This French Commercial Features Two Catholic Priests in Bed About to Get It On

Philippe Geluck is a Belgian cartoonist best known for his comic strip “Le Chat.” His latest collection, La Bible selon Le Chat, comes in two volumes, but it may be the promotional commercial that gets the most attention… that is, if Bill Donohue of the Catholic League ever sees it.

Reader Andrew helpfully translated that commercial on his website (and I’m adapting it below):

Announcer: This is what it was like before.

Priest 2: No, tonight, I’m reading the Bible.

Priest 1: No, you read it yesterday.

Priest 2: I didn’t read it yesterday. I read it for an hour while I couldn’t sleep. That doesn’t count.

Priest 1: Give me that Bible, God damn it!

Priest 2: [*Gasps*] Good one.

Priest 1: See what you made me say?

Priest 2: But still, you’re the one who said it.

Priest 1: Meanie!

Priest 2: Jerk!

[They fight... and the Bible rips in two]

Announcer: Today, the life of these priests has changed: In The Bible According to the Cat, which [artist] Philippe Geluck and God have cleverly divided into two volumes, no more arguments. Harmony has again settled upon the couple.

Priest 2: I’ve finished this one. Do you want it?

Priest 1: With pleasure, my angel.

Priest 2: Here it is, sweetie.

Priest 1: What if… we read it tomorrow?

Priest 2: What a great idea!

[They move in close to embrace...]

Announcer: The Bible According to the Cat. The Bible for everyone.

In America, we flip out over a Cheerios commercial featuring a biracial couple. But so far, the commercial for a cartoonist featuring two gay priests about to get it on seems to be a hit — not even a single downvote on YouTube as of this writing.

Let’s see the guy who created “Garfield” try to pull that off.

(via Epsilon Clue)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

    Il est étrange que vous ne jamais voir Joe Klein aidant gay prêtres avec leur Bible.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Funny how he wasn’t around to translate that for me. Bouchez-vous, Joe Klein.

      • Glasofruix

        You just told Joe Klein to….plug himself?

        • arensb

          You’d prefer “ferme ton trou à tarte”?

          • Glasofruix

            I do believe he meant our friend Joe to move, not to stfu (although not a bad alternative).

            • arensb

              Oh. My mistake. I thought he was telling Joe to shut up.

              • C.L. Honeycutt

                It’s too demanding to request that he both shut up and have his orifices unpleasantly plugged at the same time. The latter will naturally lead to the former.

        • C.L. Honeycutt

          That completely works, but I misspoke. I meant “baiser”, which is technically “to kiss”… but is much more vulgar idiomatically.

          • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

            Baiser only means “kiss” when it takes a direct object. e.g. “baiser la main” Otherwise it means to F***.

            • C.L. Honeycutt

              I probably also used the wrong noun form, but it’s been a while. But yeah, fuck you, Joe Klein, Fuck you right in your everything, but in French because it sounds classier.

              I’d mangle Latin instead, but Joseph has a monopoly there.

              • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

                Fuck him anywhere that he wouldn’t like it. You have to be careful with that term as an insult. Some people like being fucked.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  If he enjoyed it, he wouldn’t have snuck back online over at Time and disabled comments. :P

          • Glasofruix

            In this case “va te faire enculer” basically “fuck you” works better.
            I speak french btw.

            • C.L. Honeycutt

              Why thank you! I tried to learn, but just try finding a pre-Skype conversational partner in rural/suburban North Carolina…

    • AdzyBoy

      *que vous ne voyiez jamais Joe Klein
      *des prêtres gays

      • Glasofruix

        *aider, if you have to correct everything :p

        • AdzyBoy

          I didn’t want to hog them all.

      • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

        Merci. My two years of high school French were so long ago we used quills to write our papers.

    • Matt D

      Merci à google traducteur, je comprends!

  • joey_in_NC

    Hemant, what exactly is your point of this blog post?

    • baal

      Hey look, gay tolerance! I see that it’s given you a bit of a snit Joey.

      • joey_in_NC

        Seriously, though. I’m curious about the point Hemant is attempting to get across. Especially regarding this snippet…

        In America, we flip out over a Cheerios commercial featuring a biracial couple. But so far, the commercial for a cartoonist featuring two gay priests about to get it on seems to be a hit — not even a single downvote on YouTube as of this writing.

