Mark Driscoll Admitted to Trolling His Own Church’s Online Forums 14 Years Ago & the Thread is Still Online. Whoops!

In 2006, Pastor Mark Driscoll published a book called Confessions of a Reformission Rev.: Hard Lessons from an Emerging Missional Church in which he admitted to secretly participating in his own church’s online forums:

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At this time, our church also started an unmoderated discussion board on our website, called Midrash, and it was being inundated with postings by emerging-church type feminists and liberals. I went onto the site and posted as William Wallace II, after the great Scottish man portrayed in the movie Braveheart, and attacked those who were posting.

In the wake of all the bad publicity surrounding Mars Hill Church lately, with its cult-like structure and exodus of church members who are sharing their horror stories online, Driscoll and his allies are doing everything they can to scrub his past statements from their website.

Thankfully, the Internet doesn’t forget. And what “William Wallace II” had to say in 2000 is just incredible. All 140 pages of it. This isn’t breaking news — people have known about this for a while — but seeing it in the wake of what the world is learning about Driscoll just puts another nail in his coffin.

Here’s just a sampling from the first few posts he made:

We live in a completely pussified nation.

We could get every man, real man as opposed to pussified James Dobson knock-off crying Promise Keeping homoerotic worship loving mama’s boy sensitive emasculated neutered exact male replica evangellyfish, and have a conference in a phone booth. It all began with Adam, the first of the pussified nation, who kept his mouth shut and watched everything fall headlong down the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his mouth and listened to his wife who thought Satan was a good theologian when he should have lead her and exercised his delegated authority as king of the planet. As a result, he was cursed for listening to his wife and every man since has been his pussified sit quietly by and watch a nation of men be raised by bitter penis envying burned feministed single mothers who make sure that Johnny grows up to be a very nice woman who sits down to pee.

I know many of the women will disagree, and they like Eve should not speak on this matter. And, many men will also disagree, which is further proof of the pussified epidemic having now become air born and universal.

Pussified men are inarguably legion.

Nothing short of an exorcism is needed.

… A man is free to knock boots with any sad hairy lump of clay desperate enough to climb in the sheets and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that total depravity is an understatement, but what the hell you want from me? Should we form some form of homo Promise Keepers so we can all climb into a stadium and hug each other and cry like damn junior high girls watching Dawson’s Creek. I’d tell you to kiss my ass, but I’m afraid you’d take me up on it.

Jesus was not a pussy. He did love the world. By, being beaten, scourged, whipped and generally having the flesh ripped off his back so he could carry a wooden cross. Bleeding and nearly naked nailed to a piece of wood and mocked, Jesus took his beating and took upon Himself the sins of the elect and the ensuing wrath of the Father. Does Jesus love us? Yes. How? As a manly man.

Now, female comrades, I would urge you sisters to step forward and testify.

Todays question is for you, give us the most pussified man you have ever known and tell us why you were sickened. Ever have a guy take you out “dutch”, ever have a guy cry when you dumped him, ever had a man so scared he took forever to ask you out, or maybe hasn’t even worked up the courage yet.

Testify!

I have been thinking and praying about this whole string and I am really sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings. I am sorry if men of God had their inner child spanked. I feel terrible for all the tears you guys have shed over the pain of my words. Please forgive me. Please come to my house right now so I can hold you tightly in my arms and draw you to myself and whisper oh so sweetly in your ears…shut the hell up.

Turns out Troll Driscoll is really no different from the actual Driscoll. And that’s just from the first few pages of the document. These comments aren’t going away, no matter how hard the church’s leadership tries to make them disappear. Good luck reading the whole thing.

(via Dear Pastor Mark & Mars Hill: We Are Not Anonymous)

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