Here’s the Most Anti-Woman, Anti-Gay Sermon You’ve Heard in a Long Time

Pastor Steven Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona wants to make sure we’re ashamed of the right things:

On his list?

Nakedness (9:55 mark). But really, only when it involves women:

I was just at a restaurant a couple days ago and there’s just… this woman just sitting at the counter and it’s just — there it is! Because the pants and the skirts are just so low that it’s just — there’s just a cleavage — it’s the new cleavage! And you know what? God’s people need to stay away from that garbage.

Don’t you ever walk into this church showing your, your crack. I mean, it’s unbelievable today that I would even have to say that from the pulpit in a church!

But, look, I’m telling you, I probably went the first twenty years of my life without seeing that, except when someone was working on something at the house! You know some big, fat, smelly plumber guy… whatever is bent over working on something under the sink. You know, okay, you expect that, right? But I’m telling you, I probably went the first twenty years of my life without seeing it; I think I probably see it now on a weekly basis. Who knows what I’m talking about? I mean, you’re just CONSTANTLY seeing it!

And it’s a shameful thing, but they’re not even ashamed. I mean, just think about it: an adult woman, sitting down at a restaurant, just [herp-derp] eating, her buttocks uncovered. Just unashamed. Just like an animal. Just, whatever. I mean, it’s bizarre, my friends.

[Later, at 14:30] What you oughta be embarrassed about is dressin’ like a floozy. That’s what you oughta be embarrassed about. You oughta be embarrassed about dressin’ like a hoochie mama. And a hooker… And going around in clothing that literally was only worn by prostitutes in times past. I mean, look, a prostitute wears a miniskirt. A prostitute dresses up and puts on the “For Sale” sign! ‘Cause she’s for sale. And you ought not be ashamed to dress like a godly Christian lady and to wear modest apparel, to wear a skirt that covers your nakedness, that’s the knee or below, and covers up your thighs, and covers up your shame, and that you’re not one that is promiscuous!

Because only hookers wear clothing that reveals their thighs. (Also, some men wearing shorts, but why bother with details…)

In Anderson’s mind, it’s a woman’s fault for wearing anything that he can’t deal with in a mature fashion. But a plumber’s asscrack? Whatever.

Next up on the shame list?

Women preachers (15:42). Anderson cites 1 Corinthians 14:35-36:

If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

After talking about Christians who are embarrassed by that particular verse, he actually calls some of the women out by name:

[Those people are] ashamed of the verse. They ought to be ashamed of Joyce Meyer… and if I knew any other female preachers, I’d preach against that. That’s the only one that I know of. Does anybody know of another one?…

[Audience: Paula White]

Paula White? I thought that was a cooking show. Is that a preacher?… Well, Paula White needs to START a cooking show! Right?! She needs to get out of the pulpit and get in the kitchen.

[Later, at 28:50] I mean, being a woman preacher is embarrassing, but listening to a woman preacher when you’re a hair-legged man is really embarrassing.

[Later, at 30:50] I was embarrassed one time, I preached at a church that… spoke a foreign language that I didn’t speak. And I was just embarrassed that the woman that was translating for my preaching was a woman.

Incidentally, when other fundamentalist Christians try to defend this verse without appearing misogynistic, they argue that men have dominance in the home, but women are free to lead elsewhere. Anderson, though, finds even that too heretical.

In his world, female preachers are scum of the earth. They preach the same Gospel he accepts and wants people to read and believe, but they’re the wicked for doing it while having ovaries.

I can’t forget to include the part we all knew was coming: Being gay (21:23)

You say, what’s “sodomy” mean? Queer–queerness. Queerdom, you know, is what I call it. Being a homo. You know, it’s been around in a lot of different places, but usually, it was hidden because it was such a shameful thing, people would not admit it. in the previous generation, it was still there, in the closet, I mean, it existed, but people were ashamed of it…

You know, when a society begins to just openly accept sodomy, that’s when they’re like Sodom, that’s when you know it’s at the very final stage on the downward spiral of the final stages of depravity, when you’ve got them just proudly, proudly just exposing the sin of sodomy… that’s where America is at today.

You know who oughta be ashamed of themselves? Grey-haired men who accept all this sodomy and filth, who actually lived in this country when it was a clean and normal, somewhat-decent place. And now they just accept all this garbage.

[Later, at 32:45] I would be a little embarrassed if you were a little fruitcake, little sissy-britches in the way that you dress. That would be embarrassing. And you oughta be embarrassed yourself.

Yes, forget the gay-friendlier time we live in today. We’d be much better off living in the past, when gays were in the closet and racism was thriving. You know, the good ol’ days.

Anderson saves some of his wrath — excuse me, God’s wrath — for the men.

Or rather, just the men who have long hair (27:24), as noted in 1 Corinthians 11:14:

Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him

Of course, Anderson finds a way to bring it back to woman-bashing:

That tells me that a man having long hair is a shame! I’m not gonna be ashamed of a preacher who preaches against men having long hair. I’m gonna be ashamed of the long hair on a man itself! That’s the shameful thing. And, by the way, also, it’s a shame for a woman to have short hair… it’s a shame both ways, when men look like women, when women look like men, when they have their hair backwards, their clothing is backwards. That is what we oughta be ashamed of.

He’s not done yet. Even Sarah Palin is berated for running for office as a woman, but the focus of Anderson’s ire is on the men who supported her (29:35):

And I’m just thinking to myself, “You’re a man! Why is your idol a woman? Like, why are you following a woman? Why are you lifting up a woman on a pedestal — this is your hero, this is your idol?”… Why don’t you get a man to follow? Why are you following a woman? Why don’t you follow a man?

And you say, “Oh, you’re against women.” I’m not down on women. Women should have female role models that they follow, but they should be female role models that are godly, and that are righteous… where their husband is not living in their shadow, but vice-versa.

In summary, here’s his entire sermon in a sentence: If you’re not like Pastor Anderson, Pastor Anderson is ashamed of you.

Try a little harder next time, everyone else.

By the way, I continue to post Anderson’s videos, not because all Christians think like him — I know they don’t — but because he exemplifies the awful conclusions you can reach when following the same Bible that everyone else reads. If a Christian wants to criticize him, let them explain why his interpretations of select passages are misguided.

And your Best Comment award goes to MisterTwo:

I don’t understand why an asshole would be offended by a butt crack.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Roy Gamsgrø

    “Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him”

    I think I have yet to see an image of Jesus with short hair…

  • Stev84

    Then why is Jesus always portrayed with long hair?

  • Frank Mitchell

    If God does it, it’s not a sin. (See also genocide.)

  • M.S.

    Ughh I almost wish you wouldn’t even write about this guy, its too easy! He is ridiculous and so pathetic.

  • icecreamassassin

    I am embarrassed and ashamed that I share a common ancestor with this pathetic, pitiful, small-minded individual.

  • icecreamassassin

    I’m more concerned with this whole ‘very nature of things’ schtick. The ‘very nature of things’ is that hair *grows* and *naturally* becomes long. It requires intervention against ‘the very nature of things’ to make it short.

  • MisterTwo

    Oh, I’ve heard plenty of sermons explaining that this portrayal of Jesus was absolutely wrong!

  • Beth

    I was wonder what I would be watching on the treadmill tonight. Now I know.

  • cryofly

    Son of a gun. I wonder why he will not throw a rock at those he hates, just to prove that he is a an ass of biblical proportions.

  • ShinyThing

    Suddenly I feel the need to wear a cleavage bearing top, a short shirt and go to a gay pride parade.

    I’ve already got short hair and I’m already a woman.

    Also memo to Pastor Anderson. Some women CAN’T grow long hair. Do you want to know why I can’t grow my hair long?

    Because I had to have chemotherapy and all my hair fell out.

