32% of Americans Think the Syrian Crisis is Part of ‘End Times’

The controversy involving Syria has 32% of Americans thinking that it’s all part of the “end times” as told in the Bible.

32%!

A third of Americans seem to think there will be a Left Behind novel written about Syria.

More specifically, 26% of Americans think that the Syrian conflict is foreshadowing Armageddon.

This is all according to Christian pollsters LifeWay Research:

Previous U.S. military action, like the war in Afghanistan or air strikes during 1990s war in Bosnia, didn’t get the same reaction, said [LifeWay Research President Ed] Stetzer. But the fact that Syria shares a border with Israel, and is specifically mentioned in the Bible, has people thinking about the end times.

Most premillennial dispensationalists believe Christians will instantly disappear from the earth during an event called the rapture, followed by seven years of war and catastrophe. After the battle of Armageddon, Jesus will return and set up his kingdom on earth.

A third of Americans buy into that bullshit.

If you looked at the demographics of those results, the stereotypes were in full force: Poor people and Southerners were far more likely to believe this nonsense than rich people and Northerners (not that their numbers are anything to brag about):

Those in the South (40 percent) and with household incomes under $25,000 (41 percent are more likely to see Syria’s woes in the Bible. Those in the Northeast (24 percent) or with incomes over $75,000 (20 percent) are more skeptical.

I’m so embarrassed for mankind right now…

More demographic breakdowns:

Women (36 percent) are more likely than men (28 percent) to see a link between current events in Syria and the Bible.

Those who attend worship once or twice a month are more likely to see a tie between Syria’s trouble and the book of Revelation (51 percent agree), as are evangelical, born again, and fundamentalist Christians (58 percent agree.)

Fewer of those who rarely (25 percent) or never attend (14 percent) agree.

Older Americans are more likely to think U.S. airstrikes could lead to the battle of Armageddon, with 34 percent of those over 65 agreeing. Only 21 percent of those 18 to 29 agree.

Millennials shouldn’t pat themselves on the back yet, though. Check out how many young people think the world will end in their lifetime:

Younger Americans, however, are more likely to think the world would end in their lifetime. Twenty-four percent of those 18 to 29 agree, as opposed to only 15 percent of those over 65.

About a third (32%) of evangelical, born-again, fundamentalist Christians believe the world will end in their lifetime.

Remember this guy?

A quarter of Millennials think he was on the right track!

You know what? If you live outside of America, you should seriously send all of us atheists here amazing Solstice presents because we have to deal with these people on a daily basis.

The poll was conducted via a phone survey of 1,001 Americans earlier this month. No word on what the margin of error was.

(via Christian Nightmares)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Paul Little

    I’m skeptical of the results of this poll. It was conducted by a Christian agency with a specific agenda. I’d like to see the demographics of the respondents, as well as the exact wording of the questions asked. I suspect the results are artificially inflated by those and possibly other factors. I don’t believe 1/3 of Americans are that loopy.

    • C Peterson

      My thoughts, too. However, if that many are crazy, maybe the end of the world is a positive thing. Some experiments just need to be scrubbed when they go sufficiently wrong.

    • 3lemenope

      I do believe they are that loopy. Keep in mind that this requires substantially less loopyness than usual, because unfortunately for sense, decency, and everyone’s piece of mind, Damascus is mentioned by name in Biblical text about the “end times” (damn you, Isaiah!), so it doesn’t take the usual “if you squint and look at it sideways” routine that most modern applications of Biblical text require.

      • http://www.secularview.com/ Dirty_Nerdy

        Except that Isaiah isn’t actually about the “end times.” In fact, when I was a Christian and studied Christian eschatology, there were numerous Christian scholars who flat out rejected any prophecies from the Old Testament as being connected to Revelation or the “end times”. I can see why those dispensationalists who buy into the Left Behind books would wet their pants over this, but Isaiah really has nothing to do with Revelation.

        • 3lemenope

          It’s because they’re reading it upside-down under candlelight.

          What I’m saying is, leave aside the theological niceties for a moment, the fact that Damascus is named in the Bible as something that will be destroyed before shit gets really interesting, associated with a prophet no less, is enough to move this thing into something that Christians can get excited about much more easily than the usual crazy.

    • JET

      Agreed. Who doesn’t just hang up on religious telephone polls? Religious people. Any millennial answering a land line? Only those living in a severely restricted environment and not owning a cell phone. I’m guessing the type of people who even bothered with this poll are the type of people who would answer in this way.

    • Brian R

      I am really disappointed by tFA. Atheists pride themselves on being critical and analytical, and not buying into bullshit results from a horribly conducted survey. The fact that this made news on this site is disappointing.

      • michael both

        I partially agree, but dig a little deeper – I find it interesting that it’s a Christian organisation who appear to want to ‘push’ this agenda.
        Besides that, the not-uncommon Christian fascination for wanting to ‘get on with getting into heaven’ is disturbing; it’s almost a faith-driven death-wish.

        • Jeff See

          You’re more right than you would know. The urge to get to the end, (preferably before we die naturally, thus avoiding the pain of death), is intense in some believers (it was in me). I think I wanted to, as I was being lifted into heaven, thumb my nose at the infidels and go ‘neener neener neener, see, we were right!’.

          This should in no way reflect the individual desires of other believers though. I sincerely think most of them wanted Armageddon, because that meant one step closer to the gravy train that is residency in heaven. Of course, no one stops to think about how their little kid is never going to grow up once they all get there, and grandma is still going to be a shriveled, bent over, saggy boobed sack of bones (albeit a painless sack of old bones), and the only thing you’ve to do there is bask in all the excess glory lying around. Fun times.

          But I do think your perception of people wishing for, hoping for, the end times is very genuine. I honestly think they want to avoid death, and see their beliefs proven, their sacrifices to living a ‘normal life’ justified, before they die here, and learn otherwise.

          • scottindallas

            Jesus said in heaven you won’t know your mother from your sister. His promise is far more obscure than the childish promise that in heaven it’s a palace of hedonism

    • trj

      I think it’s unavoidable that the poll is severely skewed. After all, how can you, in an objective way, pose the question whether the Syrian situation is a precursor for Armageddon? Many of the Christians who were asked such a question would answer in the affirmative, not because they’d actually know that Syria is supposed to play a role in Armageddon, but because to them fucking everything is a sign of the End Times and impending Armageddon.

    • busterggi

      Clearly you have never heard of the Republican Party.

  • Lee Miller

    “Most premillennial dispensationalists believe Christians will instantly disappear from the earth during an event called the rapture.”

    The sooner the better! Is there any way to speed this up so the rest of us can get on with our lives?

    • WallofSleep

      “… followed by seven years of war and catastrophe.”

      Meh, I’ve made worse trades.

      • NickDB

        Hey if all the war and catastrophe stops after 7 years, I’d say it’s a win all round.

        • BeaveVillage

          God’s wrath will pour out on the world during these 7 years, which is why the Christians were removed at the beginning of it. Those who become saved and believe in Jesus Christ during the 7 years will also be saved at the end, but they will face mass prosecution and death before the Battle of Armageddon.

          It will be the most terrible time in Earth’s history, the Great Tribulation period, where the AntiChrist rules the world, and will likely emerge from the revived Roman Empire — the European Union.

          • Larzan

            Are there still people believing in this?

          • Scott Plumer

            More terrible than the disco era?

          • Roland W. Bailey

            And several butchers aprons…

          • SunshineBlind

            Humans can wage wars that will kill us all in a matter of hours, maybe days. Does “God” really need seven years? To me, I almost envy the people who were so naive about human potential that “seven years of horrifying war” seemed like the worst imaginable. :/ Besides, the Roman Empire of today is clearly the USA, not EU. Hell, you both even have eagles as symbols, talk the “language of the (western) world” (which was latin in ancient times, by the way), and you’re expansionistic and warlike.