        I’m guessing he things that America “flipping out” over a biracial couple in a commercial is a bad thing. So does he think that no one “flipping out” over this anti-Catholic commercial is a good thing? If there was a similar backlash, would that be a bad thing?

        • http://nomadwarriormonk.blogspot.com/ Cyrus Palmer

          More asinine questions from joey, surprise surprise.

        • allein

          He’s highlighting a difference between the two cultures. Is it really that confusing?

          • joey_in_NC

            If that is all, then meh.

            • allein

              ok..

        • baal

          Tolerance of interracial and gay couples is a good thing. Being hypersensitive and calling the French commercial anti-Catholic is on you. I don’t see how having gay priests is anti-catholic other than the implied breach of their vow of chastity.

        • Kodie

          I guess we have to draw you a diagram.

          The Cheerios commercial was not a joke aimed at biracial couples. The people who flipped out were racists. And also Americans. As in, “how dare they portray a family where the mother is white and the father is black, and they have an evident biracial child?” Yeah, really, how dare Cheerios portray a realistic family in an ad?

          The priests in bed together was a joke aimed at Catholics. Because Catholics are ridiculous. But apparently, where this ad was shown, in France, people didn’t get upset. There are Catholics in France, and either they have a sense of humor, or they’ve learned not to mind a jab or two. Only in America (EDIT: and theocratic Middle Eastern countries) are you religious types hyper-sensitive about irreverent humor. As in, we have no obligation to revere your beliefs – in Europe, apparently, they know that. When you’re wrong, a good satire can make the point well. Well, of course, you don’t get the joke, but it’s not for you to laugh at.

          I guess what it is is another opportunity for you to bitch about how mean atheists are. Are we wrong though? You can’t make a joke about how wrong we are, one, because Christians suck at humor. Exhibit A: joey_in_NC. You aren’t in on this joke because you believe your religion sincerely and find nothing funny about it, but we do. You have an imaginary friend and all the goofy rules you follow because you obey whatever he tells you. Imaginary. Adults believing in fairy tales is a depressing horror at times, so we have to get a little fun here and there.

    • Matt D

      Considering the Catholic churches stances, this appears to be a satire, and it’s amusing.

    • flakingnapstich

      To discuss an amusing commercial perhaps?

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      To make humorblind godbots tear the cushions out of their office chairs with their buttocks.

    • C Peterson

      As part of exploring changing cultural attitudes towards religion?

    • EdmondWherever

      To thwart your plans for an efficient, eventless day?

    • Highlander

      To simultaneously piss you off while entertaining the rest of us.

      • joey_in_NC

        Nah, I’m not pissed off. This simply confirms what I’ve already known. That it is cool to be anti-Catholic.

        • Matt D

          Ok, so tell us which part of his post is “anti-Catholic”.

          • joey_in_NC

            The commercial is anti-Catholic, duh.

            • Matt D

              No, which part of Hemants post is anti catholic, not which part of the video is.

              Duh.

              • baal

                Hemant was anti-catholic for not denouncing the anti-catholicness of the commercial loudly enough (or at all). It’s a purity thing where neutral comments aren’t allowed.

              • islandbrewer

                Hemant is anti-Catholic for not throwing a spittle-flecked hissy fit about how horrible the video is suggest that two priests might be gay! Obviously, if you find the above funny, you’re a vicious evil anti-Catholic bigot who murders babies and hates humanity.

                Edit: Doh! Didn’t see you post there, already, Baal.

            • Glasofruix

              Philippe Geluck makes fun of catholics, it’s not his first time, nor his last.

            • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

              Yes, because while everyone else is fair game for comedians and satirists, if you make fun of the kidfuckers you are a bigot. LOL

            • Fentwin

              Fuck the Pope and the whole RCC.
              Now, thats anti-catholic.

            • Kodie

              So?

        • steve

          No Joey, it’s not “cool” to be anti-catholic, it’s just being a decent human being to condemn their disgusting moral system.

        • C.L. Honeycutt

          Sorry, you already demonstrated your butthurt. Why do you pudbunglers always think your words have no meaning?

          • Tainda

            “pudbunglers” Love it!

    • JET

      There was a pool to see who would show up first…

      • islandbrewer

        Hell, I was betting on Emmet.

        • Anna

          Nah, I thought it would be SJH.