    I’m happy to be alive, the length of my hair doesn’t really bother me.

  • Gods Starship

    Be ashamed. His income depends on it.

  • Cassiopeia

    The last time somebody told me to get back into the kitchen I smiled and reminded them that the kitchen is where I keep my chefs knives.

    The carefully maintained chefs knives. The ones I personally sharpen regularly and use pretty much every day.

    Apparently, when you say that and you smile ‘like a crazy person’ the casual misogynists run away.

  • ben

    This guy’s a great stand-up comic. Oh wait…
    In all seriousness, he is that bad he’s like a living caricature of bigotry

  • kanehau

    > ass of biblical proportions

    Ass crack of biblical proportions


  • MisterTwo

    I don’t understand why an asshole would be offended by a butt crack.

  • Michaela Samuels

    Holy shit.

    I think this is the third radical, horrible sermon I’ve seen from him. I get more enraged every damn time.


  • Alice

    It would be fun. I can just see him turning red, throwing a tantrum, and spontaneously combusting.

  • baal

    At 4 minutes in the pastor says that some folks are ashamed of him. Gee, I wonder why.

    Also, I’m not entirely bothered by ‘perversion’, ‘nakedness’ and adultery is ok with me so long as no one is cheating.

    And at 16 minutes in, I can’t take any more.

  • Matthew Baker

    Is his church in a strip mall or a rec center?

  • Eva

    You have to admit, though… he’s actually following what that composition of fairy tales dictates. One of my biggest points of contention is those folks that pick and choose which parts of the bible they think are “right” and which they conveniently ignore or rationalize. This idjut at least follows the whole thing… not that that’s better, mind you, but it’s more honest than the buffet folks.
    I think I’d like to high-five him… in the face.

  • eric

    why are you following a woman [Palin]? Why are you lifting up a woman on a pedestal — this is your hero, this is your idol?”… Why don’t you get a man to follow?

    They were following a man, you dumbass.
    Look, I know McCain lost, but it’s a bit harsh to have forgotten his existence after a mere five years.

  • eric

    Wrong end. He’s promoting manscaping and is against brazilian waxes. ;)

  • Nomad

    So here’s the deal. I’m not a Christian, and I’m not looking to defend the bible because it does contain a lot of horrible things. But I’m getting fed up with Christians citing the story of Sodom and Gomorrah as evidence that god hates gays. That story is about an entire city trying to gang rape an angel, not homosexuality. Yes, the moral of the story is that god hates angel gang rape. Oh yeah, and also that you should take care of the vulnerable and the poor and all that instead of making sacrificial offerings.

    It’s not so much that it’s being misinterpreted, but it’s just not being read. Pieces of work like this guy see that the city was named Sodom and just assumed that it was non stop buttsex in there and that that must be why god got pissed off. But every time they cite Sodom and Gomorrah they’re announcing that they’re just using the bible as an excuse and aren’t even reading it, much less interpreting it.

  • pszymeczek

    This guy doesn’t like women wearing shorts? He lives in metro Phoenix, ffs! I’m not wearing long pants when it’s over 100 degrees!

  • pszymeczek

    Strip mall.

  • viaten

    He sure has been making an easy target of himself lately. I think he’s going after Bryan Fischer’s job.

  • Robin

    Hey, I never thought of that, thanks, I bet I could really work off all the extra lbs by getting totally pissed and frustrated and walking faster and faster and faster, BUT I would probably fall on the edge of my skirt or my hair would wind around my feet and trip me so I better wear shorts and chop off the locks, the walk away!

  • Robin

    Gawd, I live right down the road from this toad, tell me what to do and I will do it (as long as it is legal, wouldn’t want someone being ashamed of me in jail) Any sugestions?

  • islandbrewer

    I think he’s going after Fred Phelps’ job, without the America hating.

  • Matthew Baker

    Well dry cleaner fumes might explain a few things.

