two minds about this church thing…

  • Heidi McClure

    I see what you did there.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

  • Adam Patrick

    I’m a Libra apparently. I get to turn into a 1000 foot giant. Awesome!

  • Tainda

    Me too. I know who I’m going after!

  • Paula M Smolik

    I’m a Gemini! So good thing I don’t believe in horoscopes!

  • ArachneS

    Hey! I’m a Gemini!

    Not that I ever believed in Horoscopes. But as a female human in this culture, its hard to grow up without knowing what you’re horoscope sign is…

  • Mitch

    Capricorn this week: “All things considered, it’s a good thing you aren’t in the prostitution business for the money.”

    Haha, good to know.

  • katiehippie

    “You’re getting to the point where you’d kill for a cigarette, despite never having smoked in your life.”

    That’s actually scary true.

  • Tobias2772

    Gotta love the Oniom !!

  • GodVlogger (on YouTube)

    Even better today was the Onion’s article:
    “Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope’s Tolerant Remarks”,33292/

    VATICAN CITY—Following Pope Francis’ tolerant remarks Sunday about
    homosexuals and the Catholic Church, Vatican officials reportedly went
    into crisis mode, announcing that the Pope’s thoughtful message of
    understanding was clearly taken out of context.

  • Kodie

    I’m kind of curious about this “bizarre misunderstanding”.

  • Graham Martin-Royle

    They haven’t got my star sign, I’m a carrot!

  • Rob U

    I’m a Scorpio and mine says, “Your hatred of the strange and unfamiliar leads you to open hundreds of identical fast-food restaurants.”

    I’m getting my own Denny’s – no more driving for an hour just to have breakfast – thanks Onion!

  • baal

    I am a Gemini *>.<*

    *OTOH, horoscopes do squat nothing so It's not like I'm actually going to revert.

  • edb3803

    I’m a human being, and I think the Onion’s horoscopes are hilarious!

    I always thought horoscopes were as useless as the bible. But now I see that they can make us laugh.

  • allein

    Me three!

  • mcrotk

    Shit, baby daughter is a Gemini. I guess we’ll revert to our original plans for her, as soon as I find some paprika.