          • Glasofruix

            Damn’, i bet on Keyra with her usual “no true christian” stuff.

            • http://nomadwarriormonk.blogspot.com/ Cyrus Palmer

              Rwlawoffice was my horse!

              • Glasofruix

                Nah, Robert’s subjects of choice are posts that debate womens reproductive rights.

                • Anna

                  You underestimate Robert. He’ll find a way to bring up abortion even if the post has nothing to do with reproductive rights!

            • C.L. Honeycutt

              I think she only shows up in the mornings, though the range there is large. That’s why I always miss her. Well, I wouldn’t say I miss her, Bob…

        • Matt D

          How about Kelemi?

          • islandbrewer

            Kelemi the “respectful atheist”? Oooh, that would have been a good one, didn’t think of him.

        • baal

          I had JOP at long odds for the pay off.

    • The Other Weirdo

      To show us true love. We are only atheists, after all, incapable of love or pity, or even basic cookery–unless it’s babies–and the post was to lead us to true love by example.

    • Tainda

      To turn me on

      • baal

        I like nun-porn. It’s Blasphelicoius.

        • Tainda

          Just like watching penguins mate!

    • Mario Strada

      Besides the entertainment value? I would guess to show the difference in attitudes between the USA and Europe?
      But you would know that if you actually read (and understood) the post.

      • joey_in_NC

        The greater amount of anti-Catholicism in Europe than America is obvious. I was wondering if he had an opinion regarding anti-Catholicism, because from the nature of the post it seems like he supports it.

        • Matt D

          And which part of Hemants post makes it “seem like he supports” anti-Catholicism?

          • joey_in_NC

            For one, he posted the video without making any sort of denouncement of the mockery whatsoever.

            • Matt D

              Mockery doesn’t need to be denounced, it’s a form of humor. Regardless, you can pretend it makes their argument invalid, but that isn’t true.

              • joey_in_NC

                Mockery doesn’t need to be denounced, it’s a form of humor.

                And Michael Richards’
                incident at the Laugh Factory
                could also be considered mockery and a form of humor. Doesn’t mean that it wasn’t completely tasteless and worthy of denouncement. There are actually some people who thought Michael Richards was genuinely funny and was being simply satirical. I would call these people racists.

                • trj

                  If you found either the clip or Hemant’s commentary “completely tasteless and worthy of denouncement” you should have no problem telling us what specific problems you see with them.

                  So far, all you’ve managed is to convey that you’re offended in some general sense that someone made a sketch, and that we didn’t all immediately denounce it.

                  So give us some details of what it is that is so terrible about this piece. If you can’t do that, don’t expect people to take you seriously whenever you say you’re offended.

                • joey_in_NC

                  If you can’t do that, don’t expect people to take you seriously whenever you say you’re offended.

                  I never said I was offended. I did claim that it was anti-Catholic, which it is (quite simply because it mocks Roman Catholic priests) I simply wanted to know if Hemant feels there is nothing wrong with this blatant attempt to mock Catholics, the same way he feels there is nothing wrong with the “Ghost Burger” that mocks the Eucharist (from a blog post several days ago).

                  I have also been searching whether Hemant ever voiced his opinion regarding PZ Myers’ desecration of a consecrated Eucharist a few years back. I can’t find anything after a quick google search. Do you know? I simply want to get a fuller picture of who this Hemant guy really is (rather than what he claims to be).

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  So you’re sullenly stalking the blog hoping for “gotchas” like a good little offended, humorblind, godbotting venom sack. Understood.

                • joey_in_NC

                  …sullenly stalking the blog

                  Seems like you’re the one stalking me.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  Poor, poor dumb wahbaby. Why didn’t Jesus teach you enough love to make you not lie reflexively? What happened to the magic He was supposed to put in you? Did it all drip back out and get flushed?

            • Glasofruix

              Denounce what exactly? You’re the only one flipping your shit all over it, as predicted.

            • C.L. Honeycutt

              Jesus but you are desperate for universal approval for your support of child rape.

              • joey_in_NC

                Yes, all Catholics support child rape. If you think that, then you’re simply an idiot.

                • 3lemenope

                  Most Catholics support child rape the same way most Americans support police brutality.

                  See no evil, hear no evil. Just a word of advice: if you stick your fingers too far into your ear canal, you may cause damage to your hearing.