            • Aaron Wilson

              The US is definitely warlike, probably even more so than Rome, but expansionist? The last time the country did any expanding was in the 1800′s, and the last territory related thing the US has done is cede land *to* Mexico in the 70′s.

              • rtodd23

                That’s not entirely true; we appropriated a number of territories after WWII, and expansionism does not necessarily mean a physical increase of borders.

          • tonz

            cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo …

          • Euroskeptic

            The revived roman empire is the EU?? Italy is on the brink of collapse. The EU is actualy the revived German empire. You need to get a grip of Euro affairs sonny.

          • wacokjacko

            Hilarious

          • Matt H

            The closest thing we have to a modern Roman Empire is the Catholic Church

          • Amy Newman

            The tinfoil is thick with this one.

          • Matt D

            Why, thanks for the update Harold Camping! Now, let me get my checkbook, since we always end up with that…………..is a *zillion* dollars enough?

          • DC

            7 years?? Yeesh, the bullshit in Iraq went on for 10.

            • PhxCcT

              it is still going on..

        • WIllie Stoker

          NIckdb, you may want to rethink that. You won’t be around then.

      • Bart Blommaerts

        don’t the ones we already had count as ‘times served’?

      • James

        Only seven? Wow, we must be getting a “peace” candidate soon!

    • duke_of_omnium

      My question has always been, other than Wal-Marts being critically understaffed, what would be the downside to all the christians leaving at once?

      • Rip Van Winkle

        All the Christians who are driving cars at the time, whose vehicles will careen out of control and kill a bunch of people?

        • duke_of_omnium

          I’m not sure. Every car I’ve ever seen with a Jesus fish would be better driven if there was no-one at the wheel at all.

        • Qrayze

          Don’t worry, that’s when Jesus takes the wheel.

          • Artor

            Jesus rode a dinosaur, not a car. I’m pretty sure he’s not licensed or insured.

            • JohnnieCanuck

              And then there’s Carrie Underwood who seems to think He’s the best driver there is, and she has the record sales to show that over 2 million Americans might be sympathetic to the idea.

          • Eric Johnston

            That one was actually funny!

      • Mackinz

        Welllllllllll, the sudden disappearance of several billion people worldwide would have an effect.

        At the very least, there would be no more efforts to get the Bible taught in schools.

        • Artor

          There’s nowhere near than many Xians who qualify for moving upstairs. If every single “good, true Xian™” were raptured, that would be what, 2 or 3 people, worldwide?

          • Paul Little

            This. Absolutely this.

        • James Giordano

          You are know when you all persecute us like that you are also making prophesy come true as well right?

          • 3lemenope

            See all the mean things you say bounce off of me, but stick to you, because I’m Christianrubber and you’re evil heathen atheistglue.

            That about sum it up?

            • James Giordano

              i just made a simple point of what is stated in the bible i was not preaching to you…. geeze defensive much?

              • James Giordano

                see me as a christian i can take what you guys throw at me cause it is your opinion and i can respect that but the question i have is why cant you respect mine?

                • Brandon

                  Because opinions/ideas/beliefs do not have to be respected. If an opinion, idea, or belief is stupid, I have a right to point it out, and ridicule it into oblivion. Sure you can choose to respect someone’s opinion, and that is fine, but if it causes harm to people I will stand up and voice my own opinion about it and disrespect the hell out of it.

                • James Giordano

                  thats not how i roll brandon

                • Dirk

                  You can’t come to an article like this, that clearly makes a fool out of Christians, and expect respect. If you want respect go to church (but don’t forget your wallet).

                • Jamie

                  Because Christianity causes harm to animals, children, adults, the environment, basic skills of reasoning, emotional health, and so much more. That is why I do not respect your “opinion.” Do you still respect my deeply held, reasoned belief system?

                • James Giordano

                  i have never hurt and animal or a child never found a use for violence unless defending myself, Christianity does not hurt emotionally (well unless your catholic which i am not i am non denominational btw) i found it made me more in-tuned with who i am and gave me more hope and helps me look at life more positively and yes i feel your view is your view if you dont want to believe its your business not mine so i may not agree with what you say but damn it i will respect your right to say it. was that the answer you were expecting from a big bad christian cause it is not my job to judge you.

                • Taryn Geer

                  Does that mean you cherry pick bits from each religion to suit your own likes and dislikes?

                • George

                  You have a right to hold any opinion or belief you want, you do not have a right to have that belief respected.

                • James Giordano

                  then are you then going against the principals of atheism cause the comment always made to me was that atheism was by far more tolerant then any religion.

                • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

                  They are, it’s just that they’ve a really low threshold for bullshit, and will call it out.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  Atheism is not a belief system or a philosophy. Why are you commenting on it if you don’t know that?

                • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

                  tolerant of what? People wanting to do things that don’t hurt other people? Usually. People believing in strange things that cause harm to other people? Not so much.

                • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

                  Hey, it’s Snuffie! Loving your avatar, man!

                • Shiloh

                  Science doesn’t require your belief to be true, you should respect it, it dictates your life. You haven’t flown with your arms recently, right?

                  Faith based beliefs are as subject to ridicule as much as believing in tooth fairy, unicorns, or flying spaghetti monsters.

              • 3lemenope

                I’ll take that as a yes.

              • Nina

                “You are know when you all persecute us like that you are also making prophesy come true as well right?”

                I’ve never seen that verse…..
                Looks like you’re the defensive one. No on is persecuting you, grow up and believe what you want, we don’t need that stuff in our lives.

              • tonz

                yes but the Bible is just full of fictionalised fairy stories that has no bearing on anything that will happen in the future. It`s totally irrelevant what`s stated in the bible. you might as well just quote JRR Tolkien.

                • James Giordano

                  well then the same goes for the THEORY of evolution.. but a lot of keyboard atheist i know tend to site the good ol book of Darwin a lot. just so you know i am only stating keyboard atheist not actual atheist cause my real world friends that happen to be atheist actually respect the opinions of others.

                • Shiloh

                  You need to go read up what a Theory is in science.. you think it is a guess. It is not. A theory (note lowercase t) is used by people to mean guess but in science a Theory is pretty much true. Do you doubt Gravity Theory? Cell Theory? Atomic Theory? No.

                  a guess is a hypothesis.. not a Theory

            • Taryn Geer

              lol…ridiculous

          • Mackinz

            This just in: satire us the same as persecution. Christians in the Middle East encouraged to laugh away the Muslim mobs that want to destroy their churches and kill the infidels.

            More at 11.

          • Phuuk

            Nobody has persecuted you. When we start burning Christians at the stake, you can start claiming persecution.

            • James Giordano

              didn’t say you were persecuting me, you guys are stating your view but there are a lot of countries that do put to death many Christians and there are 57 countries where Christianity is banned and punishable by death and it happens more now today then ever.

              • Tom

                This persecution is carried out by believers of a very similar Abrahamic religion called islam, not by atheists. The theory of evolution is consistent with the scientific method, the bible has no basis in reality. The fact that you capitalize theory as if your making a point shows you do not understand the meaning of theory in a scientific context. Educate yourself.

                • James Giordano

                  welp maybe not as much in todays society but look at trotsky, mao, stalin, and hitler they were all confirmed atheist and look at what they were known to do.

                • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

                  Hitler? A ‘confirmed’ atheist? Really?

                  (and while you count up Christians killed in each of those regimes, don’t forget everyone else. Including atheists)

                • Shiloh

                  First off, no Atheist kills “for Atheism” we have no god to die for or heaven to die for.

                  Second, saying Mao was Atheist means absolutely nothing. The Chinese have been and still are, largely atheistic since the Zhou Dynasty (first dynasty).

                  Second Hitler was a confirmed Christian, he made that clear in many speeches.

                  The list of Theological Dictators I’m sure is much longer.. we have some today.

                • Tom

                  Some mass murdering dictators were atheists, therefore it makes sense to believe in a supernatural creator, one that will send you to hell for eternity for not following the bible, like an evil dictator.