  • Robin

    I understand your frustration but the biggest frustration is that none of them really READ any of the bible (or they wouldn’t believe it) but that they only hear, on sunday some roach toad spouting poison and then nod their head and follow the line of sheep!

  • Tracy Walker

    Did you all know his wife has a blog?

  • Rob Bos

    Maybe make them a nice pie? Best to be on good terms with your neighbours.

  • Harley Quinn

    If I were you, I’d just purposefully give myself a case of food poisoning and puke all over his lawn. Idiots like him make me want to vomit…might as well put it in the proper receptacle.

  • RickyWW

    He’s still not following the whole thing; he’d be on death row if he did. His basket of picked cherries is just a little more full than others.

  • MumbleMumble

    I think this is more important for Christians to see and take note of. Isn’t this what the Bible actually says? If it makes you uncomfortable to hear these words, then maybe you need a different religious text.

  • viaten

    Hating America aside, I don’t know which has said the most stupidest things. There are just too many.

  • Houndentenor

    It’s none of his business if you want to have hair down to the floor or shave your head. Don’t let Douchie McJesuspants bring you down.

  • viaten

    Not a bad idea. It might not be good idea to be the subject of one of his sermons as a negative example, that persecutor down the street.

  • Houndentenor

    For some intentionally funny Fundamentalist parody, there’s a new Betty Bowers video. For those unfamiliar, Betty Bowers is “America’s Best Christian”. In this video we see her video conference with Vladimir Putin.

    I love Deven Green an in a better world she’d have her own TV show that I would DVR every night.

  • The Other Weirdo

    I probably went the first twenty years of my life without seeing that,
    except when someone was working on something at the house!

    Cleavage, the cause of and the solution to most of world’s problems. I think if had seen a bit of cleavage–not of his mother’s–other than being damaged by fat, smelly plumber–class act there, by the way–he wouldn’t have been quite this damaged and, perhaps, just perhaps, he wouldn’t be this terrified of a little flesh. Or, depending on preference, big flesh.

    Something else I just noticed:

    dressin’ like a hoochie mama

    What sort of adult, mature man talks like this?

    Edit! Wow, I need to fire my proofreader. This was awful.

  • The Other Weirdo

    That’s like the best thing I’ve heard… all day.

  • The Other Weirdo

    Do you mean they had old Portuguese and Italian men setting up shops all over town in those days?

  • Grindstone50k

    Don’t forget that the “good guy”, the only one that god saw fit to spare, offered up his daughters for rape. Some prime role models there.

  • koseighty

    Don’t she know the women folk are s’pose to “remain silent.”

    Someone hasn’t been keeping their woman in line. Someone’s goin’ to HELL.

  • sideshow billybob

    He’s not offended, just oppressed. The butt crack just gets in the way of an asshole. The asshole wants to be out for everyone to have access to!

  • duke_of_omnium

    Well, I do, but I’m admittedly somewhat downscale.

  • Bitter Lizard

    Dress up in stereotypically homosexual attire and bake him a fabulous pie.

  • A3Kr0n

    That blog is so totally her! I mean, she even named her webpages rooms in a house (or should I say home). What I found very interesting though was her coverage of the children in Germany who were taken from their parents by the police for being home schooled, which apparently is banned in Germany.

  • Nomad

    I was thinking of mentioning this. Yes, the story seems to suggest that if the crowd had only gang raped his daughter instead then all would have been okay.

    I mean okay, that wouldn’t have been the end of it, she’d probably then have to marry one of her rapists or else be stoned to death.

    But yeah, there’s a reason I wanted to point out that the bible contains horrible things. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah has some good elements, and some terrible ones.

    It’s just instructive to watch Christians ignore any of the real points of the story and pretend its about something entirely different.

  • closetatheist

    Are all of him sermons about exactly the same thing? Every time a new video is posted I feel like he’s said all this bullshit before: gay bashing, women oppressing, proclaiming his masculinity and showing off his chest hair….It’s like he’s beaten a horse to death but he’s so filled with hate at the thought that the horse was once alive that he can’t help but run over it with his car every Sunday morning. Jesus Christ dude, move on.