                • joey_in_NC

                  Most Catholics support child rape the same way most Americans support police brutality.

                  Yeah, and both are stupid assertions.

                • 3lemenope

                  Considering how blasé:

                  1. Americans are about police beating the shit out of people who don’t look like them

                  and

                  2. Catholics are about their hierarchy raping little kids and then hiding both the perpetrators and their own involvement

                  I’m gonna go with it being a pretty apt analogy. You can feel free to show otherwise, if you can.

                  I don’t think you can.

                • joey_in_NC

                  Alright, using your logic, then “most Americans” supported the Iraq War.

                • 3lemenope

                  Where the hell were you? Most did, flat out, at the beginning.

                  And yes, people who didn’t act to end it were supporting it through inaction. It takes as little, perhaps, as simply expressing the opinion to someone else with the intent of convincing them.

                  Most people don’t even do that. They quietly go along with just about anything, even if “anything” is something horrific.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  Oh good, another fool who wasn’t actually paying attention when we were dragged into a war on false pretenses and the majority of Americans cheered it.

                • steve

                  Joey, to the extent that catholics (I assume you are a catholic) provide moral and financial support to the catholic church (I know you provide moral support, I assume you provide financial support) they are complicit in the criminal fucking of children by catholic clergy.

                  Your membership in this multinational kiddy fucking cartel is entirely voluntary (I’m not avoiding the possibility that you were indoctrinated in this brutal, anti-human belief system as an child unable to give informed consent) and as an adult (I assume you are an adult, the content of your posts indicates otherwise) you choose to belong to this organization and thus are aiding and abetting in their criminal activities, not limited to the rape of children, an active program of genocide in sub-saharan Africa and an ongoing program to subvert the rights of women and homo-sexuals around the world.

                  So yes, all catholics do support child rape.

                  Thank you for pointing that out.

                • joey_in_NC

                  So yes, all catholics do support child rape.

                  And all tax-paying Americans support drone attacks.

                • blasphemous_kansan

                  False equivalence

                  Insert coin and try again.

                • joey_in_NC

                  False equivalence

                  It’s not. Otherwise, you’d at least attempt to explain why you think it is so.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  Catholics can make a choice to fund Catholicism while its leaders enable child rape and blame the victims, and a choice to stay silent about enabling child rape. Overwhelmingly, they choose to exercise those choices.

                  Feel free to Google what a false equivalence is next time instead of complaining about your own lack of logic skills, Venom Sack.

                • joey_in_NC

                  Catholics can make a choice to fund Catholicism…

                  And Americans can make a choice to fund the American government. They always have the choice of emigrating elsewhere.

                  …Venom Sack

                  Your continued use of ad hominems gives me a clearer picture of the type of person you are.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  And Americans can make a choice to fund the American government. They always have the choice of emigrating elsewhere.

                  No, more than 99% of them cannot. Pity Jesus didn’t teach you how to not lie.

                  <blockquote.Your continued use of ad hominems gives me a clear picture of the type of person you are.

                  Thanks for again demonstrating that just-mentioned lack of ability to Google and read, but I already had your number. Your continued stupidity in not knowing what an ad hominem is, despite having had it explained to you and the whole of the Internet available, only speaks ill of the alleged reasoning skills you claimed to possess, Sack.

                • blasphemous_kansan

                  Or you could look up what ‘false equivalence’ means, and find out for yourself. Too much work I guess, expecting you to seek out knowledge.

                  A law-abiding American citizen can not make the choice, without great cost and expense to themselves, to not pay taxes and not support the war-faring organization that is the government.
                  [above edited for clarity]

                  A law-abiding American citizen can make the choice, with no cost or expense to themselves, to not support an organization that seems complicit in covering up crimes against children.

                  Therefore, the decision to pay taxes is in no way equivalent in scale or consequence to the decision to give money to a church.

                  I hope you enjoyed the lesson.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  Yes, all Catholics support child rape.

                  You heard it from the man-child himself, folks!

                  But seriously, it is a pity that you’re too stupid to know that you had to make something up right there to even have a complaint to screech and whine over.

                • C.L. Honeycutt

                  Oh, I forgot:

                  Venom Sack for Christ.

                • Spuddie

                  Or just read the news.

