If a Scientist Wrote the Book of Genesis, It Would Look Like This

Tom Carver has written the first five books of the Bible from the perspective of someone who cares far more about science than faith. His Pentateuch is called The Newer, More English Version:

In the excerpt below, we go right back to the beginning:

In the beginning was the singularity, and the singularity was infinitely dense and infinitely hot,
And the singularity expanded and the singularity cooled and there was chaos,
And of the primeval atom was born the Universe.

And the Universe was matter and antimatter, and baryogenesis was violated and matter annihilated antimatter until only matter remained,
And matter resolved into hydrogen, and after hydrogen came helium and deuterium and all elements,
And with elements came mass and with mass came gravity,
And gravity caused gas clouds to form into stars and planets and moons,
And gravity caused planets to revolve around stars, and moons around planets,
And on some planets the elements manifested as water and as earth, and there were seas and lands and atmosphere,
And the orbit of planets cast days and nights and the orbit of moons pulled tides, and of the imperfection of orbits sprung seasons,
And of the chemistry on one particular planet, and maybe others also, came nucleic acids, and nucleic acids were good.

Now nucleic acids were unlike other molecules, and nucleic acids were loosely replicable,
And in the disorder and the richness on the earth the nucleic acids became numerous,
And the nucleic acids all were different.

And of the chemistry also came proteins and proteins too were unlike other molecules,
And some proteins encased and some protected and some catalysed nucleic acids, and it was good.
And from the proteins and the nucleic acids and the symbiosis thereof was borne life.

And each life needed raw material to replicate, and those with most raw material became most common,
And as time passed and generations of lifes came and went simplifications and complexities arose by chance,
And some garnered more raw material and some garnered less and the fittest survived.

And in time life begat ur-cells and those ur-cells lived and replicated and evolved through luck and circumstances,
And of those ur-cells came photoynthesisers and fungi and algae and all sorts,

And by the same force multiple celled constructs arose and flourished and in time all forms of squirming masses and photoynthesisers.
And so in time from the first nucleic acid came animals that lived on the land and those that lived in the air, and plants that lived in the sea and plants that lived on the land, and all forms of complications and devices permitted.

But as the lifes thrived a terrible event did come to pass, and ninety-five of every hundred of the species of creatures then alive were destroyed.
But the squirming masses and photosynthesisers did recover, and the ecosystem did rebuild, and the dinosaurs did have dominion.
And as the climate shifted and niches moved, birds and mammals and grass did evolve and dinosaurs extinguished.

And of the multitude did emerge an ur-hominid, whose seed would come to have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that moveth.

And God was pleased.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.


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