Christians Know How to Twerk It

As one person on Twitter joked, faith without twerks is dead.

(via Christian Nightmares)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • momtarkle

    This offends my soul at the deepest level of my religulosity. Hemant, you’re going to Hell for posting this!

  • JohnnieCanuck

    No one is going to reach the kingdom of heaven since there is no heaven. Therefore all worshippers are false worshippers, including those deluded enough to think they are the only ones true enough get to heaven.

    I assume this is an old image that co-incidentally used the acronym?

    • Kodie

      Then why do the words fit the acronym so awkwardly? Because Christians.

    • momtarkle

      In your first paragraph, aren’t you sort of preaching to the choir?

    • Carmelita Spats

      Glad you asked and thank you for playing! Yes, there is a God. He’s a Trinitarian-incarnational-atoning-resurrecting-ascending-soon-to-be-returning-God who impregnated a horny teenager with Himself so as to sacrifice Himself to Himself so that premarital sex can be forgiven. Like “Cher” and “Madonna”, He once went by “Yahweh” and had a reputation for being a racist, genocidal, misogynistic, incorrigible drunk with an irascible temper and an appetite for destruction. Just ask the Amalekites.Yahweh was drunk with blood until he fathered Himself as a shiftless virgin carpenter who lived with his mom and became a single dad to Himself from whence he mellowed out greatly. You can find Him stuck in a transubstantiated wafer in any Catholic church and Catholics in good standing are free to swallow, not chew, his body and drink his blood in an act of ritualistic cannibalism. Yes Virginia, there is a God and rascal Yahweh be his name. Of course, Joseph Smith changed the narrative somewhat in Book III of the hilariously gut busting series but you know what they say about God’s editors, translators, copyists, scribes and scribblers with their endless notes and errata. I feel a victory coming on…Yes, Jesus!

      • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

        This poster is a known and exceedingly verbose Jehova’s Witless TROLL.

        • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

          Nope, just tired of wading through meaningless walls of text that all boil down to “I’m superior because GAWD”. The fact that you use big words and (badly translated) Latin has no bearing on that.

          • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

            One question. Is it moral for a Christian to lie or deliberately distort the facts to convert others?

            • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

              Then you might want to stop lying and distorting the facts. You might also want to stop being a condescending pretentious windbag.

              • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

                Every word you post is a lie.

                • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

                  I wouldn’t trust you if you told me that water is wet.

        • C.L. Honeycutt

          Man, what a narcissistic child your mother raised.

          Such a lovely job of witnessing. Jesus would be proud.

          • C.L. Honeycutt

            People who talk about how funny they are always turn out to be humorblind narcissists, Michael Scott.

            Jesus probably doesn’t care much about the first, but the second…

      • Kodie
      • C.L. Honeycutt

        First let me congratulate you on avoiding that minefield I laid out for you. Well done!

        Thanks for admitting that you’re trolling and not actually interested in learning anything.

        • 3lemenope

          I’m all ears!

          No, you aren’t.

      • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

        Psalm 137:9

        • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

          Argumentum assertio. Prove it.

          • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

            Context is king.

            7 Remember, Lord, what the Edomites did
            on the day Jerusalem fell.
            “Tear it down,” they cried,
            “tear it down to its foundations!”
            8 Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction,
            happy is the one who repays you
            according to what you have done to us.
            9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants
            and dashes them against the rocks.

            It means those do to others as you want done to you.

            “happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us.”

            Prescriptive not descriptive.

            • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

              When did I say that?

              • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

                No, but god sure thought that dashing their baby’s heads against rocks would make them happy.

                • http://www.atheismandthecity.com/ The Thinker

                  Perhaps because I won’t fall for your fallacious antics and arguments. And because I’m right.

                • JohnnieCanuck

                  And here I was sure that you find it easy to lie, even if not very convincingly.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    Oh, good lord, is there nothing they won’t take and get all twisty with “cutesy” acronyms and Christian-specific branding/language?!

    • JT Rager

      Dare I say it:

      IS NOTHING SACRED?

      • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

        Well… yeah, that. I’m amused and confused at this… thing they do, just so they can turn (literally!) everything into propaganda. I just don’t get it.

      • invivoMark

        Dare I answer:

        NOPE!

        But the juvenile side of me wants to make up silly Christian acronyms for vulgar words now.

    • Eliot Parulidae

      To be fair, I have seen a “Science: Think Fresh” (Subway logo parody) t-shirt on an atheist site. But that’s not quite as bad as this:

      • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

        Heh, I’m the type who would wear something like “Zombies — eat locals!”

      • Kodie

        I think the lesson here is Christians make lame puns and want to be cool so badly part of the mainstream. It’s weird because nobody is actually walking around wearing a Mountain Dew t-shirt. If you have to say you have swag on your t-shirt, you don’t have it!

        Meanwhile, some people can’t help but latch onto a meme or advertising slogan regardless if it is clever or not, everyone else included. Remember variations on “got milk?” Sometimes they can be very cleverly utilized, and sometimes the force it and miss the mark. You have to admit.

  • duke_of_omnium

    You were asking how you’d know your religion was harmful … cheesy t-shirts is a great indicator.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw/ m6wg4bxw

    Faith unites Christ’s kingdom. Salvation heals inherited transgressions. Naughty infidels get God’s eternal retribution!

    Dare they?

  • Kodie

    … Ass first!

    • Kevin_Of_Bangor

      Go on…

      • Kodie

        Just the logical completion of their slogan.

  • Tainda

    My dad was twerking the other day. I left the room

    • Kodie

      ….

      A mild reaction.

      • Tainda

        To say the very least

    • momtarkle

      Video, please?

      • Tainda

        You want video with me making vomit sounds in the background?
        What has been seen cannot be unseen! Also keep in mind, my dad is 70 lol

        • momtarkle

          You say “my dad is 70″ like that’s a bad thing.

          • Tainda

            70 and twerking do not go hand in hand

  • sam

    It reminds me of when an animal urinates on a tree that has been recently urinated upon by another animal. Territorial pissings, shit stacked upon shit. Very sophisticated…

    • momtarkle

      Sick!

  • Michaela Samuels

    christians sure do love to “reclaim” secular phrases. and logos. and songs. and clothes. and schools. and governments.

  • katiehippie

    I went to a Lutheran Women’s Missionary League convention once and, I kid you not, they had a little dance they did to the tune of YMCA, substituting the letters LWML. Lamest thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Hat Stealer

    Fuckers:

    Faithful
    Under
    Christian
    Koncepts
    Especially
    Repulsive
    Shirts

    There you go Christians. Feel free to stick that on a shirt if you want.


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