    And is anyone every going to point out to this Douche Supreme that Jeebus wore what we would call a dress and prolly had long-ish hair?

  • Bitter Lizard

    I mean, just think about it: an adult woman, sitting down at a restaurant, just [herp-derp] eating, her buttocks uncovered. Just unashamed. Just like an animal.

    Well, the thing about thi–OH MY GOD IT’S JESUS AGAIN. Tell that dog to put on some shorts before he makes us all ashamed. I miss CommentMaker.

  • Astreja

    *shrug* Someone who solicits the services of “hoochie mamas”?

    Nah… More likely someone who just fantasizes about it.

  • Latraviata

    And make sure it is organic, they only have organic food. Kilos of carbs and fat, but organic!

  • The Other Weirdo

    And is anyone every going to point out to this Douche Supreme that
    Jeebus wore what we would call a dress and prolly had long-ish hair?

    No, dude, that’s oppressive to him.

  • Alan Bloor

    Perhaps I should do the same…

    I’m a guy =P

  • Cattleya1

    I keep wanting to ask him if he has stopped beating his wife yet? How insecure with your own masculinity do you have to be, to spend all your free time looking for bible verses telling you ‘belong on top’? And, since I presume he is not preaching to an empty room, what kind of clods (and their Stepford Wives) go to listen to what he is saying?

  • imjustasteph

    The thing that gets me about his videos/sermons is that people are surprised by them. This sounds a lot like sermons I grew up listening to. This sounds…..for lack of a better word, *normal* to me.

    Don’t get me wrong, I heard an awful lot about God’s great love and forgiveness and compassion and all that too, but honestly, I heard a lot of stuff just like this one, and hey, it’s the kind that gets the audience excited and worked up and shouting agreement.

  • Lori F

    What about Samson? Didn’t he lose his strength when his hair was cut?
    And this is the best drinking game video Ever! Take a drink every time he quotes the bible or says ‘it’s in the bible’, take a shot! Last one standing is the winner!

  • closetatheist

    …and I’d bet he’d appreciate it if we respected his ignorance.

  • Amor DeCosmos

    Seriously, can you go to a service and report back to us? Mostly I am curious about the people who pay this guy to say horrible things every week. What kind of songs do they sing? Do they speak in tongues? What is their demographic? Who gets spiritually inspired at a strip mall? I have watched a few of these hateful sermons now and I really am curious about the congregation.

  • busterggi

    Or that the same “good guy” knocked up both those daughters after the fireworks.

  • Amor DeCosmos

    To be fair, the daughters got him drunk and raped him… two nights in a row… because he was sad that he didn’t have any sons…

  • busterggi

    Hmmmm…so female flesh disgusts him? guess he’d be more comfortable surrounded by naked men for some reason.

  • Anna

    Me, too. Maybe Robin could go undercover and do a guest post about her experience.

  • Eliot Parulidae

    I love that US fundies think that the anti-homeschooling laws in Germany are the legal residue of the Nazi era, when in fact it’s the exact opposite: Germany knows that if they made homeschooling legal, neo-Nazis would be first in line. It’s just like their hate speech laws and their baby name laws – safeguards for freedom disguised as paternalism.

  • YankeeCynic

    Yes, pastor, I’m not like you. And I wear that fact as a badge of honor.

  • Pepe

    I feel terrible for those kids! Especially the girls :/

  • Birdie1986

    Pastor Anderson’s very existence is proof of the non-existence of god. No self-respecting god would allow such a douche to speak in its name.

  • Jeff Reynolds

    I’d really love to visit his church some Sunday wearing nothing but a g string and a rainbow hair net to hold my long flowing hair.

  • Layla13

    I love the smell of misogyny in the morning….

  • Jeff Reynolds

    Not to mention John the Baptist or Sampson from the Old Testament

  • Jeff Reynolds

    I totally agree. It would be fascinating!

