Try These Biblical Pick-Up Lines on Someone

Mallory Ortberg, who frequently rewrites Bible passages for amusement, offers her list of prayers that would double as pick-up lines:

VbMoQjf

“I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always! Show me how to live.”

I’m shocked that Song of Solomon 7:12 didn’t make her list:

Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom — there I will give you my love.

Hot stuff.

(via The Toast)

"I though it was "The Christian Right is neither.""

The Christian Faith Lost in Alabama’s ..."
"I wasn't sure they counted them as persons."

The Christian Faith Lost in Alabama’s ..."
"Yup. This article and these comments/memes say everything I wanted to."

There Are No Atheists in Foxholes ..."
"I know I shouldn't, but I do wish he dies of a heart attack."

Rep. Louie Gohmert: Had Hillary Clinton ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment