A Passenger Nearly Died in a Car Explosion, but Don’t Worry! His Bible Escaped Without a Scratch

A hit-and-run accident in Memphis, Tennessee nearly cost a man his life on Sunday afternoon when his vehicle ran off the road, hit a pole, and burst into flames. Several onlookers ran to the car but initially struggled to unpin the man from underneath the steering wheel. Thankfully, though, they eventually pulled the man to safety.

Now we can talk about his incredible escape, or the dozen brave strangers who stopped to help him, or how the driver who caused the accident got away.

But the media is mostly concerned about how God made an appearance at the scene, forming a protective force field around a Bible that was on the passenger seat.

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According to reports the firefighters found the Bible on the front seat — at what point in the rescue is unclear. There is no photo or video evidence of the Bible being pulled from the car to satisfy those of us wearing skeptical goggles. There is, however, a big mess of other paper items lying outside the car, also untouched by the fire.


Sadly, the lack of evidence didn’t stop several local news outlets from losing their collective minds over the divine symbolism. They inserted “Bible” into their headlines, but failed to praise the “Homework God,” or whatever supernatural force was looking over the rest of the paper mess.

There’s an intense video taken by onlooker Anita Irby, who may have single-handedly summoned God by relentlessly chanting for a shower of Jesus’ blood… which I’ve taken up the painstaking task of transcribing for you:

JesusCrash

The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus. Come on, come on, come on, come on. The blood of Jesus. Here up y’all, get him outta there. Come on, come on, come on, the blood of Jesus. Come on, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, hurry y’all please! Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus.

Come on y’all, please. Get him out, get him out.

The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, *incoherent* The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, God, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, get him out y’all! Come on! Come on! Get him out, get him out!

The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Jesus! The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, come on babies! Get him out God! The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus. Come on, Jesus, the blood, the blood, the blood. The blood, the blood. Jesus, the blood of Jesus.

THE BLOOD OF JESUS! GOD I THANK YOU!

The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus. Come on babies! Please God, hold that fire!

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, MORE JESUS. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, help them Jesus, Jesus. God you hold it, Jesus, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Lord the blood.

Satan, you a lie! The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. Devil, you a lie. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus. Jesus, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Jesus, the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Stain your blood, Jesus. Stain your blood Jesus.

LET THE SEAT BACK! LET THE SEAT BACK! LET THE SEAT BACK! The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. God, Jesus! The blood of Jesus.

They got him. They got him. They got him.

THANK YOU, JESUS! Thank you, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Jesus. They got him out. They got him out. They got him out, Jesus. They got him out. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Ooooh shit. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!

It’s gonna explode. It’s gonna explode. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus! Amen, Jesus. Amen, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus…

Thanks to the heroic efforts of actual humans who kept their phones in their pockets during the crisis and put their hands and minds to work, the passenger is said to be in non-critical condition after being transported to Regional Medical Center.

About Tracey Moody

An atheist dropped in the heart of the Christian publishing world - Nashville, Tennessee. I'm trying my best to keep a good attitude and friendly disposition while being surrounded by people with imaginary friends.


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