  • Jeff Reynolds

    Maybe a glitter bomb?

  • tomtallis

    He’s a “Primative Baptist” which means that he has no theological or religious training in any sort of an organized way. If you want to be a “Primitive Baptist” shyster (there’s no other word for it) you find an older shyster and you pay him to train you for a couple of years. Once he’s drained you of all your money, then he will ordain you and send you out to fleece your own flock and train new shysters.

    It’s a racket that mainly appeals to grifters and those who feel the need to be stripped of their human dignity AND their money.

  • Pseudonym

    How about: don’t give him oxygen?

    Given that you live close to him, you might be a special case. For the rest of us, we wouldn’t have heard of him if it wasn’t for FA.

  • Pseudonym

    You have to admit, though… he’s actually following what that composition of fairy tales dictates.

    No, I don’t have to admit anything of the sort. He does not “follow the whole thing”. He is doing just as much picking and choosing as anyone.

    If anything, he’s doing it in an even worse, because he won’t even admit that contradictory passages exist. At least the moderates try to explain the inconvenient bits away.

    Liberals like Spong are the most honest of the lot. They freely admit that the Bible was written by a lot of different humans who had different and contradictory opinions, and hence were sometimes wrong about stuff.

    However, this is actually beside the point, because the premise that Christians should follow “what that [...] dictates” is historically inaccurate.

    The Bible is not like the Qu’ran, which was supposedly divinely dictated. The majority Christian position (and in particular, the official Roman Catholic position) is that the Bible is a product of the Church. At least for the New Testament, this is arguably historically accurate.

    The historic protestant emphasis on the Bible as the ultimate foundation for Christianity is a relatively novel position, theologically speaking, and most protestants have worked it out of their system for over 100 years. It’s only US-style evangelicals and a number of small fundy groups who are holding out. This is a fundamentalist premise, which any non-fundamentalist should be wary of accepting uncritically.

    This guy is a convenient target, and I don’t want to deny anyone their genuine rage at a complete loon. But don’t for a moment think that this guy is in any way more authentic than anyone else.

  • IDP

    Well, when you aren’t allowed to swear EVER, your language tends to devolve into this strange sort of playground talk. See also: “sissy britches.”

  • Godless Monster

    It just occurred to me that if you put a turban and wire rim glasses on him, he’d look a lot like the Imam at The Islamic Center of America.
    No, I don’t hang out there, but I’ve had a lot of relatives die lately, so I’ve seen a lot of this guy.

  • Oinkaphone

    I haven’t read all the comments here, but, has anyone started a betting pool on how long it’ll be until this guy is busted for underage porn? I give it less than 12 months.

  • Svelaz

    Wow, he is ashamed of guys with long hair…….mmmmm I don’t think Jesus would be ashamed, but hey Anderson is clearly saying Jesus should be ashamed for having long hair……and a set of killer abs to boot.

  • wmdkitty

    Again, with this guy? With the misogyny and the male-supremacy and the smug sanctimony and the raising of every gorram Red Flag in the world?


  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “You know, it’s been around in a lot of different places, but usually, it was hidden because it was such a shameful thing, people would not admit it. in the previous generation, it was still there, in the closet, I mean, it existed, but people were ashamed of it…”

    Clearly this man is no history scholar.

  • wmdkitty

    Also, on the topic of hair:

    I’m aware some stare at my hair.
    In fact, to be fair,
    Some really despair of my hair.
    But I don’t care,
    Cause they’re not aware,
    Nor are they devonaire.
    In fact, they’re just square.

    They see hair down to there,
    Say, “Beware” and go off on a tear!
    I say, “No fair!”
    A head that’s bare is really nowhere.
    So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
    Show it you care.
    Wear it to there.
    Or to there.
    Or to there, if you dare!

    My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
    Did I care?
    Au contraire!
    Spare hair is fair!
    In fact, hair can be rare.
    Fred Astair got no hair,
    Nor does a chair,
    Nor nor a chocolate eclair,
    And where is the hair on a pear?
    Nowhere, mon frere!

