Bryan Fischer: Methuselah Lived to 969 Because He Was Protected by a “Vapor Canopy”

While there are many parts of the Bible that make people question its legitimacy, the age of Methuselah is a fairly simple one.

How the hell did someone live to the ripe old age of 969?

Don’t worry. Christian Right leader Bryan Fischer has a perfectly logical explanation.

It involves a vapor cloud and radiation and genetics. You know, science.


Echoing his theory that dinosaurs were really just 1,000-year-old lizards that existed prior to Noah’s flood, Fischer explained that prior to the flood, there existed a “vapor canopy that surrounded the earth, this vapor canopy protected the surface of the earth and the people who lived on the surface of the earth from some of the harmful radiation that came from the sun and other sources.”

During the flood, Fischer said, that vapor canopy “condensed and fell as rain” and “that protective shield dissipated and so now there were some genetic impacts, impacts on DNA from this radiation coming in with no protection” and “that began to impact the longevity of people.”

Yep. That’s totally how it happened. The radiation hit us and then our telomeres shortened within a generation.

Good thing we have the Bible or we’d never know the mechanisms of science…

The simpler and more reasonable explanation for all this is that it simply never happened. But Fischer has never met a conspiracy theory he doesn’t like if it means confirming his delusions.

(via Right Wing Watch)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.