Minister Compiles Shockingly Accurate List of All the Ways American Christians Are Being Persecuted

My friend Benjamin Corey, a preacher, theologian, and fellow Patheos blogger, has poured a lot of research into making an exhaustive list of how Christians are being persecuted in present-day America.

He says:

I have put a great deal of time into this, and I am confident that I have included all examples of anti-Christian persecution in the United States. Feel free to save this piece as a reference when questions of persecution come up in the future.

I hope that his shocking exposé will go viral, allowing millions to see the true extent of the problem.

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  • Octoberfurst

    Perfect!

  • CanuckAmuck

    A comprehensive list, to be sure, but did he have to use that font?

  • WallofSleep

    Comprehensive yes, but there were a couple of redundancies.

  • Could someone please copy/pasta the list here? I can’t see the actual list items in Chrome or IE. Weird.

    EDIT: Boy, is my face red! lol

  • SeekerLancer

    *slow clap*

  • Oh, wait. That’s the joke, right? Damn it!

  • Lando

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    😉

  • WallofSleep

    I think I know what’s wrong here. What you’re looking at is an ancient, cabalist script. You have to be a seventh level zionist just to be able to perceive it, and at least a twelfth level zionist to begin to comprehend it.

    But oh boy, if you only knew what it said about us atheists. Your face would be soooo red right now.

  • paulalovescats

    Without even looking, I’ll hazard a guess that it’s blank.

  • He forgot one:

    |

    |

    |

    |
    There. I think the list is complete now.

  • Jachra

    Wow, I had a hard time telling if this was sarcastic or not. 😀

  • LutherW

    Must be accurate as it includes full color nude photos of Jesus and Santa as described on Fox “News”.

  • cyb pauli

    “You don’t have to register for the draft.”
    “I don’t GET to register for the draft.”

  • At least you didn’t try the link in multiple browsers like someone around here did…..

  • WallofSleep

    BTW, thank you very much. I was in a cranky mood and you just cheered me up.

  • Matt Bowyer

    Yeah, that’s pretty exhaustive.

  • No prob. Cheered myself a bit too. I was foul already and was itching to see this crazy list even more. Fell for it.

  • J.W. Browning

    Wonderful.

  • Faustinah Santiago

    Exactly. Hahaha.

  • Matt Potter

    I don’t know what you guys are talking about, the list was extremely detailed and very eye opening! Perhaps if you were ‘real’ Christians you’d be able to read the list, if you accept Jesus in heart he’ll open the list up to your eyes!

  • Gehennah

    That made my day.

  • BadLad

    It’s like “The Wit and Wisdom of Spiro T. Agnew”.

  • Castilliano

    “Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that
    one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely!
    In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion…
    perhaps around their necks? And maybe — dare I dream it? — maybe one
    day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them.
    Consecutively.”
    Jon Stewart

  • Artor

    Sans Comic Sans is kind of meta.

  • Lando

    All I see is a bunch of sacred crosses with their arms lopped off. Persecution!!!

  • Lando

    I want whatever browser you’re using…wait, no I don’t.

  • A3Kr0n

    I’m diving in blind here, trusting you will provide me with endless laughter.
    Onward!
    Yup. That was good.

  • L.G. Keltner

    Love his list!

  • Sherralyn Caylor

    Oh jeez..

  • Psycho Gecko

    But did it have to include a nude Muhammad in the list? Think of the children!

  • My family experienced Item Number __ while I was growing up. It was a horrible experience, to say the least. One which has scarred me to this day.

  • UWIR

    What was really annoying was how there was no word the same color as any other word.

  • Itarion

    You’d be just as able to read it blind as sighted.

  • Randay

    I got had too. I have been looking for a smiley that might indicate a facepalm. Here are some possiblities: 0 or #0 or “0(all zero) accompanied by “D’Oh” which I associate with Homer Simpson, the best facepalmer of all.

  • Speedwell

    To the commenter at the other blog wanting to know where to get a suitable-for-framing copy: I looked under the fax machine at work this morning, and there are several thousand copies of that list stacked inside the cabinet, in three different sizes, yet. I tried to get people to stop loading the copier with them, and my boss was so appreciative she gave me the rest of the day off.

    j/k… a nice sit-down with my PowerPoint presentation and a cup of tea might be in order…

  • Fallulah

    Yep, that’s about the extent of it!!