    So now that I’ve shared this affair of the hair,
    I’m going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?

    (Beard Poem)

    Here’s my beard.
    Ain’t it wierd?
    Don’t be sceered,
    Just a beard

  • Kimpatsu

    Didn’t Samson have long hair?

  • MG

    Especially since McCain is THEIR senator…

  • Artor

    Isn’t Jeebus always shown with long hair too? Why, yes he is.

  • Anna

    Actually, I first heard of him several years ago over on Free Jinger. He and his wife have generated a lot of discussion there.

  • Emilio

    I wouldn’t be too surprised if he was against modern medicine and advocated faith “healing”, so he’d probably just berate you for that.

    Sorry for the blunt comment, especially regarding what must’ve been a trying time for you.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I wonder how he would react to my ass in a thong. Forgot to add, I have a really nice ass so he might just stare at it.

  • David Escribe

    Wow he really will never know what being human is about.

  • Hat Stealer

    Yes, hopefully if you confront him with enough of his fears/secret-closeted-desires at once, he’ll suffer some sort of aneurysm.

    (This comment was made in jest. I do not support the intentional aneurysm-giving of pastors, even dickish ones.)

  • Hat Stealer

    He’s clearly shaving his beard, wearing mixed fabrics, and, if that
    wallpaper is anything to go by, eating plenty of seafood. That’s three
    just off the top of my head. And I can think of more.

    Fun fact: no one has gone to heaven ever. And there’s no such thing as a
    good Christian (that is, a Christian that perfectly follows every
    dictate found in the Bible down to a letter. It’s impossible,
    given the myriad of contradictions that the Bible contains.)

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    Yeah, but since he wouldn’t man up and cut it, bad stuff happened to him.

    That was the moral of that story, right?

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    We’ll schedule your intervention immediately after Hemant’s.

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    “He told me to make him a sandwich, so I chopped him up for cold cuts.”

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    I’ve always been confused as to why humans both grow long hair and don’t shed (significantly). It feels like an animal would experience significant selection pressures to NOT do that, given what infections could arise from 12+ years of nonstop, unhygienic growth and tangling.

  • Nomad

    The thing is, I read that and saw your avatar and some wires got crossed in my head, and now I’m picturing Peter Griffin wearing a rainbow colored g string and possessing long flowing hair walking into the church.

  • Remy Thrashfan Verhoeve

    Dafuq you’re doing hefe short-haired boy! Jesus will be outraged when he sees you frolicking with ungodly people!

  • Roger Peritone
  • wmdkitty

    Excuse me, but have you seen my brush? I’m not even sure how I still have hair…

  • wmdkitty

    I can’t decide if that’s hilarious or horrifying.

    It’s…. hilarifying?

  • freethinker57

    why doesn’t some group pull a ‘westboro’ on him and start showing up at all his sermons, filling the benches with ringers. They could break out in fervetn prtests when he starts laying on the crazy. Kind of a reverse -amen thing. People wiling to call him out when he says this stuff. Kind of like a flash mob kind of thing. Wouldn’t that be something to see on YouTube?

  • Obazervazi

    The Bible even SAYS it’s impossible. That’s the whole point of the religion and the reason it says we need Jesus, and yet people like Keyra still claim that all Christians are good because anyone who ever sins ever doesn’t count.


  • Katherine Hompes

    Cover my shame? Look buddy, how I feel about my thighs is my business. Oh well, it’s a good thing I prefer calf-length pencil skirts… Oh, too sexy for you? Deal with it.

  • Bitter Lizard

    Yeah, the first step really is admitting I have a problem.

  • Glasofruix

    Knowing that most of the chefs in restaurants are males….

  • Larry Meredith

    What should we really be ashamed of? Nothing at all?

  • korinthian

    This story makes no sense. Are angels really so powerless that they could be gang-raped in that manner?

