The Christian Version of Kmart’s ‘Ship My Pants’ Commercial

Remember Kmart’s not-bad-for-Kmart “Ship My Pants” commercial? It was a play on words that angered the Christian group Few Hundred Moms.

You knew there was a church just waiting to make their own Christian version of it.

So when Church by the Glades in Coral Springs, FL wanted volunteers to switch from attending the more popular weekend services to the services with fewer people, they knew it was time

*Cue all the cringes*

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • GloomCookie613


  • KMR

    This was more clever than the “50 Shades of Grace” one so many churches did.

    • karcreat

      Is that really saying much of anything, though…?

  • observer

    We must try to protect small children from a joke they most likely won’t get.

    Seriously, do these people believe that – despite their their effort to shield their kids from the “s-word” – merely playing with words without actually saying the word, will cause the kids to magically know what the word is?

    • McFidget

      A different perspective: Shit, it is another word that simply means poop. Your children’s heads will now implode from learning something inconsequential that they almost certainly have already learned in the playground.

  • Christian Kemp

    I wonder how they rationalize the play on words. Especially, as so many Christian groups are against the use of bad language.

  • Bear Millotts

    I wonder if the few hundred moms are going to protest that church?

    That bear is nakkid, GloomCookies613. Nakkid!

    • A3Kr0n

      It’s tastefully posed though (the bear).

    • GloomCookie613

      Does a bear ship in the woods? ;)

  • Hat Stealer

    Never mind the fact that the word “shift” does not actually sound like the word “shit,” thus ruining the joke…

    I don’t actually have another point to make. I just wanted to say that.

    • wmdkitty

      Well… the way some people say it, it does kinda sound like they’re saying “shit”.

      • Hat Stealer

        I felt many of them specifically went out of their way so that it didn’t sound like they were saying “shit.” Cause, y’know, that would offend their delicate, awkward church sensibilities.

        It’s like when you want to make a joke, but you know you probably shouldn’t, and so you just end up half-assing it and making everything worse. That pretty much embodies the majority of church humor I’ve seen.

      • Feminerd

        Heh, our AP Econ shirts (yes, we made shirts, yes we were a little nerdy in high school, shh) said Shift Happens. One of the kids had his shirt folded a bit so he got sent to the principal’s office for having a swear word on his clothing, which was against dress code.

        He had to explain it, and show that it really did say S-H-I-F-T, before they let him go back to class.

        • The Other Weirdo

          I bet he was the most popular kid in class that day.

          • Feminerd

            Oh yes.

    • Kodie

      I think it was weird that they forced the joke in the first place. “Shift my seat” sounds like “shift in my seat”. I really don’t get out of this “attend a differently scheduled service”. To me it just sounds like people who can’t wait to go to church only to wish they hadn’t, but they can’t leave for another 80 minutes. They wanted that pun so bad, they ruined an ad to come to church!

  • Andrew L

    disproving the saying that, ‘imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’.

  • Soren

    Okay, sorry, but sharing this makes us look like the stereotypical, “petty” atheists. Come on now.

    • YankeeCynic

      Oh no. We wouldn’t want people to think we would do something as awful as point out something stupid.

      Horror of horrors. Bust out the fainting couch and hand out the pearls to clutch!

    • m6wg4bxw

      Is it petty to notice and remark on a church copying a retail store’s advertising gimmick to get people’s interest? I don’t find it petty that a church chose to entice an audience with a shit joke rather than dogma and unquestionable authority.

      • Paul Reed

        I think “copying” is a bit strong. “Attempting to copy” is more like it…

        • m6wg4bxw

          Yes, you’re correct. To say that Church by the Glades copied K-Mart’s ad is incorrect, though I suspect you know what I meant. More accurately, they were inspired by K-Mart’s ad and attempted to make a similar, yet unique, version of their own. It might be worth noting that, technically, they also didn’t attempt to copy K-Mart’s ad.

          If you’re going to insist upon precise language from others — a worthy pursuit in some contexts — you might try harder to offer suggestions which don’t suffer from the same deficiency as that which you criticized. I wish you an explicit day.

          • Paul Reed

            Dude, you’re over-analysing it.
            I’m simply saying that they tried to emulate K-mart’s ad, but failed miserably. They attempted, but didn’t achieve.
            It was intended to be kind of a joke…

            • m6wg4bxw

              I’m sorry I missed the joke, and misinterpreted your words. Please pardon my over-reaction.

    • duke_of_omnium

      The point is, atheists don’t need to make christians look stupid. Christians do that all on their own. We just point it out.

  • Tor


  • m6wg4bxw

    They missed an excellent opportunity to make a pew joke.

    Also, “Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.”

    • Kevin_Of_Bangor


      • baal

        Hrm, I’m totally seeing SpaceGhost in this lolcat.

  • anniewhoo

    Why are they in a clothing store?? The KMart commercial made good sense, and was funny as all get out. This one? Not so much. They totally missed it. But I must admit, these were some of the best actors I’ve ever seen in a Christian “commercial.”

  • DougI

    Continuing the Christian tradition of being original….

  • Guest

    • Guest

      Crap. Should have been this one.

  • wmdkitty

  • JET

    I found the K-Mart commercial funny because it was well-done and unexpected. The church one was just pathetic.
    Meanwhile, One Dozen Moms should stop trying to shield their kids from words they are going to hear anyway, and instead educate them on the significance of how words are used. There’s really no difference between one of their little darlings calling someone a shithead or a poo-poo head on the playground. The intent is the same.

  • YankeeCynic


  • katiehippie

    Oh moms, nice try. “Normally we don’t provide a link since One Million Moms does not want to contribute to this filth being spread around even more”
    Maybe they don’t provide links but they describe things in oh so much detail. I was inspired to create my own sandwich from their description of a Kate Upton Carl’s Jr commercial. Sadly, I’m banned from their facebook page for suggesting they spent too much time shopping after they got upset with JCPenney and threatened to cut up their platinum cards.

  • duke_of_omnium

    Why is it that Xians insist on cheapening the things they insist that they hold dearly, by linking it to popular culture?

  • Robster

    Aw gee, they are compromised with religion but it was sort of fun in a “wink wink” kind of way. Those besotted with religion have not much to laugh about and nothing to actually think of, so why the hell not at least, try to look cool..ish in a slightly embarrassed way.

  • SeekerLancer

    I almost feel embarrassed for them.

  • Bitter Lizard

    Religion has a way of shifting one’s mind.

  • karcreat

    Wow, a total rip off of the KMart commercial, just watered down…

    Exactly like how Christianity is a watered down rip off of several older religions, when it was first INVENTED…

    Nothing new to see here, folks…move along…

  • Muggsy

    Wow! That was so bad I almost shit my pants.

  • Alexis

    So they want people to go to Saturday night services? I remember when the catholic church started inviting people to go to Saturday mass instead of Sunday, and our fundy preacher was all over how sinful they were because Sunday is the one true sabbath.

  • GeorgeLocke

    i thought it was charming.