                • Tom

                  And Hitler was a catholic.

              • Jesse

                “You are know when you all persecute us like that you are also making prophesy come true as well right?” — James Giordano

                • James Giordano

                  how was i persecuting you i don’t hold not hate for your beliefs and if i have any problems with an atheist then it is due to their ignorance just like you guys hate the ignorance of some christians.

              • Phuuk

                Good. It is an intolerant religion which preaches only one proper way of life. For hundreds of years now, Christians have been invading other countries, telling the people living there that thier old way of life is wrong, and then killing off and raping the natives to have whatever materials and land they so pleased. You should read more on the Spanish Conquistadors and then tell me that people spread the word of Christ in love. They do it for money. And for fame. Your religion is a farce. Keep giving your tithes, I’m sure the priest who touches young boys as he whispers holy things appreciates it.

                • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

                  No, killing people because of what they believe is no better than killing them for what they don’t believe. No matter what Christianity is, Christians are people.

                • Phuuk

                  I’m not advocating killing people. More so, commenting on the idea as to why other countries ban the practice of the religion. Christianity enters other countries as though it were a solicitor; knocking on your door in the middle of dinner, putting a gun to your head, and ordering you to buy a perfectly new vacuum, when the one you have isn’t broken.

                • James Giordano

                  see he is an example with someone with some sort of humanity. wtg rich

              • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

                Citation please? Because I found http://www.prisoneralert.com/vompw_persecution.htm

                Which says

                In more than 40 nations around the world today Christians are being persecuted for their faith. In some of these nations it is illegal to own a Bible, to share your faith Christ, change your faith or teach your children about Jesus.

                It doesn’t say “Christianity is banned and punishable by death”

                Not to make light of anything, but just holding you to factual integrity.

                • James Giordano
                • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

                  Thanks, that’s Ten, TWO of which officially outlaw Christianity (Maldives and North Korea). Atheism is also illegal in Maldives. So I’ll append my list of “Cuba” and “parts of China” to include “North Korea” as places where it’s more dangerous to be a Christian than an atheist.

                  You said you had 57? Where are the other 55?

                  I hope you understand my point isn’t that being a Christian isn’t dangerous in many (especially Islamic) countries. My point was that you said it was illegal and it’s not (although in many leaving Islam is).

              • C.L. Honeycutt

                Yes, you did. You specifically said WE were persecuting YOU. Even if we take it that you mean “Christians are being persecuted”, you are still specifically saying that WE are persecuting Christians. Tell the truth, please.

                What happens in other countries is not relevant to what we do, or to the Syrian crisis. Stop trying to change the subject to cover up saying that.

              • Taryn Geer

                More wars have been fought in the name of religion over the centuries and atrocities carried than for any other reason. Christianity, Catholicism, it’s all the same. “It happens more now today than ever” are you sure about that?

              • Joe Murray

                Yes, and those same countries also ban every other religion and have the punishment for practicing them being death. Don’t think your brand of religion is special, because it is not.

              • P.Tech Services

                I registered just for this comment:

                James Giordano, you are a passive-aggressive self-righteous dick just like most every religion-defending person I have ever met. You come onto a clearly Atheism oriented topic/board and try to do the whole “I just want respect” spiel. Right away you state persecution with a prophetic warning. No “hi how are you” or anything. Then in the post right above mine here you say “didn’t say you were persecuting me”. Typical hollow wishy-washy defenses as I would expect.

                For the record I respect religion enough to let each person find their own way, but when they start saying I’m persecuting for having a laugh about their beliefs I’m just gonna respond with “well Christians persecute us Athiests among their social circles too, the only difference is we do it jokingly, they [Christians] damn us to hell, for ETERNITY”.

              • Ilya Crols

                “didn’t say you were persecuting me, you guys are stating your view but
                there are a lot of countries that do put to death many Christians and
                there are 57 countries where Christianity is banned and punishable by
                death and it happens more now today then ever.” – James Giordano

                The people doing those things AREN’T ATHEISTS, they’re other (extremist) religious people. Religions push people to do bad things.

                Atheist people, in the US, when they are open about their conviction are often fired by christian bosses, cannot get governmental jobs and are excluded from small communities.

                In Europe (where I’m from) things are better: neither christians, nor atheists are ‘persecuted’ (as you call it) and religion is slowly fading into the background (i.e. whether you are christian or atheist won’t change your chances of getting a job – unless you want to work for the pope)

                Being a faithful Muslim still has it’s drawbacks (bosses don’t like their people to have to take religious breaks, it messes up their time tables) but luckily a lot of muslims are not so strict.

                The US is kind of in a dark age (with a few bright spots, e.g. Harvard has a really good atheistic support), the beacon of the middle east that shone bright while europe went dark, has been extinguished, Russia and China have no freedom of speech, upcoming countries like India and Brazil still have a lot of corruption to fight (as do south European countries) (actually all countries in the world still have a lot of corruption to fight, but some less than others).

                I’m rather happy that I was born in Europe, it seems like the most sensible place on earth at the moment. I just hope those euro-skeptics don’t get their way. National governments in the EU can’t be trusted, at least the EU government has able people in it (but they can’t get things done because national governments don’t listen/work together)

                Oh, I forgot Australia, but not much happens there, and atheists are still ‘persecuted’ there (as you call it)

          • C.L. Honeycutt

            Your prophecy already came true. Revelations was written as a metaphor for the political situation in Roman times. It was intentionally obfuscated to protect Christians from reprisals when they criticized the emperor. Therefore, inasmuch as it could occur, Revelations already happened almost 2000 years ago.

            Seriously, this is trivial knowledge among Biblical scholars. Leave your persecution complex at home and read.

            Biblical prophecy has been disproved anyway. Here’s an easy one: look up what Ezekiel (a Biblical prophet and thus, according to the Bible, incapable of speaking untruths) claimed would happen to the city of Tyre. Then look up what actually became of Tyre.

        • Jonas

          You sure? You’d think that after the rapture, you’d kinda HAVE to take the bible seriously. It’d certainly make me re-evaluate my atheism and grudgingly admit that there just might be something to this religion thing.

        • Paul Davis

          Bible says clearly that only 144,000 will be raptured. It could easily happen and nobody notice.

          • Bah Humbug

            already happened in ww2 was when we bommed Japan.lol

          • Sabrina G

            That’s not much help then.

          • tonz

            144,000 people disappear and no one would notice!!! are you insane!

            • Kiera Hutton

              144,000 people worldwide.. With a world population of over 7 billion people, do you honestly think 144,000 is much more than a drop in the bucket? Granted, if 144,000 people disappeared from a concentrated area all at once, then yes, we would absolutely notice. But scattered world wide? Not necessarily.

        • JS71

          May be far fewer than you think who’d actually disappear based on where their true faith lies…lol

      • WIllie Stoker

        Duke, I hope you don’t have to get the answer to that in real time. It won’t be a pretty site, with all the good people gone from the planet, Evil will abound, even more than it does now.

        • duke_of_omnium

          Yeah. Christians are “the good people”. Heh heh. That’s high-quality satire. You should try writing humor for a living.

        • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

          All the good people… So either the common end times interpretation is wrong and it’s not Christians who are ruptured but good people, or you actually think there are no good Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, atheists etc.

          Do yo really think only Christians are ‘good’? really?

    • CoNZervative

      Move to North Korea and have ‘non-christianity’ now. (Take some food).

  • JasmynMoon

    It makes sense that younger religious people expect the end of time with their lives. If you likely only have five years left, then it wouldn’t be a likely thing. If you can expect to live another fifty years, it makes sense to think such things may occur.
    Of course, regardless of age it’s ridiculous bullshit.

    • C Peterson

      No, it makes no sense at all for any religious people to believe this nonsense. Religion can’t be viewed as a valid excuse to believe bullshit. Idiot Christians have been predicting they were in the last of days for 2000 years now. It hasn’t proven to be a very successful prediction.

