He Moves Like an Angel

No one ever told me until now that this was a real book:

That pose… it looks so… familiar….

You’re all getting that book for Christmas, just so you know.

(via The American Jesus)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Mitch

    Could Jesus teach me how to dougie?

  • Trickster Goddess

    That looks like some kind of awkward christian kung fu pose.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/m6wg4bxw/ m6wg4bxw

      I’m seeing a gay uppercut.

  • Poose

    That’s apparently the Water Walk. It also includes directions for the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga.

    We no longer need to ridicule them-doing fine all by themselves…

    Seriously, the Judas Hustle?

    • Leah

      This was apparently written by the guy who wrote the South Park episode guides. I doubt it’s sold at the Christian bookstore.

      • Poose

        OOHHHH! Missed that!

        I think I just defined Poe’s Law…

      • Kodie

        Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
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        Apparently, I am doing something wrong.

  • Paul (not the apostle)

    Now we need an instruction manual on foreign language instruction for the charismatics to accompany the dancing. When I was a kid many members of my church thought that babbling was a real foreign language. That has been so hard to defend that most now say it is a heavenly prayer language.

  • Birdie1986

    That is one of my favorite TV moments of all time (not Jesus – Carlton).

  • LesterBallard

    If I dance with Jesus can I cop a feel?

  • Robert Stoll

    Carlton=Jesus. I knew it.

    • Sideshow_Billybob

      No no no- Jesus learned from Carlton. Carlton = God!

  • A3Kr0n

    OMG, it has an animated lenticular cover!

  • http://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I thought of Carlton as soon as I saw the picture and lets enjoy some 1 star reviews.

    I bought this, learned the dance moves, and then the lights in my house went out and I could smell the Devil. He was calling me his little cupcake again.

    These dance moves will bring you that much closer to not only hell but sin as well.
    Purchase at your own risk.

    _________________________________________________________________

    I received this as a gift for my two year old. It teaches kids to mock Jesus and otherwise laugh at things that aren’t funny, but holy. I promptly put it in the trash. You should too.

  • momtarkle

    The sequel, “Twerking with Jesus”, will be out by December 25th.

    • http://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q Kevin_Of_Bangor

      I did a Google search for twerking with Jesus and found this.

  • http://yogscast.wikia.com/wiki/User:Supertoastfairy Supertoastfairy

    He’s spreading the funky word.

  • Robster

    Jees I hope he doesn’t sing.

  • ShoeUnited

    Could God do a dance so erotic even he would cast himself into hell for doing it?

  • Guest
  • Pluto Animus

    Seriously, I thought Hemant meant that Jesus was eagerly practicing his fisting.

  • Bruce Heerssen

    FIFY


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