Someone Didn’t Think Through This $50,000 Kickstarter That Delivers Your Prayers to Israel

Let’s talk about how prayers work. (I mean, they don’t, but bear with me.)

At least in theory, if you want to talk to God, you just wish for something and He hears you. Some people like to clasp their hands together when they pray. Or kneel. Or say the words out loud. None of that improves the Wi-Fi connection, though. And none of that means God will accept or reject your request. (Hell, if you believe He’s so damn omniscient and has your life planned out, asking him to modify it is just plain rude.)

Prayer is just one of those rituals that religious people never actually think through. If they did, they’d realize it makes no sense at all.

That also means Christian entrepreneurs can take advantage of religious people by creating ways to make sure your prayers are really, truly heard by God. As if the Atlantic Ocean ruins God’s ability to hear your desires.

Paul Tucker currently has a $50,000 Kickstarter project that will deliver your prayers to holy sites in Israel… because that, apparently, does something that “normal” prayers can’t. I don’t know how that works, but there you go.

Our Prayer Delivery Service offers people of all faiths, from all across the world, an opportunity to connect with God, one on One, and co-create their own unique, spiritual experience with God, in more than 18 of the holiest sites, all located in the Holy Land of Israel. The spiritual service we offer will provide jobs in both the U.S. and the Holy Land to many people in need, connect people all around the world with their Higher Power and inspire the hearts of many.

…

For a nominal hardware cost, we are able to provide an array of creative services to our customers by utilizing an array of simple proven technology with an iPhone; HD video camera, High Resolution camera, FaceTime video chat, email, phone, cloud storage, text, apps, etc. For a one time nominal hardware cost, we overcome the usual high cost barriers normally associated with being a technology based company. We have already purchased all the hardware for a full staff of prayer agents. (*iPhones, Macbook computers, server, phone system for office, etc.)

…

Our prayer agents will always maintain complete discretion on location by using google type “blue tooth glasses” to deliver prayers, take pictures, records videos and FaceTime. Even though tourism in the Holy Land is free, we will maintain a low profile while building a potential army of prayer agents throughout Israel, without any type of regulation, permission/license fee, product or fulfillment cost to our Company.

Is anyone fluent in bullshit? I’d appreciate a translation.

What does this service offer that “normal” prayers don’t? Do I get my money back if the prayers aren’t answered? Why do I need someone else to pray on my behalf? Does God not listen to people in the U.S.?

Here’s the good news. With under 48 hours to go before the end of the campaign, $0 has been raised by 0 people.

That pretty good evidence that the product doesn’t work. If the creator of a Prayer service can’t get God to help him out, why should the rest of us waste our money?

(Thanks to Andrew for the link)