      It “makes sense” only if we recognize the belief in the context of the mental illness that engenders it.

  • Jeff S.

    The crazification factor of 27% appears to be on the rise.

    http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2005/10/lunch-discussions-145-crazification.html

  • http://nwrickert.wordpress.com/ Neil Rickert

    I guess we really are living in a lunatic asylum.

  • Rain

    A third of Americans buy into that bullshit.

    That’s way up from the 100% of cavemen that thought “fire bad water good”. Making progress.

    • islandbrewer

      Well, there was Ogg, you know. He drowned. But he was always a contrarian.

  • Jordan

    Possible wording of questions:

    Do you believe the Syrian crisis is:
    A. A sign of the Biblical End times.
    B. A sign of President Obama’s overzealousness toward war.
    C. A sign of President Obama’s reluctance to bomb his fellow Muslims.
    D. What is a Syrian?
    E. What is a crisis?

  • cryofly

    I just can’t wait to see the ‘end times’ of Judeao-Christian-Mohameddan joke. And I fervently hope that is the ‘end times’ all are thinking about. As @Lee Miller notes below, “The sooner the better!” – Amen.

  • Justin Rawlings

    Didn’t they say the same thing about World War 1 and 2?

    • pRinzler

      If you keep on making the same prediction, sooner or later it’s bound to come true. I just know this time it’s for real. [/christian]

    • Artor

      And the turn of the century, and the last one, and the one before that, and…

    • BeaveVillage

      Indeed they did! Many families were afraid to have children during these times because of the words in the book that mention hardships for pregnant women, it wasn’t until after WW1 and WW2 were over was there a great boom of babies in the word. WW3 will naturally have the same effect, but of course if it ends up being a nuclear war the global population will then have to grow to levels they were 500-1000 years ago.

  • Brian

    There are going to be some SWEET yard sales soon.

    • margieR

      I live in an area where this poll might actually have been done! I am looking forward to acquiring a boat load of fundamentalist’s yarn and fiber, not to mention knitting needles and crochet hooks, at those yard sales, ohhh and I bet they hoard fabric too!

  • Rain

    Most premillennial dispensationalists believe Christians will instantly disappear from the earth during an event called the rapture, followed by seven years of war and catastrophe. After the battle of Armageddon, Jesus will return and set up his kingdom on earth.

    What a quaint little merging of two wild fantasies. Heaven the special place for specially superior people, and Jesus’s wild-eyed megalomaniacal fantasy of getting his revenge on everyone and being crowned the king of the world that he so richly deserves. What a cute little religion.

  • WallofSleep

    Evolution? Hogwash!
    Climate change? Poppycock!
    Armageddon? Totally real, dude. Don’t even joke.

  • Rachael Lefler

    This is according to Christian polls. That means they’re only polling Christians. It’s not the same as a Gallup Poll or similar thing with a larger sample size that’s more representative of all Americans. So, the title of this should say 32% of Christians, not 32% of Americans. I think if the poll was less biased, the results would be different, less dramatic.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      Yeah, I question their methodology. They don’t say anything about how they selected the people they’d call, or whether they only called land lines, and if they did if they did anything to account for how many people now don’t have land lines.

    • buddha

      I would like to learn more about their methodology as well, but nowhere in the article does it say that they only polled Christians.

      • Paul Little

        It doesn’t say anything about methodology. All the more reason to be suspicious of it.

    • Guest

      according to a gallop poll 40% of americans believe in young earth creationism (earth only 6000 years old) so yea this 32% doesn’t surprise me

  • daryl carpenter

    Given their general assumptions, the average end times fundamentalist HAS to believe that Isaiah and other Old Testament prophets meant their words to apply to events two millennia in the future, rather than in their own contemporary times (which is clearly the more reasonable answer). But to accept this would mean the bible is nothing more than a archaic period piece with little relevance for today’s world. For the fundamentalist, giving up such a belief would be an enormous wrench, and it highlights the intellectual immaturity on show. Rather than accepting the bible for what limited wisdom it might provide, for fundamentalists there’s always this crass hankering for signs and wonders. For them, ‘faith’ isn’t enough. Not by a long shot. The pathetic need for ‘proofs from prophecy’ demonstrates this.

  • LesterBallard

    What is bad, is that many of them want it to be “Armageddon”. They want cataclysmic war, death, and destruction, because they believe Jesus will come and Rapture their asses to Heaven. And as icing on the cake, all of us unbelievers will get to suffer. They would gladly have a nuclear war because they believe this shit.

    • A3Kr0n

      What they don’t realize is rapture to heaven means you die here on Earth. I’m reminded of the old saying “don’t wait for your ship to come in, swim out after it”.

      • LesterBallard

        No, they believe they will be instantly transported to Heaven while they’re alive. They’ll hear a trumpet or something, and boom, they’re in Heaven. They love talking about what it will be like. Very imaginative. And delusional.

        • A3Kr0n

          Well, that’s just silly :-)

      • Paul Little

        Actually, not. They believe they will be bodily transported to Heaven, bypassing the inconvenience of having to die first.

        • ZenDruid

          The only way I can see that happen is if they all got sucked into tornadoes.

  • ElrictheMad

    Based on this poll i believe 32% of Americans should be kept away from firearms, dangerous chemicals, sharp objects, positions of political power, automobiles or heavy equipment, impressionable children & me.

    • Jane McQueen

      Unfortunately this poll will be used by the religious right to screen and pick candidates to stand for election, funded by the NRA and pharmaceutical companies

      • 3lemenope

        Because when I think the religious right, I think pharmaceutical companies.

        Isn’t it great how politics makes strange bedfellows?

  • karlaK

    I’m not surprised that a lot of young people think the world will end in their lifetime, because it doesn’t specifically say due to Armageddon. With global warming, and warmongering — I can see why they think humans are doomed.

  • tyler

    on the one hand, maybe the threat of armageddon will sway people to protest a syrian airstrike

    on the other hand, maybe the promise of armageddon will sway people to push for a syrian airstrike

    looking on the bright side is really tough

  • margieR

    Given that this poll is by a conservative fundamentalist organization, I think that the slant is obvious and that there is no likelihood that those numbers apply to the American public in any meaningful way.

  • David

    The world currently contains the least amount of international conflict than it ever has before. How many times or how long will Christians predict the world is going to end soon? The funny thing is that they don’t seem to realize that Jesus promised his return by the end of the lives of those who witnessed him ascend into heaven. He’s a little late.

    • JohnnieCanuck

      I think it’s the Shi’ites who solved a similar problem by declaring that the guy in question never died and is still hanging around somewhere not too far from their neighbourhood. Otherwise it’s the Shi’a.

      All a creative Christian has to do is derive some new dogma to the effect that the people Jesus promised would see his return are in fact still alive. Somewhere.

  • Sue Blue

    Every time I think Americans have scraped the bottom of the barrel of stupidity, I’m somehow shocked to find that the barrel apparently has no bottom.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      That’s because we’ve stopped scraping and are now actively digging.

    • Caitlyn Behnke

      Sucks for the smart ones in the middle of this disgusting chaos.

  • John

    Can’t help but think that poll was a bit biased. Still, that’s a lot of people.

  • Rip Van Winkle

    And atheists around the world will be laughing, again and again and again, when the End Times doesn’t happen as foretold.

    When will these ‘end of the world’ people quit jumping on the bandwagon every time something off kilter happens? The world hasn’t ended just cuz some cunt said it would. People who believe this garbage just give the rest of us something to laugh and shake our heads at every time they fall for it and the day goes by without a thing happening.

  • JA

    Unfortunately for premillennial dispensationalists, the rapture was first conceptualized in the 1840s. It has no biblical precedence.

    The fact that so few Christians know their own religion’s history makes me sad.

    • Teddy Haarz

      what? the word rapture isn’t in the bible, the concept is…

      • JA

        Where at?