  • Oswald Carnes

    He’s running a secret meth lab?

  • allein

    He seems somewhat obsessed with hairy men…

  • allein

    Isn’t the treadmill punishment enough?

  • Lori F

    Listen to that jerkwad in an enclosed room. That would require Serious Hazard Pay.

  • allein

    Thank God Hemant transcribes the good parts because otherwise I would miss all the fun. I’ve never made it to 6 minutes on one of this guy’s videos, let alone 16.

  • baal

    The content was bad enough but he was yelling and seemed about to start being violent. The pastor’s meta-point (sermon theme?) was that his followers shouldn’t read what the mean people on the internet are saying about him (or that being attacked proves you’re good and right or something).

  • Bitter Lizard


  • baal

    I keep thinking the Bible stories need to be read with a smaller scale. Imagine the ‘lord’ is really just a local warlord / feudal baron equivalent. He’d be in charge as ‘The boss’ but the average local person might never see them. Then let’s imagine that the Lord has Servants – they are angels. The angels would be flesh and blood agents but maybe they get a solid amount of protein (thanks to working for the big guy) and wind up a full 6-12 inches taller than the peons / serfs / slaves. tada, the story now makes more sense – how do you protect the agents of the mob boss from a rape gang? Send out your daughter!

    (ok i’m not sure it makes more sense in terms of being a good idea but I think the scaling idea is still valid)

  • MD

    Of course not! You’re wearing long skirts!

  • allein

    That’s probably why “her” blog only has “his” name in the url.

  • allein

    I’d hardly call him “mature”…

  • allein

    We’d all be dead or in the hospital halfway through.

  • pszymeczek

    So he’s like Nixon: “If the President does it, it’s not illegal.”

  • pszymeczek

    No, I’m wearing shorts and staying away from Faithful Word Church.

  • pszymeczek

    Robin doesn’t have to; the Feathered Bastard did it for us.

  • zapper45701

    Actually, it’s good that this guy is up spouting his point of view. We can recognize him for what he is, and therefore bypass him as soon as possible. It’s okay to be a jerk, as long as you wear the label that you are. And this guy’s label is as big as a billboard. We can clearly see him for what he is, and therefore avoid him and his message at our leisure.

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    Honestly, I don’t think either of you have a problem. It’s just funny to say that you do. Plus, I could look at dog asses all day.


  • C.L. Honeycutt

    Oh it looks like a lot, but compared to what remains, it’s nothing!

    I know a kid who went “only” six months without a haircut and with only a little brushing. He actually had plugs of hair stopping up his ears from all the scratching, and rashes inside. Intelligent design my arse.

  • Amor DeCosmos

    awesome, thanks.

  • pszymeczek

    We all have relatives, some more distant than others, that we can be deeply ashamed of.

  • pszymeczek

    George Carlin really had a way with words, didn’t he?

  • pszymeczek

    He runs, ironically enough, a fire alarm company. It’s co-located with his “church.”

  • BeasKnees

    I can’t believe you even made it that far. This guy hurts my brain.

  • wmdkitty

    And my head itches just thinking about that…

  • wmdkitty

    Yeah, he did. I miss that old fuck…

  • Alex S

    This guy is likely a self hating gay man. Anyone else getting that vibe from this guy?

  • Cameron

    The non-joke answer is because portayals of Jesus follow the culture of the artist doing the portrait. it’s why in america we see white jesus and much more rarely black jesus, asian jesus and some where out there is probably a racially accurate jewish jesus.

  • Nomad

    Once again, I’m not exactly defending the bible or even that story, but for this one issue, surely it still matters if a crowd wants to gang rape an angel even if the angel has super powers and is safe. That’s still a pretty wicked crowd. Just maybe also a stupid one.

  • Daniel

    Hey its 110 degrees in Tempe today. I expect people to wear very little here today!

  • gimpi1

    Douchie McJesuspants made my day. I’m still laughing.

  • Very True