You can be skeptical and friendly at the same time.
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(via Christian Nightmares)
Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.
The parishioners are probably strutting around telling everybody, “We have so much at our church; the pastor is a real wag sometimes.”
The pastor is probably thinking, “if that sign doesn’t increase collections by 15% I’m going back to hellfire and brimstone sermons.”
Oh no! They haven’t put god first in their marriage formula!
That’s a 50% higher risk of going to Hell!
That’s creepy. Almost as creepy as the “virgin” Mary and her three wise men. (Joe just liked to watch.)
Funny how you never hear about…oh wait, wrong Joe.
Leave it to God to have an omni- on plural marriage.
Now you know why they call themselves “Mount Pleasant”.
I didn’t even catch that!
Sure beats “Mt. Misery” (which was the church camp I went to as a kid).
Makes me wonder how the whole “trinity” thing would affect the number. Still a threesome, or straight up orgy?
You filthy atheists are too theologically unsophisticated to understand the Holy Trinity, so let me teach you something:
Picture a husband & wife in bed, and then in order to visualize the Trinity, you have to imagine a…well…have you seen the movie, “The Human Centipede”?
Yes… and I wish I hadn’t.
I keep “forgetting” to learn more about that movie.
Keep on “forgetting”! lol Wish I could
I think we need a Costco-sized can of brain bleach for that reference.
Did you ever see the Human Santa-pede cartoon? I’d link but I um, can’t google that here. Not worth the risk.
At that point it’s just a swingers’ party.
I suppose nothing is beyond God’s reach-around.
I can’t breath and I spilled tea all over my keyboard.
Best comment I have read anywhere…ever.
Not so much doggy style as goddy style.
I love the Spider Jerusalem icon!
Eww, it’s always creepy when churches try to be “edgy”. I mean I’m all for threesomes if that’s what the involved people are into, but not so much with imaginary omniscient beings. I’m pretty sure “God” wasn’t invited into my marriage.
That’s a pretty awkward honeymoon…
Yeah, imagine trying to explain God being there when you try to hook up with the other swinging couples at the donkey club in Acapulco. It’d be worse than bringing your kid along.
Not my bag, man.
“…bag of men?”
Freud has betrayed you! THE TRUTH COMES OUT
Clearly I need to lie down.
Heh… I guess people don’t use the term “bag” anymore, then?
That looks about right. Woman stuck between Man and God.
You would technically be getting it on with your father.
It reminds me of a photo I took in front of a local church, nine years ago.
One of the three churches along my drive to work has that same sentiment on their sign now. They really need some new material. It’s just as stupid as it was nine years ago.
Talk about being touched by his noodly appendage!
This is where the phrase, “In the Name of the Father, and in the Son, and into-the-hole-he-goes” comes from (to misappropriate a line from David Allen).
Cue Family Guy…
I need more information…is it an MFM 3-way, or an MMF 3-way?
Or perhaps it’s a progressive MFF 3-way?
Oops! My bad, I forgot that possibility
So, does the Golden Rule apply here (as in the Urban Dictionary sense of the term)?
You mean, “Pee unto others, as you would have them pee unto you”?
No, the one that states that it’s “not gay” as long as it’s two men and a woman.
They did this in response to your posting my excerpt! Cheeky bastards.
Married or not, God is always there, watching Christians. He does it from every angle, even when the lights are out. He’s in their dreams too; wet ones, nightmares, every kind, just watching and taking note.
One good thing about being an atheist, gods that don’t exist, don’t watch.
Creepy. It would be creepy no matter what.
My dad got remarried a few years ago, and the priest kept going on about how marriage was a threesome. I sat through the whole thing trying really hard to keep myself from giggling.
I’m always wondering who the hell makes these signs!! Anybody know?
People without a sense of humor, in most cases. Besides, they write them in such a way that there is absolutely NO way they could possibly be interpreted in any way except the way they intended… *snerk*
Edit: I suppose that could be a comment on biblical literalists, as well.
I did like that one of the local (more progressive) churches had their sign say: “Staying in bed and screaming “oh god” doesn’t count as going to church.”
All this time I thought I was masturbating alone but I was being watched the whole time (ala “The Footprints”). Kinda titillating.
Might as well put on a show if you’re going to be judged anyway.
This just reminds me of a great bumber sticker “Atheists make the best lovers…afterall no one is watching”
I’ll stick with the kind with my wife and her girlfriend and lots of awkward should-I-or-shouldn’t-I questions and giggling. God would just screw that up. And bring the shame. Shame sucks.
When I got married I got a wood cross from my pastor that says marriage takes three. At the time I was a believer and even then I thought it was majorly creepy. “Don’t forget that Jesus watches to have sex” I still have it somewhere….
He also watches you poop. The guy is incorrigible.
I actually had my wife tell me “we need to put God in the center of our marriage” . I said “Hell, it’s hard enough with two of us who can talk to each other.”
See, if I wrote that post, most likely it would have said “…ex wife…”. Good for you.
Eh, she owes me. It was her unthinking, brainwashing, intolerant, superstitious, wrongheaded, vacuous, arrogant, self righteous, biggoted Catholic church that initially fueled my search for doctrinal truth, and, ultimately, my complete deconversion.
Last February she wanted to have our house blessed. That was an interesting conversation..
I forwarded this picture to my friend, who forwarded it to her friend who is a pastor (of a rather liberal sort). His response:
“To quote Princess Bride: ‘I don’t think that means what they think it means’….I should try using that in my sermon and see who else thinks it’s really wrong”
I would go to church to hear that sermon.
Her pastor friend misquoted Princess Bride. He will surely burn in the lake of fire. >.<
lol, I noticed that, too.
It’s the Fire Swamp, no Lake in that glorious movie.
I drove past that sign a few days ago! My jaw dropped when I saw it
And wait, no serial comma AND an ampersand? *shudder*
Funny thing is, I hate serial commas lol
Not sure what the big deal is. I don’t agree with the shock-jock tactics but aren’t they just saying that marriage is a bond between a husband, wife and God even in the marital act. It seems that atheists seem to think that sex is dirty or something and therefor think that if you believe in God then it should be hidden from God? Please help me understand why this is an issue?
The issue is that theists seem to have a higher incidence of humor blindness* than the general population, and don’t get why atheists might chuckle at a funny sign and appreciate a pastor who is NOT humor-blind.
*Probably related to authoritarianism.
It’s the Christians who generally think threesomes are dirty. That’s why it’s so bizarrely humorous for this church to put up that sign. They’d rail against human beings having a threesome, but they see nothing wrong or creepy about intimating that their deity (who is supposed to be the couple’s father, mind you) is watching and/or participating in their sex life.
So is god bi or just bi-curious?
He must be bi. Since he’s omniscient, he can’t be curious about anything. He _knows_.
Hey, maybe Joseph Smith was onto something after all !
If God is a trinity, wouldn’t that mean five people at the orgy?
11. Thou shall not cross swords with the Lord thy God.
Unless you believe in the trinity, when it then becomes this weird 5-way.
What about the holy spook? That would make it a 3.5 some.
you have to feel bad for christian husbands. i’m mean, come on. we’re talking about God the Father and Big Sky Daddy and omni on your mommy hell yeah He’s got it going on. so when He’s done with your wife, how do you compare? esp after He’s had His way with your business and all you could do was bow down and take it.
There aren’t any pissed of fundies here? Damn, I wanted to hear what they said about this.
Is there an accompanying picture/cartoon/drawing depicting the threesome? E.g double penetration or an eiffel tower.. that would be really funny
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