        • Teddy Haarz

          1 Thessalonians 4:15-17

  • WallofSleep

    Let’s pretend for a moment this stuff is more than just fairy tales. When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrive, are we gonna draw straws to see who gets stuck having to explain to Them why Their jobs are mostly finished, or are we gonna do it by lottery?

  • Kevin Shannon

    Religion is mind control and is the reason for so many apathetic Americans!

    • Darric

      I’m not sure I agree with this. I don’t see the religious of America as apathetic.
      I live in New Zealand and we are a lot more secular here but I would also argue much more apathetic.
      I kind of wish the religious in America were more apathetic.

  • Joe

    Just when you thought Christians couldn’t be more stupid than they already are…

  • infidel

    if the US bombs syria, it will not be armageddon for the world, but for the US itself.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Except for the part where the U.S. is too large, too widespread, and too far away for any such prediction to come true short of Russia having a case of mass top-down insanity.

  • busterggi

    Let’s be honest, that same 32% has believed virtually everything is a sign of the End Times for over a century from dropping the gold standard through movies through comic books through rock & roll through hippies through disco (the closest to right they’ve been) and on & on.

  • Artor

    I expect there will indeed be a Left Behind book written to feature Syria. Not because I believe in any of that shit, but because Tim LaHaye is an ignorant, talentless hack with little or no connection to reality. Of COURSE he’ll work this into another book to fleece his fellow Xian dupes with. And Kirk Cameron will star in the movie adaptation, straight-to-DVD.

  • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

    Wait, hasn’t any body linked http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg yet?

    • Junoh315

      SWEET JESUS!

      • Oranje

        That’s only in the south. In the north he comes unsweetened and you have to ask for the sugar.

        • Junoh315

          That explains why he was so bitter with me the other day.

  • guestpost

    You can read- can’t you? Pick up the book and read and study the words and you may be blessed enough to get it. Hemant

    • Oranje

      I say the same thing about Where’s Waldo. If you’d just take the time to pick it up, put in some effort, and really study, you’ll find Him.

  • JoeBuddha

    Apparently the U. S. has already lost everything west of the Mississippi…

  • WillBell

    I’ve got a friend who believes that in Canada.

    • Oranje

      Sorry, I read your post at first at didn’t see “that” in it. I was thinking that I believe in Canada, too.

  • advancedatheist

    Of course, when the secular version of The End Times’ prophecies called the Global Warming Apocalypse fails to materialize (Arctic summer sea ice, anyone?), the believers in that doomsday decline to admit to error.

    I have to deal with another version of The End Times in the transhumanist subculture because transhumanists since the 1970′s have set dates for when we all allegedly “become immortal,” and several of these dates have come and gone. These predictions make no logical sense, despite my educational efforts to make transhumanists knock off this nonsense, because we have no way of knowing if a healthy longevity breakthrough has happened except by noticing it retrospectively, after a whole lot of people have lived well past 120 years, and in good physical and cognitive shape. That rules out having any such knowledge in this century, because every year between now and 2100 falls within current life expectancies. That means that people who wake up on Jan. 1, 2045 (the current date popular with many transhumanists) won’t mysteriously become “immortal,” any more than the ones who woke up on Jan. 1 in earlier dates like 1980, 1989, 2000, 2010 or 2012. Google my book review essay, “That ’70′s Transhumanism,” to see what I mean.

    I wonder what the transhumanists will say when, for example, their immortality proophet Ray Kurzweil dies on schedule. I looked up the actuarial tables and performed a calculation with the help of a spreadsheet, and an American man Ray’s current age (65) has odds of 22 out of 100 of dying in the next ten years. Think of it as playing Russian Roulette with a five -chambered revolver, and pulling the trigger once.

    • baal

      “I have to deal with another version of The End Times in the transhumanist subculture”

      Actually, you don’t.

      I think the transhumanists are nutty but as they do exactly nothing to the laws or schools or otherwise try to screw with my life like political christianisty does, you can just flatly ignore them.

      • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

        What’s this transhumanism you speak of?

        • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

          Shortly (and I haven’t paid much attention) Ray Kurzweil thinks we’ll soon be able to digitize the human consciousness, we’ll be able to ‘live’ on in a computer after our bodies die.

          So I think ‘transhumanism’ means moving the consciousness from human to brain to some other storage device (maybe a newly grown brain? IDK)

          I’m not looking forward to leaving the party, but I’m not going to throw a tantrum about it either.

          • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

            Why would I want to “live on” without a body?

            I’ve made peace with my mortality, but I’d like to die on my own terms, on my own time, instead of being left to waste away to nothing.

        • 3lemenope

          Rich has a piece of it, but transhumanism is really just the idea that human bodies can–and ought to–be modified beyond normal maintenance to enhance their longevity and capacities. One such notion is digitizing consciousness to cheat death, but that’s a rather extreme end-point idea. Most transhumanists focus on body-mod technologies and are interested in cybernetic and biochemical means of body repair and enhancement.

    • guest
  • advancedatheist

    Most premillennial dispensationalists believe Christians will instantly disappear from the earth during an event called the rapture, followed by seven years of war and catastrophe.

    Ironically christians who believe this way have it partly right. Christians will “disappear from the earth,” all right, but through natural processes as the religion dies off and we enter the “Jesus who?” era. But that won’t result in “years of war and catastrophe,” apart from what normally happens, because the people who live afterwards probably won’t notice christianity’s absence.

    Certain kinds of biblical literalists want to compress both the past and the future by promoting a recent creation and an imminent End Times, because the cosmic vistas revealed by modern science shrink Jesus’ importance in the scheme of things. They understand on some level that if Jesus arrived after billions of human lives had already come and gone beyond “saving,” then that raises awkward questions about the “plan of salvation.” And if the human species could stick around for additional thousands and tens of thousands of years, then that increases the likelihood that the Jesus cult will vanish like a lot of other ancient religions.

    Think of it this way: Humans alive 10,000 years from now, roughly the span between the end of the last Ice Age and our time, could live in a world where the dominant religion started about 8,000 years from now, or 2,000 years in their past. Ten millennia from now, only a handful of scholars, at best, might even know that something called christianity once existed, and they would have to try to reconstruct its history and doctrines from fragmentary records.

  • Rickey Miller

    Heck! Me getting up in the morning is foreshadowing Armageddon.

  • Kyle Wilson

    The Bible and Christianity are not the same. And why are you comparing incomes? What does financial situation have anything to do with this? In reality, the poor and lowly are wiser, according to the Bible! Not Christianity. Christianity is pagan and full of false doctrines. Look at all the signs they’ve been giving us, especially with the recent movies…”World War Z”, “This Is The End”, “White House Down”, “The World’s End”, etc… Isaiah 17:1 – “The burden of Damascus. Behold, Damascus is taken away from being a city, and it shall be a ruinous heap.” That’s biblical prophecy. Not Christian philosophy. Christianity is white washed and full of hypocrisy. They follow SUNday worship. They hardly teach people what they need to know, just what they want to know…and most of the churches are under the 501c3. Basically the pastors are paid to NOT SPEAK ON CERTAIN TOPICS. It’s a wicked cult. The Word is separate. Understand this. Proverbs 28:1 – “The rich man is wise in his own conceit; but the poor that hath understanding searcheth him out.” Proverbs 11:2 – “When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.”

    • baal

      “Look at all the signs”

      Or don’t. You could look at a range of facts, think about them and then come to a conclusion. You’d want to then see if your conclusion has predictive powers and consider tossing it or modifying it if it fails to predict future outcomes.

      Also, your wall of text post formatting with the excessive use of bible cites makes you appear unhinged to those who are not in your camp. If you want to actually be understood or read by the audience here, you’d need to use more normal English and edit your style for the medium (comment in a blog).