                  After all an organization which systematically covers up evidence of wrong doing by its employees and deliberately hides money to avoid paying settlements and judgments always gets to claim moral high ground.

            • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

              Why would he denounce it? things are mocked all the time. We have all kinds of tv shows, websites and magazines that do nothing but mock things. Why should Catholics be a special case? Why should anyone oppose mockery?

    • God’s Starship

      There’s a code in it. We’re preparing for the war on Christmas. See if you can crack it.

      • islandbrewer

        War on Christmas, already? It’s not even Hallloween, yet, dammit!

        • C.L. Honeycutt

          Christmas trees have been out for sale in K-Mart for over a month.

    • steve

      So what part bothered you the most Joey, the fact that no children were involved or the catholic church condoning sexual relations between consenting adults ?

    • EuropeanCommunist

      Why to oppress Christians of course. Is it working?

  • The Other Weirdo

    The priest on the left looks like a werewolf just before a change. The priest on the right is the stereotypical priest. Don’t know what scares me the most.

    • arensb

      The priest on the right is played by the cartoonist. Make of that what you will. I’m going to make of it a hat. Or a brooch. Or a pterodactyl.

  • Paul (not the apostle)

    At least there are no alter boys present. I call that a big improvement, maybe the catholic church is evolving.

    • Mitch

      Well done, sir. Took my idea.

    • Matt D

      Well, assuming they don’t hide them under their robes.

    • Andy

      alter(ed) boys or altar boys?

  • Chris Jojo

    Why is this blog called the “Friendly Atheist”? It’s just as mockery-based as the rest of atheism.

    • Matt D

      Oh please, spare us the “shame on you” act. We aren’t concerned that you disapprove of mockery, it’s harmless compared to what the religious have done in the past.

    • Glasofruix

      Mockery doesn’t always mean it’s not true, deal with it.

    • Mario Strada

      Make yourselves less easy to mock.

      And thank you for filling out by bingo card under the box “Idiots that complain about this blog title and their hurt feelings”.

    • islandbrewer

      You’ve mistaken this for Chris Stedman’s blog “The Doormat Atheist.”

    • God’s Starship

      Better than being hate-based like the dominionist sites.

    • Gus

      Atheism is mockery based? And all this time I thought it was evidence based and mockery was just something we did for fun from time to time.

      • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

        it’s actually based on skepticism and reason. The mockery is just a tasty side dish.

        • C.L. Honeycutt

          /eyebrow

          …Babies are made of skepticism and reason?

          • Fentwin

            Babies are the reason for the season(ing).

    • http://nomadwarriormonk.blogspot.com/ Cyrus Palmer

      WINNER!!! You’re the 10,000th butthurt christian to post that exact comment! Someone give em’ the fabulous prize!

      • Glasofruix

        Can you make it flamboyantly fabulous?

    • calesuar

      If you believe in Superstition, either get ready to be ridiculed, or, shut them up with Evidence.

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      Poor wahbaby, someone on the Internet doesn’t kowtow to your demands for unearned respect for your publicly aired superstitious beliefs. Poor, poor wahbaby.

    • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

      Stop doing and saying stupid shit and we’ll mock you less. Or not. Religion is such an easy target for satire. People who take themselves so seriously, have no sense of humor about themselves and freak out over any comment they don’t like are just asking for it. It’s almost too easy.

    • RobMcCune

      Really? I thought it was your religion that was the mockery, my mistake.

    • Fentwin

      Ain’t America great or what!?
      You can believe any nonsense you wsih to believe, thats your right.
      We have the right to point and laugh. Great huh?

    • Kodie

      You are such a killjoy. All these jokes in the world, and you without a sense of humor.

  • h2ocean

    This is just pure catholophobia – a form of anti-catholic racism.

    Wait, catholophobia isn’t a thing?

    *sarcasm

    • allein

      I didn’t know Catholic was a race…

    • Gus

      I hope you’ve scrolled up to see the people actually claiming Catholophobia without irony.

  • Lurker111

    I’m waiting for Henri to comment.

  • http://nomadwarriormonk.blogspot.com/ Cyrus Palmer

    Hysterical, even if i can’t understand it.

  • Itarion

    So wrong, in so many ways. I love it! I want one, and I don’t even speak French. (just English, y un poco español.)

  • arensb

    Oh, neat: there’s now an official version with English subtitles.


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