Candy Crush Saga is Like Religion Because…

After getting stuck on another level of Candy Crush Saga, I prompted people on Twitter…


… and you all responded brilliantly:

  • … I want nothing to do with it. (@SoRefined)
  • … it sucks you in then tries to get your money. (@duchesskimibuns)
  • … because people are addicted to it and engage out of habit, but it’s ultimately pointless. (@LoloBirdieBird)
  • … it’s an unhealthy obsession with something that doesn’t matter. (@fathasan)
  • … because no matter how high your level is, its never enough. The only true winners are the creators. (@MyLegIsNumb)
  • … the music is catchy. (@leerylamb)
  • … their songs are annoying. (@imsolummy)
  • … people keep inviting me to it even though I’ve made it clear I’m not interested. (@imjustasteph)
  • … people I thought were friends keep bugging me to join. (@dbgill)
  • … they keep playing even when they know how stupid it is. (@amandajhelling)
  • … everyone who plays it won’t stop talking about it. (@jays_ebooks)
  • … it has a hold on otherwise intelligent people. (@anthonyEcottam)

Feel free to add your own in the comments!

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • http://vinimarques.com/ Vini Marques

    …giving it money will move you up.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

    because it makes me sad and sick about the future of the next generation, who do not know how much of the prime of their lives they are wasting, for nothing. and who will regret those lost hours and days, bitterly, when their real lives catch up with them.

    • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

      And, you wrote that while sky diving in to a remote location of South America on a mission to administer a polio vaccination, am I right?

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

        google “doth protest too much,” my friend.

        • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

          We can argue modern semantics if you like but you really have no clue what that phrase means.

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

            that’s cute. “modern.” heh. honey, your innocence is showing.

            i’m gonna be sweet with you, cause i’m a bad ass evil person who is also old at my corporate evil job. i will waste my breath, as your youth is/was likely wasted. like mine was, ad infinitum, etc, for everyone.

            it’s the energy of youth that they suck from the young, our masters. the energy that could be spent creating a secular nation of science educated people who are good at math, biology, history… instead, bright young people with shiny new devices are trained to spend their best hours like lab rats in a cage in a cocaine experiment. maybe you’ve heard of those? the ones where the rats, when they learn the trick, press one button over and over again until they die of starvation. because there are two buttons. one that gives food and water, and one that gives stimulation. the rats “learn” to press the later, forever.

            ask yourself: what is the point of playing these games? pleasure, diversion, a time out from work, etc. that’s fine. now ask yourself: when does pleasure and diversion become a habit, a problem, and something that detracts not only from your current life, but your future?

            i am an anti-TV purist for the same reason. i literally don’t own a tv, nor have cable, nor could i tell you anything about lady gaga, the wire, the vampire shows…. i’m not trying to be superior or tell you what to do with your life. it’s only, well, i’ve learned the hard way.

            former gaming addict, is what i am. it cost me real money, and opportunity. it’s the hardest lesson of youth, learning your own true limits. what scares me about these modern games is that really smart people design them, specifically to keep you addicted. i bet your family and community taught you to be really afraid of crack, AIDS and other polemic keywords that are associated with addiction.

            what i’m trying to tell you: this sort of stuff? no different. i’m sorry if you don’t want to hear that, but think about why that is. playing a game on your phone every waking hour of your day? maybe not the best use of your youth, strength, energy and health. cause you’ll get old, and won’t always have those things. and then, yes, you will be sorry for the waste and look back and wish you’d done something different.

            • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

              I will be 47 in less than a month and seem to have more time to do the things I want. I too have vowed or “doth protested” (yea that’s the meaning of that) to not own a TV but as a current gaming addict of world of warcraft and at the same time I am relearning how to play the harmonica, writing a book of poetry, reading three books at the same time, going to work, working in my garden, enjoying a healthy addiction to vodka, painting a picture, helping my friend build his house, etc etc I am perfectly fine with people wasting their lives away in a video game because that is what they want to do. If you are not then please by all means join the Girls and Boys Club and volunteer your time to changing the life of a willing child. Something I did for a while too.

              • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

                As for my youth: I played soccer, learned Spanish, Latin, French and Japanese, learned how to play the baritone saxophone, the flute, piano and guitar. Wrote a children’s christian book. Became a youth minister. Worked two jobs plus helped my dad build his house. Learned to paint. Watched lots of tv, read hundreds if not thousands of books. Rebuilt three cars from the bare frames up to complete drivable vehicles. Rebuilt two motorcycles. Went on a mission to Puerto Rico. Got way into smoking pot. Dropped out of Seminary an high school. Joined the Army. Got embedded in Beirut and then turned 18. As an adult I’ve work for countless multinational corporations, some I can’t even name due to non-disclosure agreements. Worked for the California Department of Forestry, was a hobo that took the trains from wherever to wherever, spent some time in jail, in a psychiatric hospital and on a lot of time surfing in California.

                Growing up I was poor, as a young adult I was poor and I am still poor, but that doesn’t stop be from doing things, because living life is about doing things and not about sitting around complaining about other people doing things.

                • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

                  if you really understood what DPTM meant, you would’ve abstained from writing those two rather wordy posts. just sayin.

                  gotta go. cause it’s time for me to enjoy some meatspace time, with real, unpredictable human fleshbags. meh, maybe you’re right, and it’s all the same.

                • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

                  I guess we will have to agree to disagree

              • Tainda

                R’amen to that!

          • Drew M.

            Kind of like people who think, “wherefore” means “where” instead of “why.”

            Sadly, this same kind of ignorance is quickly making apostrophes useless.

      • Hat Stealer

        I know that’s how I make most of my posts. Only I’m usually over Dubai in some sort of ‘Mission Impossible’-esque scene.

  • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

    WTF is candy crush?

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

      A game you can play on facebook or your smart phone.

      • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

        sorry take back, it was my answer to Hemant’s question.

        • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

          The question mark confused me :)

  • http://gadlaw.com gadlaw

    Yah, I’ve heard of it and noticed that it’s sucked in a lot of people but the pressure of the crowd doesn’t pull at me which is probably part of the reason I’m an atheist and the reason I’ve not shown any inclination to play this particular game. Also the pull of the crowd having no control over me means I’ve never played Farmville, never seen ET (someone told me I ‘had to see it’ so I’ve never seen it), never found out why anybody would Love Raymond, I did see Seinfeld but only when in the company of a particularly enchanting girlfriend which is totally defensible. :)

    • allein

      I played Farmville for about 5 minutes after some friends bugged me enough. I ended up with my original 6 little plots of dirt with dead crops and a bale of hay. I finally had to block the whole app to get my “neighbors” to stop asking me to give them stuff. Saw ET, but I was 7…hate both Raymond and Seinfeld…and never played Candy Crush.

      • http://gadlaw.com gadlaw

        The good thing about those Facebook invites to Farmville or whatever is that you can turn them off. – And then go yell at your friends saying ‘Isn’t it enough that I look at the pictures of your kids and grandkids! :)

    • Stealth Avenue

      E.T. is a classic. What you *should* do is stop being passive aggressive and watch what you want to watch, or not, because you want to. Not because someone said you should or shouldn’t. :-p

      • http://gadlaw.com gadlaw

        I like you. lol. I do watch and do what I want. The idea of that movie never appealed to me. People saying ‘this is super great!’ is annoying when you’ve already looked at it and said ‘meh, not for me’. Like when House came out I saw the commercial for it and said ‘I think I might like this!’ and I did. It didn’t bother me at all that it became popular as well. But you know, it’s like the Candy Crush or Farmville or Religion thing – folks droning on like Pod People telling you how great something is and that you need to try it, don’t sway with the wind people, make your own decisions based on what you like. :)

  • Tainda

    It turns people into mindless zombies

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    Man, that shit is worse than crack!