  • Kyle Wilson

    And the rapture is a false doctrine. Do your research. What Christians think is the “rapture” is actually the Messiah on his way back to the earth, and the saints in Abraham’s bosom(Luke 16) will rise and join his army to take out the wicked. He’s coming back with a sword in his hand. He’s coming back for judgment. Matthew 13:39 – “The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and THE REAPERS ARE THE ANGELS.” Malachi 4:1 – “For, behold, the day cometh, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble: and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the Most High of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.” Isaiah 13:9 “Behold, the day of the Most High cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it.” Isaiah 30:27 – “Behold, the name of the Most High cometh from far, burning with his anger, and the burden thereof is heavy: his lips are full of indignation, and his tongue as a devouring fire:”
    Amos 5:18-20 ” 18 Woe unto you that desire the day of the Lord! to what end is it for you? the day of the Lord is darkness, and not light.
    19 As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him; or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him.
    20 Shall not the day of the Lord be darkness, and not light? even very dark, and no brightness in it?”

    Don’t know how much more proof you need. And just so you know, an atheist isn’t the best qualified as an “expert” on the Bible. They don’t believe! So how can they claim to be such experts on the book?

    Psalms 14:1 – ” The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.”

    It’s like someone that doesn’t believe in numbers claiming to be an expert mathematician.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      “And the rapture is a false doctrine.”

      Well it’s all “false doctrine”

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r53cfDY_JKM&t=37m47s

      “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God”

      The Hebrew words rendered fool in Psalms denote one who is morally deficient.

      http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+14&version=NIV

      Which would mean that people who are morally deficient deny God, but doesn’t say anything about people who don’t believe in God. Apples are fruit, but a fruit isn’t necessarily an apple.

      Maybe you should do some more research of your own.

    • No Voodoo please

      What utter bollocks.

  • Paul Davis

    Go look at the bell curve for intelligence. Draw a line exactly up the middle. That’s average. 50% fall below the average. Draw another line at the point where you’d cut 30%. Figure up the IQ. Come back and we can discuss this.

  • Crowtalk

    You’re wasting time on this drivel.

  • Yoav

    First, there is a good chunk of American christians who think that the kid at the McDonald’s drive through getting their order wrong is a sign of the end times so the first number is hardly surprising.
    What really concerns me about the second number is, how many of these people that think bombing Syria would bring about Armageddon also think it is a good thing.

  • Jonas

    In all fairness, a military strike COULD lead to Armageddon. After all, all military actions have the potential to spiral completely out of control and end in nuclear holocaust.

  • ric

    Why are we talking about going to war against Siri?!? I know that she’s highly unreliable, but overall I really like my iPhone

  • R Bonwell parker

    I take these things with a grain of salt. I’ve compared a handful of polls over the years and what I’ve determined (non-scientifically) is that about 26% of people will say whatever b.s. is most sensational or exciting because it feels good saying it. They don’t actually THINK they’re telling the truth; they couldn’t care less whether something they say is true or not. Subtract those people out and you have a totally non-alarming 8% of people who may actually believe there’s some truth to the assertion.

  • guest

    I’m not surprised so many young people think the world’s going to end in their lifetime when you consider global warming, the spread of antibiotic resistence, the decline of bees and many other animal species and the continued presence of nuclear weapons in the hands of narcassistic psychopaths. I’m pretty sure we’re all doomed too. Doomed! Doooooooomed!
    That’s not even mentioning the supervolcano in Yellowstone…

  • rustygh

    The one that kills me is women using the Bible. Talk about some dumb “B’s”

  • americanwoman343

    I’d love to know what universe of respondents they used.

  • BeaveVillage

    The book of Isaiah does tell us that Damascus will be destroyed. For the first time in a several thousand years, the City of Damascus is in the line of sight of not only the United States of America, but her allies, and likely Russia & China as well, if a full blown conflict breaks out–and believe me, it can.

    Wars & Rumors of Wars. Israel reborn as a nation, the ONLY nation in the world to be reborn after being out of existence for over 1,900 years, as prophesied.

    The Rapture of the Church is imminent, and shortly after the global leader will be revealed–the one who according to his deception ‘saved the world from the Christians.’ 7 years of hell will follow.

    • Nemo

      War and rumors of war have always been around. Always. And fifty years from now, the Christian fundamentalists will still be saying the end is nigh.

  • http://quinesqueue.blogspot.com/ Q. Quine

    Every generation has a portion of people who are susceptible to some End Times nonsense. There’s no reason to expect this to change because, in the words of a famous scam promoter, there’s one born every minute.

  • Guest

    The various Eschatologies/”end times theologies” pose a major threat to the survival and well-being of humanity, our ecosystem and our cohabitant species.

    It leads many “believers” to be short-sighted and not care as much as they should about our environment and the creatures who inhabit it. For example, anthropogenic global warming denial is almost exclusively religion based.

    There are hundreds of millions of people who think it’s a “good thing” when the minute hand ticks closer to midnight on the “dooms day clock”.
    When you believe wars, human suffering, and economic and environmental destruction is a sign of the return/coming of a prophet, Imam, god, etc. — who will restore order, peace, and justice — what incentive do you have to prevent it?
    Little to none.

    In fact, many people believe suffering, death and destruction “leads to a good thing” – such as “god’s return” – so they have a “positive” incentive to manifest wars, suffering and destruction. They are literally trying to “force the return” of their god, prophet, Imam, etc..One place this is evident is in the American Israeli political lobby and the ongoing violence between Jews, Muslims and Christians – in Israel, Palestine and throughout the middle east and the world.

    Many people support multiple sides of the centuries-long conflict in attempt to further inflame it and “bring about” their particular version of “Armageddon.”
    The “moderates” who don’t ascribe to this, provide cover, legitimacy and financial backing to those who do.

    Wars, suffering, death and destruction, due to billions of people who replace empathy and evidence-based critical thought with ignorance, mythology and superstition. They are ruining the planet and the future, for everyone.

    If there ever is an “Armageddon”, it will likely be caused by religious zealots and their self-fulfilling “prophecies.”

    If this does happen, based on previous experience with such “predictions” and massively destructive “natural” and “human caused” events (like the long list of plagues and genocides), it is highly unlikely that any god(s), prophet(s) and/or Imam(s) will return to “save the day.” While we can be almost certain that life on earth will go on in some capacity, we can be certain such (an) event(s) will negatively impact humanity for many generations to come – and that is the understatement of the century.

    I just wonder how much destruction of our environment and how many nuclear, chemical and/or biological genocides we will have to face before humanity grows up and stops using ignorance, superstition and mythology to inform its actions and inactions.

    Will humanity, our ecosystem and our cohabitant species survive our religious zealots? At this rate, unless humanity rids itself of the thought plague called religion – and fast – I am not so sure.

  • Ryan Burkhart

    The various Eschatologies/”end times theologies” pose a major threat to the survival and well-being of humanity, our ecosystem and our cohabitant species.

    It leads many “believers” to be short-sighted and not care as much as they should about our environment and the creatures who inhabit it. For example, anthropogenic global warming denial is almost exclusively religion based.

    There are hundreds of millions of people who think it’s a “good thing” when the minute hand ticks closer to midnight on the “dooms day clock”.

    When you believe wars, human suffering, and economic and environmental destruction is a sign of the return/coming of a prophet, Imam, god, etc. — who will “restore order, peace, and justice” — what incentive do you have to prevent it?

    Little to none.

    In fact, since many people believe suffering, death and destruction “leads to a good thing” – such as “god’s return” – they have a “positive” incentive to manifest wars, suffering and destruction…

    They are literally trying to “force the return” of their god, prophet, Imam, etc.. One place this is evident is in the American Israeli political lobby and the ongoing violence between Jews, Muslims and Christians – in Israel, Palestine and throughout the middle east and the world.

    Many people support multiple sides of the centuries-long conflict in attempt to further inflame it and “bring about” their particular version of “Armageddon.”

    The “moderates” who don’t ascribe to this, provide cover, legitimacy and financial backing to those who do.

