America-Hating Christian Family Who Had To Be Rescued At Sea Will Set Sail Again

Remember the Gastonguays? This past May, 26-year-old Hannah, her 30-year-old husband Sean, his father Mike, and the couple’s daughters, 3-year-old Ardith and 8-month-old Rahab, planned to sail to Kiribati, a tiny island nation, population 100,000, some 1,300 miles south of Hawaii. They didn’t want to live in the increasingly godless United States anymore due to “abortion, homosexuality [and] the state-controlled church.”

The five set sail for their exotic destination but were later found to have “zero knowledge and experience in navigation.” Inevitably, they suffered one mishap after another. With their boat badly battered after a string of Pacific squalls and storms plus a collision with a Canadian cargo ship, the family ran out of supplies but managed to survive on some juice, honey, and what fish they could catch. Then the deck started separating from the hull, and the boat filled with water constantly. After 91 days of half-sailing, half-drifting, a helicopter had to airlift them to safety.

Commented Hannah afterwards:

“We were in the thick of it, but we prayed. Being out on that boat, I just knew I was going to see some miracles.”

One measure of how ill-prepared they were is evidenced by this recent lament from Sean Gastonguay (pictured below, with Ardith):

“There’s just no way I can morally pay an income tax. You can’t get work without paying the income tax. I want to go some place where I’m free to work.”

Sean and Ardith Gastonguay (Associated Press)

Of course, like almost all countries, Kiribiati actually has an income tax, of as much as 35%.

No matter. That little tidbit is unlikely to persuade the reality-immune Christian family, who now say they will soon embark on a new attempt (apparently, God didn’t demonstrate his disapproval clearly enough the first time).

Sean Gastonguay told the “TruNews with Rick Wiles” radio show yesterday that he and his family are going to try the trip again on a “bigger boat with a year’s worth of supplies, so it doesn’t matter what happens.”

The Christian dad also complained about all the “hoops you gotta jump through just to start a church, food bank or to help your neighbor,” but didn’t state exactly what those “hoops” were.

Gastonguay also said he believes the U.S. government should be set up according to “Old Testament law” (which would require the stoning of gays and disobedient children).

Despite his deep aversion to the U.S. government in its current form, at the end of his adrift-at-sea episode, the all-wet fundamentalist borrowed $10,000 from the State Department to get himself and his family back home to Arizona.

My money’s on that bill doubling in size after rescue number two.

On that note, let’s hope the children stay safe. The adults? They’re old enough to be responsible for their own actions.

(Image via New York Daily News)

About Terry Firma

Terry Firma, though born and Journalism-school-educated in Europe, has lived in the U.S. for the past 20-odd years. Stateside, his feature articles have been published in the New York Times, Reason, Rolling Stone, Playboy, and Wired. Terry is the founder of Moral Compass, a now dormant site that poked fun at the delusional claim by people of faith that a belief in God equips them with superior moral standards. He joined Friendly Atheist in 2013.


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