    (Says the kitty who has been obsessively playing Skyrim…)

    • http://be.net/mattcoddington matt

      Imagine if crack had community-built add-ons. Oh jeebus, I’d never leave the house.

  • http://be.net/mattcoddington matt

    Because it spams my Facebook with nonsensical bullshit.

  • A3Kr0n

    I’ve heard of CandyLand. You could get stuck in a level by having to fall back to previous squares. Then if you had really bad luck you’d fall back again when you came to the point again. Then the tears started, and the crying, and the game piece tossing. No, I don’t do that anymore.

    • allein

      You must have hated Chutes and Ladders..

      • A3Kr0n

        Those usually seemed to come as a set, didn’t they?

        • allein

          I never had CandyLand…I did have C&L, though.

  • JasmynMoon

    No matter how annoyed you get, you keep coming back for more.

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I blocked it on facebook thankfully but I will admit I am a tad addicted to the Minion Rush. I installed it on my phone to show my daughter and now I play it during breaks at works or while sitting on the throne.

  • Mitch

    It keeps you entertained for a while, but then you move on and do something productive with your life.

  • BrentSTL

    It’ll never be good as You Don’t Know Jack! ;)

    • unclemike

      Now, THAT’s an addiction! :)

  • Gideon

    …it presents a claustrophobic reality with simple rules and endless rewards.

  • EvolutionKills

    …I see it for the life draining money pit that it truly is.

  • http://absurdlypointless.blogspot.com/ TBJ

    …the proletariat masses need a distraction from their otherwise miserable existence.

    • Stev84

      bread and games

    • SpontOrder

      Let them eat churches.

  • Miss_Beara

    … it will receive zero dollars for me.

    I played it before but stopped after it started asking for money to go further.

    • Tainda

      I did that too and boy was I mad!

      “I have to connect with my fb account or give you money? Uhhh, yeah, no” DELETE!

      • Mike

        I have never connected it with my Facebook account or given them money and I am progressing just fine. Money+Facebook provides some shortcuts to acquiring new levels, but you don’t have to integrate with FB or pay money.

        • Tainda

          Nooo! I refuse to get sucked back in lol

  • Baby_Raptor

    I prefer Bejeweled for my colour-swapping puzzle of choice. I’ve been at various levels of Bejeweled addiction for…~9 years now.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      That’s another good game. It’s kinda soothing and psychedelic all at once.

      …I’d make a pothead joke, here, but I am really. fucking. baked. right now and couldn’t even fall over if I wanted too.

    • Tainda

      My mom steals my iPad every time I go over there because she is so addicted to bejeweled. She has it on her laptop but says it’s not the same without a touch screen lol

    • Michaela Samuels

      Mahjongg Dimensions will be the death of me. Bejeweled is not too shabby, either.

  • Rain

    Because nobody knows what the hell it is.

  • dad21jedi

    Because it steals your perfectly good Sunday morning before you know it.

  • Oranje

    Ah, reason number 8 million or so that I’m glad I’m not on Facebook.

  • S Cruise

    … because it rots your brain.

  • Greg G.

    I was addicted to Zork back in the 80s. Even today’s graphics aren’t as good as the ones created inside my head. I am waiting for the Holodeck version so I won’t allow myself to be addicted to another game until then. Now pardon me because I must complete my Sudoku puzzle.

    • Tainda

      Now Sudoku I do have an addiction to. I blare my metal and work Sudoku all night long (all night, all night, oh yeaaaaaaaaaah all night loooooooong)

      *cough*

  • drno07

    Because it is a distraction that keeps us from actually dealing with our problems

  • Pseudonym

    …it’s harmless if done responsibly, and Hemant is irrationally addicted to it.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Pfft, scratch that. Shouldn’t post when still waking up.

  • candy roberts

    i would add: “,, because it has more more fans than many religions i am aware of”

    are you interested in republishing this at our portal http://www.crushingcandies.com ?


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X