    Wars, suffering, death and destruction, due to billions of people who replace empathy and evidence-based critical thought with ignorance, mythology and superstition. They are ruining the planet and the future, for everyone.

    If there ever is an “Armageddon”, it will likely be caused by religious zealots and their self-fulfilling “prophecies.”

    If this does happen, based on previous experience with such “predictions” and massively destructive “natural” and “human caused” events (like the long list of plagues and genocides), it is highly unlikely that any god(s), prophet(s) and/or Imam(s) will return to “save the day.”

    While we can be almost certain that life on earth will go on in some capacity, we can be certain such (an) event(s) will negatively impact humanity for many generations to come – and that is the understatement of the century.

    I just wonder how much destruction of our environment and how many nuclear, chemical and/or biological genocides we will have to face before humanity grows up and stops using ignorance, superstition and mythology to inform its actions and inaction’s.

    Will humanity, our ecosystem and our cohabitant species survive our religious zealots? At this rate, unless humanity rids itself of the thought plague called religion – and fast – I am not so sure.

    We can’t be certain that a world without religion will ever be peaceful; but we can be certain that a world with religion will never be peaceful.

    ~@Ryan~

  • Deep Thought

    I hope the Self Fulfilling Prophecy is not invoked by our christian friends across the pond…

  • Kringsat

    Credible pollsters have no agenda, and they make their methodologies public and transparent. This “research” outfit, which describes itself as a “ministry,” doesn’t.

    The poll numbers have no credibility with me, nor does your reporting of them as meaningful. Could you find some other fish in the barrel to shoot? They’re easy enough to find.

  • Aaron

    Yeah, it’s pretty deeply embarrassing, but I should point out that thinking the world will end in our lifetime isn’t necessarily biblically related. Most of those milennials probably think we’ll destroy ourselves and the world along with us.

    That’s a whole other ballgame compared to believing in the biblical crud.

    Frankly though, one way or another, believers will make their own end times soon enough. Sure, it won’t be supernatural, but it’ll be just as devastating. As time goes by, their influence shrinks faster than their numbers, and that effect will only serve to compress them into ever tighter bundles of self-reinforcing ignorance.

    When they reach a critical threshold, they’ll implode, and take most of civilization with them. It’s inevitable.

  • exgeronimo

    Hold on a second, what is the accuracy of this “Lifeway Research” Christian polling group? It seems to me that they only survey people that are already Christians. In fact, the 32% number seems to refer to only “evangelical, born-again, fundamentalist Christians.” Also, the poll only asked people on the east coast, the most religious part of the country. Hardly a fair representation of Americans.

  • Rhett J D.

    The education in this country is at an all time low what do you expect people to think or believe in? Its a sad fact and its not just the states but the UK is slowly slipping into this dipshit way of thinking.

  • No Voodoo please

    Prior to King James’ commissioning of the English Bible, the Rapture as it is now known, did not exist. One of the men tasked with the translation / Edit of the Latin Bible was approached by a member of his parish, a woman who’s name was Macdonald. She gave him a vivid account of a dream she had. This story is now known as the Rapture. This is rather like the obsession with the “Mark of the Beast” where the delusionals have, on so many occasions, pointed out the 666 connection with people, companies, computers etc. This is interesting because the original texts gave the number as 616 and 666 was a mistranslation that happened some time later.

  • MauricioMartínez

    And the gringos calling themselves “americans”… USA citizens is what they are.

  • Dr Brown

    Proof. One third of Americans need urgent psychiatric help

  • Guest

    Americans always think something is going to lead to end times we’re a bunch of idiots for the most part. :/

  • whiskeytangofox

    I wonder how these results would vary if it had been a double blind anonymous questionnaire rather than a phone poll. I have found that for many religious folk, answers may vary depending on how many other religious folk are in the room at the time.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      I’m not sure how you’d do ‘double blind’ on a survey.

  • Dave Ferguson

    As an American who’s an atheist, I apologize for us. Jeez…. can’t ppl just wake the fuck up

  • Yerp Gladstone

    I’d like to know how and where these stats are taken… No one I have ever known, or now know, has ever responded to a survey such as this. Much less to answer that armageddon is, or is not, on it’s way. No, I think any “normal” person who is approached by someone on the street with a clipboard has the immediate tendency to turn the other way and not make eye contact. Add to that a Jesus freak with a clipboard asking about “end times” and you’ll probably find that 99% of actual, REAL, normal folks quicken their pace to find the nearest Starbucks. Which leaves the possible respondents to these bizarre questionnaires either homeless panhandlers or the congregations of churchy people gathered around that goofy fuck yelling his brains out at the bus stop. YOU know who I’m talking about…

  • Saape

    Thank god you guys controll the largest military complex the world have ever seen. Just imagen if world domination wasn`t the burden of the bright minds of america. Where would we be if american values were to be kept in america.

  • Karen Mitchell

    “Most premillennial dispensationalists believe Christians will instantly disappear from the earth…..” I wish!

  • Scott Plumer

    As face-palming as this is, it seems to fall into the 25 percent “crazification” factor, where 25 percent of people polled will always believe something crazy.

  • Paul Faithless

    i will send an aid package for all my american friends come the solstice, because, lets face it! those type of thoughts belong in the dark ages and thought my people who need educational material and food, just incase, the human sacrifice didnt help the harvest. Keep Strong my Atheist friends. :-)

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Make sure to include porn, please!

      • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

        Seconded! And please send a diverse selection…

      • paul faithless

        I will have Chasey Laine delivery it personally. lol

  • scottindallas

    fall equinox, not Summer solstice

  • Roland W. Bailey

    Dear 32%,

    It’s 2013, you can stop believing in fairy stories now.

    Love,
    Roland

  • Nogui

    wouldn’t it be rad if the 4 horsemen were riding unicorns?

    • v_volker

      Damnit i keep saying it! Check my comment history. It’s the unicorns, man!

  • Oaky

    proof that at least 25% of Americans are retarded

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      Could you pick a slur that hasn’t also been used on a different group of people who most certainly don’t deserve to be maligned?

      There are people with Down Syndrome would prefer to not be lumped in with the group you’re currently talking about.

  • John Blaise Lent

    Now wait a gosh darn second. Is it so unreasonable to think the world will end by 2100 AD? We have a crazy amount of environmental problems that could really cause the kind of food chain catastrophe that could more or less end human life on the planet. Fukashima and other energy related disasters, coupled with the climate change issues could leave us in world with basically nothing to eat… except each other. And it could happen very fast.

  • Domush

    It’s about time for other countries to begin offering us non-deluded Americans asylum. Sweden, Germany, Iceland, are you listening?

    • Bruce Campbell

      As an Aussie, we’re still trying to get rid of our nuts to the US. We worked hard to get rid of Ken Ham and there are still a few like him left.

  • ufo42

    Next time you see a fundie on the street, pretend you don’t see him. Maybe they’ll believe they’ve been raptured and leave us alone! :)

  • No Voodoo please

    You know one could make a small fortune printing stickers / decals ( I’m not sure what they are called over there) that say -” Gone for seven years. Do not cut off the electricity or water or you will be in deep shit when The Boss arrives. Oh and please feed the dog” The delusionals could put these on their post-boxes.

  • Sean

    Who are you to judge people for their beliefs… They are entitled to believe it’s true, just as much as you are entitled to think it’s bullshit. Asshole.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      Even if what they believe is that children who aren’t appropriately covered should have feces thrown at them? Or that women who are raped have dishonored their family and should be killed?

      Yea, I judge people for their beliefs when their beliefs warrant it.

    • Bruce Campbell

      People can believe in whatever fairy stories they want personally. The moment those beliefs influence their decisions & impacts the outside world & others, then we do have every right.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Who are you to judge people for believing that vaccinations cause autism, and who based on that belief, get theirs and other peoples’ children killed. Dim-witted asshole.

