Atheist Shoes… for Babies!

You all know David Bonney. He’s the German shoemaker who made international headlines last year when his Kickstarter for atheist shoes (with godless messages on the soles) far exceeded his goal and delivery of the packages seemed to be delayed whenever a US Postal Service worker saw the ATHEIST-branded packing tape…

No matter. More than 1,000 pairs of the shoes were eventually sold and 10% of profits even went to secular charities!

Now, Bonney is back with a new creation: Atheist shoes for babies! But since it wouldn’t be fair to say a baby actively disbelieves in God, Bonney made shoes that honor the higher powers they do believe in: their moms, their dads, and the sources of their nourishment:

(Make sure you watch the 1:40 and 5:37 marks of that video!)

Our baby shoe is just as snuggly and comfy as our grown-up shoe, handmade with a very soft, untreated leather and 100% cotton teddy bear fur. It also has a soft sole, not too restricting for quickly growing feet and allowing older babies to learn to walk as nature intended.

But the real magic happens on the underside, where we’ve screen-printed homages to the only supreme beings a baby knows… “I believe in Mummy”, “I believe in Daddy” and “I believe in Booby”.

You can buy pairs reading daddy/mummy, daddy/daddy, mummy/mummy, and booby/booby. While the shoes are made of leather, vegan versions will be available, too!

Their vision for the shoes is a noble one, indeed:

We’d love to see babies with great looking feet, free to enjoy the bliss of babyhood, and parents holding-off on handing the souls of their offspring over to deities, at least until the child is old enough to say “hang on, that’s mine!”

I love this company. I want a baby just so I can buy it these shoes.

Even if you don’t need baby shoes, be sure to check out their other offerings!

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • C.L. Honeycutt

    Why would you need baby shoes if you’re just going to eat them anyway? I mean, I could see it if the shoes were made out of, say, cheddar with bacon bits. Ooh, or hollowed-out Twinkies!

    • Matt Eggler

      I know! I hate picking bits of sole out of my teeth…

    • Chris Hollis

      mmmmm, baby with bacon booties!

    • Chuck Farley

      the shoes serve two purposes. First, it protects the tender baby feet from being overcooked during the final phase of roasting, when you are trying to brown the rest of the skin. Secondly, they are decorative. Before carving you can wow your guests with just how well your baby is cooked.

      • Ron

        Good advice. Got any wine recommendations?

        • Chuck Farley

          I’m more of a beer guy myself, and I’d go with a nice lager or pilsner. Its lighter flavor won’t interfere with the delicate taste of the baby. If you’re more into wine, pair this with whatever wine you prefer with fowl, probably something not too dry. If pressed I would choose a Riesling, but that’s where my taste in wine lies. Bon Apetit!

  • The Other Weirdo

    I believe in booby

    Shut up and take my money!

    • eric

      Yeah, I expect you could sell a lot of adult shoes with that imprint too. It’s breast cancer awareness month, after all.

  • Beth

    As a breastfeeding mom love the “Booby” shoes!

  • suzeb1964

    But, shouldn’t Atheist shoes be made FROM babies, instead of FOR babies? This could seriously cramp my evil, blood-drinking, baby-eating reputation.

  • Eleazar

    I, too, believe in the power of boobies.

  • Santiago

    The shoes are cute, but I’m glad the baby version isn’t too overtly atheist, since I don’t think it’s right to tell kids what to believe, in either direction.

  • cary_w

    Love the shoes, particularly the “teddy bear fur”, but if they are going to sell them in the American market they really need to make a version with “Mommy” instead of “Mummy”. Sorry, but to me “Mummy” has always been a dead guy wrapped in bandages, not a mother, and I want my baby to believe in me, not some walking dead guy!

    • C.L. Honeycutt

      not some walking dead guy!

      Like Jesus?

    • islandbrewer

      I’m firmly opposed to the hunting of wild teddy bears. Removal of wild teddy bears for the teddy bear fur trade will wreck havoc with the stuffed animal ecosystem. Teddy bear fur should be taken from sustainably raised domestic teddy bears stuck in small cages stinking of teddy bear poop. It’s only ethical.

  • ShoeUnited

    All these decades later, I still believe in booby.

  • Cass W.

    But we have to remind ourselves this is in no way similar to having an atheist baby, if we get so angry with Christians for calling their babies Christian.

  • Mario Strada

    Hemant, if you love the shoes so much, that’s what rear view mirrors are for.

  • cryofly

    May I have a 9W please?