Contradicting His Colleague, Muslim Theologian Says Blowjobs Are Not Forbidden in the Faith

Remember when Muslim theologian Ali Riza Demircan told a talk show host which kinds of sex acts were forbidden (“haram”) in the faith? There was anal sex and sodomy… and “oral sex in advanced dimensions,” whatever that meant.

Another Muslim theologian, Ahmet Mahmut Ünlü, has now gone on record as saying his colleague was wrong and that oral sex is fine.

But the way he explained it was all sorts of cringe-worthy:

Contradicting Demircan, Ünlü said the Quran does not stipulate such a ban. “Brothers, let’s speak frankly: [Islam’s] Shafi’i sect allows this act, as it considers human semen a clean substance. On the other hand, the Hanafi sect considers semen as dirty, but adds that a dress can be cleaned by simply rubbing the semen off when it dries.”

There you have it. Semen is okay. And dried-up semen comes off rather quickly. (Heh.)

Sean McGuire points out that, while Ünlü says blowjobs are okay, he might feel differently if the scenario involved two men.

That concludes another edition of The Worst Sex Advice Column Ever.

(via Sean McGuire)