    • No Voodoo please

      But it’s bullshit, Sean, so your question is ridiculous and isn’t really a question but rather a statement. You have just said that everyone is an asshole.

  • Shaun Neil

    3 out of 4 could’t point to Syria on a map!

    • Bruce Campbell

      Thats why we have smart bombs.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      I’m honestly surprised that 1 in 4 could.

  • http://beunfallen.wordpress.com/ Brian Lucas

    What part of this article falls under the category/author title “friendly atheist”? A bunch of sensationalist slamming of Christians who claim to actually believe the book they list as their Holy Bible. The majority of claims in this article rely upon logical fallacies and connections to crazy things, and/or misrepresentations of the facts. Since atheists claim to rely on logic for their views, it would seem prudent to use valid logic in making their points…

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      And yet magically, like every other person who has no idea what the blog title refers to and who makes those exact same claims, you’ll produce no evidence of these supposed fallacies and misrepresentations. Since Christians claim to rely on truth for their claims…

      • http://beunfallen.wordpress.com/ Brian Lucas

        You really don’t see any of it?

        “A third of Americans buy into that bullshit”-insulting and sensationalistic. With no claim as to why it’s b.s…

        “If you looked at the demographics of those results, the stereotypes were in full force: Poor people and Southerners were far more likely to believe this nonsense than rich people and Northerners” – this is a bit of ad hominem, attacking the people. Or poisoning the well: writing off their claims based on an assumption that people with less money or from a certain geographic location can’t have valid opinions or beliefs.

        “I’m so embarrassed for mankind right now…” – these kind of statements again attack and write off the people who say them as idiots. But still no explanation is given for thinking there is a problem with these statements.

        All of the statements are emotionally charged, and the closest thing to an actual presentation of evidence for claiming any of this to be wrong is the picture of the 5/21/2012 guy. Who is widely regarded as a lunatic, again, tearing down the opinions of all the millennials polled by a weak (straw man) association of the beliefs. Believing the world might end in your lifetime is not equivalent to a guy who started a cult and convinced people to sell everything they had…

        • C.L. Honeycutt

          “A third of Americans buy into that bullshit”-insulting and sensationalistic. With no claim as to why it’s b.s…

          It’s not his or anyone else’s job to explain every little detail at length every time they make a statement. This is a classic time-wasting demand, a troll’s move.

          If you aren’t aware of why it’s bullshit, then ASK. Or, hey, Google.

          this is a bit of ad hominem, attacking the people. Or poisoning the well: writing off their claims based on an assumption that people with less money or from a certain geographic location can’t have valid opinions or beliefs.

          See above. It’s isn’t an ad hominem to criticize a belief well-known to be fallacious. YOU are demanding that whenever a Flat-Earth belief is mocked, one is required to explain why it is wrong.

          I’m a Southerner, and I see this for exactly what it is, because I bothered to familiarize myself with the context of the overall discussions: an indictment of the damage that has been done to education all over the country, primarily in the South/i>, by ignorant religious thinking.

          You’re misusing the term “poisoning the well” as well as the more general fallacy. At no point does he imply that being Southern makes one wrong. Having a bad education makes one more likely to be wrong. I don’t find it at all sincere to claim that describing where education in the States is most lacking is somehow a personal attack.

          “I’m so embarrassed for mankind right now…” – these kind of statements again attack and write off the people who say them as idiots.

          See the “flat-earth” response above, and then please consider why you’re arguing that Flat-Earth beliefs require deference.

          But still no explanation is given for thinking there is a problem with these statements.

          See my first response above.

          All of the statements are emotionally charged

          You imply here that you have a problem with people who are upset and say so when they see other people led into foolishness.

          the closest thing to an actual presentation of evidence for claiming any of this to be wrong is the picture of the 5/21/2012 guy

          There’s no significant difference between the beliefs of that guy and the devout Christians who disparage him. Christians who criticize him are demonstrating that they can spot bullshit without having it laid out, as long as they don’t get defensive about their beliefs.

          And who are you to call him names without an explanation of precisely why?

          Believing the world might end in your lifetime…

          You’re misrepresenting the issue. Straw manning it, actually. Ironic.

          …is not equivalent to a guy who started a cult and convinced people to sell everything they had…

          Bad comparison, anyway. A cult leader is not analogous to one-third of the populace in any way other than that they’re all human.

          Those people who sold everything they had? They actually believed their religion, as opposed to the vast majority of fundamentalists who use it as a convenient tool for expressing their prejudices from a position of safety, and who cry out about “civility” and “morals” when held accountable for the statements for which they don’t want to be held responsible.

  • CoNZervative

    This is interesting, from Isaiah 17…1 A prophecy against Damascus:
    “See, Damascus will no longer be a city
    but will become a heap of ruins.
    2 The cities of Aroer will be deserted
    and left to flocks, which will lie down,
    with no one to make them afraid.
    3 The fortified city will disappear from Ephraim,
    and royal power from Damascus;
    the remnant of Aram will be
    like the glory of the Israelites,”
    declares the Lord Almighty.

    • RobMcCune

      Yeah, that will teach those Syrian Muslims to worship Ashera:

      In that day people will look to their Maker and turn their eyes to the Holy One of Israel.
      8 They will not look to the altars,
      the work of their hands,
      and they will have no regard for the Asherah poles
      and the incense altars their fingers have made.

      Isaiah 17:7-8

  • aussie

    how does anyone live on under 25k a year?

  • Bruce Campbell

    Sorry about how awash you are with believers. Still, take a moment for those of us in other countries. American have a view on exceptionalism,a lot of world destroying weapons and literalist believers with influence on their use. We laugh, but nervously.

  • Becky

    I don’t believe it is part of the “end times.” Signed, a genuine Christian.

  • Jason Potter

    Hemant, I usually enjoy reading your blog. This one was a little hard to swallow though. I wonder where these polling numbers came from. It looks like they polled 1001 Christians. The LifeWay Research logo has a big ‘ol cross on it.

    Kind of a sensationalist piece buddy. You’re better than this.

  • Rob Green

    Long time ago someone said “War is just God’s way of teaching Americans Geography”…kind of off topic but there is a pattern emerging ;) sorry guys and gals can’t afford to send you presents, but, to quote one of their looney tunes, “fight the good fight”, lol, education is the only answer!

  • John

    Wow. Just…wow. Too bad that Revelation is more a history told in an allegorical style of the church’s early struggle against Rome than anything else, and that the “rapture” as preached in many churches was a piecemeal construction founded by John Nelson near two centuries ago, proving once again that you can prove anything you want if you just pick and choose the right words and ignore the rest.

  • bellend

    Pigs will also learn to fly soon.oink oink

  • bellend

    Can i temporarily go over to the jesus camp for a breif while from the buddhist camp. Will the man himslef see my sinful manipulation and leave me to battle it out on earth?

  • Guest

    These data are, in fact,part od the end of times…

  • Douglas

    These data are, indeed, part of the end of times..

  • Rob Carlson

    Live today and if you really trust in God…Stop the Bullshit and stop putting it on other people.

  • Azrael

    “COME BACK, COME BACK, TO MORDOR WE WILL TAKE YOU!”

  • bigleaf

    I wouldn’t read too much into the 18-29 year old group thinking that the world will end in their lifetimes. They look around and see limping, wrinkly old farts like me and they just KNOW that they can’t possibly live long enough for THAT to happen to happen to them. Personally, I never thought I’d live to see ME like this!

  • David

    enjoy the Melancholy Ramblers (Austin Texas) satire:http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QIH_JuYcuZw

  • Jared

    Those people may believe in what they want to – but PLEASE avoid them to gain power because they might decide to help their God and speed up that Armageddon thing…

  • ExpressMyself

    2 Peter 3:3–4

    3 Knowing this first, that there shall come sin the last days scoffers,
    walking after their own lusts, 4 And saying, Where is the promise of
    his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as
    they were from the beginning of the creation.


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